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The Flavor of Love Sex Tape

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 12 May 2009 16:54:00 GMT

Hoopz, the winner of Flava Flav's fake reality show Flavor of Love on VH-1, is open to all offers of free publicity. We haven't seen or heard from the first-season winner of that show since her 2008 triumph on another VH-1 program, I Love Money. She must be enjoying the $250K prize she took away from that little-seen competition and holing up with her boyfriend, James "Boo" Jackson, a basketball player of minor standing, in Louisville, Tennessee.

Now comes a report (and photo evidence, albeit the teasing, censored kind) that Hoopz has appeared in a sex tape with some dude, presumably Jackson, and that a nefarious character plans to release the footage on DVD any day now...

This twerp, who goes by Mr. ZZee, offered us four horribly-blacked-out photos of a woman resembling Hoopz, who is seen acting out what can only be described as "obvious porn moves." In the video excerpt (also censored), linked below, Hoopz acknowledges the camera, leaving us to wonder: was this staged for private use or, as it seems from the photos, deliberately designed to work as a full-blown porn movie, complete with the various positions seemingly required by all modern grade-Z adult films?

WARNING: Although Mr. ZZZZZZZZZ blacked-out the "naughty bits" in these graphic images, they're still not safe for work...

Here's the link to a 15-second clip-- again, it's almost unwatchable due to black-box blackouts.

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While You Were Sleeping: Sex Tape Blackmail

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 13:56:00 GMT

Spinal Tap confirmed they will play an acoustic tour that will hit Vancouver, Seattle, New York, and several other North American cities.

Eddie Murphy will finally get what he always wanted? No, not an Oscar-- it's the chance to play Richard Pryor.

Last year, we brought you the story of a man who had sex with a park bench... had his dick caught in that park bench, then went through four hours of hell as... okay, we'll stop there. Just read this Cracked list about having sex with inanimate objects.

Bartering is the new e-bay.

A guy who had sex with another man, whom he later discovered is a married father and decided to blackmail, has been sentenced to a mere four months in prison.

We were pretty sure this is a joke-- an airline considering charging passengers one euro for using the toilet-- but Strollerderby swears it ain't.

Blake Fielder-Civil's mom blames Amy Winehouse for her son's failing marriage. What about his introducing her to drugs, lady?

And Sharon Osbourne is being sued over that fight on Charm School, the only three minutes of that show anyone's ever sat through.

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Woman's Husband and Stepfather Arrested For Blackmailing Her with a Sex Tape

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 20:43:00 GMT

A woman in Silsbee, Texas is going through one helluva messy divorce. She's already engaged to another guy and, after getting drunk one night, had breakup sex with her hubby. Not long after, the woman's husband was arrested for filming that one-off sexual encounter on a hidden video camera.

And it only gets worse... and weirder...

Danielle Taylor, who prefers that her name be printed instead of "unnamed woman," would never claim to be 100% perfect. She only met her husband last January and they were already filing for divorce nine months later. On top of that, she was already engaged to another guy before 2008 was up. Then, one night, she decided to get drunk and have sex with her still-husband. But the fact that he filmed her and ultimately blackmailed her is in no way her fault.

It turns out that Taylor's stepfather had set up a video camera in the trailer where the sex took place, and the husband, Brian Bush threatened to mail the fiancee a tape of his future bride if she didn't dump the guy. Did you catch that? Her own stepfather.

Luckily, Taylor intercepted a UPS delivery of the package, but we're guessing that won't matter much to the guy who ultimately finds out about his girlfriend's extra-curricular sex life in the hometown newspaper. Anyway, the husband and the stepfather were both arrested on improper photography charges. They each face up to 24 months in prison...

...however... Taylor pointed out that her (ex-)husband did call her to apologize for sending the tape and warned her to catch the mail before her fiancee saw it. Also, Taylor told a reporter that her "father" is too old for prison life. You can read more about the case at this link.

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Enterprising Teenager Amasses Collection of Solicited Nude Photos

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 14:44:00 GMT

If you were to read only that headline, you would be forgiven for mistaking this tale for one of those "heartwarming" Good Morning America segments about the teens that turn their jewelery hobbies into multimillion-dollar online businesses.

