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The 50 Sexiest Movies of All-Time: 20-11

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 19:25:00 GMT

We continue our list with the Top 20 sexiest films ever made.

If you need a refresher, here are 30-21, 31-40, and 50-41.

20. Boogie Nights. Come on, you don't actually need an explanation for why this is here, do you? This film is about the 70s porn explosion and it involves Julianne Moore and Heather Graham, not to mention Burt Reynolds. For God's sake!

19. Do The Right Thing. It seems like a century has passed since Spike Lee's monumental classic Do The Right Thing landed like a meteorite and sent the nation reeling. Do you remember the time when Spike used to star in his own movies? As seen here, he was actually a decent actor and, more importantly, Rosie Perez wasn't intolerable.

18. A History of Violence. You wouldn't think a guy who made a movie about people putting VHS tapes in their vaginas would ever be able to make a movie as sexy as a History of Violence, but David Cronenberg pulls it off-- in this case, thanks entirely to the sex scene that starts 7:00 into this clip.

17. Some Like It Hot. The greatest line, the greatest ending, the funniest scene, and one of the best onscreen couples ever (Tony Curtis and Marilyn Monroe... although Jack Lemmon and Joe E. Brown are a pretty hot duo.) What more could you ask for? Scene after scene of some of the sexiest comic moments in film history would be too much, wouldn't it? But Some Like It Hot delivers, in a way that no movie has been able to since. Check out Marilyn and her, um, "Bosom Companions," in this vintage trailer.

16. Gone with the Wind. Is this movie still sexy? We saw it for the first time only a few years ago and wondered what the big deal was... right up until the concluding scene, when (SPOILERS!) Rhett doesn't give a good goddamn what you think, Scarlett. Ever since, we've tried to figure out how the hell Clark Gable got so suave and how we could even hold a candle to it. You'd do right by watching this nine-minute clip, with which the epic film concludes.

15. Unfaithful. We don't get it-- you're married to Richard Gere and you're seduced by Oliver Martinez? Is it because Gere wears glasses? That seems to be the only explanation for Diane Lane's falling for Kylie Minogue's real life beau in this surprise success from Fatal Attraction director Adrian Lyne. Either way, we don't mind this one-- especially after a twist that could have served as a much better ending for Fatal Attraction itself.

14. The Hunger. No list of sex and movies is complete with a hot vampire movie. No list of sex and movies is complete with this hot vampire movie, starring the sumptuous trio of Catherine Denueve, David Bowie, and Susan Sarandon. Succulent.

13. Out of Sight. The best part of Out of Sight wasn't the famous trunk scene (pictured above), or the scintillating presence of then-budding-star (and then-tolerable) Jennifer Lopez, or even George Clooney's breakthrough performance. Rather, it was Steven Soderberg's deft balance of action, comedy, and romance to turn a preposterous love story in a very sexy near-classic. By keeping Lopez and Clooney away from each other for most of the film, while simultaneously allowing their characters to toy with each other throughout, made for a huge breath of fresh air in 1997.

12. The More the Merrier. Jean Arthur is engaged to a real schmuck, a guy who's engaged to her but sees no need to get married. A lodger in Arthur's apartment (long story) falls in love with her and, knowing the lady is being strung along, decides to make his move. Although this scene is often named as the sexiest in movie history (the kiss itself is singled out for praise by most film critics), The More The Merrier was overshadowed by another 1943 film on our list (can you guess which one?) and has fallen into near-obscurity. Wanna help raise it from oblivion?

11. The Postman Always Rings Twice. "The whole reason for that movie is sex, and that's why I wanted to do it." - Jack Nicholson. Usually, updating a sexy classic just ends in vulgarity (Psycho, starring Vince Vaughn, anyone?) and while the almost-rape scene in David Mamet's 1982 version of the Postman Always Rings Twice could make the whole movie a turnoff for some, the steamy Depression-Era atmosphere and continuous lust-filled overtones add up to one hot flick. Here's the movie's most memorable moment:

Related:

The 50 Sexiest Movies of All-Time: 50-41

The 50 Sexiest Movies of All Time: 40-31

The 50 Sexiest Movies of All-Time: 30-21

Top 5 Sex Scenes Involving Older Lovers

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 20:55:00 GMT

5. Storytelling: one of the most unsettling sex scenes alive... but hey, it works for this list of older men and women on young folks...

4. Midnight Cowboy: maybe our favorite "funny" sex scene, this is even better when you factor in the next sequence, which involves prostitute Joe Buck getting conned for cab fare and whatnot by

3. American Beauty: not to spoil it, but there's not really any actual sex... but there might as well have been for all the pouty hotness and a buff Kevin Spacey...

2. The Graduate: we've included the long version of this sequence because the line "Are you trying to seduce me?" is even better with all the aggressive foreplay on the part of the screen's greatest MILF: Anne Bancroft.

1. Boogie Nights: this assemblage includes Heather Graham, who under normal circumstances could have a sex scene list all to herself. However, we're talking Julianne Moore here, who isn't exactly what we'd call the "older woman" when set up with Marky Mark. In this movie, though, that's exactly what they are: a sort of mother(figure)-son team of porn stars. Awww...

Honorable Mentions: Shopgirl, American Pie (see above photo), and... suggestions?

We Boiled Mena Suvari's Sex Movie Down To Its Most Watchable Moments

Top 5 Sex Scenes Involving Food

Top 5 Kate Winslet Sex Scenes

Top 10 Most Famous Penises In Human History

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 14:22:00 GMT

Pop quiz, kid... whose dick is this movie star talking about:

"He only weighs 120, but 100 pounds is cock..."

