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Terry Makes a Porno

Colleen Kane — Tue, 05 May 2009 17:01:00 GMT

"Meow!"

Everybody knows the best recurring character on Reno 911 is Terry, the roller prostitute in hot pants, half-shirt and tiny sombrero. In fact, he's been in pretty much every episode of the new season. `

The man behind the character is comic actor Nick Swardson, and now he's filming a starring role in a film he co-wrote with Adam Sandler, Born to be a Star, coming out next year. Swardson plays a nerd who discovers his parents were porn stars in the '70s, and sets out for a skin career of his own. Christina Ricci will play his girlfriend, and Stephen Dorff will play X-rated star Dick Shadow.

The actor playing a porn director who gives Swardson's character a shot at a porn career has a most appropriate name indeed.

Don(g) Johnson.

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Via

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Christina Ricci Was Born To Be A Porn Star

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 16:10:00 GMT

Don't take this the wrong way-- we didn't mean that title as some sort of insult to the wonderful and wildly popular crush object Christina Ricci.

Ricci is set to star in a new movie called "Born to Be A Star," which is about a guy who discovers his parents were major porn stars in the 1970s...

According to the Hollywood Reporter (thanks to The Screengrab for the heads up), Adam Sandler co-wrote the movie and Tom Brady is directing. We're assuming it's a different Tom Brady than the quarterback who married Giselle Bundchen (again) in Costa Rica over the weekend. Here's the rundown:

The story centers on a small-town nerd who stumbles upon a family secret: His quiet and demure parents were famous porn stars in the 1970s. This motivates him to leave Northern Iowa for Hollywood, hoping to follow in their footsteps and fulfill his destiny as the biggest adult-film star in the world.

Ricci, the female lead, is the guy's innocent girlfriend.

There's no word on nude scenes or, more specifically, Christina Ricci nude scenes, but we're guessing this might be a raunchy PG-13 that pushes the rating as far as it can go-- in other words, no sex scenes in a movie about... porn.

One more tidbit:

Despite Sandler and Giarraputo's involvement, the movie is not a Happy Madison production but rather by porn title-friendly entity Miles Deep Prods.

Via the Hollywood Reporter.

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Top 5 "The Price Is Right" Clips

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 20:35:00 GMT

When we were younger, we couldn't stand The Price Is Right. We've always recoiled violently from advertising and even more so from subliminal advertising and product placement. But when it was announced that Bob Barker would retire and, recently, that the Drew Carey version is going off the air next month, we felt it was time to reconsider America's greatest daytime show.

Barker has always struck us as a heroic common man figure-- a guy who put in 35 years at the same job without complaint (after all, it must have become redundant around year four), did 50 years in show business, and even poked fun at himself at the end of his career in Happy Gilmore instead of resting on his laurels.

It turns out, Barker returned to the set yesterday to film a show airing April 6th in which he co-hosts with Carey and promotes his new, for-charity memoir. In honor of this wonderful man and his charming, charmed life, we present our Five Favorite Moments From the Bob Barker Price Is Right...

5) Hordes of Excited Women Molest Bob Barker. You only need to watch the first fifteen-twenty seconds to remember why Bob Barker quit the show due to his age and serious back injuries. At 2:18, watch as Colonel Sanders pulls the same move. And at 8:15, don't miss Ethel's "dream" about Bob.

4) Tidy cats. We'll never look at our roommate's cat the same way.

3) Nipple slip! A Price Is Right model endures a nipple slip on national television. Wait a minute, this show is live?! (Forunately for the squares running CBS, you can't really see anything with the credits going up.)

2) TIE: A Model and a Gentleman and The Third Time's The Charm. Believe it or not, there were countless on-air marriage proposals during Barker's 35-year run and we weren't able to choose between these two. Try not to choke up a bit here...

1) Cheating Emerson student -- is there any other kind? Bob Barker famously walks off the set and say, "I'm going home." It may not be as powerful as the last couple, but this may have been the most-publicized moment in the entire show's history. Barker rarely got upset with anyone, but this time, you believe it...

You can watch the final minutes of his final show here, by the way.

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While You Were Sleeping: Adam Sandler Loses

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 14:08:00 GMT

Five banks were robbed on Monday in New York City. So far, no Depression-style Bonnie and Clyde types have emerged from these robberies or any others during the economic collapse.

