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George W. Bush Attacks Our Vaginas

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 18:11:00 GMT

Gore Vidal predicted more than five years ago that George W. Bush would leave office the most hated President in history, and he was unfortunately right. (We would've been satisfied if Bush had simply been voted out in 2004 by any margin.) And it seems George is more than happy to accommodate this prophecy, regarding his legacy as little more than a few good days and some more money for his ultra-rich friends.

With his latest move, W. has now made it easier for you to be denied contraception...

Bush has now imposed a 127-page rule preventing any health care provider from being fired for refusing a patient medical care on religious grounds. Well, that's just great-- a rule that's supposed to let doctors and nurses avoid participating in abortions (hey, dumbass-- there's already a law for that, so that's not what this is about!) is actually a rule that will allow providers to avoid giving women access to contraceptives, ostensibly to keep them from having gay premarital ass sex... or something.

We all know what this is really about:

1) Preventing people from obtaining the pill from pharmacies

2) Preventing lesbians from conceiving

3) Preventing rape victims and others from receiving the morning after pill

4) Preventing women in danger of dying in childbirth from having abortions... and on and on and on.

If doctors are allowed to refuse to do anything "morally objectionable," does this mean a doctor could refuse to treat a gay man who has been the victim of an attack?

Barack Obama, are you reading this? What are you going to do, on your first day in office, after signing the bailout? We hope it's shooting down this order before it has time to do any real damage...

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Controversial "Courting Condi" Cancelled By Cronies

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 14:54:00 GMT

The 2008 election year may have ended, but Bush & Co. aren't splayed out on the front steps of 1600 Pennsylvania, waiting for the Obamas to roll in.

Condoleezza Rice, for one, hasn't resorted to phoning it in. She shows up for work every day in classy Saks, brushes the Katrina victims aside, and strides through the front gate to the White House, where her boss, her hero, awaits with a non-alcoholic beer and a bag of pretzels. Together, they are Nixon and Kissinger, circa 1974, with the fireplace ablaze and the rocks in a glass of whiskey clattering back and forth, hashing out their escape plan.

Part of that plan is to ensure their legacy and making sure, for starters, that any revealing documentary films are dead in the water before they're even released...

We're not sure we buy the filmmakers claim that Karl Rove asked the Discovery Company to rescind its promise to fund the film or that the State Department had their hotel rooms bugged, but it may be true friends of or even Condoleezza Rice herself asked that Stanford University cancel an advance screening of "Courting Condi," a documentary following an actor-musician's quest to at least go on a date with Madame Secretary.

The Stanford Film Society (SFS) today cancelled a screening of a controversial documentary about Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, and a debate on whether Stanford University should welcome her back to its faculty when she leaves office in 2009.

The film’s director, Sebastian Doggart stated: “This has all the hallmarks of Rice’s cronies scaring the Stanford Film Society into pulling the screening.”

The movie, Courting Condi, is a documentary about Condoleezza Rice, charting her life and career from her birth in Alabama, through her time as Provost at Stanford, to her tenure as Secretary of State. Contributors include close friends of Rice, her top biographers Marcus Mabry and Glenn Kessler, and senior Republican politicians such as Brent Scowcroft and Lawrence Wilkerson... [it] is due for general release in February 2009.

We'd like to add that the film also co-stars Adrian Grenier and Steve Earle's music, plus its lead by the kid (now grown) who played Macaulay Culkin's demented brother in Home Alone.

The SFS at first offered no explanation for the cancelation; after some prying, the President claimed a Professor had asked to use the space and his agenda took priority. But the SFS added that they didn't think the post-screening debate would be balanced and that that fear factored in their decision. Doggart chalks all this up to a, well, not-so-vast right-wing conspiracy:

“Our documentary has seen these tactics of obstruction and intimidation before,” Doggart states. “Eighteen months ago, Discovery committed to financing $600,000 for the movie. One week before shooting, they pulled out. We subsequently learned that Karl Rove found out about the deal and advised the CEO of Discovery it would be bad for their ‘good relations with government’ to proceed. Discovery pulled out the next day, leading to legal wrangling and a final settlement of a $150,000 ‘kill loan’ from Discovery, and forcing us to make the film on a shoestring.”
Doggart continues: “The obstructive measures got worse. Her supporters did all they could to stop us securing archive materials of Rice’s time at both Denver University and Stanford. And then her agents raided our inn when we were filming in Washington DC.”

