Scanner : actors

Sloppy Seconds: Parker Posey's New Man

Emily Farris — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 21:28:00 GMT

Did you catch Tracy Morgan shirtless in real life on 30 Rock last night? [Defamer]

Britan's Got Talent singing phenomenon Susan Boyle got a little makeover. [Yahoo!]

One thing we would not like to find on our doorstep? A flaming bag of poo. Another thing we would not like to find on our doorstep? A live shark. [CBS13]

A sequel to Clueless!? Count us in! Well, as long as his you know what isn't crooked. [BuzzSugar]

We hate to admit we're also pretty excited about the prospect of Chace Crawford taking on Kevin Bacon's role in the remake of Footloose. [Us]

If Parker Posey was dating Keanu Reaves, that seems to be over, because now she's being spotted around town with graphic designer and sculptor Scott Lenhardt. We endorse this because 1) Keanu Reeves doesn't seem so smart and 2) artist boys are totally hot. [DailyIntel]

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Sloppy Seconds: In Which We Consider Michael Chabon's Sexuality, Again

Emily Farris — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 22:21:00 GMT

Do you have what it takes to put together lists of the hottest women in the world (eyes, the ability to count to 100 with or without the help of a computer)? Then you might be in the running toward becoming FHM's next top editor-in-chief. They're looking. [Brand Republic]

Levi Johnston: proof that even if you're a teenage father you can still dream big. Johnston's dream? Becoming a model or actor, of course. [Gawker]

Howard Stern is now Twittering. Well, really it's the Howard Stern Show, which probably means there's a ghost Twitterer. And he is following no one. Jerk. [Twitter]

Half of the female contestants on Bravo's new show "Top Chef Masters" are "chefbians." Er, um, chefs who also happen to be lesbians. [AfterEllen]

What's Prince up to these days? Oh, just singing about Salma Hayek's curves. [Us]

How in the hell did we miss Gay Clay Aiken on America's Next Top Model? [People]

Having read the majority of Michael Chabon's published work, we always questioned his sexuality. We were not the only ones. And apparently we missed that thing he wrote about the time he slept with a man. [Queerty]

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Who Knew There Were So Many California Doctors Against Gay Marriage? [VIDEO]

Emily Farris — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 16:39:00 GMT

You know all of those anti-gay commercials featuring "real" people who are concerned for their children, their faiths, their professions, because the gays are about to infect everything and ruin the perfect lives they've created for themselves? It turns out they're not average people who happen to be super awkward in front of the camera—they're just really bad actors. And we have their audition clips.

Related:

"The Real World: Facebook" or Scanner Emily vs. The Mormons

The Gay Marriage Debate Rages on in California

This Week In Gayness: We Say No To That Yes On Prop 8

Russell Crowe's New Leading Lady Not Quite a BBW

Emily Farris — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 23:01:00 GMT

Last month, Sienna Miller left the cast of the Ridley Scott directed Robin Hood remake amid rumors that her co-star Russell Crowe needed an older, larger actress to make him not look so, um, bad. Apparently Miller was just too young and thin. So what old bag did they find to replace her?

Only one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood, Cate Blanchett.

[Us: Cate Blanchett to Play Maid Marian in Robin Hood Remake]

Related:

Russell Crowe Seeks BBW for Love, Role Play

Sienna Miller and Rhys Ifans Join The Mile High Club

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While You Were Sleeping: Zooey Deschanel's Next Record

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 14:16:00 GMT

Lily Allen's bizarre, Amy Winehouse-style rampage continues.

The stars react to their surprise Oscar nominations.

Who do you think said this: "I know people will find that as another thing to hate me on, but fuck it. I'm open to doing porn. Hell, I'll even do bisexual scenes - myself, another man and a woman, or just me and two women. I know people will find that as some weird shit, but I am who I am." The answer? Kanye West.

It's definitely over between Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling, friends. Macadams is now dating Josh Lucas.

Good for Young Jeezy for standing up to Bill O'Reilly: "I felt it was necessary."

Right-wing Democrat Kirsten Gillibrand is likely to be named as Hillary Clinton's replacement in the Senate about the time you read this.