Roland Burris, a former Attorney General, has been appointed as Obama's Illinois replacement in the Senate.

What is up with a country that starts putting diapers on its animals? Egypt, you have a lot of living to do.

Remember Tiffany Shepherd? She was the teacher who claimed to have been fired for having sexy pictures on her MySpace and a supposedly risque moonlighting gig. Now she's been arrested for harassing her ex's new girlfriend.

Never mind Jennifer Aniston, who took a backseat to a dog in that Marley movie anyway, Clint Eastwood and Tom Cruise were the surprise winners at the box office this weekend. The loser? Adam Sandler.

A soldier is suing the military for its "Christian bias."

Warner Brothers and Fox are unable to see eye to eye on the Watchmen movie, which means it may not be released any time soon.

And Iranian students, upset at Britain's support for Israel, stormed the UK's embassy in their country.

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Happy Hanukkah from Adam Sandler

Scanner Matt — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 18:39:00 GMT

You didn't think we'd forget you did you? Since we wished you a Merry Christmas with Run D.M.C. we'd also like to wish you a Happy Hanukkah with Adam Sandler.

We don't know any Kwanzaa songs. This song is still actually funny by the way. Adam Sandler always seems to be enjoying himself more than his audience.

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Porn Star Lunch Lady Scares Parents

Scanner Matt — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 21:44:00 GMT

Louisa C. Tuck, formerly known as Crystal Gunns, has incensed a number of sanctimonious parents who are demanding she be fired from her current job as their elementary school’s part-time cafeteria worker and playground monitor due to her porn star past.

The Daily Journal reports that parents insist Tuck/Gunns be ousted from their Vineland, New Jersey elementary school after learning of her former career, but lawyers on both sides of the issue say there are no legal grounds to give her the pink slip due to the fact that she hasn't done anything illegal.

Tuck says she’s only making $5,772 a year and claims she quit the industry five years ago when she was twenty-seven. We are sure some of these self-righteous parents would rather not talk about the things they did in their twenties, so why not leave the poor woman alone and end the witch hunt?

We assume this may inspire an onslaught of humor-intended pun-ridden porn flick titles (Sloppy Second Joes?) or give new meaning to Adam Sandler’s goofy adolescent 90's anthem, “Lunch Lady Land.”

::Sigh:: we miss Chris Farley.

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Photo: Wikimedia

Racism is Hilarious?

Steve McKay — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 20:29:00 GMT

The other day we started feeling a little weird while watching the trailers for certain coming attractions. It was an unsettled feeling, sort of like back in the high school locker room when the jocks would workshop their “hilarious” east-Indian accents… Oh wait… that’s exactly the same feeling we got.

Does Mike Myers actually think it’s forty years ago and he’s Peter Sellers? He’s lost his fucking mind. And that Adam Sandler movie! Is this really the legacy Sacha Baron Cohen has left for Hollywood? The Borat movie was intelligent, cultural satire designed to shine a light on and criticize racism, sexism, homophobia and anti-Semitism. You don’t come away from that and capitalize it! Did they just not get the joke? Gaaaaaah!

Okay, now that we’ve got that out of our system, we've got to ask…Why are we excited to see Robert Downey, Jr’s performance in Tropic Thunder?

I think the actor himself sums it up best:

If it’s done right, it could be the type of role you called Petter Sellers to do 35 years ago. If you don’t do it right, we’re going to hell….If I didn't feel it was morally sound, or that it would be easily misinterpreted (and) that I'm just C. Thomas Howell in 'Soul Man', I would've stayed home.

Some things just feel right. Sometimes they feel very very wrong.

Adam Sandler: "Leave Tom Cruise Alone!"

Emily Farris — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 18:07:00 GMT

Adam Sandler is drinking the ~~Kool-Aid~~ eyeliner:

"To see anyone's private life invaded and mocked like this is sickening. It's especially gross when it happens to a guy like Cruise, who's a great dad, a great husband, and a great friend."

Other stars putting on the eyeliner? Dustin Hoffman, Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder, Bruce Willis, Demi Moore, Jim Carrey, Ben Stiller and Harvey Weinstein.

We're gonna go au naturale on this one.

And we never really noticed before, but based on that picture, those two could almost be brothers.

[People: Adam Sandler: Stop Picking on Tom Cruise]