Unfortunately, that's decidedly not the case with this creepy story...

According to a local AP report out of the Milwaukee, Wisconsin area, an eighteen-year-old boy named Anthony Stanci is in cuffs today, charged with "five counts of child enticement, two counts of second-degree sexual assault of a child, two counts of third-degree sexual assault, possession of child pornography, repeated sexual assault of the same child, and making a bomb threat."

And what did he do, except for that last charge, to warrant such a rap? He started a Facebook account and pretended to be a hot teenage girl, then got more than 30 (that is, 30 known) male victims to send him nude photos of themselves. When they did so, he stayed in character and threatened to take the pics to the proper adults-- and/or forward them widely over the internet-- if they did not comply with "her" demands to see the boys have sex with another boy-- Anthony Stanci, as it turns out.

Several of the boys actually went through with it. This went on for several months, until Stanci took things too far-- he concluded this sick sexual game wasn't enough to get back at his high school, so he called in a bomb threat that shut down classes. That's when the cops decided to snoop into sicko boy's background.

The maximum penalty if convicted on all charges is nearly 300 years in prison. [AP]

Stanci is facing a very rough life in prison, regardless of the length of his sentence-- an eighteen-year-old homosexual convicted of raping boys is about the worst imaginable setup for an inmate...

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Creepy Dudes Now Using Sex Tapes To Blackmail You Into... Giving Them Nude Photos?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 18:32:00 GMT

We're guessing he grew tired of watching their sex tape. 44-year-old Steven Klig tried to blackmail his former lover, years after their liaisons, by threatening to send a DVD of their good times to her husband.

But this only grazing the surface of the story-- not only is Klig a married father of two, among the many revelations from this New York Post story: Klig sent some of his threats from Disney World, where he was on vacation with the wife and kids; Klig didn't want hush money. No, what he wanted was totally bizarre...

He wanted five photos of his victim, several of which wouldn't even feature her in a state of undress. Nonetheless, the woman refused and got the Federales involved:

The next day, an agent posing as the woman wrote Klig back, asking what he wanted and pleading, "I want to keep my family out of this."

He allegedly responded, "I don't need money. What I really want is something new to look at."
Klig then allegedly detailed his preferences for the "first installment" as: "(1) fully clothed; (2) without your shirt; (3) without your shirt and pants (in just a bra and panties); (4) without the bra and (5) fully nude."

He wanted to keep his family out of this? Well, even if she hadn't gone to the cops, she could have probably exacted revenge by making sure his family was entirely in the loop. But we don't condone that kind of behavior... do we?

Photo: A Fruity Affair

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Vegas Is Boring, So Thank God Atlantic City's Still Sleazy...

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 15:46:00 GMT

Have you heard about the insanity that's going on in Atlantic City?

And no, we don't mean the usual drug-related shootings, OD'ing schoolkids, or half a dozen brothels being raided. We're talking about the City Council corruption scandal, which is finally over, having exposed ministers getting blow jobs from prostitutes, backroom deals, and entire families going down in an amusing public bonfire...

Here are the facts:

A Baptist minister was secretly filmed getting a blow job on a hotel room's hidden camera (which was inside a clock radio, creepily enough.) It turned out the minister was City Council member Eugene Robinson and it quickly became apparent that he was being set up for blackmail by the Council's President, Craig Calloway, who apparently didn't have enough power at #1. Even more strange: Calloway was busted by a DJ who received a copy of the tape from a man wearing something of a Mr. Potato Head getup: ridiculous glasses, fake facial hair, and protective gloves.

Now Calloway has been convicted of corruption and a conspiracy that involved two of his brothers, and will serve three years in a Federal prison. Meanwhile, the city is suffering financially as even casinos can't make a profit in these trying times. It also doesn't help that the most recent ex-mayor of A.C. famously went AWOL last year, resurfacing only to admit to a painkiller addiction and resigning.

In other words, if you miss the 70's Las Vegas and its pre-legalized prostitution underworld, buses leave for Atlantic City leave every 15 minutes from New York's Port Authority...

