Scanner : Oprah

PapSmeared: Susan Boyle's Near Nip Slip

Emily Farris — Tue, 12 May 2009 18:39:00 GMT

Susan Boyle—the frumpy little old lady who could sing—achieved instant star status after appearing on Britan's Got Talent and wowing even its most critical judge, Simon Cowell. But as fashion magazines and gossipy blogs have been all too quick to point out, Boyle doesn't exactly look like a star. And she's okay with that. While she has no plans for a complete makeover, she told Oprah yesterday that she just put on a little make-up and some new clothes "to tidy myself up." Even so, not even Boyle's boobs are safe from the paparazzi, as one quick cameraperson who caught a glimpse of her braless bosom poking out of her 'tidy' button-down proved.

Related:

Eva Mendes to America: Take Your Nip Slip Censorship and Shove It

Mischa Barton's Nip Slip

While You Were Sleeping: Foxy Brown Joins The Nipple Slip Parade

Hot or Not? Scarlett Johansson's Fuzzy Nipple

Top 10 TV Nipple Slips and Wardrobe Malfunctions

[Image]

Sloppy Seconds: Megan Fox Doesn't Need You To Take Her Seriously

Emily Farris — Mon, 11 May 2009 23:01:00 GMT

A man gave birth to his twin, Alien style. Sort of. [The Inquisitr]

Looks like Oprah is going to have a lot less shit on her show. Literally. Dr. Oz—her in-house medical professional who was all too excited to talk poo with Ms. Winfrey—is getting his own show. [Yahoo!]

When we were growing up we seriously thought that everyone in our hometown of Independence, MO was skinny and had bad teeth because they were poor. We know better now. But why is meth so prevalent in some regions and not in others? [FlavorWire]

Wanting to not appear so poor ourselves, at 17 we lied to get a credit card. That was the beginning of our own personal financial hell. This pre-paid Discover card might have done us some good... and probably still could. [Lifestyler]

Speaking of us being poor, don't forget you can buy our Missed Tee for a mere $13. We get 10% of every sale, plus what's not to love about dogs humping legs? [MissedTees]

In the mean time, we'll follow Suze Orman on Twitter. [Twitter]

"I don't want to have to be like a Scarlett Johansson — who I have nothing against," Megan Fox tells June's Esquire, "but I don't want to have to go on talk shows and pull out every single SAT word I've ever learned to prove, like, 'Take me seriously, I am intelligent, I can speak.' I don't want to have to do that. I resent having to prove that I'm not a retard — but I do. And part of it is my own fault." [Us]

Related:

Megan Fox Strips to Underwear for Esquire, Fancy New Camera

Sloppy Seconds: We Can All Stop Worrying About Swine Flu Now

I Owe You a Good Leg Humping

[Image]

Sloppy Seconds: We Can All Stop Worrying About Swine Flu Now

Emily Farris — Mon, 04 May 2009 23:20:00 GMT

Scottish poet Carol Ann Duffy was named the U.K.'s first female Poet Laureate. She's also the first openly gay person to hold the title. [TIME]

Okay, Megan Fox is hot. But Megan Fox eating a hamburger is even hotter, right? [VIDEO: Esquire]

Oprah gave someone else a talk show (hint: it wasn't us). Jenny McCarthy already has her own blog on Oprah.com and now she's getting her own show. How do we get a blog on Oprah.com? [People]

Robert Duvall vs. Wal-Mart. We don't have to tell you whose side we're on. [Yahoo!]

We can all stop worrying about Swine Flu because something else is going to kill us first. Time to beware of Raccoon Ringworm, or Raccoon Roundworm or whatever the hell you want to call the parasite that has blinded a teenager and made an infant brain dead. How the infant came in contact with raccoon feces we don't now. [The Inqisitr]

Today on "Oprah": Q&A With Polygamists [VIDEO]

Emily Farris — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 20:41:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: We love us some Oprah. We even like the semi-boring Friday episodes where Mark Consuelos tells his Mr. Mom stories. But, most of all, we love when Oprah talks to people who may or may not be crazy. We've been waiting all weekend to see her trip to the Yearning for Zion Ranch so we can watch her ask the polygamists if they like Big Love...

Here's a sneak peek of today's episode below...

Read more...

Trend Alert: Women Leaving Men For Other Women

Emily Farris — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 22:13:00 GMT

The lesbians are coming! Apparently more and more women are leaving men for other women. And Oprah and her eponymous magazine are all over that L train.