And Zooey Deschanel is working with M. Ward on their followup to She & Him: Volume One. Hopefully, her fiancee, Ben Gibbard, will refrain from droning on in his lyric writing during their rumored collaboration.

What Do Christian Bale And Kermit The Frog Have In Common?

Today's Topless PETA Roundup

While You Were Sleeping: Lily Allen Sends Topless Pic To Wrong Guy

Russell Crowe Seeks BBW for Love, Role Play

Emily Farris — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 17:29:00 GMT

Russell Crowe is allegedly looking for an older, larger actress to play his female counterpart in the upcoming Nottingham after he threw a fit and had his leading lady fired because she was too thin and beautiful.

Crowe was worried that Sienna Miller would make him look bad in the film's love scenes. He put on weight for his role in Body of Evidence and has since had a hard time taking it off. According to Page Six, producers are now "looking for an older, plumper actress to play the role so [Crowe] doesn't look like a paunchy grandpa. Someone in her late 30s or early 40s."

The Post also speculated that Crowe is trying to get director Ridley Scott fired. No word yet as to who will replace Miller.

Related:

While You Were Sleeping: The New Robin Hood Movie

Sienna Miller and Rhys Ifans Join The Mile High Club

Sloppy Seconds: Sienna Miller Had a Bikini Malfunction, And We Have Pictures

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Mini-Me Makes Up For Size With Stamina In Bed

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 16:22:00 GMT

Memo to the ladies: never marry a man who has sex with you ten times a day-- it can only lead to disappointment.

In an interview with News of the World, Verne Troyer's ex-wife, incredibly hot Playboy playmate Genevieve Gallen pays her rent for a few months with an unrestrained (and unnecessarily TMI-filled) rant about her former lover. Gallen, who was dumped just a few months after her wedding to the Austin Powers star and featured contestant on the upcoming Celebrity Big Brother (UK), reveals more than you ever wanted to know about the B-list actor:

“We had to be creative—but because of my yoga experience I could get into the right positions to make it work. And I was soon head over heels in love with Verne.
“We could have sex up to 10 times in a single day. We’d do it for 45 minutes and he would just keep on going as I had orgasm after orgasm.
“He was a sex addict. He was then only the second man I’d ever slept with. He told me he’d had huge numbers of girls.”

Only the second man she'd ever slept with? A 30-year-old Playboy bunny barely not a virgin? For some reason, we're not sure we buy that, but whatever, moving along:

“I would dress up in my sexiest lingerie every day and try all sorts of role-play games. Sometimes I dressed as a prostitute, other times a cheerleader—and even a schoolgirl. I once put on a dark wig, some sexy lingerie and put on a Russian accent so he would think I was a high class call girl.
“There was no doubt in my mind he was the man for me.”

Based on what? The sex? After all, that's all she seems to use as a qualifier.

“I was nervous but determined we would do it that night. I had even researched what condoms to use for a little man... We made love three times that night. For me it was emotionally satisfying... But I was surprised when I saw him naked for the first time that night—I had expected him to be better endowed. But Verne’s body is proportional all over, so he was smaller than I expected.”

However, it went downhill in a hurry:

"...he was so drunk he passed out wearing his socks and boxers. At the end of the day, I think he was more in love with alcohol than he was with me.
"I heard he was in hospital and when I got there he was lying in bed covered in vomit and diarrhea...
He demanded an annulment, claiming he would only land a part on an American reality show if he was still single.

Ouch! Did Troyer really believe getting married made any difference to his career-- as if the women of the America would stop lining up by the millions if the read the news on the front page of their tabloids. Poor Genevieve...

Via News of the World.

Related:

Today In Captions We Wish We Could Have Written

While You Were Sleeping: Who Looks Best In A Bikini?

Catch a Glimpse of Mini Me's Mini Me in His Sex Tape

This Week in Gayness: Sean Penn and Mickey Rourke Get Personal

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 15:47:00 GMT

Allen Ginsberg actually believed (well, maybe that's too strong a word) Henry Kissinger would strip naked with him on national television in a bid to promote world peace.

The gay blogs are taking an "ex-gay" to task for appearing in anti anti-hate crime ads.

