Scanner : PETA

PETA's Insane Sexiest Vegetarian Alive Voting

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 15 May 2009 15:37:00 GMT

The People For the Ethical Treatment of Tasty Animals, already riding a small wave of publicity from its Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door (read: "nobody activists") competition, has decided to steal a page from People Magazine and follow-up with The Sexiest Vegetarian Alive (read: "celebrities.")

We're pretty sure that they nominated, um, every single vegetarian in Hollywood...

See what we mean at this link. The lists, separated by gender, are far too epic to reproduce here. We've narrowed it down for you, with our favorites, with some tasty photo spreads to help ya out...

The Women:
Alyssa Milano

Bryce Dallas Howard
Christie Brinkley
Cloris Leachman
Emmy Rossum

Erykah Badu

Hayden Panettiere
Jenna Jameson (!)
Kristen Wiig
Thora Birch

The Men:
Alec Baldwin
Anthony Kiedis
Casey Affleck

Forest Whitaker
Jared Leto
Kevin Bacon
Leonard Nimoy
Morrissey
Prince

Thom Yorke
Tobey Maguire

And just so you know: as of this writing, Kevin Bacon's leading everyone. Hot damn, who'da thunk it? (Last year, the winner was Anthony Kiedis, which was indeed a surprise to us.)

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Even Shoe Companies Want in On the Nude Ad Bandwagon

The PETA Empire Strikes Back

Mel Gibson's Mistress Begins the Obligatory Photo Leak Phase of Her Stardom

World's Sexiest Swimsuit Model Inspired By the Pope

This Bollywood Sexpot Won't Publicly Condone Rubber-Wearing

Drew Grant — Thu, 14 May 2009 13:01:00 GMT

Look, we're not saying that women shouldn't have the right to turn down one type of public service ad when they've already stripped for PETA, but we seriously don't get Bollywood skin star Sherlyn Chopra's decision to not do a fully clothed condom commercial in India because she needs to be "prudent in (her) choice of roles." So you're willing to take off your top for animal rights, and got kicked off the Indian equivalent of Big Brother for demanding cameras in the bathroom(???), but you can't even agree to a non-nude health ad? Does not compute. Especially after a quick Google search of Chopra's name and her movie titles (Red Swastik) turns up such luscious results. Hey, it's like we always say: Hate the brain, not the booty.

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The PETA Empire Strikes Back

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 18:53:00 GMT

After a huge wave of justified negative press raked PETA over the coals last month, the activist organization has launched an all-out campaign blitch to redirect the attention to animal rights.

The People For the Ethical Treatment of Animals, it was confirmed, is guilty of euthanizing 90% of the animals in its care every year. Ingrid Newkirk's group (of mostly white American women in their early 20s) struck back this week with Audrina Partridge, Mike Ness of Social Distortion, and a wave of nudity worldwide...

In Kansas City, Missouri, two girls dressed as cave people and wielded fake human bones to tell pedestrians and passing drivers that fur is for cave people. That annoying asshole from the Geico commercials had no comment. In a Maryland suburb, two bikini girls were photographed cavorted in a tub full of some sort of red vat, parked across from a McDonald's. In England on Sunday, four girls stripped naked and climbed into a skimpy blue makeshift shower to protest (their belief) that eating one pound of meat is as damaging to the environment as six months of showering.

Following that, the group announced punk rocker Mike Ness had joined the movement and Audrina Partridge posed for a magazine ad in far more clothing than she might wear to a memorial service.

Via KC Blog. [Please right-click and set to open in a new tab/window.]

Related:

PETA Names the Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door...

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PETA Names the Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door...

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 18:26:00 GMT

Back in February, we advised you to vote for PETA's Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door 2009. There were loads of hot men and women in the running, many of them pictured in their underwear with bulges or major cleavage-- but thankfully, never both.

The ~~People Eating Tasty Animals~~ People For the Ethical Treatment of Animals have finally announced the winners and they're not who we expected...

As you may recall, we nominated the following gals: Alexia from New York City; Amy from Port Angeles, WA; Brooke from Ogden, UT; Giselle from Miami, FL; and Sunny from North Hollywood, CA.

Sadly, our advice was ignored and the winner is...

