Scanner : art

Oldest Piece of Art Determined to Be Pornographic

Drew Grant — Thu, 14 May 2009 20:22:00 GMT

Archeologists may have found the oldest piece of "art" in existence: A sculpture of Venus de Milo dating back 35,000 years ago. That's approximately 5,000 years before the next Venus knockoffs! So what were the standards for a perfect woman back in the day?

The short, squat torso is dominated by oversize breasts and broad buttocks. The split between the two halves of the buttocks is deep and continuous without interruption to the front of the figurine. A greatly enlarged vulva emphasizes the “deliberate exaggeration” of the figurine’s sexual characteristics, Dr. Conard said.
(...)By modern standards, he said, the figurine’s blatant sexuality “could be seen as bordering on the pornographic.”

Luckily, artistic cavepeople weren't hindered by the Moral Majority Coalition telling them that their statues were sexually deviant pieces of trash.

(Via)

Did You Miss The Sex Workers' Art Show Tour?

Dog Sh*t Art Piece Floats Away, Lands In Children's Home

Nearly-Naked Gisele Poses With a Bunch of Naked Black Men, Raises Questions of Race

Emily Farris — Wed, 06 May 2009 23:01:00 GMT

Norwegian fashion photographer Sølve Sundsbø recently shot a series with supermodel Gisele Bündchen surrounded by very buff, very naked black men. The contrast in skin tones is striking, but are we supposed to read more into it?

As one commenter over at Project Rungay said: "wow, those photos are fierce. can't tell if the guys are her slaves or if they're raping her. interesting race dialogue. the first photo is super sexy."

What do you think? Have a look and let us know in the comments section.

Related:

The Art of the Nude Supermodel

Video Of The Day: Because Sometimes Racism Is Funny!

Once You Go Black

[Racialicous via Jezebel]

Double Your Pleasure

Emily Farris — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 22:19:00 GMT

VIA THE MODERN MATERIALIST: What is it about retro lithographs that hits on our collective sense of national nostalgia? Actually, that's probably exactly what it is, but regardless, they're just... Cool. And these very, very NSFW retro pin-ups by Mel Ramos are a perfect example of this:

Read more...

Full Frontal Nudity On British Afternoon TV

Emily Farris — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 19:49:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: More evidence British television is not at all like American television...

Read more...

While You Were Sleeping: The Fate of Project Runway

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:16:00 GMT

Mona Lisa from burger grease! The great smirking later has never been sexier. (Luckily, this isn't one of those "it's a turd shaped like my aunt Josefa, let's sell it on eBay" things, but art.)

A strip club takes on the McDonald's logo, McDonald's takes them to court.

You think Snoop Dogg's remixes of Johnny Cash songs will be any good?

Two typos, two accidental calls to two different phone sex lines. The first, which Emily mentioned yesterday, involves cereal, the second... Hillary Clinton.

Jonathan Coulton has a new DVD out called Best. Concert. Ever. We predict it will be a live recording.

NBC affiliates should learn never to underestimate Jay Leno's ability to draw viewers.

Meanwhile, the television company will air a documentary focused on Farrah Fawcett's battle with breast cancer.

The Project Runway lawsuit was settled-- the show will air again this summer, this time on the Lifetime Network.

And instead of beating up the fan who exposed himself to her, Lady Gaga signed the man's naughty bits.

Scanner Goes To Art School, Does Not Get Laid

Ina Maier — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 22:39:00 GMT

The Lost Tribes of New York City from Carolyn London on Vimeo.

Yes, this is what appears to be our second art post of the day. (We don't normally pay attention to the loftier exploits of the Internet's artistes -- preferring, if you will, to keep it down and dirty -- but this video was too good to pass up.)

But, more importantly, it also serves as a handy reminder that assigning real life and ordinary voices to "talking" inanimate objects is always awesome. Creature Comforts, anyone?

[via]

Art Students the Biggest Sluts, Study Says

Extreme Sheepherding Art...Seriously

While You Were Sleeping: Diablo Cody's Super Porno Limo Rides

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 13:12:00 GMT

Gmail is here to rescue you from regrettable sent message. Of course, you have to immediately regret sending the e-mail for the feature to work.

M.I.A. replaced Amy Winehouse in the Coachella lineup.

We don't even know what to say about this woman who is no longer attracted to her laid-off husband.

