Scanner : barbie

The Rare Knocked Up Midge Doll

Colleen Kane — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 22:41:00 GMT

In all of Barbie's 50 years, why hasn't there ever been a pregnant Barb? There has, but it was Midge. (Barbie can get married, since there's bride Barbie and Sparkle Groom Ken, but then you must reset the play to dating mode.) And the pregnant Midge doll was controversial and pulled from the shelves. You know, because seeing a pregnant doll might encourage teen pregnancy.

(?)

Here's the zany toy-collecting guy Mike Mozart demonstrating how pregnant Midge gave birth.

Dude makes some perfectly valid points, but too bad he insists on using those infuriating zowie-boing sound effects and rim-shots every two seconds. And here he is showing off another controversial Barbie, one with a "tattoo stamper," an unfortunate phrase which he points out brings to mind the famous tramp stamp.

The Real Story Behind Barbie... And The Truth About That Ken Dude

Video of the Day: Cougar Barbie

Ken: Tool, Eunuch, Possible Creep

Colleen Kane — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:52:00 GMT

Slate ran a piece today about the gent who has lived in Barbie's curvaceous shadow for most of her 50 years: Ken. Two books have come out about Barb, but in both, Ken was given little play.

In the article, writer Troy Patterson brings up a few interesting points: that infamous vague crotch bump in lieu of anatomical correctness, that Ken is never depicted as married to Barbie, even though Wedding Day Sparkle Groom Ken is the best-selling Ken doll, and that Ken is often dressed in boy versions of Barbie's sparkly getups, which doesn't always result in the most masculine looks. Patterson described the following Ken doll as gay iconic, and since it's been a while since we've checked in with Ken, let's review some of Ken's other looks.

Earring Magic Ken

But I'm more concerned about Little Patient Tommy here, and Ken's raised hand.

Is it terribly cynical that I can only see this as sinister?

Ken is always hanging around with a mini-me.

Here's a special edition Harley-Davidson model, or Ken as drag king:

And check out Ken's new face as of 2006-- less manly, more teenish:

Fashion Fever, indeed.

The Real Story Behind Barbie... And The Truth About That Ken Dude

Video of the Day: Barbie and Ken (and Some Guy) Make a Porno

Image, and Amazon.com

Life-Sized Barbie Dream House: I Want to Go to There

Emily Farris — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 14:54:00 GMT

We give Barbie a lot of shit here at Scanner—for her tramp stamp, for being too skinny, for not acting her age and even for making a skeezy porno—but you know what? Fuck that. Barbie brought us a lot of joy back when we were wearing Kissing Coolers and thought that Sesame Street was our "soap opera." Yeah, maybe we'd give her spiky hair cuts and put crazy colors in her spiky platinum 'do with washable markers, but she still loved us and we loved her. And when we were growing up in a government-subsidized townhouse in the meth capitol of the world, you can bet your ass there was nowhere we'd rather have lived than Barbie's Dream House. So forgive us if we're a little too excited about the life-sized Barbie Dream House that opened in Shanghai on Friday.

The House of Barbie, a six-story, hot-pink shrine to the doll—who turns 50 today—boasts a chandelier made of blonde hair, a closet stocked with 100 pairs of pink patent-leather pumps and a kitchen that exists solely for the purpose of baking cupcakes.

Of course, this Barbietopia is also a retail location. And the China market is one reason Mattel chose Shanghai for the flagship store.

Here, dolls range in price from $10 to $200 — for a Barbie in a Vera Wang wedding dress. But is Barbie too blond, too expensive for the China market? At a Shanghai primary school, opinion is divided.

"She's really pretty," says Wang Yiqi, looking longingly at Barbie's pink frilly miniskirt. The 11-year-old is a marketer's dream: she recognizes the specially designed $35 Shanghai Barbie and can't wait to go to the store. Others aren't quite as positive.

"I've got one just like this at home," says 7-year-old Yang Fangchen, "and it only cost $3, and she has a set of extra clothing."

Mrs. Wu, who's picking up her granddaughter, is horrified to hear of the price. "People of my generation find that really expensive. It's definitely not worth it."

In China, Barbie's world is likely to be full of impersonators. Xu Quanning, secretary general of the Shanghai Toy Trade Association, says that Barbie look-alikes for just $1 or $2 were far outselling the real doll.

But don't worry, there is no mass-market Chinese Barbie at the House of Barbie, though Mattell created a special doll which their calling "a pan-Asian likeness" (above right) for the store's opening.

[NPR: Mattel Hopes Shanghai Is A Barbie World]

Related:

The Real Story Behind Barbie... And The Truth About That Ken Dude

Video of the Day: Barbie and Ken (and Some Guy) Make a Porno

Video of the Day: Cougar Barbie

Today in the Apocalypse: Barbie Got Even Skinnier

Video of the Day: Lithuanian Barbie Girls

Sloppy Seconds: The Most Amazing 9-1-1 Call Ever (AUDIO)

Emily Farris — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 00:50:00 GMT

Hey, geeks (or people like us?): it's National Grammar Day. [National Grammar Day]

We were totally pissed we missed this last year and we're actually considering entering this time. It's the third annual Peeps Diorama Contest! [Washington Post]

Barbie got a tramp stamp! [Jossip]

Justin Timberlake and his lady love Jessica Biel will celebrate her birthday with... George Bush? [Us]

Mariska Hargitay has been hospitalized—again!—for a collapsed lung. [Yahoo!]