There's nothing wrong with Amber-- nothing wrong, that is, unless you're disappointed that PETA, supposedly secretly a feminist hive, prefers blondes. How original. (Okay, really, we were just rooting for Sunny to take the top prize...)

Amber, a [Minnetonka] Minnesota native, decided to go vegetarian after reading the book Skinny Bitch and doing research on making the switch, and she's thrilled with the results! In addition to feeling stronger both mentally and physically, she loves knowing that her carbon footprint is smaller, thanks to her vegetarian diet. Amber is the very proud guardian of several rescued animal companions, and she spends time volunteering for the Minnesota Boxer Rescue. She even lets her love for animals carry over into her work as a photographer. Check out the cute companion animal gallery on her Web site to see for yourself! Amber's major turn-ons are confidence, bad boys who have a heart for animals, tattoos, and creativity.

By the way, the winner for the Sexiest Male Vegetarian Next Door is... Monty.

Monty, 33, [of Los Angeles, CA] initially switched to a vegetarian diet for health reasons, but after he learned how factory farming affects animals and the environment, his convictions were reinforced, and he recently went vegan! Monty owns a visual-arts firm, and his photos capture the essence of a wide variety of timely issues, including President Barack Obama's presidential campaign. Monty shares his home with Zeus, a Chihuahua he took in after he found him wandering on Hollywood Boulevard. Monty considers analytical minds and compassionate hearts to be turn-ons and is turned off by people who aren't open-minded. He loves to travel and will soon retrace the steps of the man who discovered the North Pole.

Both win separate trips for two to Hawaii. One has to wonder what all the Hawaiians in the running were in it for...

Via PETA.

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Cloris Leachman Wears Only Cabbage for Her PETA Ad

PETA Celebrates Mother's Day With Caged Pregnant Ladies

Sloppy Seconds: Amy Winehouse's Topless Problem

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 21:39:00 GMT

PETA is now protesting seal clubbing... in World of Warcraft.

We don't think this is the same story about a man having his penis bitten off (by another man!) that we told you about already. In this story, the attacker... swallowed.

Samantha Ronson has asked for a restraining order against Lindsay Lohan.

Great, we already own all these damn Beatles albums. Does that mean we'll get the remastered ones for free?

Man, some people will do anything for web traffic. Here's a really ridiculous Down Shirt (the new Upskirt?) on Taylor Swift. Good Lord, she's only 18, people...

Members of Congress met with Raul Castro in Havana today.

A guy who works for Focus on the Family in Colorado has been arrested for talking dirty with a 15-year-old girl, who was actually undercover cops.

The Bush shoe thrower's sentenced has been reduced and he'll be out of jail next year.

And Amy Winehouse went streaking "through a hotel after being told to cover up." Guests were shocked to see her racing by them in the nude, but they shouldn't have been surprised unless they didn't know she was staying there.

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While You Were Sleeping: Blake Fielder-Civil's 16-Year-Old Girlfriend?

While You Were Sleeping: Sarah Palin Knew About The Promiscuous Sex

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 13:52:00 GMT

How far is too far in the quest for employment? If you're still unemployed, then you haven't gone far enough.

We're glad PETA is using the lovely and highly intelligent Alyssa Milano in their ad, but we kinda wish they had made her show more skin.

Miss Maryland USA 2004 was busted for drugs. No, not for doing drugs... selling drugs.

Friends with benefits relationships account for 60% of college couples.

We're going to put a Dylan bootleg mix CD together for Senator Feingold.

The 2009 Pillow Fight in New York City was held outside the Stock Exchange as some sort of protest.

What exactly was a UK regulator thinking when it fined the Playboy Channel thousands of pounds for broadcasting sexual content? What did everyone think they were going to broadcast?

Vote for the next star of PG Porn.

We already mentioned Levin Johnston on Tyra. What we didn't mention was that he said that the loving couple stayed over at the Governor's house on several occasions and that Sarah Palin "probably knew" her daughter had an active sex life. This woman is the very personification of "fail."

And if Regina Lynn's blocked on Southwest's in-flight wifi, so must we...

While You Were Sleeping: If Even Apple Is In Trouble...