Don't get too excited. Oprah isn't leaving Stedman for her best friend and the mgazine's Editor-at-Large Gayle King just yet. But in an article in the April issue of O, Mary A. Fischer writes about the trend.

Lately, a new kind of sisterly love seems to be in the air. In the past few years, Sex and the City's Cynthia Nixon left a boyfriend after a decade and a half and started dating a woman (and talked openly about it). Actress Lindsay Lohan and DJ Samantha Ronson flaunted their relationship from New York to Dubai. Katy Perry's song "I Kissed a Girl" topped the charts. The L Word, Work Out, and Top Chef are featuring gay women on TV, and there's even talk of a lesbian reality show in the works. Certainly nothing is new about women having sex with women, but we've arrived at a moment in the popular culture when it all suddenly seems almost fashionable—or at least, acceptable.

Thirty-eight-year-old Macarena Gomez-Barris divorced her husband, the father of her two children, after the fact that her academic career took off and her husband stayed home to play Mr. Mom. It was a relationship that didn't work for them. But when Gomez-Barris met openly-gay Judith Halberstam, PhD, a professor of English, American studies and ethnicity, and gender studies at USC—"the most take charge person [she'd] ever met"—she wondered if a relationship with this woman had more of what she was looking for. And she was right. And definitely not the only one.

Statistics on how many women have traded boyfriends and husbands for girlfriends are hard to come by. Although the U.S. Census Bureau keeps track of married, divorced, single, and even same-sex partners living together, it doesn't look for the stories behind those numbers. But experts like Binnie Klein, a Connecticut-based psychotherapist and lecturer in Yale's department of psychiatry, agree that alternative relationships are on the rise. "It's clear that a change in sexual orientation is imaginable to more people than ever before, and there's more opportunity—and acceptance—to cross over the line," says Klein, noting that a half-dozen of her married female patients in the past few years have fallen in love with women. "Most are afraid that if they don't go for it, they'll end up with regrets."

What follows are some pretty interesting facts and ideas about women who are now more open to relationships with other women.

Read the rest at O Magazine.

Related:

Lesbians Love Angelina Jolie

Can You Tell Which Celebrity Couple is Immortalized in These Lipstick Tubes?

Oprah's New Diet May Induce Diarrhea, Headaches and Time Travel

[Image]

Rumormongering: Rihanna Gave Chris Brown Herpes

Emily Farris — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 19:55:00 GMT

The drama surrounding Chris Brown and Rihanna continues. Amid reports that the on-again, off-again couple is taking a much-needed break, we hear that Brown had a "reason" to beat the hell out of his girlfriend—bitch gave him herpes! Or so says a "source close to Brown." A reason to break up with someone? Sure. Beat that person up? Hell no. Of course, tthe story gets better. Because if Rihanna gave Brown The Herp, who gave it to her?

Why, none other than Jay-Z!

This story is, of course, getting more ridiculous by the day. Next thing you know Beyonce and Rihanna are going to come forward with their lesbian love affair and Brown is going to turn up preggers on the Oprah show.

[The Inquisitr: Rihanna gave Chris Brown Herpes?]

Related:

Rumormongering: Rihanna May Not Have Been the Only One Chris Brown Beat Up

This Whole Chris Brown and Rihanna Story Is Getting Sicker By The Day

Sloppy Seconds: What Will Rihanna Say to Chris Brown?

While You Were Sleeping: The Rihanna Nightmare Continues

[Image, Image]

Sloppy Seconds: What We Gave Up for Lent

Emily Farris — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 23:33:00 GMT

I may have moved to the worst city—ever!—for dating, but at least it's the manliest based on "the number of U.S.-made cars driven in the city, number of sports bars and BBQ restaurants, number of home improvement and hardware stores as well as manly salty snacks consumption." [FatCity]

The Seattle Post-Intelligencer is one step closer to switching to an online-only publication. [Yahoo!]

Michelle Obama will be the first person other than Oprah herself to ever appear on the cover of O Magazine. [Us]

What's this about a giant blue wiener in "The Watchmen?" Now we're totally seeing it. [Rolling Stone]

Gossip Girl's Matthew Settle (Rufus) is a daddy. [People]

Believe it or not kids, Scanner Emily here, an athiest, gave up sex (or anything beyond kissing, hugging and a back rub if I can get it) for Lent. Some people are giving up texting. Both would probably be good for interpersonal relationships. What are you giving up, if anything? [Tech-Ex]

Crazy Baby Lady Skips Welfare, Goes Straight to TV

Emily Farris — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 20:09:00 GMT

We'd be bragging about calling this one last week, but you'd have to be an idiot not to think the mother of octuplets (plus another six) wasn't going to seek media deals to keep those kiddies fed. At first we thought she'd go for her own show on TLC, but apparently she knows she has blown Jon and Kate Plus 8 out of the water and is going straight to the media major leagues.