A divorced Mom in (surprise, surprise) Tennessee is not allowed to have her lesbian lover stay over. The lesbian lover has taken extreme measures to ensure the bigoted judge does not win...

Angel Chandler's partner, who has been with Ms. Chandler for nearly 10 years, was given a "paramour" restriction by the family court, despite the fact that a court-ordered psychiatric evaluation deemed Ms. Chandler's partner to be "a positive influence on her children." According to Jeanne Sager of Strollerderby, "The ACLU has stepped into the fray, filing a brief this week that urges the court to remove the paramour restriction, calling it unconstitutional for interfering with Chandler's abilities to raise her children as she sees fit."
For now, Chandler and her partner are getting around the ruling by living side-by-side in a duplex. [Jezebel]

If you consider yourself "trans" anything, it's better just to stay away from Memphis, as we've learned from this and other recent news stories.

Yay! Campbell's Soup is on the pro-gay side.

A New Jersey church is being sued for discrimination. These idiots think they are above the law or something? You can't discriminate against gay people, not even in Jersey!

If you're so upset at people for getting married and yet despise straight divorce, maybe you should get behind California's "Please Don't Divorce Us" campaign. Hey, you might learn something.

Battlestar Galactica has a gay character, it seems.

Poor Mickey Rourke is getting desperate in his bid for an Oscar. Check out the alleged text message he sent about rival Sean Penn:

“Look seans an old friend of mine and i didnt buy his performance at all—thought he did an average pretend acting like he was gay besides hes one of the most homophobic people i kno" [Defamer]

Related:

This Week In Gayness: Straight Man Sues Over Homophobic Taunting

The Human Herp: Ken Starr Returns To Defend Marriage Against People Who Want It

Pope Makes Insane Gay Metaphor

Top 5 Sex Scenes From... 2007

While You Were Sleeping: The Liposuction Car

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 14:08:00 GMT

A rogue church threatened to publicly broadcast the details of a married woman's sex life after she refused to break up with her secret lover. (They sent her a letter announcing their intentions, even though she'd quit attending services there.)

A former member of the White House's inner circle, who was all set to testify in court against Karl Rove and his rigging of the 2004 Presidential election in Ohio, died in a plane crash over the weekend. We were waiting for the mainstream media to pick up on this story and at least dismiss it-- of course, they've so far chosen to ignore even a cursory mention, even though it's several days old.

Sam Mendes spoke out about watching the sex scene between his wife and Leo...

Sam Mendes says directing wife Kate Winslet as she grappled with Leonardo DiCaprio in the steamier scenes in "Revolutionary Road" was "a profoundly weird experience" - so weird that he couldn't watch it. Instead, he monitored the action on a video... [PageSix]

Prosecutors don't seem to care about our rights. They don't care what the jury decides, either.

A Beverly Hills plastic surgeon fled the country when it was discovered he was powering his SUV with what he'd gleaned off his liposuction patients.

Possibly under the assumption they would lose, the Screen Actors Guild delayed a vote on whether or not to strike.

According to one paper, the economy is not stopping women from spending ridiculous amounts of money on makeup. The "lipstick effect" is in play, just as it was during the Great Depression.

A man tried to get his murder case retried, claiming two jurors had sex with one another and the guards overseeing them were inspired for some of the same. Thanks, M.

And breaking up with Hugh Hefner somehow landed Holly Madison the cover of Playboy.

Fake Shakespearean Actors Stage Colin Farrell Sex Tape

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 18:07:00 GMT

Have you heard about this live show called Celebrity Biographies where celebrities read from terrible celebrity books, such as Loni Anderson's memoirs? (Kristen Wiig, Rachel Dratch, and Sherri Shepherd are among the usual readers and the show is supposedly hysterical.)

Well, a couple of dudes from who knows where took this idea a step further-- they made this video of themselves putting on Shakespearean airs and reading celebrity sex tapes...

