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Top 5 Charlize Theron Sex Scenes

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 21:16:00 GMT

Fleshbot alerted us to the upcoming Charlize Theron movie, The Burning Plain, which continues Oscar-winning nude trailblazer Charlize Theron's tradition of going topless "if the role requires it."

Here's a list of the five highlights from that stunning career. Nope, no Cider House Rules or Aeon Flux this time... someday, though, we'll get to those scenes...

5. Monster. This harrowing, utterly absorbing serial killer biopic landed Theron a well-deserved Oscar. You would think that would be what everyone remembers about the hit film-- but no, this is what the internet still buzzes about: Charlize + Christina Ricci + tongue = hot sex. This would be one of the most popular sex scenes in history if only the makeup department hadn't conspired to make their characters look more like scary murderers than sex symbols.

4. Reindeer Games. Due to the uploaders poor editing on the first sex scene from this movie, we've included the pool scene as well. Neither of them are all that memorable, but together... not a bad waste of 90 seconds...

3. Head in the Clouds. We always wondered how Stuart Townsend, that lucky bastard, hooked up with our girl, who refers to him as her "husband." It wasn't on this film, but one shortly before that these two met-- but it might as well have started with this scene, which is probably what their nights are like 365 days a year. Lucky, lucky.

2. 2 Days in the Valley. The scene that made her famous starts about 22 seconds in. James Spader may have been in Sex, Lies, and Videotape and a few of the Brat Pack movies. He may have been incredibly good on Boston Legal. Hell, he may go on to win 10 Academy Awards (all for supporting actor-- ha ha, he's always a bridesmaid....) The point is: no matter what James Spader does with the rest of his life, the first line on his resume should read: "Yeah, I was in That Fucking Scene."

1. The Devil's Advocate. You scrolled right to the bottom to check for this one, didn't you? We can't blame you-- this one always blew the others away, especially when we saw it in the context of The Keanu Reeves-Al Pacino Bad Acting Experience. Perhaps both men signed up to enjoy these two lovely ladies in the buff-- after all, there are worse ways to make a living.

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I Love Myself For Loving You: Amy Ryan

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 18:13:00 GMT

She deserved an Oscar for Gone Baby Gone. She was on our favorite show of all time, The Wire. And she's a New Yorker who doesn't act like "the quintessential New Yorker" (i.e. impersonal, egotistical, etc.)

For these and many more reasons, we might actually buy the New York Post this Sunday...

These are excerpts from excerpts from this Sunday's Page Six Magazine with one of our favorite working actresses (and thank God for the "working" part of it...)

On NBC's The Office: “I think it’s one of the funniest shows on TV. I felt so lucky to go [to work and] laugh my head off. I’ve been guaranteed to screw up at least three takes a day, ruining my makeup in the process by crying with laughter – that’s how funny the cast is.”
“I guess I should have just done a reality show, gone out in dresses without my panties and skipped the years of hard work- then everyone would know who I am. Being a working actor was always the goal. It wasn’t about fame for me. But now that I’m older, and I’ve been at it a while, I’m ready for the attention. I think I’ve earned it.”

On Gone Baby Gone: “The role was like winning the lottery. I had been playing scratch-offs for years and finally the stars aligned for me. I was up against incredible actresses like Cate Blanchett, Ruby Dee and Tilda Swinton. Are you kidding me? Of course I didn’t expect to win!”
“I grew up in the same house in Queens my dad grew up in. My family keeps me grounded and deeply rooted in New York. There’s no chance of me getting a big head.”
“I never envisioned a white dress with rice being pelted at my head, [but] I do understand the beauty of choosing life with one person." [There's still hope for you and I, Ms. Ryan...]
“I’m a Barack Obama supporter. He has the knowledge, work ethic and charisma needed to make a change. I don’t think anyone should vote based on what a celebrity has to say, but come Election Day, I hope others agree with me.”

Nope... we couldn't love her more. See the full interview in this Sunday's Page Six Magazine. There, we said it: we want you to read the Post.

Image via W Magazine.

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Top 5 Sex Scenes From Bad Movies

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 20:04:00 GMT

If we've learned anything from Hollywood, it's that 30 seconds of sex is enough for people to endure two hours of terrible moviemaking. (Then again, as in the case of The Girl Next Door, if you promise an "unrated" sex movie and deliver no nudity, barely any sex, and two hours of complete crap? You will pay.)

Here are five of our favorites we haven't been able to forget... all from movies we wish we could...

5. Basic Instinct 2. This sex scene is not even in the Top 200 of Good Sex Scenes From Bad Movies, mainly because it's not a good sex scene. It looks like the film was sped up to make it look rougher, faster, and hotter. It only serves to make it look even more idiotic. We're including it here for comic relief. (The clip we're referring to starts at about 1:20.)

4. Friday the 13th. The original put all my friends to sleep at a late-night slumber party when we were kids-- it's that scary. Rent Black Christmas (the original) or even Halloween (also the original) and you'll do much better. But we like this nice little sex scene all the same...

[Click here to watch this scene-- video on autoplay]

3. Reindeer Games. Even Charlize Theron admits this movie sucks. But who doesn't want to see her naked?

2. The Doors. No matter what you think of Oliver Stone and Jim Morrison, you have to admit combining the two should be brilliant... or, at least, the right pairing for a movie. Too bad Stone focused on nothing but the debauchery and made a pointless movie that offered nothing new or interesting about the late singer. That doesn't mean we don't love this ridiculous and ultimately sexy sex scene:

[Click here to watch this scene-- video on autoplay]

1. Original Sin. If not for this "action" sequence, no one would remember Angelina Jolie and Antonio Banderas' theatrical turd. This is the longest scene on this list and the one most likely to have ended up on Skinemax if not for the presence of A-list stars... it's more than 2 minutes long, complete with an obnoxious orchestral score, and is about as soft-core as it gets. Enjoy.

