Scanner : bacon

Suicide Girls Get Bromantic Tattoos @ SXSW

Colleen Kane — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 19:05:00 GMT

Three of us Scanners (Emily, Brian, and yours truly) are at South by Southwest this week, though we have yet to convene. However, we do have some SXSW-related sexy lady news to report, naturally.

Two Suicide Girls, Lynn LaValee and Jessica Zollman, celebrated their upcoming roommate-dom here in Austin by getting new matching tatts themed after their shared love for a certain favorite-on-the-Internet food item...

Bacon.

Here's Jessica's self-portrait.

And here's Lynn's bicep's bacon + grease.

Jessica told the L.A. Times, "Raw meat, sexuality, food -- I think they all go hand in hand."

Related:

Suicide Girls Rated "F" by Better Business Bureau

SuicideGirls.com Lays Off Bloggers, Including Ensign Wesley Crusher

Celebrity Ink: Angelina Jolie's Tattoos Look Really Great Next to Her Breasts

Images: Jay Zombie's flickr & twitter, L.A.Times blogs

The Rise and Fall of Lindsay Lohan

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 14:45:00 GMT

We try not to dwell on the weight fluctuations of celebrities, since our greatest collective fear on this blog is-- shot in the dark-- that someone will point out our own problems with bacon cheeseburgers and failed diet plans.

But when the entire internet is worried that Lindsay Lohan is starving herself to death, we really have no choice but to investigate. Thankfully, we didn't have to spend all our waking hours on this or stare too hard at the evidence... it's pretty clear from this topless shoot Lohan did recently for Hedi Slimane that there's at least one thing wrong with her...

Drumroll, rimshot... she has fake boobs.

For years, scientists and other observers (i.e. mean bloggers) have commented that Lindsay's bust enhanced at precisely the time she transitioned to "adult" roles. (Unfortunately, not that kind of "adult" role.) No one could say definitively... until now, at least, according to those same mean bloggers. They're playing the "told you so" song and pointing out that the new ultra-skinny Lindsay should have sagging breasts, what with all the weight loss.

In other words, if we were going to title this article more inappropriately, it would be headlined: "The Rise and Rise of Lindsay Lohan's Boobs."

Here's what they're referring to-- the only two boob pictures from the shoot:

What do you think? Does this prove, disprove, or have no bearing on the theories? Also, um, should we give her one of our bacon cheeseburgers or something? Disturbing stuff...

Via Hedi Slimane's website.

Related:

Today in the Apocalypse: Barbie Got Even Skinnier

Sloppy Seconds: Why Sam Won't Leave Lindsay

Caption This: Lindsay Lohan's Boobs And Sam Ronson's Eyeline

Kate Moss Stocks Up On Beer, Strips For New York Magazine

Bacon Bra, Meet Your Soulmate

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 19:29:00 GMT

Remember this from last year? Some of you must've, since it got linked just about everywhere and caused at least two vegetarians to publicly convert. (Okay, we made up the latter detail.)

The sports blog InGameNow has unveiled... the bacon bikini...

Another perk thanks to working from home: we can order four bacon cheeseburgers and no one is here to stop us. Or steal them.

By the way, the Modern Materialist has a purse for those ladies who love bacon... overcooked bacon, that is:

More photos at InGameNow.

Related:

No Regrets, We May Have Finally Found A Hangover Cure

Fatties: Get Up, Get Out So You Can Still Get it Up

Today in Food Porn: The Bacon Bra

Carmen Electra's Latest Playboy Shoot Explains Why The Magazine Is Failing

Bacon-Infused Cocktail Made Us Orgasm Just Reading About It

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 18:18:00 GMT

Summer's almost over, which means it's time to drink heavily and balloon up for the unbearable winter months. A good way to start is with this monster of an Old Fashioned: it involves bacon, maple syrup, and about a bucket o' whiskey...