Improv Everywhere staged an art opening on a New York City subway platform.

The strip club job fair appears to have been a success.

Winnipeg is finally safe to drive in.

The top film at the box office was not I Love You, Man or the equally-hyped Julia Roberts-Clive Owen movie Duplicity. Instead, another presumably dumb Nicholas Cage movie took the top spot. (How was it, really, and why did you bother?)

Diablo Cody's friends called their limo rides with the star screenwriter "super porno."

And Ashton Kutcher posted a TwitPic of wife Demi Moore bending over in a bikini. And she was thrilled.

Let's Settle This Ridiculous First-Date Pay Debate

Coke Ad Offends the Entire Country of Sweden

Barded Man of the Week: Shakespeare

Colleen Kane — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 16:37:00 GMT

A portrait recently came to light that experts say is the only portrait of Shakespeare painted during his lifetime, and so the only accurate depiction of how he really looked. As a friend who passed this story along observed, "Shakespeare was a babe!" I don't know if I'd go that far, but he does look markedly better in the newly discovered portrait than in many previous depictions, like the above...

The painting has belonged to the Cobbes family for several centuries, but they never realized who the subject of the portrait was until one family member saw a reproduction of his family's painting at a Shakespeare exhibit at a gallery. Now, one expert says they are 90 percent sure the subject of this portrait is Shakespeare, and x-rays and infrared anaylsis confirm the painting was made in 1610, when the Bard was 47. Also, the Cobbes family is distantly related to Shakespeare's only known patron, so it's totally him.

Assquatch Art Makes Us Proud to Be Alive

Dog Sh*t Art Piece Floats Away, Lands In Children's Home

Image

Wanted: 20 More Vadge Volunteers

Colleen Kane — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:25:00 GMT

British artist Jamie McCartney has 180 plaster casts of vaginas ages 18-64, including male-to-female transexuals, a virgin, and a porn star, but that's not enough. He needs 20 more to complete his goal of 200 for a sculpture, "Design a Vagina," which is a commentary on vaginal reconstructive surgery.

"I am offering women the last chance to be 1/200th of art history in the making," he said.

He's actively seeking to cast twins, a prostitute, a woman who has had plastic surgery on her vagina, and a victim of genital mutilation.

View some of the V-casts at Brighton Bodycasting.

As David Spade might say, "Casting genitalia in plaster was a novel idea...when it was invented three decades ago by Cynthia Plaster Caster."

Related:

Somebody Wants To Invade Our Vaginas

George W. Bush Attacks Our Vaginas

5 Terrifying Rites of Manhood Make Us Grateful for Our Vaginas

Naked Man Takes Over the Tate

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 14:47:00 GMT

Have you ever noticed that museums host an assortment of paintings and photos of nude women, but hardly any of men?

These noble internet troublemakers noticed...

An image of a naked delivery driver from Newcastle has been projected onto the side of Tate Britain in a bid to break the taboo of showing the male form.

But the stunt is not the product of the art establishment, 25-year-old Neill Richardson was dared to show off his body on a bragging website.

He sent in the picture - displaying his tattoos and behind - and it was (somehow) picked as the 'best' and projected 50ft tall onto the side of the famous art gallery. [Newslite]

While their intentions may not have been as heroic as some might suggest (they weren't out to "break the taboo" any more than they wanted to top a similar prank from 1999 that projected a naked Gail Porter onto the backside of Parliament), at least now people in the art world are discussing that controversial subject: the nude male form and the unspoken conservative suppression of it.

Venus and Serena Williams Pretend Not to Enjoy Happy Streaker

Today in "The Sun Made This Up": Raccoon Bites Man's Manhood

While You Were Sleeping: Weekend Weddings

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 15:52:00 GMT

Someone has been posing as a thirteen-year-old Australian girl on the internet and posting nude photos, license plates, and phone numbers online predators. Unsurprisingly, the cops want to do the job themselves.

Censorship reigns supreme in America, even in art galleries.

What's worse than getting married at a Waffle House? Getting married at Taco Bell.

Roland Burris-- forgotten footnote or future Senator? History will be decided today.

What happens when you're Elvis Costello and you're on tour with The Clash and the Damned? Painful pranks.

Charlotte Church is old enough to have a baby? Holy God, we must be getting old.

A man solved a Rubik's Cube... after 26 years of trying. We're not supporters of just giving up when something doesn't work, but...