The Crazy Baby Lady, otherwise known as Nadya Suleman, is seeking $2 million from media outlets and commercial endorsements. And though she's still recovering from carrying and giving birth two eight babies, she has plans to talk to Oprah and Diane Sawyer.

The 33-year-old's family admits she needs cash from media deals, which makes us wonder how the hell she paid for the in vitro fertilization in the first place. We hate to sound like our mom—she used to bitch about women having more babies so their welfare checks would increase—but DAY-UM, we hope Oprah pays someone else to take those babies away from her.

[Times of London: Octuplets’ mother wants Oprah to turn her into a $2m TV star]

Crazy Baby Lady Puts Crazy Cat Ladies to Shame

10 More Ways to Get Pregnant

File Under The Worst Idea Ever: Teen Pregnancy Pacts

Voice of Reason: Jason Bateman Says 'Juno' is Not to Blame for Teenage Pregnancy

O No! O Magazine's Warning to Waxers

Colleen Kane — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 18:58:00 GMT

A question in Oprah's O magazine points out a waxing danger we hadn't given much thought to before, but which rates consideration. When you go to get those hairs did, can you catch a dose of anything from the pot of hot wax?

Yes, says beauty advisor Valerie Monroe. You can catch quite a few things.

First, are you sure your waxer is changing the wax between each client, and changing the paper on the table? If not, run. Because if not, you could be exposed to group A strep, staph, human papillomavirus, and herpes. You're even more vulnerable to cross-contamination during the procedure because waxing "induces areas of microtrauma to the skin." Great.

Thomas Beatie, "the Pregnant Man", on Oprah...Today!

Oprah's New Diet May Induce Diarrhea, Headaches and Time Travel

Emily Farris — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 21:49:00 GMT

Advertisers are still promoting that superawesomemagicalmakeyouskinnyandbeautifulfast Acai Berry Diet Oprah was shilling earlier this year. And if we are to interpret one new ad as we think we're supposed to, you can add "immediate transport back to 1988" to the list of the berries' benefits.

Yes, folks, we found this image on the Yahoo! News homepage today, December 28, 2008. While Oprah certainly looks good these days, we doubt she's still wearing white plastic triangle-shaped earrings.

Do advertisers really think we're this stupid? Or were they just too cheap to pay for any image that hadn't been retired to the public domain? Even Oprah's beloved Dr. Oz said earlier this month that the superfood might not be so super after all.

Related:

Oprah's Book Cult: Where's the Beef?

Sloppy Seconds: Palin on Oprah, Will She or Won't She?

Sloppy Seconds: Why Does Oprah Look So Scared?

Barbara Walters' Wet Hot American Interracial Affair

Who Would You Rather? The Results Are In!

[Image]

Sloppy Seconds: Who's Not Allowed to Play With Paris?

Emily Farris — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 23:37:00 GMT

What were your favorite and least favorite Nerve essays of 2008? Orly? Then you should go vote for them. [Nerve]

Some of your favorite NPR personalities may soon be gone. Fucking economy. [Gawker]

Why did Perez Hilton have to ruin a perfectly beautiful picture of our future husband Ryan Gosling? [PerezHilton]

Perhaps in a cash crunch like the rest of us, Michael Jackson is selling the gates leading to Neverland Ranch and his infamous glitter glove from the "Billie Jean" video. [Yahoo!]

Speaking of gloves, er, coming off, Tom Cruise is going in for another interview with Matt Lauer. [Us]

Oprah fell off (or onto?) the food wagon, maxing out at 200 pounds. It's just more for us to love, Lady O. [People]

Prince William was invited to Paris Hilton's New Years Eve party, but his "elders at the palace" reportedly do not want him partying with her. [Radar]

[Image]

CNN Discovers Why Men Cheat (Gasp! It's About Their Feelings)

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 14:50:00 GMT

Second only to the New York Times for being last to figure out what's going on Planet Earth, the Cable News Network is not exactly known for breaking cultural news or actually telling us anything we don't already know. So it's no surprise that they've taken to publishing Oprah.com's columns on their website in lieu of doing their own fact-finding...

...and the results are predictable.

