Scanner : alex rodriguez

Sloppy Seconds: What Do David Lynch and The Dalai Lama Have in Common?

Emily Farris — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 23:33:00 GMT

Porn: it's where your tax dollars are going. [KMBC-TV]

A Rod—or that dude Madonna was fucking, depending on what kind-of news you follow—has admitted to using performance enhancing drugs. You know, for baseball. [Jossip]

It has been confirmed that Rihanna was the woman Chris Brown assaulted on Saturday, resulting in both of their absences at yesterday's Grammy Awards show. [FadedYouth]

How many times does Jodie Sweetin have to tell you she's no longer a Meth addict? [People]

A 16-year-old prisoner was found in the back of a judge's car. Unfortunately, it's not as exciting as it sounds. [The Macomb Daily]

Dude! The Dalai Lama is Twittering! [Yahoo!]

So is David Lynch! [Twitter]

While You Were Sleeping: Kate Hudson's Latest Prize

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 14:08:00 GMT

A teenage girl sent 14,528 text messages in one month-- proving that actual, human conversations, even ones over the telephone, are dead. (And yes, her family had her on an unlimited SMS plan.)

We're pretty sure George W. Bush's final news conference will go down in history as his most memorable. Check out the full text here.

Can someone explain to us why Megan Fox thinks she looks like this guy?

And you thought Mail Googles were useless? Turns out they're helping people who e-mail in their sleep.

Would you support a ban on cell phones while driving?

Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez? Well, they've already dated everyone else.

Congress will be televised on YouTube. We're starting to think YouTube has gotten too popular for its own good-- like MySpace, when your grandmother joined up.

And Bruce Springsteen, Shakira, Usher, Sheryl Crow, Beyonce Knowles, and Stevie Wonder are among the highlights of the Obama inaugural shows.

Related:

Thousands Run Amok In Their Underwear

While You Were Sleeping: Kate Winslet's Other Sex Scenes

While You Were Sleeping: Paris Hilton Is Not A Slut

While You Were Sleeping: The Giant Penis Show

Sloppy Seconds: Because We'd Like to Keep Our Jobs

Emily Farris — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 23:17:00 GMT

Attention sex fiends, er Scanner Readers, Californication has been picked up for a third season. [Vulture]

Which is worse? That 40% of women can't have orgasms, or that only 12% of women think that's a problem? Maybe we're just not satisfied? [Jezebel]

Madonna and A-Rod are still claiming to be "just friends." Mmmhmmm. [People]

Which well-built actor has been bought a bra for Christmas by a disgruntled ex as a dig about his moobs? [Mirror]

O.J. Simpson is finally headed to jail. And he's sorry. [Faded Youth]

Holy shit. 533,000 people in the U.S. lost their jobs in November. [NYT ]

Image via NYT.com

Caption This: Christina Aguilera Would Like Some A-Rod, Too

Emily Farris — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 16:35:00 GMT

[Image]

Sloppy Seconds: Paris Hilton Expands the Family Empire to Include Brothels

Emily Farris — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 20:57:00 GMT

The plane crash that killed four people and left Travis Barker and DJ AM badly burned appears to have been good for the survivors' love lives. It's rumored that Barker is reunited with his ex Shana Moakler and now, apparently, DJ AM is back together with his old flame, Mandy More. [FadedYouth]

Guy Ritchie is apparently pissed at Madonna for putting their son Rocco in a Yankees t-shirt. (We hate the Yankees, too, Guy). [DailyIntel]

Miley Cyrus' boyfriend was a teenager once, too. Big woop. [Defamer]

Lindsay Lohan has been prematurely booted from "Ugly Betty.: But why? [Jossip]

Gossip Girl's Taylor Momsen has been hospitalized with a "possibly life-threatening throat infection." [People]

Paris HIlton bought a London building she thinks used to be a pirate house, except, it was a brothel frequented by sailors. [MollyGood]

[Image]

Who Would You Rather: A-Rod vs. Guy Ritchie?

Emily Farris — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 20:59:00 GMT

Now that Alex Rodriguez's divorce is settled, Madonna could pretty much have her way with him—if she hasn't already, if she even still wants to. Except, there's that whole pesky issue of her husband, Guy Ritchie. If you were Madonna, who would you pick? Or even if you weren't Madonna (because you're not) who would you rather: A-Rod or Guy Ritchie?

Related:

**The A-Rod, Madonna, Lenny Kravitz Clusterf*ck**

A-Rod Brainwashed By Hot Madonna or Religious Madonna?

Fox News Thinks Madonna Broke A-Rod's Rod

Does Madonna Have A Sex Tape And Do We Want To See It?

Sloppy Seconds: The Stunning Conclusion To The Pimp Minister's Trial

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 21:27:00 GMT

The most powerful story you'll read all day is here.

A-Rod: By the way, I don't owe you anything! Except millions, of course.

