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The Flavor of Love Sex Tape

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 12 May 2009 16:54:00 GMT

Hoopz, the winner of Flava Flav's fake reality show Flavor of Love on VH-1, is open to all offers of free publicity. We haven't seen or heard from the first-season winner of that show since her 2008 triumph on another VH-1 program, I Love Money. She must be enjoying the $250K prize she took away from that little-seen competition and holing up with her boyfriend, James "Boo" Jackson, a basketball player of minor standing, in Louisville, Tennessee.

Now comes a report (and photo evidence, albeit the teasing, censored kind) that Hoopz has appeared in a sex tape with some dude, presumably Jackson, and that a nefarious character plans to release the footage on DVD any day now...

This twerp, who goes by Mr. ZZee, offered us four horribly-blacked-out photos of a woman resembling Hoopz, who is seen acting out what can only be described as "obvious porn moves." In the video excerpt (also censored), linked below, Hoopz acknowledges the camera, leaving us to wonder: was this staged for private use or, as it seems from the photos, deliberately designed to work as a full-blown porn movie, complete with the various positions seemingly required by all modern grade-Z adult films?

WARNING: Although Mr. ZZZZZZZZZ blacked-out the "naughty bits" in these graphic images, they're still not safe for work...

Here's the link to a 15-second clip-- again, it's almost unwatchable due to black-box blackouts.

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Sloppy Seconds: 'Saved by the Bell' Reunion

Emily Farris — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 23:02:00 GMT

We would like to preface these very sloppy seconds by telling you we think these things are true. But you know how media outlets like to play April Fool's jokes. Ugh.

Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak has been voted off of "Dancing with the Stars." [Yahoo!]

Chris Brown has an entire women's basketball team to beat up. [Us]

Mariah Carey celebrated her 40th birthday with husband Nick Cannon. In other news Mariah Carey is 40! [People]

Kim Kardashian is taking legal action against the porno "Keeping Up With the KardASSians." [FadedYouth]

Jimmy Fallon planned to reunite the entire cast of "Saved by the Bell" (yes!) but failed (noooo!). [Vulture]

While You Were Sleeping: If Even Apple Is In Trouble..

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 14:08:00 GMT

On this radio show discussing Obama having a beer at an NBA game, does it mean anything that some of these callers are against it?

Oh no... what we've always feared... High School Musical 4.

The last thing you want to do when you're running for public office is get yourself accused of sex crimes.

The cop who saved a bunch of lives in a Utah school shooting has pleaded no contest for having sex with a teenage girl while responding to a 9-1-1 call at her house.

Cook County Commissioner Mike Quigley will likely be the next Congressman from Illinois. Yep, another member of the Illinois government is heading to Washington...

Britney Spears launched her tour last night.

A woman called 9-1-1 three times in a row because her McDonald's didn't have any McNuggets.

Speaking of 9-1-1-- if you have a LG 830 Spyder, you seriously need to drop everything and read this.

Rupert Murdoch had his revenge on his biographer, who may be involved in a sex scandal.

And does it mean anything for the country at large if Apple laid off fifty workers yesterday?

Related:

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This Week in Gayness: The Homophobic Celebrity Ad You Missed

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 18:45:00 GMT

The vandalization of a gay youth center on Long Island is being investigated as a possible hate crime.

Fleshbot has TV's hottest girl-on-girl makeout moments.

Cops are cruising dudes at New York City sex shops. The undercovers are entrapping them for prostitution charges by mentioning that they will pay for sex, then waiting approximately two seconds before other cops jump the gay guys and arrest them.

A junkie is whining that gays adopted her kids.

Is it time to boycott Fedex?

Gay marriage is legal in Canada, but even that didn't stop a Manitoba doctor for refusing to even treat lesbians.

Meanwhile, in another part of Canada, an interesting decision on sperm donors.

ESPN produced an ad starring Shaquille O'Neal that will blow your mind, once you realize it was made in the 21st century.

And new Illinois Governor Patrick Quinn keeps looking better and better: turns out he's a big fan of the gays.

Related:

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Today in WTF: Seductive Farting

In Photo War, Patriots Cheerleaders Outdo Cleveland Cavs Cheerleaders

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 15:12:00 GMT

The Cleveland Cavaliers cheerleaders had a photo scandal earlier this month that resulted in many self-righteous commentators spewing nonsense about how disgraceful their innocent, playful, and totally raunchy pics were. (Bill O'Reilly, as usual, had to outdo everyone by giving the girls a public spanking: "[T]his isn't ... the inner city; you would think that these kids would have some kind of a values system.")

