Scanner : calendar

Super-Exclusive Nude Calendar Makes Us Want to Go to Africa For Some Reason

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 20:33:00 GMT

These pictures have floated past us on the internet on at least a dozen different occasions, from one mysterious origin or another. At one time, Kate Moss was rumored to have participated in the 2009 Pirelli calendar, an arty nude photography review limited to 30,000 copies, but we haven't been able to find any photos from this year.

The rest, however, which involve naked models mounting elephants and their, um, rigid tusks, should suffice.

Thanks to Jalopnik and other sources for their links. Don't forget to purchase the calendar-- if you can figure out how!

No, Wait, the Lithuanian Playboy Calendar Is What We Really Wanted

Our Favorite Dumb Criminal: Burglar Leaves Sex Tape At the Scene

Carmen Electra's Latest Playboy Shoot Explains Why The Magazine Is Failing

Git Yer New York Sex Blogger Calendar Here!

Emily Farris — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 20:59:00 GMT

Didn't get your 2009 New York Sex Blogger calendar yet? You can still get it online and all twenty of your dollars will go to Sex Work Awareness.

See who made the cut (our IBFF—Internet Best Friend Forever—Rachel Kramer Bussel and former Nerve Blog-a-Logger FunkyBrownChick) and who didn't (us, but everybody knows we're more pop-culture bloggers, than sex bloggers, right? That's why we're not in the calendar... right? Right?).

Month: January
Blogger: Mariella Ella
Site: In Medias Res

Month: February
Blogger: Tess Danesi
Site: Urban Gypsy

Month: March
Blogger: Twanna A. Hines
Site: Funky Brown Chick

Month: April
Blogger: Audacia Ray
Site: Waking Vixen

Month: May
Blogger: Rachel Kramer Bussel
Site: Lusty Lady

Month: June
Blogger: Mary “Riese” Lyn Bernard
Site: This Girl Called Automatic Win

Month: July
Blogger: Jayme Waxman
Site: JaymeWaxman.com

Month: August
Blogger: Sinclair Sexsmith
Site: Sugarbutch Chronicles

Month: September
Blogger: Lux Alptraum
Site: Boinkology

Month: October
Blogger: Diva
Site: Debauched Domestic Diva

Month: November
Blogger: Desiree
Site: BaserInstincts

Month: December
Blogger: Elizabeth Wood
Site: Sex in the Public Square

[Village Voice: Meet New York's Sex Bloggers]

[Purchase a 2009 New York Sex Bloggers Calendar]

Photo by Stacie Joy

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No, Wait, the Lithuanian Playboy Calendar Is What We Really Wanted

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 15:50:00 GMT

The year's almost over and we came this close to missing out on the best all-female nude calendar of 2009... oddly enough, it's one photographer's set for Lithuanian Playboy...

Here we present the best of the best, plus...

...one outtake, which you won't see anywhere else.

All photos via photographer Gediminas Zilinskas, whose website is here and features a tremendous selection of tasteful nudes.

Related:

Top 5 Sex Scenes From... 2007

Sexy Priest: The 2009 Calendar... From the Vatican

Sasha Grey Completely Naked in New American Apparel Ad

Exclusive: The 2009 Playboy Calendar Revealed

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 22:33:00 GMT

I know, I know... wall calendars are already on the bargain shelves at Barnes & Noble, so how is this new?

Hey, if you don't want to save $10 and see the photos for free, don't click the "Read more..." next time. Here are a few of our favorite ~~thongs~~ Miss Monthlies, beginning with June, then hitting up September, October, and December.

You can purchase the full calendar for a mere ten George Washington's, via this link, at Playboy.com.

Sloppy Seconds: Billie Jean Was Indeed My Lover?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 22:23:00 GMT

Frank Stallone-- guess who he's related to-- got a reality show based on his relation to a famous person.

Woman wins a million bucks, throws it away. End of story, right? A thoughtful clerk decides not to be greedy and gave her the ticket after discovering the oversight.

Caylee Anthony's body was found four months ago, but the police ignored the guy who kept calling to report its discovery. Too bad there isn't a caring parent around to shame these people into early retirement.

