Scanner : acting

Tina Fey Was On Sesame Street?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 13:59:00 GMT

It was over two years ago, but you think we'd remember something this good.

Luckily, Jezebel and Strollerderby broke out the video yesterday to remind us of it. The occasion? The Sesame Street DVD from that season will be out on Tuesday. Hopefully, this video will stay up on YouTube until then. (And, by the way, never let it be said that Tina Fey can't act. She manages to keep a straight face during all this nonsense.)

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Top 10 Hottest Women Size 10 and Up

Emily Farris — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 16:57:00 GMT

Late last year, as men's magazines were coming out with their hottest women on the planet lists, we started to put together a list of hot, normal-sized women. As much as we hate the idea of having to create a separate list for women size 10 and up, we can't imagine the editors of FHM or Maxim drooling over a size 10 or 12. You can call Beyonce curvy all you want, she's probably still only a size 6. Hence the need for this list.

Unfortunately, we got stuck at around seven. We couldn't come up with ten relevant, prominent women who were the size of the average American woman (14) who could turn heads. Frustrated, we gave up on it. But last week, when we heard that Anna Wintour—who, to put it plainly, does not like fat girls—was going to fill the pages of Vogue with pictures of British songstress and former Crush of the Week Adele, we enlisted the help of our girlfriends to complete the list. It turns out most of them were frustrated, too, that they couldn't contribute more than one or two names. "This is sadly hard!!!" wrote one, to which we replied, "Actually, it's infuriatingly hard." But three months and 37 emails later, we have a list of ten amazingly hot women who we assume* wear a size 10 or larger. We know we've left plenty of beautiful women off of this list (and we hope you'll list them in the comments section), but we hope you'll enjoy Scanners Top 10 Hottest Women Size 10 and Up.

10. Keely Shaye Smith
Though she has an acting career of her own, we really only know Kelly Shaye Smith as Pierce Brosnan's wife—and unfortunately only because tabloids made terrible fun of some bikini photos of her. But we give Brosnan two thumbs up for his beautiful buxom bride of eight years.

[Image]

9. Missy Elliott
We have a hard time imagining Missy Elliot in anything but a trash bag, but once she ditched that getup, she got pretty damn hot. (Okay, she was hot then, but the trash bag really wasn't doing much for her.)

[Image]

8. Janet Weiss
Is there anything hotter than a chick who plays bass? How about a chick who plays drums? Janet Weiss, former drummer for the now defunct riot grrrl band Sleater-Kinney, now plays with Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks.

[Image]

7. Sara Ramirez
She was hot as George's wife, Callie Watts on Grey's Anatomy, but now that she's bringing some hot, lesbian action to the show, we imagine Sara Ramirez has earned herself a whole new set of fans (including us!).

[Image]

6. Adele
Had anyone heard of Adele before she made an appearance on what will forever be referred to as Sarah Palin's Saturday Night Live episode? Lucky for her, and us, everyone was watching. Just a few short months later, she took home a Grammy for Best New Artist.

[Image]

5. Jennifer Hudson
From American Idol to Dreamgirls to her 2009 Grammy Award for Best R&B Album, whenever we see Jennifer Hudson, we can't help but be proud of our own curves. We usually also put on a tight dress and dance around the house to Supremes albums.

[Image]

4. Neko Case
Men want her and women want to be her. Neko Case is a woman you can't help but like, and the ~~former~~ front woman for the New Pornographers is beautiful with her firey red hair and pale skin. At first we had a hard time believing Case was a 10, but we have it on very good authority (a friend who works in the music industry) that she is. And we like it.

[Image]

3. Queen Latifah
Easy, breezy, beautiful CoverGirl, actress, singer and rapper Queen Latifah has managed to reinvent herself enough to remain relevant—and smokin'—for 20 years. Here's hoping for another 20.

[Image]

2. Nigella Lawson
Without the T&A we all love so much, Nigella Lawson could probably squeeze that little waist of hers into a size 6. But we would hate for that to happen. Not only is she gorgeous, Lawson has gone through so much shit in her life (she lost her mother, her sister and her first husband to cancer) yet still manages to make sure we all eat enough chocolate.

[Image]

1. Christina Hendricks
We have to bow at the feet of Christina Hendricks for bringing Joan Holloway and her gorgeous curves into our lives, and back into the mainstream popular culture. While she likes her dresses snug, we heard from someone who used to share her clothes that she's most certainly a size 10. And on a scale of 1 to 10, a 10.

