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Top 10 TV Nipple Slips and Wardrobe Malfunctions

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 18:59:00 GMT

You know, because Janet Jackson wasn't the first one to lose her outfit live on national television...

It's difficult to imagine, we know, but even game shows in the 60s and 70s were famous for nipple slips. Luckily, YouTube, Google Video and other online sources have managed to salvage some of the most memorable moments. They're all pretty much two seconds long, but this will make you a better future Trivial Pursuit contestant... since you know that's all that we're going to talk about in 20 years, the way our Idiocracy is going.

Here are ten in no particular order...

Ron Jeremy's High School Play Video Leaked!

Tara Reid Wishes She Was Actually Listening To What The Little People Were Yelling About

Jennifer Hawkins (the 2004 Miss Universe) Returns to Australia to Moon Her Hometown

The Match Game (okay, this is more of a "nipple slip" of the tongue, but hey... break it up a bit, ya know)

Eva Mendes Was Really Asking For It This Time

N Is For Nipples - TV Show Host Flashes Kids

Haven't Seen This Janet Jackson Nip Slip Before... Is It New?

They Let the Wrestlers Beat Up the Refs, But An Ass And Nipple Slip Is An Ejection?!

As Bob Barker Says, "She came on down and they came on out!" [sfw]

And finally, Meredith Viera pulls a Justin Timberlake on Helen Mirren:

Related:

Top 5 "The Price Is Right" Clips

Beyonce Stuns Lone Oscar Viewer With Nipple Slip

Nipplegate II: The Russian Skater Shocker

Mischa Barton Can't Keep Her Clothes On

Caption This: Agyness Deyn And Her Friend's See-Through

Fox News Enjoys Your Big Butt

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 16:36:00 GMT

Fox News in Phoenix had one of its poor, long-suffering female correspondents file a report on big butts and why they're absolutely wonderful for your health. Okay, this we gotta see...

"Right in the ol' badonk?" Dirty Diane, clearly you are obsessed. Also, apparently, big butts are what made Beyonce and J-Lo famous and there's no need to work out that much if your ass is gigantic. Thanks, Fox.

We'll never look at apples the same way.

Via MyFoxPhoenix.

Yahoo Thinks It Knows Why You Never Make It To That Second Date

Our Favorite Stripper Wants You To Be Patriotic, Drink PBR

Hot or Not: The Doodle Bra?

Beyonce Stuns Lone Oscar Viewer With Nipple Slip

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 15:39:00 GMT

You know what would have made this ten-years-too-late "tribute to the musical" dance sequence, which Beyonce apparently lip-synched her way through? A nipple slip.

In fact, we would've gone in for any nipple slip, wardrobe malfunction, or giant crotch bulge-- even Mickey Rourke's-- if it had guaranteed the show was worth three-and-a-half hours of our time. It turns out, there was a nipple slip, although every single person in the world missed it... except for one photographer...

Click on the photo for a new tab/window with the full-size picture.

Ah... we were wondering why Hugh Jackman seemed so aroused during the dance... we had wrongly assumed it was because musicals are so sexy.

Via unknown photographer.

Related:

Brazilian Carnival Outdoing Itself Almost Daily With Risque Nudity

Mr. Skin's 2009 Naked Oscar Nominees, Free & Uncensored

Kate Moss Stocks Up On Beer, Strips For New York Magazine

New Female Railway Uniforms Are A Tid Bit Nipply

While You Were Sleeping: Kate Hudson's Latest Prize

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 14:08:00 GMT

A teenage girl sent 14,528 text messages in one month-- proving that actual, human conversations, even ones over the telephone, are dead. (And yes, her family had her on an unlimited SMS plan.)

We're pretty sure George W. Bush's final news conference will go down in history as his most memorable. Check out the full text here.

Can someone explain to us why Megan Fox thinks she looks like this guy?

And you thought Mail Googles were useless? Turns out they're helping people who e-mail in their sleep.

Would you support a ban on cell phones while driving?

Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez? Well, they've already dated everyone else.

Congress will be televised on YouTube. We're starting to think YouTube has gotten too popular for its own good-- like MySpace, when your grandmother joined up.

And Bruce Springsteen, Shakira, Usher, Sheryl Crow, Beyonce Knowles, and Stevie Wonder are among the highlights of the Obama inaugural shows.

Related:

Thousands Run Amok In Their Underwear

While You Were Sleeping: Kate Winslet's Other Sex Scenes

While You Were Sleeping: Paris Hilton Is Not A Slut

While You Were Sleeping: The Giant Penis Show

While You Were Sleeping: The Gyllenhaal Divorce

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 14:01:00 GMT

This week, we're blogging from a quiet beach near Clearwater, Florida... so your news will be a bit more Southern and probably a lot weirder...