The answer, according to today's Frisky story Seven Famous Penises in History, is, of course, Frank Sinatra...

1. John Holmes... like some Madonna-lovin' the mufucka, he's diggin' tunnels...

2. Napoleon... he had a complex for a reason, people...

3. John Wayne Bobbitt... who really doesn't wanna be here...

4. David by Michelangelo... the most viewed penis... even more so than Pete Wentz's!

5. Sinatra... who, if he'd done nothing else, would have at least got to be the subject of Ava Gardner's greatest quote...

6. The Minister in "The Little Mermaid"... with his animated boner. Thanks, Disney!

7. Rasputin... maybe they couldn't kill him because of his superhuman dong...

We'd like to add three more to make it an even Top 10:

Milton Berle - a lot of people today don't remember Uncle Milty... unless they remember the name as a euphemism for something large and dangling...

Dirk Diggler - we'd have put Marky Mark, but he was wearing a prosthetic schlong in Boogie Nights...

Michael Jackson - Jacko's Johnson apparently has spots all over it that only a molested boy would know... so why did no one believe this kid when he described them exactly in a court appearance?

Oh, and one more: Jimi Hendrix and his ~~little wing~~ big thing:

Anyway, you can read the full 7 previously mentioned, with amusing stories about each, at The Frisky.

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You Asked for a Penis Poll, You Got It

Don't Miss: The Icelandic Penis Museum

Baby Born With Extra Penis, Parents Have it Removed Why?

Crush of the Week: Pete Wentz

Those Who Can, Do; Those Who Can't, Teach Porn Techniques...

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 15:10:00 GMT

In an interview today with Offsprung, porn star turned sex educator Nina Hartley discusses feminism, her weight, kids and masturbation, and how much she still loves sex...

Some highlights from the interview are below...

I try not to lie about things like [my weight.] I haven’t had a hysterectomy to remove my permanently enlarged uterus, either...
One good thing about the ever-smaller niches for porn is that there is more room than ever for a wider range of body types. Now there are ‘plumpers,’ who are bigger than the stick girls but smaller than the 200+ pounds “fat chicks” of yore.
First: my husband, who is also the writer/director of the Guides, and I love sex and have no ambivalence about what we do or what the mission objective is. Second, we hire only those who, gasp! actually like being sex performers.
As a sex-educator, I’m with you 100% on what passes for sex “education” these past few years.
Obviously, telling teens to “just say no” is useless. All the data point to the fact that abstinence-only kids have sex pretty much at the same rate as others but are less likely to use birth control or condoms and are more likely to engage in anal sex as a way to preserve “virginity.” WTF?!?!
Be very generous in how you support each other. If you don’t have the energy to fuck, can you “help” your partner by being present while he or she masturbates?
For all the sex I’ve had in my life, I continue to be surprised by it every time.

And boy, has she had it. Since graduating from nursing school (magna cum laude, mind you), Hartley has appeared in at least 400 pornos, plus her unforgettable cameo as William H. Macy's wife in Boogie Nights. Among her other accomplishments: defending the adult film industry on Oprah and this famous incident:

[S]he was arrested in 1993 in Las Vegas, along with 10 other adult stars (later known as the "Erotic Eleven"), for having performed a lesbian show at an adult video industry fundraiser; an undercover police officer was present in the audience. Threatened with six to 12 years in prison for felony lesbianism and pandering, she was eventually allowed to plead guilty to a misdemeanor.^[6]

Read more of the interview at Offsprung.

That New 70's Show: Swingtown

Emily Farris — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 14:02:00 GMT

Did anyone catch Swingtown on CBS last night? It's the new show from the director of Big Love and Rome about (you guessed it) swingers. Or, if you're anywhere near our age, it's the show that might help you figure out why you share no features with anyone on your dad's side of the family.

Set in 1976, the show follows a couple as they move from a conventional neighborhood to a far less conventional one. With Quaaludes.

Remember The Ice Storm with Kevin Kline, Joan Allen, Sigourney Weaver and a pre-pubescent Christina Ricci? This is like that, but cheesy.

Luckily, Swingtown basks in its own cheesiness (imagine slow-motion running scenes set to "Dream Weaver") so actually, it's like the illegitimate child of The Ice Storm and either That 70's Show or Boogie Nights (because, you know, they're not sure who the father is).

Island Bryan liked it, too, though he thought the music was a bit much.

Now that Lost is on break and Men in Trees is canceled, this might be our new TV obsession. Here's hoping it doesn't get canceled before the real action happens.

[Swingtown]

ABC Chopped Down Scanner Emily's Happy Tree

Hey Mom, Can I Borrow Your Lube? Mine's All Dried Up

Deep in the Heart of Texas, Swingers Make Lousy Neighbors

Recession Special: What Businesses Can Learn From Porn

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 17:18:00 GMT

Are you a small business owner? Do you like porn? If you have a pulse and therefore answered yes to either of these questions, you should check out the Dirty Writer's 10 Important Business Lessons From the Porn Industry. The article/list shows how the adult film and photo industry continues to increase its profits every year-- mainly through no-holds barred selling tactics and, um, ass. We can all learn something in these trying times:

8. Provide samples.
Provide the illusion of getting something for free. The more attractive and valuable the sample appears to be, the more interested they will be in the real product.

There's also a list of Top 10 Things To Do In A Recession, which is utterly irrelevant to the above, but worth noting for #10:

10. Catch up on your internet porn. Don't bother paying; you can waste hours a day just checking out the free stuff.

Previously: 10 Reasons The Recession Will Rock Your Love Life.