Scanner : burlesque

Burlesque: the Movie

Colleen Kane — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 17:00:00 GMT

A film about burlesque called, er, Burlesque, is set to start filming next January. It's written by Steven Antin, the brother of Pussycat Dolls founder Robert Antin, and it's rumored that the star will be a first-time leading lady.

So which retro-fabulous celebrity is slated to star? It's not who Scanner readers might be hoping...

Christina Aguilera. You were thinking Dita Von Teese, weren't you? Also said to be attached to the project is pro dancer Julianne Hough, of Dancing With the Stars, who will play a pregnant showgirl.

Burlesque Star Wants To Spice Up Your Valentine's Day

About Last Night: Pictures from the Nerve and Hendrick's Gin Burlesque Party

Former Disco Dancer Shocks British TV Audiences With Latest Routine

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 16:12:00 GMT

A woman whose story reads like a 50's pulp novel survived multiple rapes, beatings from her mother, and a forced performance in a porno to become a disco dancing champion, before retiring to become a housewife. On Saturday night, she staged her second comeback on Britain's Got Talent, the Simon Cowell-run spectacle that has seen some serious competition lately.

But Fabia Cerra takes them all down, easy, in our book-- watch what happens when this polite, nervous size 20 sweetheart does after taking the stage for the live taping...

We apologize for this bootleg-quality YouTube video, but the others have embedding disabled. (You can watch the HQ version here.)

Here's what those pesky Union Jacks were covering up:

See you in the finals, Madame Cerra, although it seems some stuffy Brits won't be tuning in:

Ofcom revealed it has received 39 complaints since the programme aired while a further 40 viewers complained to ITV, according to the Telegraph.

Photos via the Daily Mail.

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Did You Miss The Sex Workers' Art Show Tour?

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 17:50:00 GMT

If you missed them this week in Virginia and North Carolina, don't fret-- we have the lowdown on the Sex Workers' Art Show's Limited 2009 Dirty South Tour...

According to the official website, tour participants included World Famous *BOB* (top) and porn star Lorelei Lee (above.) The tour's focus was on "spoken word, music, drag, burlesque, and multimedia performance art. Intelligent and hot, disturbing and hilarious, the performances offer a wide range of perspectives on sex work, from celebration of prostitutes' rights and sex-positivity to views from the darker sides of the industry."

The promoters wanted "to dispel the myth that they are anything short of artists, innovators, and geniuses!" We don't know about that last part, especially with the exclamation point, but this attitude sure garnered a lot of attention.

In Williamsburg, Virginia, this week, conservative knuckleheads meddled as usual, trying to tell college students what they should and should not see. The only thing these people know about the First Amendment is that it comes before the one with the guns.

Last year, their devotion to this divisive annual event helped get their popular president Gene Nichol ousted by fire-breathing conservatives on the Board of Visitors and the state legislature.

Nichol opposed the show on principle, yet backed his students' decision and refused to ban it from campus.
His successor, W. Taylor Reveley, has done exactly the same, yet remains unsinged.

I'm not saying it's the students' fault Nichol was forced out. The fault lies with the hypocrites who used the sex show as one more briquette to burn him at the stake. [Daily Press]

Great job, right-wingers. You ousted an honest man and had him replaced with... a guy who also slightly disagrees with your Puritanical views. It's too bad there's no such thing as hell, because... well, maybe we're getting carried away. The show seems to have been a success in spite of all this political nonsense, and we look forward to seeing it further up the east coast...

Via the Sex Workers' Art Show website.

Today in WTF: Man Has Sex with or in a Dumpster

The Best Job in the World? Carnival Body Painters

Michelle Williams Strips, Seduces, Enjoys

Dita Von Teese Ends Her Paris Show in Style

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 23:17:00 GMT

As we've mentioned previously, Dita Von Teese took Paris by blitzkreig over the past couple of weeks, wrapping up her epic burlesque run at the Crazy Horse this past Monday night.

After the jump, video, photos, and some exciting news for those who missed out...