'Til Death will return for a fourth season.

Prince Harry apologized for calling someone a "raghead" and another a "Paki."

And Kevin Costner was in the hospital while, on an unrelated note, Fergie got married in Malibu.

Art Students the Biggest Sluts, Study Says

Emily Farris — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 18:37:00 GMT

According to a new study out of Australia, and an even more disturbing article about said study, art students are the most sexually active and know the least about STD's.

A pilot study at the University of Sydney asked 185 students aged 16 to 25 about their sexual history and awareness of the sexually transmitted disease chlamydia, the national AAP news agency reported.

Arts students were “more likely to be sexually active and to report having little or no knowledge of chlamydia,” said the study, published in the journal Sexual Health.

“Males in the study were less likely to have had sex as a group compared to the group of females in the sample.” Science students were also less likely to have had sex compared to their counterparts in other faculties, the study found.

What sluts! The best part, however, is the blogger's prespective on all of this:

Parents take note of this Australian study. Here, finally, is the reason to discourage your teenage daugther not to study art: she’ll be having sex, lots of it, not studying and she may even catch sexually transmitted diseases. I don’t think this finding comes as much suprise to parents.

We don't know. We've known some slu-tay physics majors in our day.

[Minor Matters: Art students very sexually active, science nerds study]

Related:

New York Women: A Bunch of Sluts?

See, Dad? Having Tattoos Does Not Make Me a Drunk Slut.

Escape From New York: 1 In 4 New Yorkers Has Genital Herpes

Fan Artwork For The Shining Almost As Cool As The Movie

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 14:46:00 GMT

The Shining: it's one of the best horror movies of all time (we're speaking about the Kubrick version, of course, and not the Stephen King-led miniseries adaptation which we will hopefully forget about one day.) There are even reportedly rad parties at the original hotel where the movie was filmed. But we haven't been able to get behind the fan art community that has sprung up in recent years.

Until now, with these beyond-awesome prints and paintings that somehow make the film even cooler...

Here are our favorites:

By the way, the above piece of art is Mixed Media on Wood, which, of course, makes it seem much cooler than if it was just some InDesign printout. It, as well as the other three seen above, are bargains at $150-200 on this website.

Seriously, if you like these, you should check out the rest.

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What's It Like Having Strangers Eat Off Your Naked Body?

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While You Were Sleeping: The Third Iron Man

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 13:08:00 GMT

A while back, we told you about the man in Duncanville, Texas facing trial for operating a swingers club out of his home. He was convicted yesterday of misdemeanor charges that had accused him of operating a sex "business."

Now Playboy is selling off its art collection to help stay afloat.

An anonymous blogger for The Frisky talked about her labiaplasty:

My unruly butterfly wings—otherwise known as my labia—interfered with my sexual activities. Riding a bike for more than 15 minutes? Painful. Camel toe? Obvious. Intercourse? Lube did little to relieve all that smooshing, pulling, stretching, especially when condoms were involved.
And then there were the unsolicited anatomical editorials that I’d received over the years, ranging from the respectfully observant, “You’re very floral,” to the horrifying, “Damn, girl. You got a fat p***y!,” to the complimentary, “Actually, I like it full and lippy ... That’s my thing.”

Obnoxious jerks that we are, we thought only dudes had problems with bike seats. Meanwhile...

This is a very interesting rundown of Senate and Congressional races in the A through H states.

Britney Spears will have her financial and business affairs permanently overseen by Papa Spears.

Michael Caine and Scarlett Johansson will host the Nobel concert on December 11th, featuring Diana Ross, Feist and others.

The Iron Man crew is doing The Avengers as well? Then we're suddenly excited for that one...

And Steven Page of Barenaked Ladies fame is not going to have to do hard time.

Related:

While You Were Sleeping: The Madonna Marriage Meltdown

Robert Downey Jr. Used to Love Himself, Compulsively.

The MTV Movie Awards: More Entertaining Than We Wanted Them To Be

Swingers Vs. Nudists In Florida (Of Course)

Deep in the Heart of Texas, Swingers Make Lousy Neighbors

Sloppy Seconds: The Million-Dollar Strip Club Buy

Paris Night Club Says You Can Never Start 'Em Too Young

Ina Maier — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 19:15:00 GMT

A new nightclub has just opened in Paris and if you think you're getting in, think again. They've got a very strict entrance policy...