In the ensuing chaos, everyone forgot about another cheerleader scandal-- that one in football, courtesy of the New England Patriots. (Still with us?) Next, the other Patriots cheerleaders, we're guessing wildly here, got jealous of all their rivals' media attention and FHM offers and decided to leak sexy photos from the past...

Here are the best, courtesy of some guy named Don Chavez. We're guessing he makes tequila or something.

Oh. How risque... they possess lingerie and footwear. Whoopee.

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The Cleveland Cavaliers Cheerleader Photo Scandal Is Silly, Still Hot

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 20:48:00 GMT

This wouldn't even be a scandal if the cheerleader in question wasn't in the tub with another naked woman.

Although who are we kidding? We'd post these photos with or without a legitimate reason.

Seems this cheerleader for the Cleveland Cavs (that's a basketball team, you nerds), which whipped the asses of the New York Knicks last night, is overshadowing star player Lebron James with some unwanted publicity of her own. The blog The Dirty and nude connoisseur Don Chavez have hunted down the risque photos that have caused an uproar in Ohio's world of non-competitive cheerleading...

Without further ado...

The Top 10 Yahoo Searches of 2008

9-Year-Old Boy Teaches You How To Pick Up Girls

We Present... The Cougar Perv

Life with the Obamas... in the White House

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 14:06:00 GMT

Leave it to a British newspaper to give us the lowdown on what life will be like for our next first family...

Plus: the best story about Vice Presidential sex we've ever heard...

The Mirror, England's splashiest tabloid, had a great piece yesterday detailing the family lives of previous U.S. Presidents and how the Obamas would compare. Among the more memorable speculations and revelations:

1) Obama will get rid of Nixon's famous bowling alley (which, we should add, was actually built as a gift to Harry Truman, who rarely used it) and install a basketball court, where he hopes to take on pro ballplayers.

2) Here's one we hadn't heard: at meals outside of the White House, Secret Service agents will take drinking glasses (and possibly dishes and utensils) from the President after he's done with them and destroy them elsewhere.

3) The President and his family are billed for their own meals and dry cleaning, a fact Nancy Reagan found out after a full month into her husband's administration.

4) Obama will not be allowed, at least by the Secret Service, to bicycle around D.C., which he enjoys doing, and will have to stick to shooting hoops, playing pool, or working out in the exercise room.

5) Sasha and Malia may attend the same private school Chelsea Clinton did and bring slumber parties to the White House.

6) Best of all, Obama and Mrs. Obama will have distress signaling systems.

Obama will be given a set of panic buttons: One for his pocket, one on his desk and one beside his bed. They are credit card-shaped and simply have to be squeezed to summon a posse of agents.

At one time, the President and Vice-President were given three-inch-high models of the Washington Monument to put beside their beds. They had simply to knock them over to summon the guards.

But the models were abandoned after Vice-President Dan Quayle - noted for being clumsy - knocked his over late one night while making love to his wife.

In seconds, the door burst open, the lights went on and Mrs Quayle was thrown out of bed to the floor as bodyguards flocked around her husband to ensure his safety.

7. And, according to People Magazine:

Besides the all-weather tennis court on the South Lawn and the grand piano on the second floor, [Sasha and Malia] will have their own pastry shop, swimming pool, bowling alley and movie theater – complete with a popcorn cart.

The White House also comes with a staff of ushers and pastry chefs to ensure birthday parties will never be the same. They plan slumber parties and scavenger hunts that no Supermom can hope to rival.

More via the Mirror.

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Caption This: David Beckham and Marc Anthony Let it Out Over Basketball

Emily Farris — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 17:16:00 GMT

[Image]

While You Were Sleeping: Lookin' For Asian Women

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 13:08:00 GMT

The new exhibit on sex and politics opened at the Kinsey Institute at the University of Indiana.

Ex-NBA star Kevin Johnson's run for the Mayor of Sacramento may be in jeopardy after it was revealed he (may have) used AmeriCorps members that were working with his nonprofit do personal errands for him. Oh, and there is the whiff of sex, too.

You'll never guess which celebrity is converting to the Jewish faith to please his girlfriend...

Irish actor Colin Farrell is reportedly abandoning his Catholic faith to convert to Judaism for new girlfriend Emma Forrest. [Farrell] has been dating British novelist Forrest since June, but the romance appears to be turning serious. [Starpulse]

A stolen Renoir was recovered in Italy three decades later.