If you're like us, you're insatiable in your quest for photos of Miss Von Teese, so here are two from recent shoots unrelated to her Paris show...

For those of you able and willing to go to, or luckily residing in, Paris, France, all is not lost, as the poets at Coldplay would say:

DUE TO OVERWHELMING RESPONSE...
DITA VON TEESE RETURNS TO THE CRAZY HORSE PARIS IN MARCH!!!

After a sell out two week run in February, the first guest star in the history of Paris' famed Crazy Horse, Dita, returns to the stage in March 2009 for a extended two week run between March 16th to 27th. The show includes new numbers, some featuring Dita with the Crazy Horse dancers.

Purchase tickets for those shows here.

Related:

Dita's New Nude Revue

How the Recession Helped Dita End Her Dry Spell

Dita Von Teese in German Playboy - the Sequel

Dita Von Teese Graces Us With These Playboy Photos

Burlesque Star Wants To Spice Up Your Valentine's Day

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 15:46:00 GMT

Unfortunately, she did not offer to come to our house for a champagne-soaked threesome, but burlesque babe Ava Garter (yuk yuk yuk) proposed the next best thing: some fashion tips to rock your Valentine's Day this year.

For a change, they're actually quite good. Usually, the best V-Day advice is something akin to "stay in, get liquored up, dim the lights, break out the massage oil, and get down to business." But as she tells the Los Angeles Times, Garter has better ideas for this Saturday night.

Here are our favorite excerpts from the interview:

[On wearing that black dress you have hidden away:] A black dress should have a back or side zipper; you wouldn't want to get into a seduction scene and tug it over your head.

It's always very sexy to go with a pretty black bra, black garter belt, black panties with a bow and a nude sheer stocking. Black is slimming, and a nude stocking makes your legs look much longer.

For the bedroom, you can use a pair of black gloves as a tool for seduction that's very cheap -- remove them very slowly, one at a time, and take as long as you like.

If you're having dinner with your boyfriend or husband for Valentine's Day, touch up your lipstick very slowly in front of him and let him watch. Eyelashes are a fetish for me.
Pasta is inexpensive, easy and really romantic [for a perfect night in.]
One of the best gifts you can give a man is the gift of you, sharing time together and letting him off the hook for buying you something--

All right, that's enough. Don't get all sappy on us, Ava...

More with Ava Garter via the LA Times.

Related:

Dita's New Nude Revue

Skull Spikes, Arm Ears and 5 Other Things We'll Never Do To Our Bodies

Nerve and Hendrick's Gin Sip in Style in San Francisco

Kim Cattrall: The Magically Naked 52-Year-Old Woman

Dita's New Nude Revue

Emily Farris — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 19:50:00 GMT

Pack a beret and pick up a smoking habit: Scanner dream girl (some want to do her some want to be her) Dita Von Teese is gearing up for a two-week nude revue at the Crazy Horse Saloon in Paris.

"I feel that Paris is a place that still appreciates its showgirls," she told Reuters in an interview before a two-week run at the celebrated Crazy Horse theater from February 1.

Von Teese, a familiar figure at the Paris couture shows, has carved a peculiar niche over the years, leading the way as burlesque has grown from simple striptease to becoming an established part of the fashion world.

Two years ago she emerged from a rhinestone-encrusted bubblebath as the first guest star at the Crazy Horse but the new show will have more specially designed numbers, including two songs she has recorded herself.

"I feel I have to raise the bar," she said.

The Crazy Horse has been a Paris institution since 1951, regularly drawing celebrities like Madonna or fashion designer Jean-Paul Gaultier to see its dancers strut the stage in little more than fluorescent wigs and strobe lights.

"I've always had a real fascination with the Crazy Horse ever since I was a teenager and I found a picture of this line of nearly nude toy soldiers standing at attention," she said, referring to the trademark parade that opens the nightly show.

"I wanted to do something more elaborate this time," she said. "Combine the Crazy Horse style with what I do which is classic American burlesque."

We think you can make reservations here. But then again, we failed French. Twice.