The New York Times' describes a recent Saturday scene:

There was a crowd seven deep on Saturday outside one of the hottest clubs in Paris. Young people were pleading to get in, but the woman with the clipboard behind the velvet rope would not budge. There was some crying.

“Too old,” the clipboard woman said in French to a photographer, who was snapping pictures every time the door opened to reveal a peek of a padded red room with glittering lights and the promise of V.I.P.’s inside. One apparently overstimulated patron was passed out on steps outside.

At BabyDisco, they don't mess around. All patrons must be between the ages of 3 and 7. (Seriously. They're checking ID's.) Anywhoo, before your imagination runs away with images of boozing babies and inebriated infants, we should clarify. It's some sort of whack-a-doodle, yuppie art installation in Paris' Palais de Tokyo museum. The inspiration? To "introduce children to the creative aspects of dance, music and video."

Oh, and it's sponsored by Little Marc Jacobs. But, of course!

via The New York Times

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Presenting High Heeled Shoes... For Babies

Let There Be Babybook

Babies at Babeland: Wrong for So Many Reasons

Today in Anatomical Wallpaper...

Emily Farris — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 16:08:00 GMT

Pretty wallpaper, right?

Look closer.

It's urinary tract wallpaper. Designed by California-based artist Shannon Wright, "This wallpaper depicts exuberantly healthy human urinary tracts. It was inspired by a friend's suggestion: 'You should really make art about your hypochondria. You've got a gold mine there.'"

It actually kind-of goes with the color scheme in our living room...

[LA Weekly via BoingBoing]

Sock It To Me

"This Lifelike Baby Doll Has a Surprise Just For You!"

Nothing Hotter Than Robots Getting It On

Will "Controversial" Naked Sculpture of Michelle Obama Hurt the Campaign?

Nicole Pasulka — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 19:14:00 GMT

Artist Daniel Edwards, who has previously created sculptures of Paris Hilton's Autopsy, and Suri Cruise's first bowel movement, is at it again. This time his subject is none other than Michelle Obama.

And, as you can imagine, Edwards brought the controversy once again with his topless Michelle Obama bust below:

According to The Telegraph:

The powerful clay work shows Mrs Obama in the style of an African Queen, wearing large hooped earrings and an "afro pick" comb in her Egyptian-influenced hairstyle.

An American flag is tattooed across her naked chest and the comb is decorated with pearls, the traditional garb of a First Lady, and an American Eagle.

The bust, entitled "Michelle Obama's Makeover for America" goes on display at the Leo Kesting Gallery in New York on October 1.

It should go without mentioning that the sculpture was not sanctioned or commissioned by the Obamas.

We understand that the Presidential campaign is a highly charged, very close political race. We also understand the desperate need for image control when running against a candidate who manages to turn community organizing over working as a highly paid corporate drone into a slur. So whether or not the tongue-in-cheek, sensationalistic, questionably offensive artistic rendering of Michelle Obama will hurt the campaign, we're pretty sure this racy sculpture will help Daniel Edwards.

While You Were Sleeping: The Playboy Selection Process

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 13:07:00 GMT

When in Atlantic City, it's probably best not to approach total strangers about marijuana purchases:

Police said the drug deal went sour when the man took them to a desolate road in Egg Harbor Township near the Atlantic City International Airport, pulled and gun and forced them to strip before dumping their purses and robbing them.

Every time Obama speaks, an angel... has an orgasm?

How does Hugh Hefner choose his Playboy bunnies?

“We don’t go for glamour — what we are looking for is a very natural girl-next-door look,” he told Pop Tarts. “I think that’s what set things at the very beginning — what set the Playmate centerfolds apart.”
“Scarlett Johansson and Angelina Jolie,” he said [are the hottest women in the world.]

Damien Hirst sold a painting of a pickled shark for almost ten million pounds. We're not sure what a pickled shark is, but it sounds mighty tasty!

Comedian Al Franken is tied with incumbent Senator Norm Coleman in Minnesota's hottest (not in the "sexy") race.

Speaking of SNL, Amy Poehler is not returning to the show after her planned maternity leave.

And what do we think of Katherine McPhee's outfit? Hot or... dreadful?

Photo via Egotastic.

Related:

The War On Sex Rages On...

RNC Day Two: Eloquence No Substitution For A Record...