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Germany's Richest Woman Blackmailed With Own Sex Tape

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 17:34:00 GMT

You're the country's richest woman. You fear home invasion, kidnapping, extortion, and those pesky poor people with their hands out.

What you probably don't do is worry about getting blackmailed over your own sex tape. Unless, of course, you're this woman...

German police have been working on a case involving Susanne Klatten, Germany's 46-year-old female billionaire, and have arrested two men: Klatten's alleged lover and a friend of his, a hotel owner who filmed sexual trysts in his establishment. The duo hoped to received 40 million euros, but had to settle for 7.5 million from Klatten. Klatten, who helped foil her own kidnapping at the age of 16, was already talking to the cops.

Klatten, who holds a large stake in automaker BMW and Altana speciality chemical company, allegedly paid 7.5 million euros to a Swiss Helg Sgarbi to stop him from publishing compromising photos and videos of the couple's relationship, the German tabloid Bild am Sonntag reported.

The 41-year-old suspect was taken into custody by German authorities some weeks ago, Schmidt-Sommerfeld said.

The heiress to the Quandt family fortune and mother of three children "filed a complaint for fraud and blackmail in January 2008 with a Munich court," he added. Klatten has a personal fortune of 7.8 billion euros, according to German's Manager Magazine.

7.8 billion euros? That's like 40 trillion American or six Michael Bloombergs, right?

Seriously, we think we know why Klatten was embarrassed about this sex tape going public: she's "happily" married. Our guess is that she paid the hush money more so her husband wouldn't find out about the affair than any other public humiliation it could cause. The fact that she went to the police may only mean that she still hoped the media wouldn't find out about the whole incident.

Nice try.

Via Euro News.

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Mom Sent 12,000+ Texts To Her Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend... Then Tried To Blackmail Him

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 15:45:00 GMT

Yes, we pretty much summed this one up in the headline... but you know there are thousands of these a day and if we're printing it, you know there's a lot of devil in these details...

An unnamed Illinois woman is being investigated for harassment, child pornography, and blackmail after her daughter's ex-boyfriend's family contacted the police. Wait till you a) find out what the unnamed woman does for a living and b) how old these kids are...

1) Police seized computers and cell phones from the woman's Elgin, Illinois home and her place of business. (We'll get to that momentarily.)

2) Police claim the woman sent approximately 12,302 text messages-- wait, how did they count them all?!-- just in the first seven months of the year to her daughter's ex-boyfriend. The boy's family waited all the way until August before contacting the cops. W... T... F?

3) When the harassment didn't work, the woman and her son, defending his sister's honor, threatened to release nude photos of they boy on the internet if he didn't see the dumpee "twice a week."

4) The strong-willed ex-boyfriend's age? A whopping thirteen-years-old. It takes some serious self-determination to not cave to that kind of harassment and blackmail, especially since it took so long to go to the police. (Either this girl was insane herself or this guy is our new personal breakup hero for his determination.)

5) Here's the best part. As the Chicago Tribune article reveals at its conclusion:

On Sept. 23, the woman left a message warning the boy she would "send the pictures and video of him to his teacher and minister to show them he is not a nice person," the search warrant stated.

Oh, and this mother's job at the school? She's a teacher.

God, we love Chicago.

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Does Madonna Have A Sex Tape And Do We Want To See It?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 12:50:00 GMT

An anonymous, beautiful stranger is blackmailing Madonna for one million English pounds. This stranger, who is purportedly a cameraman, told The Daily Star he is the proud owner of Madonna's new amateur sex tape...

But if "it takes two," and all these rumors swirling about affairs and whatnot, we want to know: who's the one going at it with her?

A cameraman is reportedly demanding £1million for ownership of video footage he claims he owns, which features Madonna and baseball player Alex Rodriguez having sex.

According to the Daily Star the unnamed cameraman is claiming that the footage was shot in an apartment allegedly used by the pair for what the newspaper calls "afternoon trysts".

Madonna's lawyers said that they were "aware" of the claims but refused to comment further.