[Yahoo: Dita von Teese back at Paris revue]

Related:

Dita Von Teese in German Playboy - the Sequel

Making Stripteases A Cinch: Dita Von Teese Shills For Wonderbra

Dita Von Teese Graces Us With These Playboy Photos

Sloppy Seconds: Dita Von Teese's Lesbian Porno

Dita Von Teese Graces Us With These Playboy Photos

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 19:06:00 GMT

Marilyn Manson, are you reading this? What were you thinking, hombre? This woman only gets better with age....

After the jump, an exclusive-to-the-'net photo from Dita's session for Germany's Playboy... plus some classic goodness to balance things out...

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Making Stripteases A Cinch: Dita Von Teese Shills For Wonderbra

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About Last Night: Pictures from the Nerve and Hendrick's Gin Burlesque Party

Emily Farris — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 03:11:00 GMT

In case you hadn't gathered it from our slightly groggy yet not terribly hungover posts late this morning, Nerve and Hendrick's Gin threw what we're calling a crazy burlesque party (though "the best night ever" has also been thrown around) at The Box. You may recognize The Box as Chuck Bass' club on Gossip Girl and we will remember it as the place where anything we may or may not have done doesn't count. It was easy for things like that to happen when delicious cucumber and rose water infused Hendrick's cocktails were free flowing and everyone looked amazing.

After the jump: Nerve's publisher, Rufus Griscom and his wife, Alisa Volkman, World Famous Bob with photographer George Pitts, a little person with a big bottle of gin, Angie Pontani emerging from a bathtub full of Hendrick's and Scanner Emily's butt. See if you can guess which one it is; all we'll say is that Slutoween came a little early for us this year.

MORE PICTURES HERE.

All Images by Nikola Tamindzic/Home of the Vain unless otherwise noted.

Agatha Wasilewska

Also:

The New York Insider: And They Partied Like it Was 1899

Fishbowl: What Recession? Nerve Parties Like It's 1929

Scanner Brian May Not Be Posting Lolcats...

We're Still Getting It Together This Morning...

Scanner Brian May Not Be Posting Lolcats...

Emily Farris — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 16:53:00 GMT

...but when Scanner Emily is hungover from too many Hendrick's Gin cocktails to count, that's what you get.

As Scanner Brian mentioned earlier, we're all recovering from the Nerve/Hendrick's Gin crazy burlesque party at The Box on Manhattan's Lower East Side. We didn't even think we liked gin, but somehow we put back what we're sure was at least an upward of ten delightfully tasty gin cocktails. While we still try to figure out if last night actually happened, we'll leave you with this lolcat. We thought it was appropriate considering our plus one told us she woke up with her legs inside the arm holes of a thermal shirt this morning. We had red lipstick all over our face and on both arms and we even had to bring out a new bag of Hangover Corn at 7 a.m. Isn't it a damn shame that the best nights are always followed by the worst mornings?

Hopefully we'll have pictures to post soon. Until then, enjoy the cats.

Because I Don't Wanna!

I No Want Your Porn Burger

This Week In Gayness: Fauxmosexuals Ruining It For Everyone Else

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 13:49:00 GMT

There were millions of people at Rio de Janeiro's gay parade this week.

The Pin-Up Girls do burlesque for the LGBT crowd. We just want to know their tour dates and that is all:

[The Girls embrace] all different types of women. Girl on girl action, these girls make a big splash in the LGBT community. In other words, after a performance, there is not a dry seat in the house. [Lez Get Real]

The Connecticut Supreme Court's decision to legalize gay marriage pointed out the absurdity of gay marriage opponents arguing against the institution of marriage:

The majority opinion summarized their argument this way: "[T]hey asserted that the plaintiffs had failed to demonstrate that they have suffered any harm as a result of the statutory bar against same sex marriage because, under the civil union law, gay persons are entitled to all of the rights that married couples enjoy." Logic like this puts gay marriage opponents in the odd position of devaluing the institution of marriage. Marriage, they end up arguing, is nothing so special that it can't be replicated by a parallel institution--in this case, civil unions. Yet the entire point of creating civil unions is to preserve what is allegedly special about the institution of marriage. There is a pretty blatant contradiction here. [The New Republic]

Gawker wants to know if "fauxmosexuals" are ruining it for gay people? We don't have an answer for them, although we were glad to see someone else point out that Katy Perry stole her song from Jill Sobule's "I Kissed A Girl."