While You Were Sleeping: Jessica Alba's Bondage Ad

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While You Were Sleeping: Leighton Meester's Jail Story

Who Would You Rather, Scarlett Johansson or Natalie Portman?

Rachelle Leah Is Playboy's November Cover Girl

If There's One Way to Make The Tragedy of 9/11 Worse, This is It

Emily Farris — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 19:58:00 GMT

Remember earlier today when we said we wanted to forget that it's the seventh anniversary of the World Trade Center terrorist attacks? Well, ladies and gentlemen, artwork like this is why.

After the jump: "free fries for your suffering" and "like a Jesus rising up from the ashes."

More pain and suffering at Wonkette.

Artist Steve Powers Is Waterboarding at Coney Island

Nicole Pasulka — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 16:38:00 GMT

Step right up and catch a glimpse of Coney Island's "Waterboard Thrill Ride." Artist Steve Powers has created an installation at New York City's Coney Island beach and amusement park depicting the act of waterboarding on dummies in a freak show cage.

Says Powers:

"I wanted to make the perfect Coney Island experience. Something that captivates, that's an immediate visceral reaction and that lingers in the memory," he said, speaking in front of his booth, which features an image of SpongeBob SquarePants saying, "It don't Gitmo better!"

As part of the project Powers and several lawyers subjected themselves to actual waterboarding in a private Coney Island demonstration.

"It was a terrifying experience," said Karin Kunstler Goldman, 64, an assistant New York state attorney general. "The fact that it took place near roller coasters and cotton candy sends an important message: We here can engage in frivolity and fun at a time when in our name this is happening to people somewhere else."

As Coney Island enthusiasts we're sorry we missed this (it left the park last Friday and is on view at the Park Avenue Armory, although we did clue you in on it it awhile back) if just to judge for ourselves whether it was sensationalist and gross or effective political art.

What do you think? Is a waterboarding carnival cell "silly and political and educational all at the same time" or "messed up"?

The 2008 Mermaid Parade Rocked Our Partially-Nude World

Dog Sh*t Art Piece Floats Away, Lands In Children's Home

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 15:21:00 GMT

Only July 31st, an exhibit by American artist Paul McCarthy floated away from the grounds of a Switzerland museum, its curators admitted yesterday. Before it could be grounded, the art piece, entitled "Complex Shit," had smashed a greenhouse window, brought down a powerline, and scared the, um, shit out of the locals...

According to Breitbart, the piece

is the size of a house. The wind carried it 200 metres from the Paul Klee Centre in Berne before it fell back to Earth in the grounds of a children's home, said museum director Juri Steiner.
The inflatable turd broke the window at the children's home when it blew away on the night of July 31, Steiner said. The art work has a safety system which normally makes it deflate when there is a storm, but this did not work when it blew away.
Steiner said McCarthy had not yet been contacted and the museum was not sure if the piece would be put back on display.

Anorak jokes that its "Vomit In Sock" now has some serious competition for the Turner Prize. Comments about "that sculpture having the runs" can be included in the comments section or kept to oneself...

Related:

Art Apparently Has Nowhere Else to Go

Score! Photographer Pulls Off Public Nude Shoot Despite Police Invasion...

Magazine Fights Censorship With Nude Six-Year-Old Cover Girl

Grope The Sculpture, Live Forever

Here's A Promotional Idea: Park A Hot Tub Full Of Naked Women In Your Storefront Window

The Whole World Would Get Naked In The Rain For Spencer Tunick

Calling All Wannabe Patrons of the Arts

Nicole Pasulka — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 18:58:00 GMT

Brooklyn-based artist James J. Williams III is selling off piles of random crap from his apartment.

This is "The Goodbye Box." Retailing for $100, items include:

One (1) VHS of “Kissing a Fool” left at 586 Dean by Mollie Sue Steenis when she moved back to Florida.
One (1) white art-handling glove.
key ring with Fisher-Price plastic keys that once belonged to Eddie Lloyd during his raver days.
One (1) melted red candle in a candlestick.
One (1) N’Sync t-shirt, with pre-fab tears. Never worn. Handed down by Rebecca Shulman.

Do not let the opportunity to own other people's shit pass you by! Judging by how much of this crap once belonged to someone else, James J. Williams III certainly didn't.

Dig deep folks, and help James turn his "most cherished possessions," into a bold critique of our assumptions about property, ownership, art and rent money.