An assistant principal who had a torrid affair-- with a 17-year-old female student-- will spend the next two years with big burly men.

A man in Brisbane is accused of stroking a latex vagina in front of two women. We're not sure why either.

The Playboy Mansion and the rest of Hugh Hefner's empire could be in trouble if he doesn't lay off some of his staff, according to recent rumors.

The best missed connection we saw this morning:

WHITE MALE LOOKING FO ASIAN WOMEN - m4w - 52 (QUEENS -LI)
I AM A WHITE MALE AND I NEVER HAD AN INDIAN WOMEN AND WOULD LIKE TO EXPERENCE IT. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED PLEASE WRITE BACK WITH A PICTURE AND YOUR AGE.

And Scarlett Johansson married Ryan Reynolds in Canada. Words escape us to aptly describe this tragedy.

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Swedish Boarding School Initiates Sex Games For New Students

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 17:22:00 GMT

Have we mentioned how much we love Sweden? First, many of its young ladies enjoy having sex with one another. It's also in Europe, somewhere, so that's helpful.

Seriously, this new story from Sweden, which involves boarding school students, sex games, bananas, and chocolate make take the, um, cake...

It seems that for the new autumn semester of Riksbasket Gymnasiet, a boarding school for students who are more focused on basketball than school books, the new students got a welcoming party they hadn't bargained for.

“In one game boys had their upper bodies covered in chocolate and the girls had to lick it off,” said Ewa Lundström, principle for sports high schools in Luleå, to Sveriges Radio.
“In another game the girls were lying on the floor with a banana in their mouth while the boys did pushups on top of them and ate the bananas,” said Lundström.

Of course, school officials are ruining all the fun by launching a full investigation into the serious, serious matter. Students, meanwhile, are probably realizing that they need to tighten the ranks to the most trustworthy friends, who aren't likely to snitch, and then at least try to get more creative about their initiation methods.

We recommend ice cubes on a hot day, a la Do The Right Thing.

Via The Local.

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Girls Basketball at the Islamic Games Restores Our Faith in Humanity

Nicole Pasulka — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 19:03:00 GMT

Tired of stories about teenagers involved in pregnancy pacts and petty crime? Yeah. So are we. That's why we were unreasonably psyched to read this story of girls basketball at the Islamic Games 2008. The Games were revived two years ago and according to the article:

Clearly, interest has been high, with 1,500 competitors entered in events ranging from soccer and cricket to volleyball, softball and arm-wrestling. The Games are staged according to strict Islamic codes, meaning that girls are separated from boys, staging their events in a large gymnasium.

See, no promiscuity, no bad decision making or legal ramifications, just a laid-back story of women in hijab playing sports and having a good time. What a nice Friday read.

For the players of Al-Madinah, the hijab is just part of the uniform. "Its like WNBA — our hijabs are like their headbands," says 17-year-old Emtiaz Hussain, originally from Yemen.

This is what we're talking about. Everyone loves basketball. Kevin Garnett would be proud even though he would not be able to come to any of the games.

On Our To-Do List: Charles Barkley

Katie Halper — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 20:07:00 GMT

We're totally, full-court press, crushing on Charles Barkley after hearing him slam the Christian Right for being fake and hypocritical on CNN. Like so many crushes, Charles had us at "[Conservative] Christians... they're not supposed to judge other people, but they're the most hypocritical judge of people we have in this country." And hearing Charles say "I feel very comfortable saying I'm pro-choice and I'm for gay marriage" made us feel very hot and bothered. In case you're reading this, Mr. Barkley, we just wanted to let you know that if you wanted to drive us to the basket, box us out or double team us, we wouldn't call a flagrant foul.

Until somebody can really answer the question WWJD, we'll just live by this golden rule: WWCBD ("What Would Charles Barkley Do"). Hopefully we are on his "Who Would Charles Barkley Do" List. But either way, Charles Barkley is on the top of our To-Do List.

When You Gotta Go, You Gotta Go

Emily Farris — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 20:48:00 GMT

We know that better than anyone. Cursed with a ridiculously small bladder and a slight case of OCD, anytime we're more than a quarter-mile from our own toilet it seems we have to pee every twenty minutes. Get a few drinks in us and the world is our urinal. Having had to talk our way out of a few tickets for public urination, we sure can feel the pain of K-State's Bill Walker who is all over the internet today for pissing in a towel mid-game last night.

[Via Deadspin]