Evan Rachel Wood topped VenusZine's list of 25 Under 25. Also on the list: Adele, Zoe Kravitz. [VenusZine]

We know Scanner Brian mentioned this in While You Were Sleeping, but it's so good we wanted to make sure you heard it (plus, we have the audio): a woman in Florida called 9-1-1 after a McDonald's employee told her the chain had run out of chicken McNuggets. Apparently, she had already paid and wanted her money back instead of some other food. Is it bad that this woman is sort-of our hero and that we also really want chicken McNuggets right now? [The Inquisitr]

Video of the Day: Cougar Barbie

Emily Farris — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 17:12:00 GMT

We don't know how we missed this when it aired (and we can't believe no one sent it to us!).

Saturday Night Live is all about the Cougars this season. So it's no surprise they'd cash in on Barbie's 50th birthday. Cougar Barbie comes with dream Botox and she pole dances to the smooth stylings of Steve Perry.

Related:

Video of the Day: Barbie and Ken (and Some Guy) Make a Porno

Video of the Day: Lithuanian Barbie Girls

Today in the Apocalypse: Barbie Got Even Skinnier

[Via The Frisky]

The Real Story Behind Barbie... And The Truth About That Ken Dude

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 20:50:00 GMT

It's been a big week for Ken and Barbie. First, they made a porno together, one that warmed our frozen-ass hearts in brutal New York; next up, confirmation that the guy who created Barbie was a total sleazebag...

The sex-starved mainstream media has been running excerpts from Jerry Oppenheimer's new book about Mattel, maker of the dreaded dolls, which include such nuggets as:

Jack Ryan, the Yale-educated designer who popularized Barbie, was a "full-blown seventies-style swinger" with "a manic need for sexual gratification."
Staging orgies at his Bel-Air mansion, Ryan, whose wives included Zsa Zsa Gabor, surrounded himself with busty Barbie clones, including Gwen Florea, who was the "voice of Barbie" in a line of talking dolls. The book quotes her: "He once said to me he loved me being tall so he could stick his nose in my boobs when he hugged me."

Ryan's friend, Stephen Gnass, confides to the author: "When Jack talked about creating Barbie . . . it was like listening to somebody talk about a sexual episode, almost like listening to a sexual pervert . . ." Ryan took calls at Mattel from a madam and patronized "high-class call girls to streetwalkers," including a "very thin and child-like" hooker. The book claims that Ryan "somehow rationalized that he was the only man in her life" until he was diagnosed with gonorrhea.

Yes, all this is entirely predictable. So what about the real debate-- what's up with "Ken"? According to IMDB, Barbie was named after Ryan's daughter Barbara, while Ken was based on... Ken, his son with Ruth Handler.

Despite marrying and having three kids, Ken was a closeted gay, Oppenheimer says. "To all those who knew him Ken Handler was a wonderful father, a loving husband . . . But there was another side to Ken. And in 1990 he was formally diagnosed with AIDS. His parents and wife were shocked." He died in 1994 in Greenwich Village, but obits didn't mention the disease.

The Post doesn't mention who Oppenheimer learned this information, so we can't say for sure it'll check out when the book appears, but... good Lord-- Ken was gay after all!

Video of the Day: Barbie and Ken (and Some Guy) Make a Porno

More Porny Than Actual Porn: Miami's Fabulous Hotel-a-Go-Go

Video of the Day: Barbie and Ken (and Some Guy) Make a Porno

Emily Farris — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 20:29:00 GMT

We watch a lot of videos here at Scanner. We laugh at some, roll our eyes at others and even get turned on by a few. Then we click out of the window and move onto the next sex scandal or ridiculous tabloid news story or four and call it a day. Little thought is given to the people who create said videos, or in the case of the Barbie Porn YouTube videos, who is actually doing the voiceovers.

When we do think of such things, however, we are forced to consider the question: to dump or not to dump the guy who makes Barbie porn for the Internet?

Watch the video and then let us know.

[Videogum: That's Your Boyfriend: YouTube Barbie Porn Voice Actor]

Sloppy Seconds: Palin on Oprah, Will She or Won't She?

"Barbie Shoot" Chinese For "Lolita Glamour Shots"

More Porny Than Actual Porn: Miami's Fabulous Hotel-a-Go-Go

What Are You Gonna Be for Halloween, Sarah Palin?

Sloppy Seconds: Barbie Parts Make the Cutest Necklaces

[Image]

Video of the Day: Lithuanian Barbie Girls

Emily Farris — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 16:58:00 GMT

We really don't even know where to begin with this one, but it's so terrible we couldn't help but watch alll the way through... kind-of like driving past a car wreck, a very bloody car wreck—except everyone's blood is Pepto Bismol pink.