The government will finally bail out the public, thanks to up to $800 billion in money being directed toward allowing for more loans to consumers. Great, just what we need, more debt.

There's nothing worse than getting busted for being involved in prostitution and having your face plastered all over the local media. Actually, we take that back: there's nothing worse than getting busted for prostitution and having your face plastered all over the world, plus admit to dating a much, much older doorman who won the lottery and buys you expensive things. Yeah, that will go over well with your childhood community overseas.

Kristen Johnston, who took it off for-- what else-- PETA. And she, uh, mounted a house for the shoot...

Cancer is on the decline in the U.S. for the first time in our history. However, some naysayers are saying that the amount of people being screened has fallen as well...

We were a little surprised to see Republican Governor Charlie Crist talking "new taxes" in the paper here yesterday. Of course, the top story today? "Gov. Charlie Crist backs off both [tackling a foreclosure freeze and a cigarette tax] after talking to representatives of the banking and tobacco industries." What a whimp.

Even some elected officials were stumped by this challenging US history and government quiz.

One Florida neighborhood's concoction of choice this Thanksgiving? The Molotov cocktail, of course.

How great does Beyonce look as Etta James?

And Maggie and Jake Gyllenhaal's parents are involved in a nasty divorce after 32 years of marriage. Mom is about to go bankrupt thanks to Dad not paying his share of their bills... won't someone think of the children(s' careers)?

Some unlinked stories via The St. Petersburg Times.

Related:

The Second Life Divorce Gets Funnier After The Split

Sex Crimes Prosecutor Charged With Twelve, Count 'Em, Twelve Sex Crimes

While You Were Sleeping: 93% Prefer Real Boobs

Merry Christmas... From the KKK?

Sloppy Seconds: Prostitution Is Now Rape in the U.K.?

While You Were Sleeping: What Men Think Women Think Men Want

While You Were Sleeping: The Facebook Firing

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 13:51:00 GMT

It became apparent that a Boston-area football coach was stealing from the school's uniform fund when he made an ATM withdrawal of $500 at 1am while standing next to a strip club.

A teacher in a Daytona-area school district was busted for some sleazy motel sex with her seventeen-year-old male charge.

Miss Louisiana Teen USA lost her title in the most embarrassing way imaginable: for skipping out on a restaurant check (what, they don't pay you enough, toots?) and, adding arrest to injury, leaving her marijuana behind.

David Duchovny filed a lawsuit over that tennis-pro-cheating bullshit story.

We always knew there'd eventual be a news story about some dummy getting busted by their boss for revealing, via a Facebook status update, that they are not actually "sick at home."

[H]e was found out when his boss spotted this Facebook profile update on the day in question, August 21: "Kyle Doyle is not going to work, f*** it I'm still trashed. SICKIE WOO!"

Ha ha, dickweed. Speaking of dickweeds, this guy claimed he was on his way to see Beyonce and that's why a cop shouldn't arrest him for driving like a drunk driver.

A Florida website about politics: "Top 5 reasons McCain could still win." No mention of what our #1 reason would be: "FLORIDA."

Related:

I Wasn't Going to Live Blog the Debate...

World's Greatest Mom Defends Daughter's Honor... Shotgun Style

While You Were Sleeping: Drunk Cheerleaders Make Sports Watchable Again

12-Year-Old Boy Gets Arrested For Attacking Pregnant Teacher, Threatening To Kill Her

Junior High Teacher Charged With... Oh My...

While You Were Sleeping: Beyonce Is One Sexy Cop

Breaking News: Beyonce Is Now White

Ina Maier — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 14:02:00 GMT

Beyonce is looking mysteriously light in her current L'Oreal Feria ad campaign...

The African-American singer, whose natural tones can be seen in the photo 9above left), signed a multi-million dollar 5-year-contract with the cosmetics giant with the understanding that she would consult the company before making any "radical" changes to her appearance. Looks like that understanding only went one way (above right).

While Beyonce's spokesperson refused to comment, L'Oreal claims, "It is categorically untrue that L'Oreal Paris altered Ms Knowles' features or skin tone in the campaign." Um, sorry L'Oreal, but we seriously beg to fucking differ.

[via Daily Mail, Photo via TheImproper]

Who The Hell? FHM's Sexiest Woman in The World

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Maybe we are falling behind, but we had only barely heard of FHM's #1 Sexiest Woman In The World before today's announcement. Does that make us bad bloggers... or heroic ones, since we did not have to subject you to our musings on her until now?

