Scanner : Ron Jeremy

@PornStarTweet : What U Doing L8r?

Drew Grant — Fri, 01 May 2009 15:52:00 GMT

The inevitable has finally become evitable (?) as the microblog tool Twitter lends its services in helping some of the porn industry's macrotools get laid. While you may already know that Ron Jeremy and Alexis Texas engaged in tweets and twats, porn producers Naughty Tweet and Immoral Productions are hoping to take the 140+ character service to the neXXXt level by putting "social" back into "social networking."

So what does a porno based on a Tweet look like?

"We threw the first-ever 'PornStar TweetUp' with PornoDan at Blue Moon Nights last month -- while there someone asked me if people actually were having sex on Twitter -- I responded, ‘That's a lot of pressure in 140 characters.' That led to a spirited conversation about what that would look like and, well, here we are going into production," said Pete Housley, Naughty Tweet CEO. "The movie will be a bit tongue-in-cheek, but we have the award-winning Jim Powers involved so you know it's just gonna kick ass -- but it will stay true to the spirit of the Twitterati and we will only use talent who are active on Twitter and PornStarTweet."

Still, we're a bit muddled here about how a Twitter theme can make for a sexy porno. Are the talent just going to breaking out their Blackberries and iPhones every couple minutes to update viewers on what's going on? "Kelly Divine @Justin Long No shit, your name doesn't do you justice, lol! Queef!" Blurgh. This will be worse than that time Aziz Ansari decided to live-tweet Crank 2.

Related:

Twitter Goes to the Next Level: Flutter (Video)

Twitter Gets Hacked, Or: Exactly How Large Is Britney's Vagina?

Twitter Has a Famous New "Member"

Colleen Kane — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 20:20:00 GMT

Ron Jeremy's cock is Tweeting!

Here's what you can expect if you follow RonsMonster on Twitter:

Ron is still sleeping but I've been up for hours. He must be dreaming about buffets again.

about 6 hours ago from web

Last night I dreamed that Ebert reviewed my life. He gave it a thumbs down. Then I was on my deathbed, and no one came to see me.

about 16 hours ago from web

Oh, Hedgehog. You so crazy.

His "classically trained" penis is also blogging.

Great, another dick has a blog, har de har.

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Ron Jeremy On Sex, His Grandma, and Why Porn Was Better in the 80s

Ron Jeremy and Vivid Video Are Out to Destroy YouPorn

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Top 10 TV Nipple Slips and Wardrobe Malfunctions

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 18:59:00 GMT

You know, because Janet Jackson wasn't the first one to lose her outfit live on national television...

It's difficult to imagine, we know, but even game shows in the 60s and 70s were famous for nipple slips. Luckily, YouTube, Google Video and other online sources have managed to salvage some of the most memorable moments. They're all pretty much two seconds long, but this will make you a better future Trivial Pursuit contestant... since you know that's all that we're going to talk about in 20 years, the way our Idiocracy is going.

Here are ten in no particular order...

Ron Jeremy's High School Play Video Leaked!

Tara Reid Wishes She Was Actually Listening To What The Little People Were Yelling About

Jennifer Hawkins (the 2004 Miss Universe) Returns to Australia to Moon Her Hometown

The Match Game (okay, this is more of a "nipple slip" of the tongue, but hey... break it up a bit, ya know)

Eva Mendes Was Really Asking For It This Time

N Is For Nipples - TV Show Host Flashes Kids

Haven't Seen This Janet Jackson Nip Slip Before... Is It New?

They Let the Wrestlers Beat Up the Refs, But An Ass And Nipple Slip Is An Ejection?!

As Bob Barker Says, "She came on down and they came on out!" [sfw]

And finally, Meredith Viera pulls a Justin Timberlake on Helen Mirren:

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Beyonce Stuns Lone Oscar Viewer With Nipple Slip

Nipplegate II: The Russian Skater Shocker

Mischa Barton Can't Keep Her Clothes On

Caption This: Agyness Deyn And Her Friend's See-Through

Ron Jeremy On Sex, His Grandma, and Why Porn Was Better in the 80s

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 19:38:00 GMT

Ron Jeremy may have officially passed John Holmes as the greatest and most famous male porn star in history. If Time Magazine is catching on to the cultural phenomenon that is hipster Ron J worship, then maybe it's time to crown him...

Here are excerpts from the epic and exciting tale of one Ron Hyatt, some waiter dude from Queens who worked in the Catskills and has always had the world's worst mustache. Apparently, he has been in an adult film or two, and got his start by taking daguerreotypes of his wang and sending them to Playgirl by intercontinental pony express, which may have been illegal.