Here's the film's trailer. Tell me-- is this a documentary or more likely a mockumentary?

Via Courting Condi.

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The War On Sex Rages On...

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 20:30:00 GMT

The War on Sex in this country has never been at more of a fever pitch. Church signs damn lesbians as hellbound. An accidental visit to a website that contains child pornography lands you in trouble with the law. A teacher is jailed, not without cause, for sleeping with a student of legal age. And on and on.

This week, we interview author/sex therapist Dr. Marty Klein, PhD about the State of the War on Sex, what we can expect under a McCain-Palin administration, and how we can win the war...

First, you're a sex therapist. You wrote a book called The War On Sex. In these troubling sexual times, how are you able to have a regular sex life? The people that must come in, with their problems...

Well, I can say this... Every good sex therapist communicates with his or her partner and every good sex therapist knows what they like erotically and is not afraid to communicate it and hopefully enjoys the satisfying consequences.

You say the War on Sex is different than your typical culture war. Can you elaborate on that?

The term culture war implies that there are two sides, like the North and South back in 1861. The truth is is that the War on Sex is really not two sides, equally equipped with opposite agendas. On one side, you have a group of people who just want to be left alone and not force other people to go to nude beaches or have abortions or anything like that. On the other side, you have decency groups... and local, state, and federal government... they not only have their own private agenda, they make it a public one when they tell people how they want them to live. The latest example of this is Sarah Palin: it's not enough that she doesn't want her children to read certain books, she wants to prevent other people in the community from reading those books by removing them from a public library...

Another example is the government in Phoenix, Arizona... even though none of the members of the government had ever gone to any strip clubs and no one had ever complained, they felt that they had to shut them down. The problem isn't too much government, it's the government pursuing a moralistic agenda.

Do the conservatives want to bring us back to the sort-of Puritan era?

You know, it's really unsettling to hear people say we need the government to roll back the rights we've been accumulating over the last century. It's unsettling to hear people say, "All social problems can be traced back to sexuality." Or that sexuality needs to be somehow repressed. There's no data that says our social problems can be traced back to "sex."

You say in your introduction that some people "hate sex." What do you mean by that?

If you listen to some of these groups, like the person Bush asked to run the FDA, you would think that people need to be protected from their own sexuality, that adults need to be prevented from making choices... because those choices might be harmful to those adults. These people tell kids that sex can make them sterile, that sex can make them suicidal, sex is a toxic substance they need to keep away from. And that's just an awful training for young people.

What made you decide to write this book? Was there a final straw?

[Laughs] Well, I've been feeling that way for a while. Anyone who does this kind of counseling is inundated with the shame from people about their own sexuality and the sexuality of their partner. And then watching the Bush Administration dismantle, particularly our rights around reproductive health services and watching the Bush Administration fund religious institutions that were discriminating against sexual minorities and training young people to fear their sexuality, that was a real motivator...

It's just become clear to me that the level of misinformation in the culture about sexuality is no coincidence. It's the result of years of careful programming and massive funding... the kinds of things that make Europeans shake their heads and say, "What's up with those Americans?" Because they do-- they think that about us, and they're right. It's no coincidence all this is going on.

Until this book, no one made the case that it's all connected. The fight against gay rights, the fight against strip clubs, it's all connected: the money and the power is all connected.

You say in the book that the American people can win the War On Sex. How will we win it and how will we know we've won?