And the winner is...

Megan Fox!

Megan who? Apparently, she was in Transformers, which we still cannot believe was actually a theatrical motion picture and, even funnier, that thinking people actually paid up to $11 to see. We wouldn't be surprised if the new Indiana Jones movie bombs because it's too intelligent and doesn't have enough robotic explosions for people to shit their pants over.

But that's beside the point.

The point is: who the Christ is Megan Fox? We understand almost all the other entries on the list (#4 Elisha Cuthbert, #11 Hayden Panettiere, #20 Beyonce, etc.), although we're not sure why other guys continue to drool over boring chicks like Jessica Alba [#3} and Jessica Biel [#2], or anyone named Jessica, for that matter, without the last name of Lange. However, we would put in the earplugs and do Simpson in a heartbeat.)

Anyway, check out FHM's list, if the damn page ever loads...

Top Photo: FHM; Bottom Photo: GQ

Sloppy Seconds: It's Friday, How About A "Love Vacation"?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 21:20:00 GMT

The woman accused of poisoning her Marine husband in order to obtain his $250K insurance policy and buy herself breast implants has been vindicated. [CNN]

Woah! Jay and Bey are gonna get an annulment? At a Barack Obama fundraiser the other night, Jay Z was on stage when the DJ put on his centuries-old duet with his new bride. Jay went crazy, it was reported.

Storming to the mic, he yelled: "Fuck that. Sorry Bey, but fuck that - let's play something else."

Beyonce allegedly, and quite correctly, took offense and stormed off the stage... but not before tripping and falling down a flight of stairs. (Kidding!) [The Mirror]

Without a doubt, the highlight of our year: David Byrne and Brian Eno are going to tour. Music's J.D. Salinger of live performance, Brian Fucking Eno. Can a "Talking Heads" reunion be too far off? [The Daily Swarm]

Scarlett Johnasson denies being a "brazen harlot." Some people don't know how to take a compliment. [Starpulse]

Scanner Exclusive: Amy Winehouse is working with "Back In Black" genius boy/producer Mark Ronson on the theme for "Quantum of Solace," the next Daniel Craig Bond movie, due this October. Since "Quantum of Solace" is even easier to rhyme with than "Octopussy," Winehouse announced her latest track will be called "My Blakey Breaky Out o' Jail With Some O' Diss Crazy Spy Shit."

And workers in Finland figured out what we Americans have known all along-- divorce is a great excuse to not show up for work. They're going to pass a law to institute mandatory "Love Vacations." In other news, Erica Jong is officially irrelevant. [New York Times]

Headlines of the Day:

1) Bloomberg: Next President Will Be "Adult" [via CNN]

2) Pope Meets With Many, Many Victims of Pedophile Priests [We're Gonna Need A Bigger Boat] [via Wonkette]

Photo: Vanity Fair

Sloppy Seconds: Father-Daughter Love Child

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 21:28:00 GMT

And you thought dry humping Jennifer Garner at the Oscars was the craziest thing Gary Busey's ever done?

Check out this interview with Busey from a recent issue of Maxim, which pokes lots of fun at the weirdo actor's drug history, including the time he did coke off his dog's ass. This Sloppy Seconds gonna write itself, wethinks.

Jay and Beyonce got married on Friday. Or was it Saturday? Are they even an item? No one knows for sure. We gotta say, more power to the both of them for not letting the slimeballs at Us Weekly get anything out of this.

Freakiest story of the day: "A man who received a heart transplant 12 years ago and later married the donor's widow died the same way the donor did, authorities said: of a self-inflicted gunshot wound." (MSNBC)

Would someone please confirm that Tom Waits is, in fact, going on tour this summer? This iVoice Chat with a very drunk "Tom Waits," while hilarious, doesn't actually come from reputable sources.

It's official: Mexico has re-conquered the Southwest US. Maybe they'll burn down the Absolut distribution center on their march North, just for this insultingly stupid ad.

And an incestuous relationship between a father and daughter in Australia has produced, gag, a child. (Isn't Mom a little worried that her convicted armed-robber lover/father is perhaps already after the nine-month-old for his next conquest?) Normally, we'd make a joke about this being a great reality show for E!'s midseason replacement lineup, but we don't want to give them any ideas.

Dad/Husband: "Of course I knew it was illegal but, you know, so what."

Mrs. Deaves said the physical relationship with her father was like "a sexual relationship with any other man". For Mr. Deaves the sexual relationship was "absolutely fantastic".

There are so many things we could say here, but instead: JTUASIMM, which means "just threw up a SHITLOAD in my mouth."

Via News.au.com.