[When] people looked up R. Hyatt in Queens... they were getting my grandmother, Rose Hyatt, who lived downstairs. My poor grandmother was being woken up night and day, mostly by guys. Playgirl likes to think that their audience is mostly women, but no, no, the majority is gay. My poor grandma had to move.
I wasn't getting the liftoff as quickly as they did. It was embarrassing. It's funny because now, years later when I am not taking Viagra and the other guy does, I am still slow to the punch.
We were up in the Catskills, and I had a very good sex life, to the point where when I was once late to dinner and told the maitre d' I was with a girl. He said, and I remember his exact words, "Anybody else I would forgive but with you it's like brushing your teeth. You're late; you're being docked pay."
I just loved acting, doing dialogue. All my friends were still doing theater off-off-Broadway and I was doing film. Yes it's porn, but it still goes into theaters. They still had acting back then. They had big scripts. There were no videos back then, no DVDs, no Internet. I came at a time they called the Golden '80s.
Most of them had been to college. Some have come from broken homes, some from abusive homes. What I tell kids when I lecture in colleges is that porn is largely a microcosm of Hollywood itself. There were kids who wanted to do something goofy and crazy. Some were actors who wanted to go for an acting career, like me, and settled for this...
I just did [a porno] a few days ago, a benefit for a great New York director who has serious colon cancer. We all did a free porn film. I did a sex thing with a sweet girl named Candy, she's actually here because we did a scene and she is staying over. (Giggling in the background.)

Here's the rest.

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Lloyd Kaufman's Poultrygeist Opens Friday

Nicole Pasulka — Tue, 06 May 2008 20:00:00 GMT

If you're in New York City, you have the distinct privledge of seeing the new Lloyd Kaufman movie Poultrygeist this Friday. This movie, as you'd expect from Troma, does not fuck around. It's a New York Magazine critic's pick and features Ron Jeremy, corporate fast food evil-doers, lesbianism, zombies, and "Hall of the Mountain King" as the soundtrack for the trailer...which we've kindly embeded after the jump.

Sometimes All We Need Is A Headline

Bryan Christian — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 17:05:00 GMT

NZ man 'used hedgehog as weapon'

A man in New Zealand has been charged with using a hedgehog as a weapon, the New Zealand Herald has reported.

[Hedgehog: Disambiguation on Wikipedia/Google]

Ron Jeremy and Vivid Video Are Out to Destroy YouPorn

Bryan Christian — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 16:39:00 GMT

Hey everybody, close your eyes and pretend it's 1999. Are you there yet? Has your computer turned into an iBook and does every commercial on TV have Moby in it? Good. Now, Google up something about... er, wait, sorry, um... go to AltaVista and see what Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich says about Napster. He doesn't like it, huh? He wants it destroyed, you say? Well, now, snap your fingers and come back to 2008! Blammo, you're back. Great. Remind us to tell you about what Hillary's up to later.

In the meantime, remember what you read about Lars Ulrich? Well, change "former metal God and current douchebag" with "porn veteran and Mario lookalike" and "music downloading" with "free porn streaming" and you might be able to guess why that unwieldy trip through time was necessary. (Or not.)

Quoth the master:

"What harms the industry is the Internet. Before it was helpful. Every company had its own website. Now you have things like YouPorn and PornTube that show full-length features of Vivid's movies. Who the f--- do they think they are? Now Vivid is suing them. You wouldn't see YouTube play a full-length feature of a Steven Spielberg film. But they think that it's just porn so they can get away with it. So now Vivid is striking back. Piracy is piracy, whether the film is PG, R or X. We deserve the same respect."

And to that end, Mr. Jeremy has endorsed Vivid Video's pledge to sue the pants off anyone who's caught streaming Vivid products without consent. (What they plan to do with pants we're not sure.)

Boy, hell hath no fury like a hedgehog scorned, huh? Now, we all know that he and Vivid are basically doomed to failure on this one, right? Maybe 10 years ago we thought something like this would have a shot, but now? Forget about it. Music, video, passport records -- it's all gonna be free on the web eventually. So let 'em try! What'll it harm? We'll still love you, Ron! How could we not? Jeez, have you seen the control that guy's got over his own ejaculate? It's, like, telekinetic. Mad props forever, you know? So, click on through for a reminder of the total freaking stud that Mr. Jeremy once was and will continue to be in our hearts and, most likely, our flash-enabled, no-pay browsers.

BAM! Top that! Check his shit! He's so much of a stud he's got to chain his jacket to his nipple for fear of it running off and humping someone.