While You Were Sleeping: Drunk Breastfeeding

Skinny Blonde Beer As Misogynist As It Is Gimmicky

Sarah Palin Porn Ain't Goin' Nowhere, No Ho Ho Ho

While You Were Sleeping: John Mayer's Penis

Cloris Leachman Wears Only Cabbage for Her PETA Ad

Emily Farris — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 14:49:00 GMT

Last year Pamela Anderson posed for a PETA ad wearing only lettuce. Not to be outdone by a rookie, 82-year-old Cloris Leachman—who we can honestly say we want to be just like when we grow up—decided she would pose for the animal rights organization wearing only cabbage.

We had no idea Leachman was a vegetarian, and honestly we have a hard time believing she's been able to kick it for so many years without a little red meat in her diet, but if so, more power to her.

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[Image]

PETA Celebrates Mother's Day With Caged Pregnant Ladies

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 20:59:00 GMT

It was Mother's Day in the UK yesterday-- we guess Britain's Hallmark division couldn't wait any longer.

PETA hired or acquired a trio of pregnant ladies in London to do their dirty work... and by dirty work, we mean the literal kind. PETA asked the women to remain in a small cage for an undetermined length of time, their only movements to be crawling around on all fours. We're guessing it's not really harmful to the unborn to do this, although isn't it utterly freezing in the UK this week?

Jamie Oliver was also attacked last week for supporting "inhumane" pig farming in the UK. PETA stated: "The answer to saving pigs is not to buy British pork, it's to go vegetarian."

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Colleen Kane — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 19:31:00 GMT

PETA has officially made me embarassed to have ever been a supporter of their organization (although that happened years ago).

But the latest stunt is proposing a new tofu...flavored like George Clooney's sweat...which would be called...wait for it...

CloFu.

Cloon's reaction to this suggestion (and his photo) is reason enough to post about this attention-seeking stunt.

"As a mammal, I'm offended."

Do the Cloon Swoon!

There actually is an inspiration for this one based on something in reality. The sweat as flavoring idea was inspired by Clooney's perspiration-soaked gym towel, bequeathed to the organization by some creepatron.

What's the grossest part about this post, the stealing of the gym towel, or the prospect of sweat-flavored tofu? Discuss.

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Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Thrilla in vanilla: Michael Jackson's press conference announcing some London shows he'll soon cancel was not exactly a thriller. See the video Scanner Emily shared yesterday.

Dr. Sanjay Gupta has decided to turn down a job in the Obama Administration.

Hero of the day: the nurse who bought a disabled boy a fake vagina so he could get himself off.

Yeah, fuck the paps. Michelle Rodriquez rules.

A foot fetish story has NPR in hot water with the usual dumbass listeners who all apparently have broken radio dials.

Did you hear that a car crashed through The Mac Store in Eugene, Oregon on Tuesday? Scary footage here, story at this link.

One of those female Chinese medal winners turns to be a man.

Seinfeld cast members will take over Curb Your Enthusiasm in the upcoming season.

Madonna was named PETA's most hated.

Amy Winehouse's husband is rumored to be involved with a sixteen-year-old girl. We said "rumored" so don't sue is if they're just friends...

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Amy Winehouse, Topless Again, Stars in Her Most Bizarre Adventure Yet

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PETA Gives Up, Decides to Just Have All-Stripper Campaigns

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 17:29:00 GMT

PETA has unveiled its latest ad campaign. No, it doesn't involve celebrities prancing around in the buff. No, it doesn't involve random overzealous protesters prancing around in the buff.

For the first time ever, PETA has used professional naked people for its print campaign...

The girls of Rick's Cabaret are getting naked... and not for tips.

[T]he new "We'd rather go topless than wear Fur" advertisement featur[es] seven topless vixens from Rick's Cabaret, the only publicly-traded chain of gentlemen's clubs.

"Compassion is a big turn-on, but fur-wearers leave me cold," says Alicia, one of the women featured. "By showing some of our skin, we hope to save animals' skins." [Radar]

Is anyone ever convinced by these ads? Will there be more vegetarians or more customers at the nation's Rick's Cabarets as a result of this ad?

