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10 Sexiest Women Over 50 (Part Two)

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 20:56:00 GMT

We continue our two-part series with some of the screen's top stars... some of whom are still box office draws, despite what the media wants you to believe...

Helen Mirren, 63

Helen Mirren never has to worry about studly husband/director leaving her for one of his younger leading ladies, since none of them can hold a candle to her talent, classiness, sex appeal, and status as an Academy Award-winning screen legend. The above photograph of the star in her bikini last year lit up internet wires across the globe-- for example, our traffic went through the roof the day we posted it. Thank you, Helen Mirren, for being our muse.

Carly Simon, 63

It's been a long time since James Taylor spotted Carly Simon's "incredible long legs" passing by on a summer day in a small Massachusetts town. Since then, she wrote a song about him, "You're So Vain," (or was it Warren Beatty?), won several Grammy's, topped the charts a million times over, and developed a solo career that has long outpaced her (now ex-)husband's. Simon and her gloriously pretty teeth and, we're guessing, still-dynamo gams continue to record and tour... but not often enough.

Susan Sarandon, 62

Tim Robbins whined about not being able to vote as his regular polling site last November, which must've made him feel really ridiculous when he woke up the next morning and realized, "Holy balls! Forget all my troubles-- I'm still sleeping next to the babe from Bull Durham any Playboy's best boobs 1981!" Speaking of those marvelous mams, it's difficult to pull off a dress like that at any age, let alone hers, without causing a media (i.e. tabloid journalism) firestorm, but here she is in all her glory...

Meryl Streep, 59

If anyone out there worries about how their "looks" will hold up at the age of 59, just take a gander at the Before and After photos of Streep depicted above. She is one of the greatest actors of all time, rivaling Olivier and Hepburn, and draws hundreds of millions in box office every year as one of the biggest names on the planet. But more importantly, at least for our purposes here, Streep is somehow more beautiful than even in 1977, when we first saw her in Julia. Can a nude, comic romp in a "getting old and falling in love" movie with Jack Nicholson be far behind?

Pam Grier, 59

Can you believe there's an African-American actress in her fifties who made a major comeback more than ten years ago and is still a major star, albeit on television, as she approaches her 60th birthday? Well, you wouldn't know it from the media. The announcement that she was joining the cast of the Showtime series the L Word was met with little tongue-wagging. Of course, that all changed the moment we saw how drop-dead gorgeous she remains-- not to mention the collective sigh of relief when it turned out the show's writers weren't going to blaxploitate her into irrelevancy. We eagerly await her next career move now that the show is sadly off the air.

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10 Sexiest Women Over 50 (Part One)

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 20:29:00 GMT

With the release of two more Michelle Obama-led magazine covers this month, we started to wonder that, if forty is fabulous, what happened to adoration for fifty-year-old women? Seriously, besides this month's essence, which features 45-year-old Obama and her 71-year-old mother, when was the last time you saw a fifty-plus woman on the cover of an American magazine? (AARP doesn't count, damn it.)

This list sets out to right that ridiculous wrong-- with ten famous women who can still sell magazines into their sixth decade...

By the way, this list is by no means complete-- we could easily do a top 100 over sexy women in their 50s from the land of the famous... and have plenty left over:

Cheryl Ladd, 57

Most recently of the James Caan-led Vegas show, Ladd could easily pass for ten years younger and more. What's extraordinary about her is her refreshing take on women who want to look younger:

I have no problem with plastic surgery. I have a problem with women who are 40 and 50 years old trying to look 20. That's when plastic surgery goes wonky. You can tweak what God gave you and freshen it up and look maybe eight to 10 years younger than what you are, but that's the limit. Otherwise it's just frightening what some woman are doing to themselves. They look masky and strange. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]

Diahann Carroll, 73.

This sadly, nearly-forgotten (well, at least by the obnoxious mainstream culture of nipple slips and big-ass-obsessed rap videos) Tony and Golden Globe award-winning actress and dancer, who famously dumped David Frost via her marriage announcement to another man, is without question one of the superficially excellent-looking women of all time. Exhibit A: the above two photos (including the one atop this post.) Exhibit B: notorious (bad dresser) and ragingly assholic Mr. Blackwell, who made one of his few good calls when he dubbed Ms. Carroll "possibly the most perfect woman" and the "all-time best-dressed woman." Amen.