Iowa Strip Club Features 17-Year-Old Dancer, Claims Artistic License

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 14:33:00 GMT

In Iowa, in the land where they let the children cry, a man is on trial after police learned a seventeen-year-old girl had twice performed at his strip club... or is it his performing arts center?

Clarence Judy owns a venue called Shotgun Geniez in the town of Hamburg. (We had to check to make sure this was, in fact, in the United States and not Germany before writing this.) No one is questioning this or the central event of the case, that

a 17-year-old got on stage at Shotgun Geniez and danced fully nude twice the night of July 21, 2007. The pivotal question was whether or not that was permissible under the Iowa law that exempts theaters, concert halls, art centers, museums, or similar establishments from public decency laws.

Judy argues that, for several reasons, he isn't responsible for what happened, claiming that because performers are independent contractors, they are not employees. He also says they are not required to perform in the nude, although he admits that most attendees are there for the T&A. He hands out sketchbooks, which is hilarious bullshit from our point of view, hoping that either a) patrons will draw the models like it's some sort of night class or b) people will actually believe he's trying to turn his girls into artistic nudes.

Judy testified that the girl was snuck into the club by her friends and that he didn’t see her go in.

“If I would have seen her I would have ID’ed her because I didn’t know her,” he said in court.

He said the group of eight was crammed into the small entry way and blocked his view from the window purposefully.

The venue's website calls itself a "Sensual Entertainment Theater," although the web address contains the phrase "stripclub": http://shotgungeniez.iowastripclubs.com/

Via Nebraska City News-Press (Iowa.)

Grope The Sculpture, Live Forever

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 14:59:00 GMT

First, they unveiled an oversized tribute to the enema in a town square. Now, Russia is trying to one-up itself with this latest piece of public art.

A Russian sculptor inspired by a visit to Amsterdam's notorious red-light district has created a bas-relief sculpture of a woman's breasts, now on display in a south Russian town, local authorities said.
The sculpture, lying on a one-meter-high plinth in a park in the town of Bataysk, near Rostov-on-Don, features a pair of breasts being fondled by a man's hand.

A spokeswoman for the Bataysk administration told RIA Novosti that the sculptor, Anatoly Sknarin, "saw a similar composition in Amsterdam" on a paving slab in the red-light district and decided to emulate the work in his home town.

She said the sculpture's base will be soon plastered and painted, and will display a suggestive message in verse, encouraging men to touch the breasts to "improve their manly strength" and "stay young forever."

Is anyone even remotely surprised that a man created this work? And that a man is going to encourage other men to grope the artwork... and that big, firm breasts equal longevity? Okay, the last part makes some biological sense, at least, but this is still, in some ways, a big Cro-Mag limp back to the Dark Ages, no?

Via the Russian News and Information Network.

Related:

Russians Worship The Enema (because it would've been too offensive to pun "Russians Surrender To The Enema," wethinks.)

A Walk in the Sexy Park

Emily Farris — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 16:50:00 GMT

We love parks. And we love sex. So we're super excited about Jeju Land, a sculpture park in Korea dedicated to sexual pleasure, which has 100 works on permanent display — many of which are after the jump. We'd say they're not safe for work, but if you get caught looking, just belittle your boss and accuse him of having no cultural appreciation.

[Next Thing via YBNBY]

Related:

Murakami Masturbation Sculpture Sells for Millions

We Can Imagine What Pete Doherty Had for His Last Supper

Wax Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore Now Starring in Our Nightmares

Ever Wondered Who's Picking up the Phone Sex Line?

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 16:13:00 GMT

Scanner Nicole's home away from home, The Morning News, has an amazing photo gallery of phone sex operators in their bedrooms. The pics are from Phillip Toledano's new book Phone Sex and Rosecrans Baldwin interviews the photographer about his work.

But the best part, by far? The blurbs below each photo where operators describe their jobs. According to this lovely lady:

“Gary was watching a ‘World’s Strongest Women’ show and saw a woman pick up a motorcycle.
‘Oh I could do that,’ I offered.
‘Could you?’ he responded, breathless.
‘Yes. How much do you weigh?’
‘160.’
‘Oh. I could bench-press two of you.’
‘Oh my god… I’d like to see you lift up my girlfriend’s car.’
‘What kind of car does she have?’
‘A Mazda Miata.’
‘Oh yes, I could pick up a Miata. In fact, I would love to.’
‘Really?!?!??! Oh my god! What if my girlfriend was inside?’
‘I would just pick it up, lift it to my shoulder level, and then hoist it up over my head, with your girlfriend inside. I’d slowly turn around in a circle with it held up in the air, with your girlfriend screaming in the front seat.’”