FYI: Al Franken now leads by dozen of votes, perhaps up to 250, in the endless Minnesota recount, with thousands of absentee ballots still to come.

The porn industry has been hit (hard) by the recession. [NSFW link!]

Billie Jean is Michael Jackson's lover? We think this woman is completely bonkers, though amusing as hell.

Someone please explain this Facebook creep to us.

A man fined $50 by the IRS and threatened to prosecute him for a felony after he sent them the $1.50 in sales tax he owed on a store purchase.

Teachers aren't even allowed to drink on their own time anymore.

And Kim Kardashian-- another "star" who needs to go away, has a 2009 calendar.

Related:

While You Were Sleeping: The Giant Penis Show

Sloppy Seconds: Stripper Feels the Crunch

How Do You Like Your Hair Down There?

While You Were Sleeping: Khloe Kardashian Looks Weird Naked

Sexy Priest: The 2009 Calendar... From the Vatican

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 21:59:00 GMT

While we have so far been able to track down a reputable online source for the 2009 Men's Rugby calendar we wrote about the other day, perhaps this will make up for it.

Or perhaps not. Priests-- hot or not?

We're surprised Ratzinger signed off on this one, even though it isn't the least bit offensive, sacreligious, or, well, stimulating. Of course, since treating celibate religious figures as sex objects may not be in keeping with the Vatican's puritannical mindset, we're betting whoever produced these for the tiny nation's gift shop snuck the supply in under the radar...

The above twosome feature in this year's edition of the 2009 Calendario Romano, available via this e-mail address. And although this website's Scanner-worthy English describes the calendar as "the most typical souvenir from Rome," we think this is most decidedly a venture only Vatican City could have undertaken...

Today in Sweden: Teen Sex For Booze On The Rise

More Nude Rugby Calendar Dudes For The Holidays

Now Sweden Has Its Very Own Orgasm Church

"The Real World: Facebook" or Scanner Emily vs. The Mormons

More Nude Rugby Calendar Dudes For The Holidays

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 16:42:00 GMT

We'll always blog about nude rugby players and their calendars, particularly if the calendars are a charitable endeavor...

In an age when young starlets take their clothes off in a surefire attempt at jump-starting their careers, we should be ignoring them and pay more attention to people like the men of the Gloucester and Westbury-on-Severn rugby squads, both of which agreed to pose for arty black-and-white pinup shots, with no monetary or career-boosting awards whatsoever.

Check out the two photos that have been sent out to the press. The first is of a Gloucester team member named Andy Hazell (any relation to Keeley?); the second, butt shots of the Westbury boys:

We have no idea where one might be able to purchase these calendars, so if you have that info, please pass it along and we'll share it here.

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The English Are Still Too Prudish To Appreciate Nudity

UPDATE: Alain Baxter's Nude Calendar Artier Than We Expected

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 19:56:00 GMT

Back in August, we posted a story about Alain Baxter, the Olympic skier who was stripped of his medal after what we considered an innocent mistake.

In that post, we noted Baxter was working on a topless wall calendar and we promised to share it with you if it turned out to be halfway decent. Well, from what we've seen so far, it will far exceed our erotic expectations...

Here's the cover of the calendar... and a link to its excellent photographs. (By the way, in case you've forgotten, all proceeds go toward Baxter's training for the 2010 Olympics, for which he will attempt an unprecedented comeback.)

UPDATE: Alain writes in:

sorry for the delay in getting back to you, i am in austria training at the moment and i dont have all the shots with me, will this one do for just now? i dont know if it's big enough or not...

Well, Alain, the ladies here seem to agree it is indeed "big enough." See the added photo, below, for yourself:

Here's a preview of the rest.

Related:

Olympian Alain Baxter Trying To Get Himself More, Um, Exposure

MyZombiePinup: Get Ready For Halloween '09

Naked Women of Curling... 2008!

Nude Photo Book Just Made Famous French Actress A Lot More Famous

MyZombiePinup: Get Ready For Halloween '09

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 15:16:00 GMT

Halloween is Scanner's favorite day of the year (and that includes our own birthdays.) Anything that involves 10/31 gets our attention... especially if it involves scantily-clad ~~humans~~ zombies cavorting for a raunchy wall calendar.