The actual, full sex tape can be seen here. It's not as bad as we thought, particularly once they get down to the actual sex. Here's a screenshot of the hotness if you can't watch it right now:

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Britney Spears Is (Almost) Not Completely Repulsive In Her New Video

10-Year-Old Boy Is the Lone Protester of Nude Sunbathing

While You Were Sleeping: Sasha Grey's Shot At The Mainstream

While You Were Sleeping: David Duchovny Can't Keep It Together

While You Were Sleeping: Who The Hell Is Gerald Butler?

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 13:08:00 GMT

How did a traffic cop know to arrest a random guy who was driving by him? Because the guy was driving the cop's truck.

In election news: Obama delivered his 30 minute ad to the nation. McCain, meanwhile, is resorting to attacking Obama via robocalls-- in Arizona.

Do you think this time they'll get it right in the Phil Spector trial?

This Joe the (Not Really A) Plumber guy is really starting to get on our nerves. Worse yet, he may start singing country music.

Oooh, the Beatles might have songs on Rock Band pretty soon.

We'll find out on November 7th whether the guy who attacked Noel Gallagher was drunk or just trying to save us from another Oasis album.

We think Gerard Butler is going to be the next big star. So does everyone else, which means he already is.

And this photo (seen above) should give you a hint what the new Guy Ritchie-Robert Downey-Sacha Baron Cohen-Sherlock Holmes movie is going to be like.

Related:

While You Were Sleeping: Minnie Driver Pops Out A Future Celebrity

Robert Downey Jr. Used to Love Himself, Compulsively.

While You Were Sleeping: The Third Iron Man

While You Were Sleeping: The Trial of Keanu Reeves

While You Were Sleeping: Watch Karl Rove Fight Off A Bunch of Hippies

Hot or Not? Heidi Klum's Got Milk Ad

Top 10 Worst Celebrity Plastic Surgeries

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 19:29:00 GMT

For no particular reason (well, other than that there's nothing much out there today except political news), we decided to start Halloween early: a series of the worst celebrity plastic surgeries.

And remember, kids, unless you've been in a motorcycle accident (like suave mofo Gary Busey!)-- or some equally scarring experience-- it's better to stick with what you were born with, flaws and all...

10. Janice Dickinson: Is that her or Penelope Cruz put through a brutal Photoshopping?

9. Lil' Kim: "Sorry, but we already cast Catherine Zeta-Jones as Cleopatra."

8. Tara Reid tries to reenact that Seinfeld episode with her belly button: "Helloooooooooo..."

7. Kenny Rogers -- Looks like The Gambler gambled and lost to Beverly Hills. There's nothing wrong with looking 80, Kenny, when you've always looked 79 anyway.

6. Farrah Fawcett (see top of this page.) Holy God, is that Melanie Griffith, aged by computer to the year 3028? Nope, that's the woman who we thought was going to age like Sophia Loren. Come on, now, get some help, please...

5. Mickey Rourke. Some say this was due to a post-Hollywood boxing career gone Jake La Motta, but even Jake himself couldn't have caused this much damage to this dude.

4. (tie) Jenna Jameson and Pamela Anderson. Why would the world's #1 porn star need even more attention? Why would Pamela Anderson need bigger boobs? You know when even Howard Stern thinks you're perfect, there's no one left to please...

3. Joan Rivers. Yeah, this one you know... you've seen her on E!, everyone's been ragging on her for years about it, we'll move on.

2. Melanie Griffith -- too scary to post here. Click on this link at your own peril.

1. Michael Jackson, a manchild who needs no introduction... well, only this:

Related:

Top 10 Celebrity Moms Who Could Be Hookers

While You Were Sleeping: David Duchovny Can't Keep It Together

Bill Murray Becomes His Character From Rushmore

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 15:10:00 GMT

When we were in high school, we were one of the last actors to get a call to read for the lead role in Rushmore. But before we could finalize the appointment, Jason Schwartzman was cast and went on to, um, semi-fame.

Anyway, our biggest disappointment about the experience was not getting to mess with Bill Murray all day, especially in the sequence where Max (the Schwartzman character) tries out a bunch of (comic) methods to kill Murray's Herman Blume, who is too busy smoking and drinking himself toward divorce to notice.

Now, Murray has broken his silence about his real-life divorce and internal suffering, saying that kind of life isn't as fun as Blume made it out to be in the film...