It's important to remember that, even after our victories in the courts, the scum are meanwhile redoubling their efforts. According to a variety of sources, "family"/morals groups have claimed victory in their boycott over the supposedly "pro-gay" McDonald's.

Keep up the good fight...

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This Week In Gayness: Discriminated By McDonald's

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Making Stripteases A Cinch: Dita Von Teese Shills For Wonderbra

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 15:59:00 GMT

"I love it when you can go about your daily business with the knowledge that you have a little secret of your own on underneath," says Dita Von Teese. But she's not talking about Victoria-- she's talking about Wonderbra, for which she has launched a new line of burlesque-ready wear...

"Lingerie shouldn't be something you just put on for your lover; you should do it for you.

"It's not about seducing men, it's about embracing womanhood."

Right-- embracing womanhood... to seduce men. Anyway, regardless of the goals of the endeavor, sales are really the goal, and sales are expected to be huge. (Unfortunately, the bras will be available September 23rd in Europe only, but surely one of you creative research types can find a way to get them mailed to you elsewhere.)

Here's something to whet your appetite further:

The bra-bottom combo features a magnetic clip, "making daring stripteases a cinch", according to Wonderbra.

Via Telegraph.

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Sloppy Seconds: Dita Von Teese's Lesbian Porno

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Video of the Day: Striptease Thursday

Move Over Lazy Young People, Persephone Lewin's Day Puts Yours To Shame

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 18:38:00 GMT

Persephone Lewin, who is somewhere in the neighborhood of 45, is a grandmother, solver of murders, burlesque dancer, author, comedian, yachtswoman, and YouTube sensation. We fear she'll ask us what we do with our time...

From an article in an English newspaper, we learn she is a

Yachtswoman, forensic science writer, businesswoman, mother, grandmother, musician, comedienne – oh, and burlesque artist; catch her act on YouTube...That’s her real name, by the way. Her mother was Greek so, naturally, named her daughter after a Greek goddess.

We further discover:

1) She is 4-foot-11 and has over 400 pairs of shoes

2) Lewin met her husband at a yacht club

3) She was a student at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts and has done stand-up

4) She had "her own manufacturing company (it made security fixings), [spent] ten years of raising their two children and then, something completely different, [worked in] forensic science."

5) Her husband worked for the coppers, matching up bite marks on murder victims to dental records of possible suspects. Together, their work launched a successful dual-autobiography and solved at least one murder, the strange death of a nine-year-old girl.

6) Even before all that:

She could sing, dance, play the trumpet and had a real knack for making fin de siècle costumes. At this point she hadn’t heard of burlesque, but that’s what her act became. So, complete with that penguin – now called Freddie – she took her very visual act to London, and is now a regular at Madam JoJo’s Burlesque Show in Soho.

Persephone doesn't strip so much as hint at the stripping to come later on in this clip from her act. Not to worry, your imagination should do the rest...

Via the Gazette.

Scanner Emily's Burlesque Fantasy Comes True, Sort Of

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Sloppy Seconds: Which Pop Star Might Play The Lead In The Next Tarantino Film?

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Fergie Uses Lipstick To Battle AIDS And Raging Hormones

Katie Halper — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Fergie, of The Black Eyes Peas, is using her Red Lipped Mouth to spread information about how not to spread AIDS. Her campaign involves lip stick, girl scouts gone wild, and a menage a trois with hip hop artist Eve and burlesque queen Dita Von Teese.