It somehow makes Aqua's "Barbie Girl" (after the jump) seem, uh, no so bad?

Sloppy Seconds: Palin on Oprah, Will She or Won't She?

Emily Farris — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 21:26:00 GMT

~~Mary~~ Nancy Wilson of Heart feels "completely fucked over" after the Republicans used the band's Barracuda as a theme song for Sarah Palin during the RNC. Wilson's sister and bandmate, Ann, chimed in: "Sarah Palin’s views and values in NO WAY represent us as American women. We ask that our song ‘Barracuda’ no longer be used to promote her image. The song ‘Barracuda’ was written in the late 70s as a scathing rant against the soulless, corporate nature of the music business, particularly for women." [Wonkette]

That's no matter, because John McCain's RNC speech had 500,000 more viewers than Obama's. Okay, so it's a difference of 38.4 million viewers (Obama) to 38.8 million viewers, but we all know what difference half a million votes can make (not that everyone who watched the RNC will vote for McCain). [Huffington Post]

Is this scary-ass Barbie doll really worth $100,000? Apparently so. [The Sun]

Um, if you're going to ride a mechanical bull, you might get hurt. Apparently there should be some kind-of waiver for this. [Daily News]

We're having a hard time believing that the 24 most eye-catching American Apparel ads couldn't have made it all the way to 25. [Debonair]

Vince Young's sausage taste's great. [Deadspin]

Oprah has made it clear that she has no intention of having Sarah Palin on her show, at least until after the election is over (which, honestly, we think is kind-of shitty... Oprah could at least give Palin the James Frey treatment). But, we get where she's coming from: "At the beginning of this presidential campaign when I decided that I was going to take my first public stance in support of a candidate, I made the decision not to use my show as a platform for any of the candidates," Winfrey, who was an early backer of Barack Obama, says in a statement to TMZ.com. "I agree that Sarah Palin would be a fantastic interview, and I would love to have her on after the campaign is over," she adds. "There has been absolutely no discussion about having Sarah Palin on my show." [Us]

Sloppy Seconds: Is Hayden Engaged?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 20:09:00 GMT

A man in Atlantic City was arrested for merely "displaying" pornography in his car... including a naked barbie doll.

Local residents complained about "being exposed" to items in his car, which had been parked off an on, in the same lot for several weeks. The classic line:

"...The only thing that was found up front was a topless Barbie doll on the dashboard, two DVD's in the console, the rest of the stuff was in the back seat....the only way that anyone would know there was anything in there was to walk up and actually look in the car." [NBC]

A woman claiming to be A-Rod's favorite stripper called a Detroit radio show this morning. Madonna's reps denied the singer made the call.

Is Milo Vermtitieitithatahghgag about to pop the question to Jailbait Hayden Panettiere? Dude, she's 18... you're 31... let her grow up a bit first!

Lucky for us an even better catch is back on the market: Emily Blunt, formerly attached to Michael Buble, is rejoining the dating circuit, woo hoo.

Worst. Coworker. Ever. [ABC]

A Chilean stripper was just arrested for pole dancing on the subway. You've been warned, L train girls. [Reuters]

And the eadline of the Day (from Fark): Austrian man who locked his daughter in dungeon for 24 years asks to be let out of his prison cell, explaining that he can't stand being cooped up [Fark]

The A-Rod Madonna Lenny Kravitz Clusterf*ck

Video of the Day: Subway Pole Dancing

Who Are Your Five To Watch in 2008?

Sloppy Seconds: Star Jones' Split, Sienna Miller's Engagement and Heath Ledger's Will

Emily Farris — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 21:57:00 GMT

Even though we're back in New York, we just can't seem to get away from Missouri. State Rep. Curt Dougherty wants to make St. Louis-based Budweiser the official state beer.

The Pussycat Dolls: one down... how many left to go?

Star Jones and Al Reynolds may be calling it quits. See? Some men don't like it when their women get all skinny and scary.

Even if you missed Barbie's birthday yesterday, you can still celebrate the telephone's birthday today.

Sienna Miller is engaged to actor Rhys Ifans, the naked dude from Notting Hill. He had proposed twice before. Uh, third time's a charm?

Heath Ledger's will reveals that his money will go to his parents. Note to people with drugs problems and children: just because you think you're invincible, update your will next time you refill your stash. Luckily for Michelle and Matilda (who probably aren't hurting for money), the Ledger family plans to take care of Heath's ex and daughter.

Sloppy Seconds: Barbie Parts Make the Cutest Necklaces

Nicole Pasulka — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 20:00:00 GMT

Earrings fit for an A.M. Homes story: Jewelry made of Barbie bits.

Russell Crowe's gone baptizin'.

Mitt Romney would have liked to see Adam and Eve wearing bigger leaves.

David Byrne on IKEA: "Like entering a videogame world."

The church lady sex addict