Here are the highlights... including word of a Ghostbusters III, woo hoo:

Murray said he identified anew with those characters -- like the dour Herman Blume in "Rushmore" -- when his wife of nearly 11 years filed for divorce in May. In the papers filed by Jennifer Butler Murray, she alleged that Murray abused her and was addicted to alcohol and marijuana.
"That was devastating," Murray said. "That was the worst thing that ever happened to me in my entire life."
Murray said his lowest point came a few weeks ago. When friends asked if he wanted to participate in an air show to support the Illinois United Service Organizations (Murray grew up outside Chicago), he accepted the skydiving invitation.

"They asked me on a day I didn't care," said Murray. "I didn't even care if there was a parachute..."

The writers of "The Office" have been hired to pen a "Ghostbusters III," which Murray thinks could offer a fresh take on the films, the second of which he (and many others) found disappointing.

We're not sure the fact that he doesn't refute any of his ex-wife's charges may not return him to Scanner Emily's good graces, but we feel for the guy: he sounds genuinely sorry for having screwed up...

Read the rest at CNN.com.

Related:

Top 10 Celebrities Who Are Probably Cool In Real Life

Sloppy Seconds: Are Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner Really Splitting Up?

Bill Murray: Back on The Market But Do We Want Him?

Sloppy Seconds: Why is Philadelphia Extra Sunny Today?

Emily Farris — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 21:44:00 GMT

Mister Clean, Mister Clean has died. Rather, House Peters Jr., the first actor to play Mr. Clean is dead at 92. [Yahoo!]

Bollywood is on strike! The world really is coming to an end. [Jossip]

"Can you say 'yes' instead of 'you betcha?" Number 6 on David Letterman's Top Ten Things Overheard at Sarah Palin's Debate Camp. [Us]

Every once in a while there's architecture (even-book related) that we just don't like. For some reason, this upside-down bookshelf really, really bothers us. [BoingBoing]

Things must be serious between Sir Paul McCartney and his new girlfriend, Nancy Shevell. McCartney took Shevell to his daughter Stella's fashion show in Paris. [People]

We thought we'd never be able to afford property, but apparently we're not looking in the right places. A woman in Chicago bought a house in Michigan on eBay for $1.75. We'll give her $10 for it. [Saginaw News]

We really loved "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" the few times we watched it before we decided cable was a luxury we could no longer afford, so it's no surprise that we didn't know two of the actors were a couple in real life. Did you? Well, they're married now. [Defamer]

Scanner Contest: Name The Celebrity Packages

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 18:15:00 GMT

Ah, the timeless rainy day game... Guess The Penis has been around since the time of Macbeth or possibly McCain... today, we're going to see City Rag's "Moose Knuckle Safari" and raise them one more...

Be the first to name the honorable packages correctly (or name the most) by Monday, 10/6 at 9am and you'll win a bottle of KY, two Durex fun condoms, and a strip of Trojans, all courtesy of The Pleasure Chest in Los Angeles, New York, and Chicago.

1) Hint: if you were reading Scanner last month...

2) Hint: golf isn't the sport we most identify this dude('s balls) with...

3) Hint: a Hollywood star... who likes to show off down South...

4) This little boy lost is an up-and-comer. We're referring to the actor in possession of this penis, of course...

5) Hint: it's "arena" sized...

Your guesses in the comments section.

See more packages at City Rag. Thanks, CB!

Related:

Followup: The Other Side of the Folsom Street Fest

24 Things Guys Do That Keep Them From Getting Laid

Sloppy Seconds: Pete Wentz Puts His Money Where His Penis is Not

You'll Never Complain About Your Tiny Penis Again

Blake Fielder-Civil Sends Amy Winehouse A Pic Of His Dick

NFL Player Accidentally Posts Photo Of His Penis On His Blog

Top 10 Celebrities Who Are Probably Cool In Real Life

The Josh Hartnett Sex Tape: At Least It Won't Be In Night Vision

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 21:12:00 GMT

The porn site Red Light Entertainment is offering $500,000 for the all-but-proven-to-exist Josh Hartnett sex tape.