Well, I don't think there's going to be a day on which we decide we've won. Basically, it ends when the government decides that it's going to treat privacy issues regarding sexuality that same way it treats other private behavior. Which is that, "We don't care what you do, as long as you don't burn down somebody's house while you're doing it..."

Dr. Klein's book and website here.

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Sex Writer On "Obscene" Website Sentenced To Home Detention

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 16:38:00 GMT

A woman whose website, Red Rose Stories, was shuttered three years ago by the Feds, pleaded guilty yesterday to obscenity charges and received a long term of probation plus six months of home confinement.

Wait, fiftysomething years after Howl and Naked Lunch, they're still busting people for "obscenity," particularly on the internet? We had to find out just what the site could have presented that could get its owner in so much trouble...

Karen Fletcher is the owner of Red Rose Stories. She's a 56-year-old Pennsylvania woman who happens to live in the district covered by crusading US attorney Mary Beth Buchanan, a staple of the Alberto Gonzales/George W. Bush Justice Department and her website contained

stories that allegedly involved bestiality, water sports, scat, bondage and domination, S&M, slavery, threesomes, orgies and sex with children.

Note that not one of Fletcher's pages featured photos of any kind, nor did the site explicitly encourage real-life encounters with children. After her arrest, Fletcher quipped that, to her, it seemed "the only legal sex stories are those that involve a man and a woman consenting to missionary position sex in a dark room.”

Buchanan "has gone on a rampage trying to stamp out expression that doesn't meet her standards of morality," Marc John Randazza, a law professor at the Barry University School of Law in Orlando, wrote on his blog.
Randazza, who teaches about free speech rights and other legal issues, acknowledges that the content of Red Rose Stories was shocking, but he suggested the U.S. Constitution protects fictional stories. "If you believe in the Constitution, and you believe in what this country means, you can NOT believe that any American should ever face prison for writing fiction -- no matter what the subject matter of that fiction might be," he wrote in a blog post.

What do you think? Was Fletcher a fool for writing about child sex and enjoying it?

Via Anarchist Librarians and PC World.

Today in WTF: Waterboarding Ride At Coney Island

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 17:08:00 GMT

Would you take the "Waterboarding Thrill Ride" at Coney? What about if we gave you a dollar? What if we gave you two dollars?

Not to worry (unless of course your skin is "nonwhite" and you are, for any reason, in any foreign country), you will never actually have to be subjected to what we now refer to as the Christopher Hitchens treatment. This is one "ride" that humans will never have to take...

"Waterboard Thrill Ride" beckons a sign along with cartoon character "SpongeBob SquarePants" who appears tied down and exclaiming: "It don't Gitmo better!"

The public can peek through window bars and feed a dollar into the slot to bring the robotic dolls into action...

All right, not a terrible idea for a protest, but we'll stick to the Cyclone and "Harold and Kumar": Gitmo's just a little too scary to witness, even with machines in place of what could easily be any of us...

Marion Tracey, 57, from New Jersey, said she found the installation disturbing. It made her think of her father who had nightmares after returning from World War II. "In all wars, horrible things happen," she said. "I'd rather not see it."

Alex Soto, 23, said he thought it was a good thing for people to learn about waterboarding, but he added: "It is pretty twisted."

Thanks, Mr. Understatement. Via Reuters.

This Week In Gayness: Post-Coming Out

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 19:27:00 GMT

The Tampa Tribune kinda called John McCain out on that phony "states rights" cover story.

Following a mere procedural vote in each chamber of government and the signature of Governor Patrick, Massachusetts will soon allow out-of-state gays to be married there.

Is Katy Perry a friend... or foe... of the gays?

It's funny, "I kissed a girl" is pro experimentation.

Yet, "You're so gay" is offensive. I get it, it is supposed to be funny and aimed probably at a homophobic boyfriend, but it's still using "gay" as a derogatory term without thought to it's more general impact. I think it's more careless, than intentionally hurtful.

Join the discussion here, a discussion in which at least most parties agree she is a talentless hack.