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Today's Topless PETA Roundup

PETA Wants to Covet Your Neighbor's Sexy Wife

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 16:31:00 GMT

Now through March 11th, PETA has resolved to keep its topless protesters off the streets and to avoid throwing white paint at the Olsen twits and other enemies of furballs.

Instead, they've launched a new online competition featuring the Sexiest Vegetarians Next Door. The winner of the four rounds of voting wins a free trip to Hawaii... so, apparently, none of the girls pictured here are from Hawaii...

Alexi from Astoria (Queens), NY

Giselle from Miami, FL

Amy from Port Angeles, WA

Brooke from Ogden, UT. At the top of this post is Sunny from North Hollywood, CA. These are just a sampling of the many female contestants you can vote for at this link. The male contestants, as if anyone clicking on this post would care, are here.

PETA, via Fleshbot. For you enviable Europeans, voting begins here.

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The Crazy Chimp Lady Plot Thickens

Colleen Kane — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 18:00:00 GMT

Yesterday we covered the sad tale of the chimp going "bananas" on a lady's face. Turns out the woman who owned the attacking chimp is bananas as well. (Who knew?)

Sandra Herold claimed she loved the now-departed pet chimpanzee Travis like a son, but friends claim their relationship might have been more like that of lovers, and now another woman has come forward claiming Travis attacked her years ago.

Regarding the previous unprovoked attack, Leslie Mostel-Paul says she tried shaking Travis' hand, when the chimp tried pulling her through a car window into the car and bit her hand.

And regarding the nature of the pet/owner relationship, The New York Post reports that in addition to Sandra and Travis sharing filet mignon, lobster tails, and wine, "They bathed and slept together. He tenderly brushed her hair. She gave him gifts and sweet kisses. He drew her pictures."

Sandra lost her daughter years ago and then her husband, so the Post speculates that Travis was a replacement, and even if they weren't "intimate intimate," they were intimate, Sandra's unnamed intimates intimated.

And cue a protest by PETA in 3, 2, 1...

Chimp Escapes From Cage, Beats Zookeeper With Tranquillizer Gun

PETA Takes On Foie Gras, Valentine's Day, Decency Laws

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 16:24:00 GMT

Every year, PETA tries to top themselves for Valentine's Day. Since no one surveys the establishments or companies they protest in order to judge the effectiveness of a PETA-led boycott, there's no way of knowing whether these campaigns are having an effect one or another.

However, there's no denying it makes for a popular local news report...

Sometime yesterday, five PETA protesters took off their tops and covered their bosoms with signs reading "Have a heart -- drop foie gras" and stood in read heels in front of Selfridges, an upscale department/grocery store in London. Selfridges has not joined other fancy-schmancy stores in the UK in dropping foie gras from its stock, apparently believing force-feeding terrorist geese is okay as long as they're tasty. Or something. In any case, they basically blew off the protesters, while photographers, locals, and leering tourists snapped photos of the activists.

The BBC, the Independent, and the AFP have the skimpy story, while we have their photos. (Apparently, these were taken on London Bridge, which we thought was in Arizona these days, but whatever...)

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Lingerie Bowl Cancelled Due to Sexiness

Colleen Kane — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 20:32:00 GMT

We thought Super Bowl Sunday was also generally acknowledged to be T&A Sunday. Not so this year: forces (most likely freedom-hating foreigners) have conspired to keep lingerie-clad women off TV screens across America. First the news that PETA's latest boob-filled ploy to save the animals was banned from broadcasting during the Super Bowl, and now this news: No Lingerie Bowl VI.

The pay-per-view event, which is normally shown during the Super Bowl's half time, has been cancelled due to a disagreement with Caliente, the clothing-optional resort where the game was set to take place, over a clothing mandate for the game's players and fans.

That means some spectators in the background would have been nude. Including...MALE nudity!

"The league will not place our fans, players, staff nor partners in a less then comfortable environment that would ultimately jeopardize the mainstream perception and reputation of the brand that so many have worked diligently over these past five years to build," said a spokesman for the event.

In other words, nip slips are great, even encouraged, but we don't want any men to have to accidentally see nude men.

Whatevs, everyone knows the Puppy Bowl is where it's at anyway.