Normally, this kind of thing wouldn't interest us... and we almost skipped the story until we read this part:

Adult production company Red Light District is offering $500,000 for the rights to distribute a video of actor Josh Harnett having sex with an unidentified female friend in a London hotel library.
“We are the number one distributors of celebrity sex tapes and we encourage the owners of the tape to bring it to us,” said David Joseph, CEO of Red Light District. “Josh shouldn’t be embarrassed. As we’ve seen with Paris Hilton, these tapes can make a career not hurt it and since Josh is considered a sex symbol, we would expect women to help increase sales.”

And apparently, at least according to this report, it's not all in grainy night vision... but maybe noirish black-and-white?

Gossip reports claim the star of 30 Days of Night and Black Hawk Down was caught on tape with his mystery companion by security cameras at the SoHo Hotel.
"Josh and the girl were getting pretty hot and heavy," a source told the Daily Mirror. "Their every spit and cough was recorded and cringing hotel workers saw all of Josh's X-rated moves."

Is it just us or is this going to be really, really hot?

Via AVN.

Related:

Who Would You Rather: Keeley Hazell or Sara Boberg?

While You Were Sleeping: Kate Moss Doing Nude Orgy For Music Video

Scanner Highs And Lows: Toplessness On Parade

Does Madonna Have A Sex Tape And Do We Want To See It?

Sloppy Seconds: Just How Good is Mini Me In Bed?

I Love Myself For Hating You: Paul Dano

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 14:28:00 GMT

This post was written by Sean Flanagan, who is filling in for Verena...

I hate Paul Dano, straight up. I’m sorry, kid's a douchebag.

I have had the unfortunate experience of sharing two classrooms with Paul Dano, star of There Will Be Blood and other recent hits. The kid is a shitbag, and film classes at Eugene Lang College in New York? Not exactly the biggest stressor I have ever encountered. More like, if you have seen enough movies, you have the basis to geek out and talk about it.

Paul Dano, though, sucked the life out of the room. Then when he had to do reshoots for Little Miss Sunshine, he was forced to skip finals. Not only was he passed along, with his finals taken care of for him, he got several EXTRA credits for being a working professional.

Another semester, roughly one year later, it happened again. Instead of midterms or attending class, he had to go to L.A. for the Academy Awards.

Then the Nylon (for Guys) article came out. Maybe the writer is a shit, but it begins in the largest sense of douche I’ve ever read:

A street corner in New York’s unassuming Tompkins Square Park isn’t the first place one would expect an actor to suggest meeting for an interview, but then, Paul Dano isn’t what you would expect of an actor.

Seriously. Hipster Manhattan Bar zone... is a surprise? They go on to meet in… a coffee shop. And discuss the pressures of impending fame.
Now, Paul Dano has added another modern film “genius” to his resume: Ang Lee is joining the roster of Spike Jonze, Paul Thomas Anderson, Todd Solondz and Richard Linklater.

Taking Woodstock is the next film, A comedic period piece (what Ang Lee seems to do best) regarding how the famous Woodstock festival came to be.

Rolling Stone defines it as being the true story of

Elliot Tiber [Demitri Martin], who inadvertently played a pivotal role in Woodstock when he offered his family’s Catskills hotel to organizers as a home base, while his neighbor Max Yasgur (Eugene Levy) offered his farm”

I was supposed to work on this film. The day I didn’t get it, Paul Dano was cast. Meanwhile, Todd Solondz was about to cast a friend of mine in his next film, Life During Wartime; he went with Paul Dano. Dano has worked with, and quite often sucked the oxygen away from some of my favorite actors (Gael Garcia Bernal and Michelle Williams come to mind.)

So, Paul Dano, who has also joined a band in apparent lack of ability to express himself, you are my archenemy. You are joining the ranks of Gwen Paltrow and Morgan Freeman. Stay out of my way and don’t career cock block me and I will try to stop telling everyone I meet how useless of a human being you are.

DISCLAIMER: I am aware that a fraction of this anger is jealousy. I would love to have his career and work with the people he has met. However, I also do not think he has deserved all of these blessings and would rather give these chances to an actor like Ben Foster.