We're already boycotting the Paris Hilton on principle alone, so why not snub the Manchester Hyatt?

Boycotts are older than the nation itself, but during the past decade, they've become the weapon of choice for conservative Christians engaged in the nation's raging culture wars.

They've used the boycott to try to inflict economic damage against corporate giants that they believe are becoming too cozy with the gay and lesbian community, including Ford, Disney and McDonald's.
Now gay rights groups and their union allies are trying to turn the tables by targeting the Manchester Grand Hyatt and the Grand Del Mar because the hotels' owner, Doug Manchester, gave $125,000 to Proposition 8, a November ballot measure that would ban same-sex marriage in California.

A new report reveal the Justice Department, under Bush lackey Alberto Gonzales, discriminated against gays and especially Democrats.

A Pennyslvania judge struck down a new hate crimes bill.

Headline of the week: Principal Comes Out To His Students And His Bosses Are Fine With It

About.com features a story about overcoming the post-coming-out blues.

Previously:

This Week In Gayness: My Boyfriend Won't Put Out

This Week In Gayness: Lesbians Pick The Sexiest Woman Over 50

This Week in Gayness: McDonald's Makes Jesus Cry?

This Week in Gayness: Virginia Accidentally Marries Gay Men

This Week In Gayness: Lesbians Pick The Sexiest Woman Over 50

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 14:30:00 GMT

Somehow not #1, Susan Sarandon...

According to a poll of British lesbians, the sexiest woman over fifty is...

...Dame Helen Mirren, who is still hotter than a solar flare the age of 62. Mirren is followed by Susan Sarandon (61 yrs), Meryl Streep (59 yrs), Goldie Hawn (62 yrs), Dolly Parton (62), and Joan Collins (75.)

In the most disgusting story to come out of the death of Jesse Helms, Senator Elizabeth Dole, who is in a fierce battle for re-election, tried to change the name of an AIDS funding bill to include Senator Helms in the title. If you don't know why this is offensive, here's a hint: it would be like naming a bill that protects detainee rights after Alberto Gonzales.

(By the way, we were just reminded of this video, from back in 1990, of gay activists "condomizing" Jesse's house.)

John McCain avoided answering a question from the New York Times as to whether he believed an orphanage was actually better for a kid than gay parents.

Massachusetts just voted to overturn a law banning out-of-state couples from marrying there. There's sure to be a surprise JetBlue sale to Boston this weekend...

And it was announced that on July 23, the House of Representatives will revisit "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," complete with lesbian military women testimony.

Admiral in Bush Administration Had Affair In White House Basement

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 13 May 2008 17:37:00 GMT

His name, seriously, is Vice Admiral John Stufflebeem. And boy, did he stuff his beam in an early-20s woman in his White House basement love nest...

The juicy/repulsive highlights:

1) It appears a bitter rival on the same career path (or maybe the scorned wom[e]n involved were upset and) came after him. According to USA Today:

an anonymous letter revealed an 18-year-old secret that Stufflebeem thought was long buried and forgotten. The letter accused Stufflebeem of carrying on an eight-month affair with a female State Department staffer while the two were assigned to the White House in 1990.

2) While still living with his wife, who remained oblivious (it seems) to the whole affair, the "37-year-old commander pretended to be a widower, telling the woman that his wife had died of breast cancer and that he was raising his two children on his own, according to the Inspector General's report."

3) Stufflebeem got it on with the unnamed female, who worked for the State Department, "in the White House basement and when the two traveled abroad with the White House travel team. The two engaged in 'passionate kissing' in a car parked near the White House grounds, and he even sexually propositioned the woman's close friend on a trip to London, the report says." Let it never be said the Clinton Administration had more sex in those hallowed halls-- hey, this guy actually got laid in the White House, unlike some former Presidents.