Among the shock revelations:

"It's not about blaming the wife. It can't be. I mean, cheating is ridiculous. It's wrong. And you can't justify it,"

Okay so far...

What's the number one reason men cheat? Ninety-two percent of men said it wasn't primarily about the sex.
"The majority said it was an emotional disconnection, specifically a sense of feeling underappreciated. A lack of thoughtful gestures..."

Like BJ's and letting him film your threesome.

Josh says he cheated on his wife, Jennifer, because he felt underappreciated at home and started feeling insecure. "That insecurity was really the catalyst," he says. "I didn't feel comfortable going to the one person in the world I should be going to, which is my wife."

We're sorry, but you were insecure? And Oprah is letting this guy get a free ride?! We're sorely disappointed.

Men have a winning mentality.

Except when they're cheating losers.

"Does he have ownership in the team? It looks like that. But as long as they're in the game, even to the very end, they'll watch. Once it's a blowout and they know their team can't win, television goes off. And what a lot of men will say to me through this research is, 'I just felt like I couldn't win.'"

A sports metaphor for talking about men? Please, go on for a few more paragraphs like this, it isn't tiresome or cliche at all...

For the first five years of his marriage, AJ says things were rocky with his wife, Janet. "We got to the point where we were really living in separate parts of the house. I went downstairs every time I came home from work..."

The Oprah guru goes on to say AJ eventually cheated on his wife. Honestly, we're not sure the word "cheated" is appropriate, though technically correct, in this case. You were living in separate wings of the house? Unless AJ is a cover for "William J. Clinton," we're pretty sure this guy's marriage was going to end anyway...

But maybe you have a different opinion. Hating on CNN and this stupid story? Not debatable, sorry.

Via CNN Living.

Related:

While You Were Sleeping: Mike Myers Is An Inglorious Bastard

This Week In Gayness: Guys Making Out On CNN

CNN Hasn't Been Getting Many Second Dates

Ladies, If You're Not In The Mood, CNN Is Here To Save You...

The Veep Deba(cle): Why Everybody Loses

Sloppy Seconds: Demi Moore And Her Boob Squirt

Tom Cruise As Don Corleone

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 20:50:00 GMT

Don't worry, we're not talking about the Godfather Part IV. It's actually the basis of a major, 250-million-dollar federal racketeering suit against the Church of Scientology that names Tom Cruise as the Don Vito of the modern era...

According to the New York Daily News, Tom Cruisader is named as one of the heads of the Mafia-like family known as the Cult of Scientology by Peter Letterese, a former Scientologist, who is using the RICO statues against Tom and co., naming them in his $250 mil suit in a Florida court. The suit claims, for starters,

that members of the church harassed him after he left... a member of the church phoned his lawyer at home, and when the lawyer's wife answered, said he was her husband's homosexual lover.

Wait, we thought the Church hated the gays... why would they say that? They're so goofy/kooky, those alien worshipers. Anyway, did you guys see Godfather 2?

Letterese calls the church a "crime syndicate" and wants it broken up under the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organization law, just as the feds have broken up Mafia families.

How much you wanna bet that, despite the general good idea of trying the Church for conspiracy and fraudulent activities, this is not going to make it to a verdict? And by that we mean, the suit is not only thrown out but all records of it, including this blog post, are charred and incinerated?

Via the Daily News.

Related:

Shocker: Tom Cruise And Katie Holmes Marriage A Sham!

Did Keith and Nicole Name Their Baby Sunday to Spite Tom Cruise?

Scanner Controversy: The Most Controversial Posts Of The Past Two Weeks

Ex-Scientologist: It's Time To Strike Back

Scanner Highs and Lows: In Which We Consider Prancing Around in Stripper Shoes to Survive the Recession

Emily Farris — Fri, 23 May 2008 22:01:00 GMT

It was a long, cold winter and nothing says fuck me (and tip me) like a pair of stripper shoes, right?

Highs:

We got to look at naked, bearded, burly men.

We crushed on vegetarians even though we obviously love meat.

We have so many feelings about the new 90210 we're not sure whether it goes in highs or lows.

We cyber-visited the Icelandic Penis Museum.

We looked at some old pictures of Scarlett Johansson.

We learned you really, really love Jon Stewart. And Stephen Colbert, too. Just not as much.

We briefly considered purchasing a pair of stripper shoes.

This woman is probably going to have some seriously swollen breasts—a small price to pay for saving so many lives with them.

Ellen Degeneres very politely made John McCain look like an ass (who really didn't look like he believed in what he was saying, right?)