DISCLAIMER #2: Opinions of our guest bloggers do not necessarily reflect the opinions of other Scanner bloggers, Nerve, or the world at large.

Related:

Todd Solondz Moves Reign of Terror Off Shore

We Were Vaguely Right About the Academy Awards

Oscars Preview: Paris Hilton Banned from Ceremony; Boredom and Self-Satisfaction Still Expected to Attend

GQ: "James Franco Is A Douche"

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 13:13:00 GMT

This story was written by Sean Flanagan, who is guest blogging while Verena is at the Democratic National Convention...

Everyone loves James Franco, sorta.

Pineapple Express was hilarious. Franco was exciting and endearing-- and in a good movie. But, it turns out, if you haven't seen any of his films since 2001's James Dean, you probably wouldn't know that everyone in Hollywood thinks he's a douche.

GQ, as you will see, does nothing to shatter that image; in fact, they get right down to it in the opening lines:

He's sorry about the awful movies, sorry if he was a jerk on-set, sorry for trying to be the next James Dean. But now, with the chronically charming Pineapple Express and an Oscar-baiting drama coming this fall, Franco is making sure his future looks nothing like his past, even if it involves making out with Sean Penn...

After that, it only gets worse:

1) Judd Apatow call Franco ugly and stupid:

“What I remember about meeting James,” says [Judd] Apatow, “Was that he had this really big mouth, and he was very skinny, and very greasy... We had no sense that he was attractive— we just thought he was this, you know, wannabe cool guy, but it wasn’t quite working, a funny mess of a guy, the way he performed the scenes."

2) Franco discusses a gay cocaine threesome and "email vent" about how he was unhappy with the lack of time spent discussing art and poetry during his the days of being trailed for the cover article.

3) "To watch the complete works of James Franco, as I did, is for large stretches of time a dispiriting experience.... He seems more like a witness powerless to prevent the same crime being committed over and over again."

4) This one is too great of a quote to really make anyone look bad, though:

One time when he was deep into reading a particular text, Sean Penn told him, “You’re reading that book like you’re waiting for it to lie to you.”

Of course, since Scanner loves James Franco, we have to point out that we do not support GQ's position. There's something entirely lovable about a guy who has this to offer us about his first time kissing a man-- in this case, Sean Penn:

The ﬁrst kiss of the movie was out on Haight Street, with, like, 200 people watching, outside. It was a crane shot—I’m sure in the end it will be a really cool shot, but it starts close and then it takes maybe a minute. That’s a long time on film with everybody watching and, like, a fake mustache getting in your mouth. It was long enough that you couldn’t help thinking, ‘Oh, my God, I’m kissing Spicoli.’ ”

While You Were Sleeping: James Franco and Sean Penn Go At It

Video of the Day: "Pineapple Express" Trailer

"Acting With James Franco" Comes Pretty Close to Making Us Cry

While You Were Sleeping: The Heath Ledger Investigation

Sloppy Seconds: More Naughty Miley Cyrus Photos Leaked

This Week In Gayness: Sean Penn's Next Movie

The MTV Movie Awards: More Entertaining Than We Wanted Them To Be

While You Were Sleeping: James Franco and Sean Penn Go At It

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 13:39:00 GMT

Doris Lessing, our Hero In Residence, on the teen pregnancy "craze": "I hear girls saying, 'Oh I'm not going to bring a child into this wicked world,' which means they are going to be pregnant next week."

Happy 47th to Barack Obama yesterday. Unfortunately, his staff lost their big present to him.

The Eva Mendes Calvin Klein ad has been banned from TV:

Creative director Fabien Baron was flabbergasted that Mendes' nipple flash was deemed unacceptable for Middle American sensibilities:

“You must be kidding me. This country really needs a new president — this country is so messed up,” said Baron. “It’s such a joke and it’s quite upsetting, frankly, how hypocritical this country has become. It’s OK for children to see people killed by guns? Spreading a little love right now would be a good idea.

The worst appears to be over for Morgan Freeman.

Iggy & The Stooges just had their gear stolen in Montreal. All of it.

"Lost" wants your babies.