A part of me may miss getting paid for this when I move on.

Actually, so will we. This stuff is gold. We may be looking at a new career. Goodbye student loans--hello sexy phone voice.

Scanner Nicole Interviews Artist and Real Doll Owner Amber Hawk Swanson

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 14:33:00 GMT

Photo: To Have, Cake Cut, 2007

Fresh out of grad school, Artist Amber Hawk Swanson was looking for love and a new project--so she had a RealDoll made to look just like her. The result—Amber Doll—would become her collaborator and companion. Since then, Amber Hawk Swanson and Amber Doll have traveled the country documenting public response to their complex and controversial relationship. AHS emailed with Scanner’s Nicole Pasulka about her show at Locust Gallery through June 28, why she was after a sex-doll double in the first place and the surprising, sometimes violent, reactions people have to her work.

Nicole: You commissioned a look-alike RealDoll who is now featured in your photography and video work. What made you want a doll?

Amber Hawk Swanson: After completing a project that involved imaging myself in a sexual way and afterward receiving responses that involved stories of sexual assault, I began reading about sexual assault and the compulsion to reenact trauma. I kept reading the words victim and victimizer and they seemed to exist on two ends of a spectrum that described violence. I found myself more interested in the way those two words potentially overlap. On a conceptual level I was interested in merging them, and as a performer I wanted to embody them simultaneously.

At the same time, I was lonely and found myself longing for companionship. I happened to read a Salon.com article "Just like a woman" by Meghan Laslocky on the subject of RealDoll owners and something clicked. I started "lurking" on Doll Forum, a meeting place site that I linked to from the article, and felt a real affinity to the community of primarily men who own or desire RealDolls. From there I contacted Abyss Corporation, the company that produces RealDolls and began inquiring about a custom order. After a few weeks of negotiating the process, I made arrangements to fly to Los Angeles on my 26th birthday (so Amber Doll and I could share birthdays) to get digitally scanned. From the scan, a Styrofoam printout was produced and the first mold was made. After a few months of waiting for Amber Doll to arrive, I flew to San Marcos, California, where Abyss Corporation is located, to shoot a four-day "Making-of Amber Doll" documentary.

NP: Are you and Amber Doll collaborators?

AHS: At one time I thought of my work with Amber Doll as a collaboration, because I was wrapped up, in a heartfelt way, with the lived performance of experiencing her as a romantic partner and as one of the subjects in my/our work. I was also, at one time, thinking of her as an extension of self and as a negotiation of self. Lately, I've been thinking about Amber Doll as my sexually available silicone replica, which is how she ultimately appears in my work. I take her to ritualized spaces such as wedding receptions, tailgating parties, sorority houses, and theme parks and observe, without intervening, the way that she interrupts the social codes of the space. I still seem to embody victim and victimizer simultaneously in that I abandon Amber Doll to what often ends up as aggressive groups of people "exploring" her. I've been interested in the way Amber Doll is also interpreted as a proxy for me, in seemingly safe or jovial settings like the football tailgating party that I usually describe as having the potential to "take a turn."

NP: Is your relationship still personal and professional?

AHS: While waiting for her arrival, I certainly imagined what Amber Doll and I might do for each other emotionally. After we were finally united, I spent time trying to understand the major impact she'd had on my life. Now, however, while there may be leftover feelings and expectations over our potential personal relationship, we've landed in a space that's much more professional. Just as soon as I profess our professional and not personal relationship, however, I'm sure I'll start missing her (she's currently still in Miami for an exhibition) but I can safely say that for the past six months of production work for To Have, To Hold, and To Violate: Amber and Doll we've been strictly business. We've traveled together, posed together, and met an amazing number of people interested in touching one or both of us, but all for the artwork.

NP: What kind of response have you gotten to your current solo show at Locust Projects in Miami?