Start your week right with the recipe, after the jump:

PDT’s Bacon-Infused Old Fashioned

FOR THE BOURBON- BACON INFUSION:
3 or 4 slices bacon, or enough to render 1 ounce of fat (PDT uses Benton’s, but any extra-smoky variety will do)
1 750-ml. bottle of bourbon such as Four Roses Yellow Label

FOR THE OLD FASHIONED:
2 ounces bacon-infused bourbon
1/4 ounce Grade B maple syrup
2 dashes Angostura bitters
Twist of orange

FOR THE BACON-INFUSED BOURBON: Cook bacon in pan and reserve rendered fat. (1) When bacon fat has cooled a bit, pour off one ounce from pan. (2) Pour bourbon into a non-porous container. (3) Strain the bacon fat into the container and infuse for 4 to 6 hours at room temperature. Place mixture in freezer until all the fat is solidified. With a slotted spoon, remove fat and strain mixture back into bottle.
FOR THE COCKTAIL: In mixing glass, stir 2 ounces bacon-infused bourbon, maple syrup, and bitters with ice. Strain into chilled rocks glass filled with ice. Garnish with orange twist.

We hope someone can come up with a way to meld the two drinks into one so we can have maple syrup and bacon with our whiskey, but there's always the ol' Pancakes and Booze Breakfast, which explains our ability to sift through the New York magazine website, from whence this recipe came...

While you're at it, check out the How To video here.

Related:

15 Hangover Cures From Around The World

Today in Sandwich Porn: The Lady's Brunch Burger

Today in Food Porn: The Bacon Bra

Swedes Get High On Nutmeg, End Up In Hospital For Cake Overload...

If Your Date Orders Caviar, Almond-Covered Truffles, And Ginger Beer... Now You Know Why

Scanner Roundtable: Bases

Hot Damn, We Want That Bacon Wallet

It's Official: Denny's Designs Food For Drunks, By Drunks

When Drinking and Technology Don't Mix: Scanner Emily's Facebook Faux Pas

Sloppy Seconds: Who Says Homosexuality and Polygamy Are The Same Thing?

Emily Farris — Tue, 20 May 2008 22:01:00 GMT

We'll never think of Folsom Prison the same way again. [Fleshbot]

Ultra-Orthodox residents of Jerusalem have demanded a "Sex and the City" movie billboard be taken down because it contains the word "sex." Hm, "And the City," kind-of sounds like our life lately. [Defamer]

Buffy the Vampire Slayer has officially become college curriculum. Maybe it's finally time for us to start watching. [elPasoTimes]

Ted Kennedy's recent seizure was apparently caused by a brain tumor. So sad. [NYT]

Chocolate-covered bacon? We'll take 17, please. [Slog]

Giant carnivorous mice make us think of those scary rats from The Princess Bride, except scarier, because they're real. [Guardian]

Yeah, Ellen Degeneres should not get married because homosexuality is just like polygamy, according to a crazy woman who is "concerned for women" and, apparently, marriage. [Queerty]

Today in Food Porn: The Bacon Bra

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 16:45:00 GMT

Although food is often pornographic, porn is rarely edible.

Photos of the infamous bacon bra are circulating on the net, but they originated on Brian Kusler's Flickr page. The below photo comes with the below introduction from one lucky birthday dude:

"I don't really know how the idea came up... at some point after too many tequilas and my friend talking about how to get more men interested in her, someone said, "wait, men love bacon and boobs, why not combine the two? that's a million dollar idea right there!"

This is so hot it could make Lindsay Lohan look desirable.

The most mouth-watering part of all this hubbub is the following comment, posted on the same Flickr page:

we totally deep fried the bacon and ate it later :)

What's that sound that Homer makes when his mouth is having a food-related orgasm? "Ahwhwahhhauhhhh."

Photo of Bacon & Boobs: Brian Kusler

Today in Sandwich Porn: The Lady's Brunch Burger

Emily Farris — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 14:33:00 GMT

Paula Deen's Lady Brunch Burger: a beef patty, two slices of bacon and a fried egg between two glazed donuts. We pretty much want to make love to this sandwich, rub it all over ourselves, then eat it off of our own bodies—all while somehow maintaining its structural integrity. But maybe that's just us?

This sandwich, however, evokes the opposite reaction.

Ladies and gentlemen, the White Castle Surf & Turf:

[Food Network: The Lady's Brunch Burger]

(Thanks to Jeff for the photo of the Surf & Turf!)

Hot Damn, We Want That Bacon Wallet

sarahhepola — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 15:20:00 GMT

Our buddy Erin Bradley, Nerve columnist and former Scanner cohort, is hosting a contest in honor of national pork month. (That is October. Didn’t you know?) She needs hot, eligible single people to hook up with a fine romance. You're a hot, eligible single person, right? Let's sweeten the pot: There’s a bacon wallet involved. We are so totally there. Read all about it here.