And James Franco and Sean Penn make out in the new Gus Van Sant film, Milk, about the tragic life of San Francisco's legendary Harvey Milk. Here's how Franco describes the scene:

He tells USA Today newspaper, "We're sitting on the curb, kissing... and it's not stopping. A minute doesn't sound like a long time, but, in front of 200 people, it's a long time. He (Penn) had a beard and the beard is scraping me. Afterwards, we were like, 'All right, how are those (Oakland) Raiders....'"

And Franco reveals Penn made sure he kept things light on the set - in between takes: "He would always ask me if my girlfriend was the better kisser."

Related:

Doris Lessing Be Trippin'?

Crazy White Supremacists-- Gasp!-- Hate Obama

"Acting With James Franco" Comes Pretty Close to Making Us Cry

The MTV Movie Awards: More Entertaining Than We Wanted Them To Be

Morgan Freeman Seriously Injured In Major Car Accident

Sloppy Seconds: Poor Bernie Mac, Morgan Freeman, and... OJ?

Morgan Freeman Seriously Injured In Major Car Accident

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 17:48:00 GMT

Morgan Freeman is in serious condition following a devastating car wreck last night in Mississippi...

The latest details, according to CNN, Google, and other sources:

1) Freeman driving just a few miles from his home when he car sailed, airborne, off the highway and into a ditch. (Sources originally hinted an unnamed female woman was at the wheel, but she is gone from updated accounts.)

2) Fans tried to snap pictures of the actor. He attempted some gallows humor as he was taken, via the jaws of life, from the vehicle, and told one person using a camera phone: "No freebies, no freebies."

3) He may have been airlifted to a hospital that was over 90 miles away, in Memphis, for the best possible treatment. It's unclear why they had to travel so far if he was in such a tremendous crash.

4) Hospital spokesperson Milla Borden says Freeman is currently listed as being in "serious condition."

We will update this story if there is any news between now and the end of the day.

Bill Murray: Back on The Market But Do We Want Him?

Emily Farris — Thu, 29 May 2008 18:49:00 GMT

When we first saw the headline "Wife of Bill Murray files for divorce," we got all excited. Even though we've vowed to never date an actor, we'd be lying if we said we didn't entertain fantasies of having our own little "Lost in Translation" experience with the guy.

And then we read this...

The wife of entertainer Bill Murray has filed for divorce after nearly 11 years of marriage, alleging he abused her and is addicted to marijuana and alcohol.

The drug and alcohol addiction we can deal with; he's a Hollywood actor, we'd expect nothing less. The abuse? Not so much. There goes our Japanese hotel/karaoke fantasty.

But, as anyone who passed the fifth grade in this great country knows, he's innocent until proven guilty, so we'll still keep it in the back of our minds. Just a little. For now.

[Yahoo!: Wife of Bill Murray files for divorce]

Life Imitates Art: Actor Has Heart Attack During Heart Attack Scene

Emily Farris — Mon, 05 May 2008 19:33:00 GMT

Talk about method acting, an actor collapsed on stage at the exact moment his character was supposed to have a heart attack and die.

So obviously it took people a little while to respond to the man's needs.

Steve Dineen was taken to hospital after he keeled over during the dramatic finale of Mike Leigh's famous comedy Abigail's Party.

In the play, lead character Laurence dies of a heart attack in the final minutes and Dineen was moments away from acting out the death.

So when he fell suddenly to the floor, the audience at Musselburgh's Brunton Theatre thought it was just part of his impressive performance.

But co-star Alice Selwyn noticed Dineen's struggle was genuine and came out of character to ask for a doctor.

The actor was taken to Edinburgh Royal Infirmary and kept in overnight for tests.

The theatre's marketing officer, Paul Brunton, said last night: "It was very traumatic at the time because it coincided with the exact moment where Steve's character was about to have a heart attack.

"It was almost like real life imitating art.

"Thankfully, Steve is going to be OK. We've had lots of phone calls from the audience to check on him, which has been nice."

It's almost like how every time we call in sick to do something fun we actually end up getting sick. But that's probably just psychosomatic guilt kicking in.

[The Daily Record: Actor collapses on stage for real during heart attack scene]

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