Jennifer Aniston's assistant tried to stop stalkographers from snapping photos of her boss' nipples. Or so The Superficial wishes. (In any case, there are very see-through Rihanna photos as well.)

Recently-resurfaced Beatles tapes are up for auction. Bootleg 'em for us, will ya?

A nuclear facility in California, under investigation for false reporting, is receiving safety awards.

Living together first has always increased the likelihood of divorce, contrary to popular belief. A new study says that this is not the fault of cohabitation.

Britney's Dad is still keeping her under his thumb.

And the pimp minister trial ended in defeat... but for whom?

The Arizona attorney general's office says a jury in Tucson has ordered a man who ran a prostitution business to forfeit nearly $2 million in ill-gotten gains.
The jury found 52-year-old John A. LaVoie guilty of 22 civil counts of racketeering. The attorney general's office says he was ordered to forfeit $850,000 he earned from the prostitution business, $81,000 in cash police seized during a raid and give up an office building worth up to $1 million.

LaVoie claimed he was a minister of the Church of Liberty, a church he founded. He ran a massage and prostitution business in his building called Angel's Heaven.

LaVoie claimed Angel's Heaven was part of his church, and clients only gave donations. [Via AZ Central]

Related:

Who Would You Rather: Jennifer Aniston vs. Jennifer Connelly

Britney Spears Released from Psychiatric Ward, Let's Have a Party

Liz Phair Unveils The Secret To A Great Nude Photo Shoot

Fox News Thinks Madonna Broke A-Rod's Rod

Sloppy Seconds: Amy Winehouse's Spiked Drink

Sloppy Seconds: Is Hayden Engaged?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 20:09:00 GMT

A man in Atlantic City was arrested for merely "displaying" pornography in his car... including a naked barbie doll.

Local residents complained about "being exposed" to items in his car, which had been parked off an on, in the same lot for several weeks. The classic line:

"...The only thing that was found up front was a topless Barbie doll on the dashboard, two DVD's in the console, the rest of the stuff was in the back seat....the only way that anyone would know there was anything in there was to walk up and actually look in the car." [NBC]

A woman claiming to be A-Rod's favorite stripper called a Detroit radio show this morning. Madonna's reps denied the singer made the call.

Is Milo Vermtitieitithatahghgag about to pop the question to Jailbait Hayden Panettiere? Dude, she's 18... you're 31... let her grow up a bit first!

Lucky for us an even better catch is back on the market: Emily Blunt, formerly attached to Michael Buble, is rejoining the dating circuit, woo hoo.

Worst. Coworker. Ever. [ABC]

A Chilean stripper was just arrested for pole dancing on the subway. You've been warned, L train girls. [Reuters]

And the eadline of the Day (from Fark): Austrian man who locked his daughter in dungeon for 24 years asks to be let out of his prison cell, explaining that he can't stand being cooped up [Fark]

The A-Rod Madonna Lenny Kravitz Clusterf*ck

Video of the Day: Subway Pole Dancing

Who Are Your Five To Watch in 2008?

Fox News Thinks Madonna Broke A-Rod's Rod

Emily Farris — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 15:01:00 GMT

You've gotta hand it to Fox News for at least being blatant about their rumor mongering. We know the whole A-Rod, Madonna, Lenny Kravitz thing is a little hard to follow, but we really need you to put on your thinking caps for this one. Based on the Yankees' disabled list and Madonna's promotional tour schedule, Fox News thinks Madonna may have injured A-Rod herself...

Let’s start an urban legend. This one is about Madonna and Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez...

A-Rod’s second child, Ella, was born April 21 in Miami. He flew down, arrived 10 minutes after her birth, looked at her, and headed back to New York.

It’s unclear where he was between the 22nd and the 24th, when he missed three games in Chicago against the White Sox. During that time, Madonna premiered her documentary about Malawi with loads of Kabbalah propaganda on April 23 at the Tribeca Film Festival. A-Rod rejoined the Yankees on April 25 in Cleveland.

Then Rodriguez attended Madonna’s half-hour promotional show at the Roseland Ballroom in New York on April 30.

But no one’s mentioned that just the day before, April 29, the Yankees placed A-Rod on the 15-day disabled list. It was the first time he’d been on such a list since the year 2000.

That's some serious barrel scraping, if you ask us.

We want to not care about this, but if Madonna's 50-year-old vagina is strong enough to injure a professional athlete's penis, we just started caring about this story. Hell, if they both just pulled some muscles we're still at little intrigued.

Thanks, FOXNews, for giving us more fake crap to fill our brains with. You think we didn't have enough to worry about already with Mini Me's sex tape and what really happens at third base. Hey, maybe A-Rod can answer that last one for us.

[FoxNews: Did Madonna Injure A-Rod?]

Related:

A-Rod Brainwashed By Hot Madonna or Religious Madonna?