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PeTA: Again With Thinking Sex Sells Unpopular Idea

Colleen Kane — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 16:04:00 GMT

You can guess how this one goes. PETA wanted to run an ad during the Super Bowl. It was SEXY because it showed scantily-clad women cavorting about with vegetables, licking a pumpkin suggestively, etc. The claim is "Studies Show vegetarians have better sex."

NBC refused to run the ad, saying it was too suggestive...although something tells us there will still be plenty of scantily clad women in evidence in the Super Bowl commercials. Now you and others can watch the clip anyway online without them paying the Super Bowl fee.

Here's that "too sexy for prime time" commercial.

'Veggie Love': PETA's Banned Super Bowl Ad

But it doesn't matter anyway, because:

PETA! Enough already. Does this ever work? Depends what your definition of work is. It got attention. Did anyone see this ad and decide to become vegetarian? No. Was this ad going to convert any football-loving, hot-wings-pounding Joe Sixpack if it ran anyway? No. Did anyone see this and think that PETA, and by extension, vegetarians and vegans, are a bunch of crackpots? Certainly.

Related:

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Today's Topless PETA Roundup

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 16:22:00 GMT

The fact that these topless PETA roadshows are getting fewer and fewer press hits might mean the animal rights group-- which, incidentally, euthanizes 90% of the animals in its care on an annual basis-- is on its last legs...

(Speaking of legs, don't ya kind of wish the girl on he right, whose name is apparently Virginia Fort, was the one half-naked and writhing on the ground? There's a lame and possibly offensive joke about her having a fortified "virgine," a la Borat, but we're too in love with her right now to bother.)

These ladies got in trouble with the law yesterday in Greenville, South Carolina when they should have been at home, worshiping President Obama. Then again, we're pretty sure they didn't get led away in cuffs, so score one for free speech.

On the other side of the world, Sydney, Australia today again proved that it remains PETA's #1 city for naked protesting, with this rather more effective campaign equating carnivorism with, well, cannibalism.

Top two photos via yesterday's Greenville, SC Online-- more here. Sydney photos via Flickr.

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One Pro Cheerlearder Urges Another to Lay Off the Animals

Colleen Kane — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 22:20:00 GMT

Former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader/ current NBA scout Bonnie-Jill Laflin took exception to the extra-cheerleading activities of Tennessee Titans' Melissa Hodges. Hodges works in an animal lab that guillotines rats, so Laflin wrote her a letter urging her to change her ways, which can be downloaded from PETA's blog.

Here's a video of Bonnie-Jill talking about her animal-rights concerns, intercut with footage of her posing in a G-string. PETA's so predictable.

Photos: Nude Animal Rights Protesters from Spain (Who Don't Seem to Be Making a Difference)

Monkey, Could You Get Us a Beer?

Sophie Monk Has A KFC Relapse

PETA..blah blah...Sea Kittens...blah blah...MAKE YOUR OWN!

Ina Maier — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 22:24:00 GMT

So PETA, in one of their - yet again! - misguided publicity stunts, is attempting to re-brand the public image of fish as - get this - "Sea Kittens." Yes, fish. And yes, Sea Kittens. Now, this is just stupid and I'm in a bad mood (because, contrary to yesterday's belief, Friday Night Lights does not return tonight but, in an astonishingly appropriate degree of synchonicity, on Friday) so I initially would have rather stabbed my eyeballs out that draw attention to aforementioned publicity stunt, but here's the thing...

...you can make your own!

Here's mine:

And that's worth about 45 seconds of entertainment. Try it.

And if you actually care about the so-called Sea Kittens, you can read more about it here.

PETA Asks Ben and Jerry's to Admit that "Breast Is Best"

PETA Gets Women's Clothes Off Faster Than a $50 Bill at the Bunny Ranch

Anti-Teen Pregnancy Ad Proves PETA Doesn't Want Animals To Breed?

While You Were Sleeping: Kate Winslet's Other Sex Scenes

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 14:08:00 GMT

William Zantzinger, subject of the Bob Dylan protest song "The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll," died in Maryland of undisclosed causes.

Ian McKellen isn't too upset PBS doesn't have the balls to include the nude scene in their broadcast of his play.

Marilyn Manson is being sued by his ex-bandmate for twenty million dollars. Why do we care? Wait till you hear what Manson apparently spent the band's royalties on...