Is Madonna so vain that she had to have a camera operator on her sex tape? Girl, just set up a camera on the nightstand, turn it on yourself, and for God's sake, leave the night vision off, okay?

The Times of India, meanwhile, seems to think the man somehow happened to burglarize the apartment, with a camera in tow, at just the right moment. While it's possible this is some neighbor who heard them going at it and slipped in to capture a few moments, it strikes as more likely this is the message Madonna wants out there to scare the guy into thinking he'll be prosecuted if he tries to go public with the tape.

Via NME and the Times of India.

Roger Clemens Has A Rocket In His Pocket

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:20:00 GMT

We're supposed to be on vacation this week, but there are too many scandals to ignore. Roger Clemens has been a party to two-- count 'em, TWO!-- in the past 72 hours alone.

According to several major media outlets, beginning with the New York Daily News, Clemens had an affair with golfer John Daly's ex-wife, apparently sometime about ten years ago. The man is like Bill Clinton on ecstasy-- he's just having a great ol' time cheating on his wife at every opportunity.

And let's not forget the highlights from the Clemens-future awful reality show star Mindy McCready story:

1) McCready, a country singer who has been to jail twice in the last few years and is a notorious heavy drinker, began sleeping with Clemens-- allegedly, we are made to say-- at the age of 15.

2) Other sources say they only "went to a hotel together" when she was fifteen and that the relationship began much later, after McCready became a country star. Yeah, we don't buy that either. "Maybe he 'misremembered' what he was doing in those hotel rooms," jokes a reader of USA Today, referring to the infamous and ill-advised testimony Clemens gave to Congress recently.

3) Clemens may have tried to buy McCready's silence with a cool $25,000. Or he could've been, as his spokesperson says, just been "trying to help her out with her legal issues." More like his legal issues-- after all, he's the one who's suing his former personal trainer and righthand man for "defamation of character." Keeping Mindy quiet keeps his case from falling apart in court.

4) McCready's only statement: "I cannot refute anything in the story," which roughly translates to the English words "hell yes."

Via the Chicago Tribune.

Another Intern Scandal: Will New York Never Learn From Bill Clinton's Mistakes?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 16:00:00 GMT

We're blogging from the wilderness in Connecticut today, where apparently no one has heard of wireless internet. (We got some funny looks from the neighbors who still think cell phone users are all terrorists trying to set off atomic bombs.) They've also obviously never heard of The Law of Bill Clinton out here-- or in New York: if you're a politician with a penis, and you use that penis, you will end up being made fun of on the internet.

New York and Connecticut, neighbors and fellow travelers in lechery, are racking up the perv exposures:

1) While investigating municipal corruption, the FBI discovered phone records and pictures of [Waterbury, CT Mayor Vincent] Giordano with a prostitute named Guitana Jones, as well as with her 10-year-old niece and her 8-year-old daughter. He was arrested on July 26, 2001 and, in March 2003, was convicted of 14 counts of using an interstate device, his cell phone, to arrange sexual contact with children. He was also convicted of violating the girls' civil rights. He was sentenced to 37 years in prison. In July 2007 his motion to reduce this sentence was denied by a federal judge. [Wikipedia]

2) Up until just a few years ago, New York legislators would go "window shopping" for interns at the start of every legislative session. The eager young people would be corralled at a newsstand so legislators could pick their help based on looks, not resumes. A former district attorney in Albany says that unfortunately, many of the people who seek public office "are flawed people to begin with." (Canadian Press)

No wonder we didn't get that political job we've been groveling for: we, ridiculous as it may sound, thought our record of experience would inevitably carry us all the way to the Big House. (Yeah, even we've begun to sound like the broken Hillary Clinton record.)

3) Match the state to its legislator's foul misdeed! a) Colorado b) Washington c) Arkansas; 1) Fondled 17-year-old girl at his home 2) Allegedly made fresh remarks and showed off his wang to a female lobbyist in a bar 3) Allegedly picked up a man at an adult book store (while he was married, to a woman), and the man tried to blackmail him. [Wonkette]

More about the lecherous statehouses of America at Wonkette.

Image via Bob From Accounting.