Of course, where there's zombies, blood, corpses, and carnage can't be too far behind...

My Zombie Pinup (tagline "where beauty meets brains") has unleashed its 2009 Calendar on an unsuspecting public, just in time to cash in on All Hallow's Eve. The 13-month calendar features "vintage" style shots of models cavorting around San Francisco's Golden Gate Park, all covered in blood, wounds, and pieces of their victims.

Warning: if that doesn't sound like something you'd enjoy on a Monday morning at work or if you are of the opinion that girls covered in blood is degrading, you might not want to...

...scroll down...

The calendar is available here for about $15.

Related:

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Scanner Roundtable: Our Favorite Horror Movie Stars

Happy Halloween! Buy Us Shoes!

Happy Halloween! Your 10-Year-Old Is Showing Cleavage.

Naked Women of Curling... 2008!

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 18:26:00 GMT

Can you believe it's been three years since photographer Ana Arce founded the Women of Curling calendar and caused millions around the world to sit up and exclaim, "Wait, what the hell is curling again?"

Now Arce is back, with what, based on these exclusive snaps, promises to be her best year ever...

First, we present you the photographer herself, who is a Spanish curler and may have been our Crush of the Week if that alleged hacker hadn't stolen Scanner Emily's heart...

...followed by a few favorites from the past and present calendars...

On the safe for work end, we particularly enjoy this mermaid... and less sfw, this tree dweller.

You can check out all of the models at Arce's page announcing the calendar. Her press release states that the 2009 fundraiser edition, entitled Fire On Ice, is available now via Curling News... and, best of all, it's a whopping 36 months long...

All photos by Ana Arce.

Motorcycle Party Features Screaming Orgasm Contest, Rampant Nudity

Posing Nude For Fun Or Charity

Pervy Ex-Teacher In Ohio Gets Off... With Probation

"I Seem To Have Forgotten To Bathe For Two Days"

The Naked Lady Rides Again In Oregon

Today in WTF: Virtual Boob Groping

Male Mormon Missionaries Go Topless For The Hell Of It

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 15:02:00 GMT

Shocking-- men without their shirts on? And in the 21st Century? This is unprecedented, and certainly far to risque for a wall calendar... my God, what's next, Mormon Missionaries topless on a wall calendar?

That pretty much sums up the typical reaction of members of the Mormon church to Chad Hardy (with a name like that, can gay porn be far behind?), who is about to launch the second smash edition of "Men on A Mission 2009: Mormons Mxposed," which is apparently some sort of pun...

"It's progressive because they are daring to step outside of stereotype and an image that so many people hide behind."

Hardy says he's stepping up against the Mormon church. He says church leaders have asked him to stop production of the provocative pics.

Hardy says no can do -- he has business partners who are not of the Mormon faith.

Hardy, who is a sixth-generation Mormon, was banished from the faith on Sunday (how fitting), but appears unfazed by the insult. Certainly the third edition could then feature-- gasp-- almost naked dudes? Naw, we'll probably have to wait another hundred years for something of that magnitude...

More photos here, while the full story is here, via AZ Family.

Hotties For... Ron Paul?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 17:50:00 GMT

Despite the fact that the Ron Paul "Revolution" passed us by many a week ago, the Hotties4RonPaul calendar is still the hot and happening item in sexual politics.

Here are some more teases from the website and the LA Times story:

Juliet Annerino, the founder of hotties4ronpaul, is second from right, violating the American flag so, so erotically.

[Thanks to Madeline Holler at Political Nanny.]

"It's Trannylicious!" The Amanda Lepore 2008 Calendar

Emily Farris — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 17:58:00 GMT

Now we can have all the tranny icon Amanda Lepore we want, anywhere we please, any day of the year — well, the year 2008, that is. S/he's just completed her first calendar, and in the words of her publicist, "it's Trannylicious!" But hurry, they've only printed 1,000 so get yours now.

More ~~nipples~~ images from the calendar after the jump.