[Image]

*Disclaimer: This size thing is based purely on our own assumptions and/or input from people who claim to know. But being a size 10 ourselves, we're pretty good at guessing these things.

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Michael Cera Flips Out... Or Does He?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 14:45:00 GMT

Is this video of Michael Cera on a movie set a real, leaked clip from a not-so-hidden camera or merely a not-funny parody of the Christian Bale incident?

If it's a fake, Cera's a way better dramatic actor than we thought...

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Ron Jeremy On Sex, His Grandma, and Why Porn Was Better in the 80s

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 19:38:00 GMT

Ron Jeremy may have officially passed John Holmes as the greatest and most famous male porn star in history. If Time Magazine is catching on to the cultural phenomenon that is hipster Ron J worship, then maybe it's time to crown him...

Here are excerpts from the epic and exciting tale of one Ron Hyatt, some waiter dude from Queens who worked in the Catskills and has always had the world's worst mustache. Apparently, he has been in an adult film or two, and got his start by taking daguerreotypes of his wang and sending them to Playgirl by intercontinental pony express, which may have been illegal.

[When] people looked up R. Hyatt in Queens... they were getting my grandmother, Rose Hyatt, who lived downstairs. My poor grandmother was being woken up night and day, mostly by guys. Playgirl likes to think that their audience is mostly women, but no, no, the majority is gay. My poor grandma had to move.
I wasn't getting the liftoff as quickly as they did. It was embarrassing. It's funny because now, years later when I am not taking Viagra and the other guy does, I am still slow to the punch.
We were up in the Catskills, and I had a very good sex life, to the point where when I was once late to dinner and told the maitre d' I was with a girl. He said, and I remember his exact words, "Anybody else I would forgive but with you it's like brushing your teeth. You're late; you're being docked pay."
I just loved acting, doing dialogue. All my friends were still doing theater off-off-Broadway and I was doing film. Yes it's porn, but it still goes into theaters. They still had acting back then. They had big scripts. There were no videos back then, no DVDs, no Internet. I came at a time they called the Golden '80s.
Most of them had been to college. Some have come from broken homes, some from abusive homes. What I tell kids when I lecture in colleges is that porn is largely a microcosm of Hollywood itself. There were kids who wanted to do something goofy and crazy. Some were actors who wanted to go for an acting career, like me, and settled for this...
I just did [a porno] a few days ago, a benefit for a great New York director who has serious colon cancer. We all did a free porn film. I did a sex thing with a sweet girl named Candy, she's actually here because we did a scene and she is staying over. (Giggling in the background.)

Here's the rest.

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We Nominate... Marisa Tomei For Best Supporting Nipple Rings

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 19:31:00 GMT

It doesn't seem that long ago that Marisa Tomei's career was made and simultaneously ruined by her winning a Best Supporting Actress Oscar for My Cousin Vinny. We saw "ruined" because the backlash began before she even took the stage-- with many saying Jack Palance had read the wrong name and many more claiming Tomei didn't deserve it either way, since her performance and role were "slight."

While these are, we have to admit, not entirely unfair (the fact that Judy Davis did not win unanimously is one of the great snubs of all time), they should not have stuck with Tomei for so long. Witness her brutal and affecting performance in 2007's violent caper film Before the Devil Knows You're Dead. Plus, her inspired comic turn in The Slums of Beverly Hills and other indie films of note.

If it takes these uncensored topless scenes from The Wrestler to restore her standing among Hollywood's finest actors, so be it...

Marisa Tomei NUDE Stripper Performance in 'The Wrestler'

Did you catch how the was able to express her character's unhappiness in very subtle ways in that one on-stage strip scene (the one where Mickey Rourke hands her a piece of paper at the end)? That's true acting-- we can't even see her face for most of the take, yet we can sense her misery just in her back and arms...

By the way, if you haven't seen The Wrestler-- go check it out immediately or demand your local theater get a print pronto.

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Top 5 Chase Scenes

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 19:12:00 GMT

While we were working on today's story about the car chase that ended in a car crash involving another, unrelated stolen car, we started thinking about the favorite argument of many a film buff: what is the greatest chase scene of all-time? Bullit? The French Connection? Toy Story?

Here are our five favorites, with enough pedal to the metal to kick your five-day week into high gear...

5. The Road Warrior. No action movie since this film's release in 1982 has come close to its quality. One of the reasons for this is the chase scene, which you only need to see once to remember in such detail. (Warning: this is gritty stuff.)