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While You Were Sleeping: Porn Star Solves The Catholic Crisis

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Ashley Dupre is suing Ashley Dupre for "stealing her identity." Unfortunately, this is not the plot of Paul Auster's next book...

Gun control is apparently impossible to implement, even at a Chinese press conference... on gun control.

Penelope Cruz blames a little monster for her relationship problems. No, sicko, it's not in her pants.

Actors Jeffrey Wright and Josh Brolin were not victims of backwoods lawmen. At least, not in the racist backwoods lawmen sense. (Seriously, we're not surprised that the cops probably didn't use pepper spray and racial taunts in this case-- the proof is in their mugshots, which show both men to be relatively clear-eyed and cheerfully posing.)

Jennifer Garner is pregnant with her second child.

Check out these statistics, from the Telegraph:

One in five 11 to 15-year-olds in England - 640,000 school pupils - had drunk alcohol in the past week, figures published by the NHS Information Centre show.

The study found that the average amount consumed by teenagers who had drunk recently was 12.7 units a week, equivalent to six pints of beer or almost a bottle and a half of wine.

You think these numbers would be higher or lower in the US for the same age group?

And Belladonna, the 27-year-old porn star, offered to donate hundreds of her adult films to the Australian Catholic Church, believing it will help with their abuse problem. Bell, we're not entirely sure your movies are what they'd be interested in.

Sloppy Seconds: Are Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner Really Splitting Up?

Emily Farris — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 21:57:00 GMT

It's official: Bill Murray is divorced. [Yahoo!]

But what if you want your kid to be gay? [Salon]

Jake Gyllenhaal moved into Reese Witherspoon's L.A. home. He could have moved into ours but he probably didn't want to deal with the bugs. [Us]

Wow, Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson are doing things all out of order. Aren't you supposed to get married, then get a puppy, the if you don't kill that, make a baby? [People]

This casting for the Grand Theft Auto IV movie is pretty much right on. [MollyGood]

Page Six's Richard Johnson has been slapped with a $10M lawsuit over claims he made about an alleged sex tape. [Jossip]

No, no, no! Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner say rumors that they're splitting are absolutely that: rumors. [GabbyBabble]

Sloppy Seconds: Ben Affleck's "Big Regret" Involves JLo's Big Booty

Emily Farris — Mon, 12 May 2008 21:46:00 GMT

A biologist who discovered a new arachnid named the new species of trapdoor spider after his favorite musician. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Myrmekiaphila neilyoungi. [Yahoo!]

The View's Joy Behar wants to feel the knob, but draws the line at licking the knob. [Jezebel]

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are apparently "really into each other." [Us]

Little Matilda Rose Ledger looks more and more like her daddy everyday. We don't know if this will be a good thing when she's all grown up, but for now she's so freaking cute. [FameCrawler]

Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson are either engaged or they're not. [Hello!]

Tila Tequila is on the cover of "Blender" probably because her single "Stripper Friends" is a big hit with the kids these days? Oh wait, we've never heard it. [Hollywood Tuna]

Apparently Gwyneth Paltrow is "boring," but she looks hot on the cover of GQ, even if it is Photoshopped. [E!]

When talking about his past relationship with Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck said his "one big regret" was that he appeared the video for her single "Jenny From the Block" in which he rubbed suntan lotion on her booty. Funny, we imagine that would be most men's big goal. [GabbyBabble]

[Image]

This Week in Gayness: Ben Affleck Comes Out

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 21:00:00 GMT

The above-pictured transgender patient is a prison inmate who is suffering through some painful shit while the lawsuit against her warden is slogging on. Michelle, nee Robert Kosilek, is serving a long, long sentence for the 1990 slaying of his wife, which he claimed was in self-defense after she poured hot water on his balls.

We realize that's not really related to homosexuality, but we couldn't figured out where else to put this story, which is from Gay.com. We said it, it's here, now let's move on to the other craziness:

Scanner Bryan alerted us to this one: Producer Scott Rudin thanked his partner during his Oscar acceptance speech (Best Picture - No Country For Old Men), but saw that part mysteriously excised from the official transcript.

That stupid bastard who accused Obama of having gay sex with his stupid bastard self failed a lie detector test. Meanwhile, Obama is buying gay ad time in the upcoming primary states.

Outrage over the story of a bankruptcy judge was busted in New Hampshire for drunk-driving and rear-ending a vehicle. A local newspaper is taking flak for assuming the suspect was dressed in drag. Why? Um, maybe it had something to do with this quote, from the arresting officer: "He had a difficult time locating his license in his purse."

And Ben Affleck came out of the closet on that other late-night show that nobody watches. (Someone please tell me Carson Daly has been cancelled.)

Evil Anti-Gay Video of the Day:

Jimmy Kimmel and Ben Affleck Throw a Sex-Crazed Oscars' After-Party

Nicole Pasulka — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 18:00:00 GMT

Looks like Jimmy Kimmel got his sweet, sweet revenge on Sarah Silverman and Matt Damon by fucking Ben Affleck's brains out and then rounding up a thousand celebrities to sing about it. The song's a little weak, but you'll never hear us complain when Huey Lewis is on the mic.