4) On top of all that, the poor woman had to find out he was married from other employees. How embarrassing would that be? You think you're top of the world, baby, just out of college and getting bonked in the fucking White House, then all of a sudden, some dudes you work with say: "What? He told you he's wearing his wedding ring so his kids believe mommy isn't dead? Well, the kids are right-- she ain't fuckin' dead."

5) The affair eventually came to light within the White House hierarchy (Bush 1 knew!), it wasn't until the anonymous letter back in January that Stufflebeem's full story came out and he was completely sacked. The "Boomer" (no, it wasn't a Bush, Sr. nicknname, but a Detroit Lions one) lied to investigators, it is alleged, telling them it was only a chaste "kiss" and that he couldn't even remember the woman's name. Somehow, the whole thing blew over... until now...

Enjoy more sordid details at USA Today.com. (That's probably the only time in history that sentence has ever been uttered.)

Caption This: Bush at Graduation

Emily Farris — Mon, 05 May 2008 14:50:00 GMT

[Image via CNN]

Bush Obsessed With Waving His Magic Wand

Katie Halper — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:15:00 GMT

President Bush is displaying classic signs of ~~penis envy~~ magic wand envy. When asked about the rising price of gasoline at a press conference on Thursday, the President referred to his magic wand three times, saying "if there was a magic wand to wave, I’d be waving it, of course.... I think that if there was a magic wand, and say, okay, drop price, I’d do that. … But there is no magic wand to wave right now." Video after the jump.

Bush's obsession with waving his own wand is deep rooted and his belief that his magic wand would make him more potent can be traced back to 2005 when he exclaimed "I wish I could simply wave a magic wand and lower gas prices tomorrow; I’d do that." A year later, Bush said, "I wish I could just wave a magic wand and lower the price at the pump; I’d do that.” Conversely, when Bush's wand is present and displayed in a codpiece, as is the case when Bush wears his Mission Accomplished costume (shown above), the President displays confidence and comfort.

Anecdotal evidence suggests that Bush's magic wand envy may be endemic to the Bush Administration. Energy Secretary Samuel Bodman, for example, acknowledged the President's magic wand envy: "let me assure you that if the President had a magic wand that could lower prices, he would do it!” And Bodman seems to have caught his own case of wand envy: "I wish there was a magic wand that I could wave that would lower gas prices. But I can’t."

"Answer Her F**king Question!"

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 18:44:00 GMT

Do you hate the Bush Administration? Do you enjoy watching war criminals squirm?

Then you'll really love the New Anonymous Hero, who went toe-to-toe with Walking Evil...

Elsinora: ..."the victim was bound or otherwise secured in a prone position; and water was forced through his mouth and nostrils into his lungs and stomach." One man, Yukio Asano, was sentenced to fifteen years hard labor by the allies for waterboarding American troops to obtain information. Since Yukio Asano was trying to get information to help defend his country--exactly what you, Mr. Ashcroft, say is acceptible for Americans to do--do you believe that his sentence was unjust? (boisterous applause and shouts of "Good question!")

ASHCROFT: (angrily) Now, listen here. You're comparing apples and oranges, apples and oranges. We don't do anything like what you described.

Elsinora: I'm sorry, I was under the impression that we still use the method of putting a cloth over someone's face and pouring water down their throat...

ASHCROFT: (interrupting, red-faced, shouting) Pouring! Pouring! Did you hear what she said? "Putting a cloth over someone's face and pouring water on them." That's not what you said before! Read that again, what you said before!

ME: Sir, other reports of the time say...

ASHCROFT: (shouting) Read what you said before! (cries of "Answer her fucking question!" from the audience) Read it!

Ashcroft never did answer her question, preferring to storm out of the building. Not only this, but he avoided answering almost all the questions (as good Republicans are trained to do-- simply avoid debate and attack on trivial issues, such as the exact dates events occured, which have nothing to do with whether or not the US Government has authorized torture)...

For more on Daily Kossack Elsinora, a 21-year-old college student and our New Hero, check out her story and photos. You can also e-mail her your marriage proposals, congratulations, and whatnot.