Scanner : alien

Sloppy Seconds: Megan Fox Doesn't Need You To Take Her Seriously

Emily Farris — Mon, 11 May 2009 23:01:00 GMT

A man gave birth to his twin, Alien style. Sort of. [The Inquisitr]

Looks like Oprah is going to have a lot less shit on her show. Literally. Dr. Oz—her in-house medical professional who was all too excited to talk poo with Ms. Winfrey—is getting his own show. [Yahoo!]

When we were growing up we seriously thought that everyone in our hometown of Independence, MO was skinny and had bad teeth because they were poor. We know better now. But why is meth so prevalent in some regions and not in others? [FlavorWire]

Wanting to not appear so poor ourselves, at 17 we lied to get a credit card. That was the beginning of our own personal financial hell. This pre-paid Discover card might have done us some good... and probably still could. [Lifestyler]

Speaking of us being poor, don't forget you can buy our Missed Tee for a mere $13. We get 10% of every sale, plus what's not to love about dogs humping legs? [MissedTees]

In the mean time, we'll follow Suze Orman on Twitter. [Twitter]

"I don't want to have to be like a Scarlett Johansson — who I have nothing against," Megan Fox tells June's Esquire, "but I don't want to have to go on talk shows and pull out every single SAT word I've ever learned to prove, like, 'Take me seriously, I am intelligent, I can speak.' I don't want to have to do that. I resent having to prove that I'm not a retard — but I do. And part of it is my own fault." [Us]

Related:

Megan Fox Strips to Underwear for Esquire, Fancy New Camera

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I Owe You a Good Leg Humping

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U.S. Fighter Pilot Admits To Engaging U.F.O. In 1957

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 15:42:00 GMT

Is this a photo of a UFO... or a game of Ultimate Frisbee?

You may have noticed that we don't talk about UFOs or report sightings and other supposed evidence as news on Scanner.

However, when mainstream media outlets start running epic stories about Cold War-era pilots coming out of retirement to discuss shooting down alien spacecraft, it's time to explore...

"I shall never forget it," he told the Times. "On that night I was ordered to open fire even before I had taken off. That had never happened before."

That's retired American pilot Milton Torres talking about an incident in May 1957 when he was ordered to shoot down a UFO and told never, under penalty of treason, to discuss the incident with anyone. Torres, 77 and now living in Miami, is apparently no longer afraid of G-men... or aliens:

His story was among dozens of UFO sightings in defence ministry files released at the National Archives in London.

In a written account, Torres described how he scrambled his F-86 D Sabre jet in calm weather from the Royal Air Force base at Manston, Kent in May 1957.

"I was only a lieutenant and very much aware of the gravity of the situation. I felt very much like a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest," he said.

"The order came to fire a salvo of rockets at the UFO. The authentication was valid and I selected 24 rockets.

"I had a lock-on that had the proportions of a flying aircraft carrier," he added. "The larger the airplane, the easier the lock-on. This blip almost locked itself."

At the last moment, the object disappeared from the radar screen and the high-speed chase was called off.

He returned to base and was debriefed the next day by an unnamed man who "looked like a well-dressed IBM salesman."

UFO expert David Clarke noted that the object may have been the decoy in a Western program trying to test Soviet air capabilities... or a UFO. What do you think? Are these saucers from outer space or... weather balloons? Or what?

Via Yahoo/Reuters. The UK National Archives on UFOs can be found here.

Related:

Quit Yer Grinnin' and Drop Your Linen, 'Cause the Aliens Are Probably Here

While You Were Sleeping: David Duchovny Can't Keep It Together

While You Were Sleeping: Angelina Jolie's Breastfeeding Cover

Thanks to 30-Second Bunny Theater You Never Have to Go to the Movies Again

Nicole Pasulka — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 16:37:00 GMT

Ever wonder what the movie Borat would look like if it was 30 seconds long and starred animated bunnies instead of a swarthy British comedian? We're not sure, it might look like this 30-Second Bunny Theater remake.

But nothing really happens in Borat--well, you know, besides unfortunate nudity and bad Eastern European accents (see Ben Kingsley). Can the bunnies pull of a movie with a gripping plot complete with unexpected twists and turns?

As their version of Alien demonstrates, nothing really happens in movies that can't be summarized by quick-talking bunnies in about 30 seconds. Looks like sophisticated storytelling in Hollywood is a myth.