AHS: For the show, Amber Doll is participating what I'm calling a "funerary installation," where she is laid out in a casket, surrounded by fresh flowers. A surveillance camera that corresponds to a live feed of viewers' actions with the doll records her casket, along with the area surrounding it. The viewers interacting with Amber Doll are separated from the viewers watching them on the surveillance monitor by a freestanding wall, so after people finish exploring her in the funerary installation, they walk around the wall to discover the monitor and a crowd of onlookers.

NP: How did people react to being so close to Amber Doll in a funeral and gallery space?

AHS: I witnessed perhaps the most aggressive response to Amber Doll's presence at the opening reception for the exhibition while joining the crowd of people watching the live feed monitor. A man wound up and forcefully punched Amber Doll in the face, which ultimately tore her silicone from mouth to jaw. The mediated experience of watching her get punched on the surveillance monitor somehow made it all the more surprising—despite having watched countless other aggressive acts towards Amber Doll throughout the past year and a half.

Lucien Freud Nude Sets Record Auction Price For Living Artist: $33M

Bryan Christian — Wed, 14 May 2008 16:33:00 GMT

It's called "Benefits Supervisor Sleeping," and last night it netted 33 million samoleans at Christie's auction house in Manhattan. Which, if you're paying attention, would get you a few hundred of those Gisele shots from a few months back. Justified? Who can say; it's art. That shit hasn't made sense since the Japanese bought the Mona Lisa or whatever.

Oh, here's something we can say with certainty: you can click through for a larger version of "Benefits Supervisor Sleeping," which you can download and save. That'll be 33 million dollars, please.

Click to popup a larger version and then right- or ctrl-click to save.

[via CNN]

We'll Donate To Spermcube.org If You Will

Bryan Christian — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 17:57:00 GMT

It's been a while since we've encountered something that made us throw up in our mouths a little. Last time around, it was yogurt cultured from someone's hoo-hah. Now... now, it's a cubic meter of refigerated sperm being collected by French artist Philippe Meste. Yuck.

The ‘Spermcube’ contains all the possibilities of life, all possible figures in distressing agglomeration, one on top of the other, without a background, or with their own interlacing and gesticulation as background, a biopolitically incorrect machine celibataire that generates anonymity, undifferentiated and powerless life.

Sure does. You know what else it's got? 264 gallons of goopy, clotted spooge. Ohhh, yeesh... right now, in our throat, it feels like we just did that one shot of tequila where you're like "Seriously, that was fucking stupid," and start to figure out where the nearest exit/bathroom is.

Still, we like art, and we like random French shit, and we like having orgasms, so we'll make a pledge to all of you right here and now: if we can get five dudes to commit to joining us, we -- meaning me, Scanner Bryan -- will get over our disgust and pledge to donate a lovin' spoonful of our own little sailors to the project. That apparently entails sending a note to the artist and getting some sort of "donor kit," which we're assuming we fill up and mail back, or maybe they send the Sperm Fairy to get it or something, and probably doing some sort of interview with us about it later so that we can blog it all.

So gentlemen, who's with us?

You Missed It: Michel Gondry's Be Kind Rewind Exhibit

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:41:00 GMT

In case you were preoccupied with Pillow Fight 2008 or were too burned out from all the fun you had at his "Science of Sleep" exhibit last year, we checked out Michel Gondry's "Be Kind Rewind" exhibit at Deitch Projects in New York City on Saturday, the outré installation's final day, so you didn't have to.

The entire gallery consisted of small film sets installed by Michel Gondry, director of the VHS-video store comedy "Be Kind Rewind." Each day of the installation's run, groups of friends and/or strangers spent about an hour making their own short films using these sets, with help from curators and other special guests. At any time, there could be dozens of clumsy indie films being made in the building, with few rules and no real supervision.

The exhibit, which opened on February 16th, included sets for old timey cafes, campsites in the forest, a homeless person's "village," a mall escalator, a train compartment, and even some miniatures. Patrons signed out small mini-DV cameras and were given free reign to make their own flicks, which were then screened in an alcove near the gallery's entrance/exit, a reward for completing the "task," as Deitch/Gondry referred to the filmmaking process.

This one, from Watergun Films, is already up on YouTube. We need more of these DIY clunkers, as a matter of fact; they're so much more charming than unfunny Hollywood "indies" like "Be Kind Rewind."

[Top Photo: La Mariposa]

[Middle Photo: This Week in NY]

[An extensive interview with Michel Gondry on the film and the installation.]