Sharon Stone, 51

Yes, her boobs aren't real and, yes, she's kind of a wacko by all insider accounts from Hollywood, California, but let's not forget-- Sharon Stone is a good-looking fifty-one-year-old woman. We love that she has refused to step off the A-list and accept the usual "housewife or nun" Oscar bait roles and continues to lead major fundraisers for gay rights and other worthy causes. And even when she's in her 70s, we're betting you'll still picture the hottest sex scene in film history when you hear her name.

Nancy Wilson, 55

Nancy Wilson is the ultimate woman. There, I said it. She's a rock and roll badass, still making great music into her sixth decade on earth (take that, pretty much everyone!), became a mom just under ten years ago, and, well, it's irrelevant whether she's still attractive, although she very much is. Wilson will always have a place in our hearts for marrying that big romantic lug Cameron Crowe, who says even today that he cannot quite believe that knockout from Heart wanted anything to do with a Nice, Dopey Guy like him.

Sally Field, 62

Sally Field was once so sexy, she was able to fend off marriage offers from Burt Reynolds at his peak. More importantly, Sally Field is-- and feel free to disagree with me on this one, as I've been told I'm crazy-- she's even hotter now. Did you see her acceptance speech at the Emmy's in 2007? Not only was she jaw-droppingly gorgeous, but her acceptance speech (sorry for the offensive imagery, but it's true) stirred more than one of our body parts: "If the mothers ruled the world, there would be no goddamn wars in the first place!" Of course, FoxNews deleted this portion of the program...

Continue reading in Part Two...

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While You Were Sleeping: The Black James Bond?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 15:43:00 GMT

What do you Republicans out there think of this site, called Rebuild the Party, which looks at various ways the GOP can get back on track?

Full-length feature films, albeit with a couple of ads here and there, will be streaming via YouTube soon. Say goodbye to $15 movies, guys...

Check out why Melissa Etheridge is our absolute hero today...

Okay. So Prop 8 passed. Alright, I get it. 51% of you think that I am a second class citizen. Alright then. So my wife, uh I mean, roommate? Girlfriend? Special lady friend? You are gonna have to help me here because I am not sure what to call her now. Anyways, she and I are not allowed the same right under the state constitution as any other citizen. Okay, so I am taking that to mean I do not have to pay my state taxes because I am not a full citizen. I mean that would just be wrong, to make someone pay taxes and not give them the same rights, sounds sort of like that taxation without representation thing from the history books.

Okay, cool I don't mean to get too personal here but there is a lot I can do with the extra half a million dollars that I will be keeping instead of handing it over to the state of California.

Could this be the beginning of a new era of protest not seen since Vietnam or, better yet, pre-1776? Let's hope so-- these people need a wakeup call and if taxes is the issue that does it, so be it.

Will an anti-war Senator take over where Joe Biden leaves off? Because we could get behind that...

For those of you who enjoyed the widely-panned first one, Kim Cattrall wants you to know the sequel, which she is all but promising, is going to be a classic.

Daniel Craig thinks the next, or some future James Bond, could be, um, "coloured." We never thought of it before-- but now that we have, there are plenty of great actors out there that would fit that description.

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Video of the Day: War, Inc. Is Anti-Iraq War, Anti-Everything

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 20 May 2008 19:39:00 GMT

Although this trailer is not at all promising, we're still holding out hope that a satire of the Iraq War, starring John Cusack in a sort-of rehash of his Grosse Pointe Blank role as a hitman hired by the former VP of the United States (Dan Aykroyd, clearly playing himself) to kill a rival of his Halliburton-like company, will be the fictional Fahrenheit 9/11 of the year.

There are, admittedly, several troubling moments in this trailer...

1) The presence of Hillary Duff anywhere in the film.

2) The presence of Hillary Duff as an Asian sex kitten, which is hilarious in limitless ways. On a pool table. Troubling because it might actually be sexy, and we find being attracted to Hillary Duff about as off-putting as discovering your friend's kid is now a hot college coed.

3) Ben Kingsley, phoning it in. Which for him means simply "stealing the show" and not "stealing the show and winning Oscars for it."

4) No good satire, just a bunch of jokes (i.e. "How's My Driving?" and "that's a bombing," which is not quite satiric.)

5) We lost interest halfway through. Anyone else?

War, Inc. opens on Friday.