Bier, otherwise known as Madonna Wayne Gacy, sued Manson for more than $20 million last year, claiming Manson siphoned off millions of dollars in band revenue.

The funds allegedly paid for drugs, assorted Nazi paraphernalia, the cost of Von Teese's engagement ring and the ex-couple's 2005 wedding, and the interior decorating of Manson's mansion, which features a stuffed grizzly bear, a pair of baboons and the skeleton of a 4-year-old Chinese girl. [E!]

Patricia Arquette shilled for PETA.

Sources say pop singer Fergie is getting married this weekend. At last, a wedding the gossip rags aren't going apeshit over.

Kate Winslet said her teenage co-star was "terrified" during their sex scenes together in The Reader. Who can blame him? We'd have made a mess of the whole thing-- repeatedly.

Even though photos prove he was seeing Angelina Jolie on the side while still married, Brad Pitt claims he did not cheat.

Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich will not resign before he's impeached, even though a committee voted 21-0 to remove him. It's now in the hands of the State House of Representatives.

And Maine is getting the topless coffee shop! Hooray?

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Photos: Nude Animal Rights Protesters from Spain (Who Don't Seem to Be Making a Difference)

Scanner Matt — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 16:50:00 GMT

Now we're all for loving animals (just look at Scanner Verena's dog and elephant BFF post below) and we're all for stylish public displays of nudity, but we don't think anyone's going to stop the circus ("No Mas Circos Con Animales") like this.

Thundercats!

We actually came across our old Le Tigre t-shirt the other day.

Not sure what animals these people are supposed to be... (probably bulls, but no horns?)

Drama!

Italians!

And then there's the previously posted naked caged animal protesters of Louisiana if you're still not convinced the circus is evil.

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Best Naked Music Video of the Year

High Class College Hooker: No One Understands Me

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[image]

While You Were Sleeping: Khloe Kardashian Looks Weird Naked

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 14:09:00 GMT

The Golden Globe Award nominations will be announced today. We'll have that story for you as soon as we can get it together.

There's trouble at Miss Porter's School, alma matter of Jackie O and Gloria Vanderbilt, site of some of this Scanner blogger's most notorious teenage escapades. Let's hope everything gets cleared up real nice... so not-so-nice boys can continue to bother females there for years to come.

Ugly Betty added a new, annoying celebrity to add to its roster...

Former The O.C. star Mischa Barton looks set to be returning to TV screens - the actress is reportedly in talks to join the cast of Ugly Betty.

Our favorite excerpt of the morning:

The question of penis size
UW Badger Herald - Madison,WI,USA
In lots of anatomy textbooks, the vagina is portrayed as a gaping black abyss, but in real life, the vaginal opening looks more like a fold of tissue...

Will Ferrells' Bush mockery revue will play HBO.

Best Picture of the Year? According to the NY critics, it's Milk.

And Khloe Kardashian's bizarre appearance in a PETA ad has nothing to do with how her body looks-- that hair is just freaking us out.

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University of Wisconsin Disappears Into A Haze Of Substance Abuse And Good Times!

We Won't Milk "Milk" For Its Every Pun, Promise...

When '2 Become 1' Becomes 25 Cents, or How I Didn't Lose My Virginity to the Music of the Spice Girls

Not Gonna Take It Anymore, Angry Deer Fights Back

Scanner Matt — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 15:43:00 GMT

We know who we were rooting for. It wasn't a fair fight to begin with. Someone brought a gun to the party (no, it wasn't Plaxico). In Sedalia, Montana Missouri a hunter popped two caps in some poor buck's ass. The guy thought he had successfully murdered the deer, but when he got closer the deer sprung back to life! Yeah!

The Sedalia Democrat reports after Randy Goodman landed two well place bullets into the 240-pound buck he thought it was all over BUT!

A few minutes later Goodman went to check out his trophy. As he grabbed one horn he said, “Wow. What a big deer.”

The buck stood up and knocked Goodman on his butt, attacking him with his antlers.

“It was 15 seconds of hell,” Goodman said.

Goodman thought the deer was trying to go through him as he fought it off the best he could. A few seconds later, the deer was off and running.

“I felt his front legs go over my face,” Goodman said.