4. Bullit. Usually, this is ranked as the #1 movie chase scene, although we couldn't get past the fact that the film surrounding this sequence is plodding and uninvolving. But hey, there's a reason every action film set in the Bay Area since the 60s has stolen from this. (That means you, The Rock.) By the way, check out that dude's driving gloves! And hey, is that Goldfinger riding shotgun?

3. The French Connection. A crazed French assassin tries to escape the clutches of Mean Gene Hackman-- but the Frenchman has underestimated Hackman's insane desire to catch him. This is the formula for this chase scene from the 1971 William Friedkin film (he also directed our #1 pick), which many people believe was a basically unplanned sequence. Watching it again so many years later, it's hard to imagine this was staged, even by a crazy auteur like Friedkin-- we doubt a stunt driver would have agreed to plow through pedestrians like this without some kind of safeguards in place.

2. Mad Max - the opening ten minutes of this movie made Mel Gibson a star. Watch them now, complete with one of the best and longest police chases outside of the Los Angeles Metropolitan area...

1. To Live and Die in L.A. When we think of chases, we think of near-misses, lots of lane changes and side streets, huge pileups... and going the wrong way on the freeway. Uh oh.

Other greats include: Ronin, every scene of Vanishing Point and Two-Lane Blacktop, and The Getaway, also with Steve McQueen. Add yours in the comments...

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Sloppy Seconds: Courtney Love's Bizarre Death Rant

Emily Farris — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 22:19:00 GMT

After male superhero movie after male superhero movie after male superhero movie, Wonder Woman is finally going to the big screen—except not. It's going straight to DVD. And it's animated. [Jezebel]

Britney Spears equates her life to a jail sentence. [People]

Is Nicole Kidman going to be the next star to quit the biz? Yawn. [Yahoo!]

Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson Wentz are still waiting for that baby to pop out. [MTV]

Courtney Love would like you to know she's not suicidal after a crazy death rant on her MySpace blog. [Us]

Top 5 Lesbian Sex Scenes

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 21:05:00 GMT

You get a bonus 6th video this week, thanks to our being unable to decide between the two best scenes in a certain David Lynch movie...

5. Gia. Angelina Jolie rocketed to (semi-)stardom following her Golden Globe win for this hugely successful TV movie. There are many, many sex scenes in this film (could that be the reason it wasn't released theatrically?)-- we picked this one at random, but they're all worth checking out in their own ways.

4. Wild Things. This is more like an entry for "Top 5 Orgy Sex Scenes" or something, but there is some nice girl-on-girl, even if Matt Dillon does get in the way.

3. Better Than Chocolate. We almost included the jailbait-y Thirteen in this list, but nah. This is softcore porn for lesbians, sort of the cinematic L Word. We think that'll give you some idea of what's to come in this 4-minute clip, with the sexy stuff starting about a minute in...

2 (tie). Mulholland Drive. Still arguably the best movie so far this century, this scary-as-fuck freakshow grips you from the first frame to the widely-discussed last. Part of the reason is unquestionably these two sex scenes, one of which is our second favorite of all time. (We think you can guess which.)

1. Bound. Yeah, yeah. You saw this pick coming as soon as you saw the word "Lesbian" in our headline. Good for you. Now, settle down... we're trying to enjoy this...

Gina Gershon & Jennifer Tilly Lesbian Scene - Click here for more amazing videos

Runners Up: High Art, Thirteen, Monster, Showgirls and the Hunger (which we covered in our Top 5 Sex Scenes From the 1980s list), plus whatever you nominate in the comments section. Hell, we will probably end up doing a Part Two somewhere down the road...

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Fake Shakespearean Actors Stage Colin Farrell Sex Tape

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 18:07:00 GMT

Have you heard about this live show called Celebrity Biographies where celebrities read from terrible celebrity books, such as Loni Anderson's memoirs? (Kristen Wiig, Rachel Dratch, and Sherri Shepherd are among the usual readers and the show is supposedly hysterical.)

Well, a couple of dudes from who knows where took this idea a step further-- they made this video of themselves putting on Shakespearean airs and reading celebrity sex tapes...

The actual, full sex tape can be seen here. It's not as bad as we thought, particularly once they get down to the actual sex. Here's a screenshot of the hotness if you can't watch it right now:

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I Love Myself For Loving You: Amy Ryan

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 18:13:00 GMT

She deserved an Oscar for Gone Baby Gone. She was on our favorite show of all time, The Wire. And she's a New Yorker who doesn't act like "the quintessential New Yorker" (i.e. impersonal, egotistical, etc.)

For these and many more reasons, we might actually buy the New York Post this Sunday...