**The A-Rod, Madonna, Lenny Kravitz Clusterf*ck**

A-Rod Brainwashed By Hot Madonna or Religious Madonna?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 15:59:00 GMT

Alex Rodriguez's trainer, in an interview in yesterday's New York Post, claims that Madonna has "brainwashed" the baseball star into turning his back on his family, among other allegations...

In a bombshell interview with The Post, Dodd Romero — Rodriguez's former trainer and godfather to his two daughters who spent last week in Paris with Cynthia Rodriguez — said he and C-Rod believe the Yankee superstar has been gradually drawn away by Madonna's allure.
"Alex, God bless him, is lost," A-Rod's ex-pal lamented. "I think he got pulled in by the dark side, if you can say that nicely. He's totally brainwashed." [MSN/Fox/NY Post]

According to Romero, it all started late last year when Madonna and A-Rod began working out together in Manhattan. From there, Madonna worked her kabbalah voodoo on the helpless hulk, to the point where Rodriguez began spending late nights "studying up" at Madonna's pad.

Soon, A-Rod fell under the spells of both kabbalah and Madonna's legendary status, neglecting his ten-month-old, who, the trainer claims, has only seen her father "a couple of times."

He said A-Rod is going through a kabbalah practice called "cleaning out your vessel," which means getting out the old and taking in the new.
"To me that's a way of saying leave your family and move on," Romero said.
After hooking up with Madonna, A-Rod was soon frequenting Manhattan's Kabbalah Centre — where he's been spotted recently — in an all-white uniform, the sect's symbol of purity.

Meanwhile, as Scanner Emily reported, Mrs. Rodriguez has allegedly started shacking up with Madonna's ex, Lenny Kravitz.

Via Fox Sports/NY Post.

The A-Rod, Madonna, Lenny Kravitz Clusterf*ck

Emily Farris — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 18:06:00 GMT

We've been avoiding the news that Madonna's marriage to Guy Ritchie may be falling apart and that she may or may not be turning to Yankee's player Alex Rodriguez for sexual healing because, frankly, we don't care all that much. But then they had to go and bring Lenny Kravitz into the mix.

Now it seems that A-Rod's wife is dating Lenny Kravitz, who supposedly dated Madonna when he contributed to 1990's "Justify My Love."

Got it straight?

Okay, to recap (please assume that all of these "facts" have an "apparently" or "supposedly" in front of them):

Madonna and Guy Ritchie are headed towards splitsville.

Madonna has been sneaking around with Alex Rodriguez.

Alex Rodriguez's wife has been spending "cozy time" in Paris with Lenny Kravitz, who used to date Madonna.

Whew.

[Us: Report: Alex Rodriguez's Wife Seeing Lenny Kravitz, Madonna's Ex]

Related:

Scanner : alex rodriguez

Sloppy Seconds: What Do David Lynch and The Dalai Lama Have in Common?

While You Were Sleeping: Kate Hudson's Latest Prize

Thousands Run Amok In Their Underwear

While You Were Sleeping: Kate Winslet's Other Sex Scenes

While You Were Sleeping: Paris Hilton Is Not A Slut

While You Were Sleeping: The Giant Penis Show

Sloppy Seconds: Because We'd Like to Keep Our Jobs

Caption This: Christina Aguilera Would Like Some A-Rod, Too

Sloppy Seconds: Paris Hilton Expands the Family Empire to Include Brothels

Who Would You Rather: A-Rod vs. Guy Ritchie?

**The A-Rod, Madonna, Lenny Kravitz Clusterf*ck**

A-Rod Brainwashed By Hot Madonna or Religious Madonna?

Fox News Thinks Madonna Broke A-Rod's Rod

Does Madonna Have A Sex Tape And Do We Want To See It?

Sloppy Seconds: The Stunning Conclusion To The Pimp Minister's Trial

Who Would You Rather: Jennifer Aniston vs. Jennifer Connelly

Britney Spears Released from Psychiatric Ward, Let's Have a Party

Liz Phair Unveils The Secret To A Great Nude Photo Shoot

Fox News Thinks Madonna Broke A-Rod's Rod

Sloppy Seconds: Amy Winehouse's Spiked Drink

Sloppy Seconds: Is Hayden Engaged?

Fox News Thinks Madonna Broke A-Rod's Rod

A-Rod Brainwashed By Hot Madonna or Religious Madonna?

**The A-Rod, Madonna, Lenny Kravitz Clusterf*ck**

A-Rod Brainwashed By Hot Madonna or Religious Madonna?

The A-Rod, Madonna, Lenny Kravitz Clusterf*ck

Hot or Not: Madonna's Hard Candy?

Who Would You Rather: Chrissie Hynde vs. Madonna?

Madonna's Sexlife Threatened By Keebler Elves

Lenny Kravitz Corroborates Adriana Lima's Claim to Virginity?