The buck fled the scene, but collapsed 30 yards later and Randy ended it with two more bullets before heading to the emergency room.

“I was afraid I was going to bleed to death,” Goodman said.

In the emergency room, Goodman received seven staples in the left side of his scalp and suffered a light concussion. His right arm and chest were bruised.

And this is by far our favorite part of the article:

Goodman has been hunting since 1979 and said this freak accident taught him one thing. “I learned a valuable lesson, if you don’t think they’re dead, you might want to shoot them again,” Goodman said.

Yes!

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Photo/Newsday

While You Were Sleeping: The Gyllenhaal Divorce

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 14:01:00 GMT

This week, we're blogging from a quiet beach near Clearwater, Florida... so your news will be a bit more Southern and probably a lot weirder...

The government will finally bail out the public, thanks to up to $800 billion in money being directed toward allowing for more loans to consumers. Great, just what we need, more debt.

There's nothing worse than getting busted for being involved in prostitution and having your face plastered all over the local media. Actually, we take that back: there's nothing worse than getting busted for prostitution and having your face plastered all over the world, plus admit to dating a much, much older doorman who won the lottery and buys you expensive things. Yeah, that will go over well with your childhood community overseas.

Kristen Johnston, who took it off for-- what else-- PETA. And she, uh, mounted a house for the shoot...

Cancer is on the decline in the U.S. for the first time in our history. However, some naysayers are saying that the amount of people being screened has fallen as well...

We were a little surprised to see Republican Governor Charlie Crist talking "new taxes" in the paper here yesterday. Of course, the top story today? "Gov. Charlie Crist backs off both [tackling a foreclosure freeze and a cigarette tax] after talking to representatives of the banking and tobacco industries." What a whimp.

Even some elected officials were stumped by this challenging US history and government quiz.

One Florida neighborhood's concoction of choice this Thanksgiving? The Molotov cocktail, of course.

How great does Beyonce look as Etta James?

And Maggie and Jake Gyllenhaal's parents are involved in a nasty divorce after 32 years of marriage. Mom is about to go bankrupt thanks to Dad not paying his share of their bills... won't someone think of the children(s' careers)?

Some unlinked stories via The St. Petersburg Times.

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"Don't Mess With My Governor" Turkey Guy From Palin Video Speaks Out

Scanner Matt — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 17:15:00 GMT

We should probably call him “Brian the Turkey Slayer.”

Brian Tomes, the man slaughtering turkeys behind Sarah Palin in the infamous video that has earned itself over 2.2 million hits on You Tube alone (PETA must be proud), has finally been hassled by the media.

If you haven’t seen Palin interviewed while some guy nonchalantly murders turkeys in the background yet, watch it now.

The hard-hitting bastion of high journalism that is Inside Edition got to him first:

Brian Tomes says he was just doing his job and "things happen."

That’s very informative.

Tomes was going about his gruesome task of slaughtering turkeys as Palin gave a TV interview, talking about her Thanksgiving plans.

Wherever animals are suffering, she’ll be there.

The farmhand told INSIDE EDITION he didn't realize he could be seen as Palin was speaking."I thought they had panned in on her face…I did try and block the process," he says.

We figured as much.

This is our favorite part:

He says Palin is being unfairly criticized over the video. "The only thing I can say is, 'Don't mess with my Governor!'"

Related:

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Photo / Inside Edition

Video of the Day: Sarah Palin Talks to the Press, Picks Out a Bloody Turkey

Emily Farris — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 16:14:00 GMT

Earlier this week former GOP vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin gave an interview to a local TV station. Do you think she had any idea that turkeys were being slaughtered right behind her and in full view of the camera?

Video after the jump...

Related:

Top 5 Rumors We'd Like to Start About Sarah Palin... But Won't

Who Would You Rather: Nude Sarah Palin vs. Nude Sarah Palin...

Caged Heat: PETA Takes Topless Roadshow To Louisiana

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 14:20:00 GMT

The People For Ethical Treatment of Tasty Animals has invaded Shreveport, Louisiana, and they have a message for you meat-eating hicks. No, wait, they have a message for you circus-going hicks.

In other news: circuses still exist...