These are excerpts from excerpts from this Sunday's Page Six Magazine with one of our favorite working actresses (and thank God for the "working" part of it...)

On NBC's The Office: “I think it’s one of the funniest shows on TV. I felt so lucky to go [to work and] laugh my head off. I’ve been guaranteed to screw up at least three takes a day, ruining my makeup in the process by crying with laughter – that’s how funny the cast is.”
“I guess I should have just done a reality show, gone out in dresses without my panties and skipped the years of hard work- then everyone would know who I am. Being a working actor was always the goal. It wasn’t about fame for me. But now that I’m older, and I’ve been at it a while, I’m ready for the attention. I think I’ve earned it.”

On Gone Baby Gone: “The role was like winning the lottery. I had been playing scratch-offs for years and finally the stars aligned for me. I was up against incredible actresses like Cate Blanchett, Ruby Dee and Tilda Swinton. Are you kidding me? Of course I didn’t expect to win!”
“I grew up in the same house in Queens my dad grew up in. My family keeps me grounded and deeply rooted in New York. There’s no chance of me getting a big head.”
“I never envisioned a white dress with rice being pelted at my head, [but] I do understand the beauty of choosing life with one person." [There's still hope for you and I, Ms. Ryan...]
“I’m a Barack Obama supporter. He has the knowledge, work ethic and charisma needed to make a change. I don’t think anyone should vote based on what a celebrity has to say, but come Election Day, I hope others agree with me.”

Nope... we couldn't love her more. See the full interview in this Sunday's Page Six Magazine. There, we said it: we want you to read the Post.

Image via W Magazine.

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While You Were Sleeping: Lookin' For Asian Women

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 13:08:00 GMT

The new exhibit on sex and politics opened at the Kinsey Institute at the University of Indiana.

Ex-NBA star Kevin Johnson's run for the Mayor of Sacramento may be in jeopardy after it was revealed he (may have) used AmeriCorps members that were working with his nonprofit do personal errands for him. Oh, and there is the whiff of sex, too.

You'll never guess which celebrity is converting to the Jewish faith to please his girlfriend...

Irish actor Colin Farrell is reportedly abandoning his Catholic faith to convert to Judaism for new girlfriend Emma Forrest. [Farrell] has been dating British novelist Forrest since June, but the romance appears to be turning serious. [Starpulse]

A stolen Renoir was recovered in Italy three decades later.

An assistant principal who had a torrid affair-- with a 17-year-old female student-- will spend the next two years with big burly men.

A man in Brisbane is accused of stroking a latex vagina in front of two women. We're not sure why either.

The Playboy Mansion and the rest of Hugh Hefner's empire could be in trouble if he doesn't lay off some of his staff, according to recent rumors.

The best missed connection we saw this morning:

WHITE MALE LOOKING FO ASIAN WOMEN - m4w - 52 (QUEENS -LI)
I AM A WHITE MALE AND I NEVER HAD AN INDIAN WOMEN AND WOULD LIKE TO EXPERENCE IT. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED PLEASE WRITE BACK WITH A PICTURE AND YOUR AGE.

And Scarlett Johansson married Ryan Reynolds in Canada. Words escape us to aptly describe this tragedy.

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Colin Farrell Plays Fairy Godmother to Homeless Canadian

Nicole Pasulka — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 16:50:00 GMT

Remember a year ago when Colin Farrell, in Toronto for the Toronto International Film Festival, gave a homeless man $3,000 and implored him to get sober and get his life together? Yeah, neither did we.

But some Canadians haven't forgotten. They've actually gone as far as to track down the man Farrell gifted last year. So how's he doing?

According to this article, pretty damn well. The guy, named Stress, "was hopeless and ready to give up" when Farrell found him in a doorway and "gave him cash for lodgings, plus a shopping spree of three grand." Today, "Stress is clean and sober, has a comfy bachelor pad, goes to church and the Y and darts around town on a mountain bike."

Hot Damn! Who knew all that Hollywood money could actually help somebody. Call Angelina Jolie and let her know.

While You Were Sleeping: James Franco and Sean Penn Go At It

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 13:39:00 GMT

Doris Lessing, our Hero In Residence, on the teen pregnancy "craze": "I hear girls saying, 'Oh I'm not going to bring a child into this wicked world,' which means they are going to be pregnant next week."

Happy 47th to Barack Obama yesterday. Unfortunately, his staff lost their big present to him.