Lows:

For the first time in our lives, the New Kids on the Block let us down. But only just a little.

Um, did Mike Huckabee encourage shooting Barack Obama?

The Father-Daughter Purity Ball really freaked us out.

Apparently Hulu.com is too pure to allow embedding at Nerve.com.

We learned that R. Kelly's sex tape was set to the tune of the Backstreet Boys and the Spice Girls.

And that he's probably going to jail.

We're glad we had no part in this date.

[Image]

Tina Turner Comes Out On Oprah

Katie Halper — Fri, 09 May 2008 19:41:00 GMT

Tina Turner has still got it and she's still simply the best. She's also out.

With the moral support of Cher and Oprah, Turner, 68, announced she is finally coming out... of retirement and kicking off a new tour. Three years after Tina appeared on Oprah and spoke about herself in the third person: "To go on tour every night—that's a bit much...There's a high expectation of Tina Turner, and I don't want them to say, 'She can't do it like she used to'…I'll think about [it]." Well, Tina has thought about it and she's decided to launch a final tour. FYI, Scanner Katie attended a Tina show during the tour formerly known as Tina's final tour.

Sloppy Seconds: What's Amy Winehouse So Upset About?

Emily Farris — Wed, 07 May 2008 21:35:00 GMT

Prince must have some down time while he's recovering from his hip replacement surgery; he's begun writing his first book. [Yahoo!]

Barbara Walters outed Star Jones' stomach on Oprah. [Us Weekly]

We're not big fans of bread pudding, but Japanese breast pudding is something we can totally get behind. [YBNBY]

The creator of Rocky Road ice cream and co-founder of Baskin-Robbins is dead at 90. Does this mean we can eat ice cream every day and live to 90? [MSNBC]

Yawn: Amy Winehouse has been arrested....again. This time it's drug charges. [Yahoo!]

[Image]

Sloppy Seconds: Why Does Oprah Look So Scared?

Emily Farris — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:56:00 GMT

We're kind-of sad to report that the Marilyn Monroe sex tape has been "fully debunked" by the FBI, whatever that means. [Radar]

Maybe it's the band geek in us, but we got way too excited over this video of synchronized metronomes. [Didn'tYouHear?]

Uma Thurman's stalker says he "didn't mean to scare her." [Yahoo!]

Paula Abdul thinks no one understands her. Um, she's right. [People]

But not to worry, her job is safe. [MTV]

Tom Cruise and Oprah revisited the whole jumping on the couch thing today and she confessed to him, "I was a little nervous coming up this morning, I have to admit, because you and I have not sat down for a real conversation since the sofa incident.". [Us Weekly]

Pras On Homelessness, Obama, Oprah, and ... Sex?

Katie Halper — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 20:41:00 GMT

Scanner Katie recently interviewed Pras Michel of The Fugees, about his latest project, Skid Row, a documentary in which Pras goes undercover for 9 days and nights as a homeless person in downtown LA’s notorious Skid Row. I met up with Pras in a hotel lobby in Manhattan to discuss the film. Pras talked to me about Muhammed Ali, why he likes Obama and doesn’t go for Bill Cosby, how Oprah and Snoop could help the “lost African-American generation” by meeting face to face, and why we’re in a “transitional moment.” But when I asked Pras about what surprised him most about Skid Row, we started talking about sex.

Katie: What surprised you most about Skid Row?

Pras: I met someone who said he hadn't been distracted by women in three years. That's how he stayed clean. Any little distraction and he would have slipped back. In my world, I think about sex -- I mean I don't think I think about sex like the average man does --

Which is 24/7?

Which is 24/7, I'm probably like ...

22/6?

22/6

No really, more like 22/7 right?

Yeah ... I can't lie to you -- sex was nowhere on my mind. Maybe because I was getting acclimated. But if I was there longer, I probably would have adapted.

And I surprised myself. When you're homeless a lot of things go out the window because it's all about survival. I had to do certain things I don't do. Like I'm not one of those people who smiles. It doesn't mean I'm not happy. It's just not part of my temperament. I never had to do that before. But on Skid Row, when I was looking for money, a guy said to "smile". He was gay. I'm not homophobic, far from it. Most guys would get offended. I wouldn't get offended, I just wouldn't smile. But on Skid Row when this guy offered me $5 to smile, I'm thinking, I have to eat. So I smiled for him. And another woman said to me, "Come on brother, it can't be that bad. Smile." And I smiled for her too.

[Read the full interview on Alternet.]