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals staged the event — meant to coincide with upcoming local Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Baily circus stops — at the northwest corner of Texas and Edwards streets.

“Many people were baffled to see what goes on behind the scenes at a circus,” said Virginia Fort, a PETA paid staffer. She said the dozens who stopped to look or take photos was a good turnout.

PETA made a stop Tuesday in Alexandria.

“They shouldn’t treat them bad,” said Jody Abbitt, who works downtown and took photos of protester Christina Dang, 22, of Michigan. Dang crouched in a cage below signs saying animals should be free.

Whom shall they not treat badly, Jody Abbitt? The animals or the protestors? Either way, you're right, Jody: it's terrible to see what goes on backstage-- those poor bikini-clad or topless women are caged and told to visit Louisiana.

Oh, right, naked women are supposed to represent... tigers. Or something. Seriously-- this an, um, pet issue for us as well. Check out the video:

Top photo via KFC Protest (obviously.) Video, story, and additional photo via this link.

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Sloppy Seconds: More Fun With Sarah Palin Affair Rumors

Emily Farris — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 21:36:00 GMT

~~Hootie~~ Darius Rucker, front man of Hootie and the Blowfish, has bumped Jessica Simpson from the top of Billboard's country chart. Um, is Hank Williams rolling over in his grave? [Us]

Heather Mills gave hamburgers to poor kids in the Bronx last weekend. Except she didn't exactly tell the kids the burgers were vegan. [Gourmet]

We imagine 13-year-old Christian girls (and their mothers) with no taste in music and boys are about the only ones not happy about Clay Aiken coming out. [People]

Yes, we were right. [Radar]

Will you buy Blair and Chuck's albums? We will not. Though we also said we would not watch "Gossip Girl".. sigh. [MTV]

Just as you should not go to George Clooney with a medical emergency (save something stuck in your vagina), you probably shouldn't go to Michael Douglas in times of financial crisis. But hell, nobody else is doing a good job of fixing it, so maybe the "Wall Street" star can offer some hope? [Yahoo!]

If what The Enquirer says is true (hey, they were right about John Edwards) then Sarah Palin used to fuck a snowmobile dealer named Brad Hanson, yet another business parter of poor Todd Palin. [Wonkette]

PETA Asks Ben and Jerry's to Admit that "Breast Is Best"

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 16:11:00 GMT

Oh PETA! At it again! This time the rogue activists and media starlets are demanding that Ben and Jerry's begin making ice cream with slightly more humane ingredients.

Such as...

That's right, humane as in human, that is. PETA has requested that Ben and Jerry's begin making ice cream from women's breast milk. But before you get your bras in a tangle, the idea isn't a PETA original. It came from some dude in Switzerland.

"PETA's request comes in the wake of news reports that a Swiss restaurant owner will begin purchasing breast milk from nursing mothers and substituting breast milk for 75 percent of the cow's milk in the food he serves."

Yum. PETA once agains ruins a good message and intention with a shameless, creepy stunt. It'ss becoming a weekly event.

While You Were Sleeping: McCain Checked Palin Out Again

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 14:04:00 GMT

Ryan O'Neal and his son are trying to show Tatum how it's done: they were just arrested for possession of meth. Redmond, the son, was on probation for another drug-related arrest.

Gary Coleman was charged with reckless driving in the most bizarre celebrity accident we've ever heard of.

Don't miss Brad Pitt's response to a reporters question on why he donated $100,000 to the gay marriage fight in California:

"Because no one has the right to deny another their life, even though they disagree with it, because everyone has the right to live the life they so desire if it doesn't harm another and because discrimination has no place in America, my vote will be for equality and against Proposition 8," Pitt said Wednesday.

Brad Pitt also expressed surprise that more people in the entertainment industry aren't making donations to keep gay marriage legal. "Especially George Clooney," Pitt said. "Now, that guy should be driving up to city hall with a dump truck full of cash. I'm not implying anything, but 'dedicated bachelor'? That's about as convincing as marrying Katie Holmes."

One of our favorite books of poetry has been turned into... a nude play?

PETA invaded Pittsburgh, with banners over their naked bodies that read: "Turn Your Back On Burberry."

And John McCain checked out Sarah Palin's ass... again.

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