The Eva Mendes Calvin Klein ad has been banned from TV:

Creative director Fabien Baron was flabbergasted that Mendes' nipple flash was deemed unacceptable for Middle American sensibilities:

“You must be kidding me. This country really needs a new president — this country is so messed up,” said Baron. “It’s such a joke and it’s quite upsetting, frankly, how hypocritical this country has become. It’s OK for children to see people killed by guns? Spreading a little love right now would be a good idea.

The worst appears to be over for Morgan Freeman.

Iggy & The Stooges just had their gear stolen in Montreal. All of it.

"Lost" wants your babies.

And James Franco and Sean Penn make out in the new Gus Van Sant film, Milk, about the tragic life of San Francisco's legendary Harvey Milk. Here's how Franco describes the scene:

He tells USA Today newspaper, "We're sitting on the curb, kissing... and it's not stopping. A minute doesn't sound like a long time, but, in front of 200 people, it's a long time. He (Penn) had a beard and the beard is scraping me. Afterwards, we were like, 'All right, how are those (Oakland) Raiders....'"

And Franco reveals Penn made sure he kept things light on the set - in between takes: "He would always ask me if my girlfriend was the better kisser."

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Morgan Freeman Seriously Injured In Major Car Accident

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Morgan Freeman Seriously Injured In Major Car Accident

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 17:48:00 GMT

Morgan Freeman is in serious condition following a devastating car wreck last night in Mississippi...

The latest details, according to CNN, Google, and other sources:

1) Freeman driving just a few miles from his home when he car sailed, airborne, off the highway and into a ditch. (Sources originally hinted an unnamed female woman was at the wheel, but she is gone from updated accounts.)

2) Fans tried to snap pictures of the actor. He attempted some gallows humor as he was taken, via the jaws of life, from the vehicle, and told one person using a camera phone: "No freebies, no freebies."

3) He may have been airlifted to a hospital that was over 90 miles away, in Memphis, for the best possible treatment. It's unclear why they had to travel so far if he was in such a tremendous crash.

4) Hospital spokesperson Milla Borden says Freeman is currently listed as being in "serious condition."

We will update this story if there is any news between now and the end of the day.

We Saw The Dark Knight In A Cavernous Movie Theater, During The Dead Of Night

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 13:50:00 GMT

We started putting down our thoughts on The Dark Knight, Christopher Nolan's follow-up to Batman Begins, sometime after arriving home at 3:23am. Here are our first impressions-- and one of the first reviews out there that won't be from a stuffy film critic...

NOTES

Heath Ledger

First thing to mention is Heath Ledger and Heath Ledger's performance. He was astonishing, even to somebody who already knew he was a talented actor. The problem with his Oscar chances-- let us just get this part out of the way because it's the most talked-about aspect of this film-- is that this movie is a comic book shoot 'em up, dark as it is... and, worse, it's out during the summer. It could be the best performance in the best movie ever made and Academy voters will have forgotten all about it if the movie premieres less than two months before the end of the year. That being said, we didn't see it as being Oscar-worthy, though certainly worth considering for the nominations.

The darkness and violence

It's plentiful this time. This is dark like Casino Royale was dark compared to the Pierce Brosnan movies. Somehow, this movie makes the 1989 Tim Burton version (Batman) appear like, well, the 1967 Casino Royale would compare to the 2006 one. Anyway, point made: this is a brutal, creepy, shocking, and totally-not-safe-for-children action thriller. The violence is overwhelming at times, especially if that sort of thing sticks to you.

Christian Bale

Jesus! Did anyone else notice him channeling Clint Eastwood throughout? When he's Batman, he sure sounds like Dirty Harry... check out a clip somewhere (there's bound to be bootleg footage on YouTube by the time you're reading this)...

Oh yeah, the movie

It rocked. At 153 minutes or so, it was way too long-- we were playing a little game throughout called "Did They Really Need This Part?" but overall, it would've only knocked off a few minutes. Ultimately, it's hard to fault a movie with so many memorable scenes (that truck! the presence of Anthony Michael Hall and Cillian Murphy! etc.!) and a plethora of bang-for-your-buck action. And it's superior to Batman Begins, so...

Well, we're going to shut up and get some sleep. See you in the late morning. The late... late morning.

"Acting With James Franco" Comes Pretty Close to Making Us Cry

Nicole Pasulka — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 19:46:00 GMT

We have seen this clip of Freaks and Geeks and we are aware of James Franco's so-called "acting." And no one was more surprised than us to learn what a superb and nuanced "acting" coach James Franco could be.

In the first installment of "Acting With James Franco" below, James teaches his brother Dave about "Sense Memory" and threatens to jerk off into his sock. We definitely learned a lot. If only Spiderman 3 had been this moving.