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While You Were Sleeping: Emma Watson To Get Naked?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 14:06:00 GMT

Catherine Hardwicke, who ruined it for female directors everywhere by having the biggest opening with the worst movie, will not be invited back for the followup to Twilight.

Jay Leno is sticking around late night after all. He'll host a show in the 10pm slot instead.

For $12,000, you could've had a boatload of fun with Anne Hathaway...

...the day after the Cracked X-mas Fundraiser where the actress auctioned off a drinking date with herself and a few of your close friends, we know that's as good a pick up line as any:
"I'm not usually very forward, but I thought if there was ever a crowd for me to do something like this, this is my crowd so I would like to auction myself off," Hathaway announced, "for drinks somewhere fabulous and basically get you totally s—- faced." Hathaway, 26, was embarrassed when her price kept going up... "Wow, I feel really good right now."

Keanu Reeves will make a brilliant, original, and totally not laughable samurai movie next.

Robin Williams on Sarah Palin. We won't spoil the joke.

A 70-year-old woman in India gave birth after fifty years of trying to have children. This is sure to be the plot of Sex and the City Part XVII.

Emma Watson waited a full eight months of being legal before announcing she's interested in doing a nude scene. Fortunately for you pervs, she wants to do one for Bernado Bertolucci.

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Mom Films Her Boyfriend Having Sex with Her 13-Year-Old Daughter

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 20:55:00 GMT

The Sun reports today on the case of a 46-year-old Perth, Australia mom (well, until they take the daughter away from her, of course) who allegedly videotaped a 29-year-old man having sex with the mom's thirteen-year-old daughter.

And the video might have stayed under wraps, had the man not blackmailed another woman, a victim of his internet stalking...

Cops allege the girl's mother was also involved in the video and will appear in court next week.
She faces 19 sex offence charges.
The man has appeared before magistrates accused of having sex with the 13-year-old and recording the acts.
The man has been charged with more than 150 counts of distributing child pornography and having sex with an underage girl and was granted bail today.

Good Lord, did some Billionaire put up an island as collateral? How the hell was his bail low enough that he was able to meet it? One hundred and fifty counts-- and this doesn't even include the stalking, it seems.

The crimes came to light when early last month police say they received a complaint from another woman who said she was being stalked on the internet.
Perth policeman Sgt Greg Lambert said: "An unknown person was sending her emails that contained naked pictures of herself in the shower."
"The woman was threatened that the pictures would be posted on the web if she reported the matter."

When the po-po dropped by the idiot perv's house to check his computer, they found his exploitative video and probably beat the shit out of him. At least, we hope they did... although, if not, we're sure his future inmates will know what to do with this creep.

Via the Sun and News.com.au.

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Sloppy Seconds: Pretty Young Things

Emily Farris — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 21:33:00 GMT

Chelsea Clinton can't get enough of the gays. And apparently, they can't get enough of her. [Queerty]

Suri Cruise is two-years-old. And still so fucking cute. We just want to squeeze her! [People]

If you are a pedophile, you might enjoy these "sexy" pictures of Miley Cyrus. [JustJared]

The other U.S. American Miss South Carolina will work for the John McCain campaign and like such as. [Wonkette]

We still have our high school class ring somewhere. Do you? What's that all about, anyway? [Neatorama]

Wired reports from the FIRST Robotics Championship. [Wired]

Ever wonder about the origins of Harrison Ford's kind-of dorky earring? Us neither, but you might be interested to know it involved Jimmy Buffet and drunk lunch. [Yahoo!]

When we first learned that Harry Potter star Emma Watson would replace Scarlett Johansson in a Napoleon biopic, we thought about doing a Who Would You Rather? But then we remembered that Emma was just a baby. Turns out she's 18 now. God, they grow up so fast. So, uh, who would you rather? No. Sorry. That's still kind-of wrong. [People]

Lily Allen and Kids From "Harry Potter" Form Youngest, Most Adorablest Love Triangle Ever!

Bryan Christian — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:48:00 GMT

OMG! Lily Allen is coming between Harry Potter stars Emma Watson and Rupert Grint! Couldn't you just DIE?

Lily Allen caused tension between Harry Potter stars Rupert Grint and Emma Watson - after calling the young actor while he was on a shopping trip with his pretty co-star.
And when Emma, 17, saw it was Lily calling Rupert’s mobile while he was busy trying on a suit in Armani, she slammed the phone down on her.
[...]
Adds the source: “Emma listened to the person on the phone for a bit and then she said: ‘We’re busy right now, like you should be, Lily.’

Daaaaaaaamn! Hermione be all hardcore, bringin' the broom down hawd and shit! Hang on, are any of these people even dating? We thought Emma was canoodling with Daniel Radcliffe. And we must ask: Lily should be "busy" doing what, exactly, Emma? Getting over that horrible month she had where she had a miscarriage, broke up with her boyfriend, and got dumped as a lingerie model? Seriously, cut the kid some slack. She's got a third nipple, for crying out loud, and we all know what a terrible toll that can take on a person.

Oh, you didn't know she had a third nipple? Would you like to see it? So would we, actually, so meet us back here after the jump and we'll watch the video together, like a family should.