Cosmetics company MAC doesn't just fight fine lines-- it fights AIDS, through its MAC AIDS Fund. Joining spokeswomen Dita Von Teese and Eva, Fergie is the latest star to become use her mouth for MAC's Viva Glam lipstick line, whose proceeds go to the MAC AIDS fund. According to the MAC website, Fergie has

been both a girl scout and an out-of-control teenager admitting to a life of drugs, risky behavior and dealings with gang members. “When you’re young,” she says, “your hormones can rage out of control.” Her message to young people is responsible behavior. “Believe me,” she says, “Practice what I preach.”

A girl scout gang member with raging hormones? Sounds hot. Practice what Fergie preaches and pucker up.

LED Pasties, Just in Time for Valentine's Day

Emily Farris — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 16:28:00 GMT

We've found something to add to our burlesque act: ~~Led~~ LED Pasties.

[Gizmodo: Nothing Says "I Love You" Like LED Pasties]

Scanner Highs and Lows: We Like to Play Dress Up

Emily Farris — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 21:57:00 GMT

It's true, we like to put on high heels and feather boas and maybe, just maybe, we'll get dressed up to go to the theater.

HIghs:

We found a reason to maybe love theater again.

We voted. Did you?

Scanner Emily lived out her burlesque fantasy, and realized she does everything better in heels.

Yet another reason for us to run around in high heels.

Lows:

Bobby Tisdale learned he may be a little creepy. You know, in a good way.

LOST's Sawyer really let us down. Really.

These guys scared the hell out of all of us.

We recognized the one-year anniversary of Anna Nicole Smith's death.

[Image via risquebusiness.co.uk]

Scanner Emily's Burlesque Fantasy Comes True, Sort Of

Emily Farris — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 19:33:00 GMT

Last night, I took the first step toward making my dreams come true: I went to a burlesque class. (And no, that's not me in the picture. All of my dreams haven't come true yet).

Offered by the Learning Annex (I know) in a high school classroom, I joined 14 women ranging from their 20's to 40's for "Bedroom Burlesque." Some were there to learn to please their men, some wanted to get back in touch with their "sensual selves" and others just wanted to learn a few new moves. I fell into the last category with a side of harboring a not-so-secret burlesque fantasy for the last few years. I also almost fell over a few times. I'm one of those people who is 17 times sexier and 17 times more balanced in heels. And of course, I wore flats. This made me realize if I ever had to take a sobriety test in flats, I don't think I'd pass, even if was sober.

Anyway, the class was taught by the super-hot Veronica Varlow (pictured), and promised to help women in get in touch with their inner seductresses. I was skeptical. And a little shy at first. I'd forgotten if I ever had an inner seductress to begin with (it's been a long, cold winter). But she put feather boas on us as soon as we walked in the room and after a few minutes of shimmying to Nina Simone, we were all pretty comfortable swinging our hips, and each of us had mastered at least one move. Mine was a slow squat (to put it in the most unsexy words ever) which I went home and did about 57 times in front of the mirror. Inner seductress found, even if I was only seducing myself. But the best part was really watching 14 women transform from business casual to burlesque babes in a matter of hours.

Covered in black dye from the feather boa, I left with a pair of opera-length black gloves that I now know how to take off with my heels (when I do wear them), some new moves, and plans to attend a four-week burlesque course with Veronica in March. So watch out for Starry Night coming to a Brooklyn burlesque stage near you. You know, if I don't fall over and bust my face before that happens.

[Veronica Varlow: dangerdame.com]

Sloppy Seconds: Penis Photos, Delta Burke, Sadness After Sex and Burlesque

Emily Farris — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 21:03:00 GMT

A man in Berlin is in trouble for sending photos of his penis to random women via his camera phone. But apparently he's not in too much trouble. The judge's take: "We all had a bit of a laugh when we saw the thing."

Our favorite Designing Woman Delta Burke is in a psychiatric hospital. (You think we're joking about her being our favorite, but one year we dressed up as Delta Burke for Halloween.)

Sadness after sex is so.... sad. You're supposed to be all sweaty, and sleepy and satiated.

Scanner Emily is taking a burlesque class tonight. Or maybe she's just visiting Delta Burke in the looney bin and doesn't want to tell you. Or maybe her burlesque character is Delta Perk. Either way, full report tomorrow.