Scanner : Christmas

Russian LOLcats

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 14:38:00 GMT

Kapitan, there was an accident in the research facility! It’s imperative we reach the acid baths…

Russian LOLCats is different from LOLCats in the sense that the text added to the cat pics is gibberish. Or, at least, so we've been told. (You think we'd be blogging full-time if we could speak fluent Russian? Damn, we'd just go work for the Mafia at Coney Island.)

Anyway, it may not be as instantly hilarious as icanhascheezeburger, but if this kind of demented humor is your thing, read on.

Commissar Markov has long been a loyal party member, but I fear his growing influence in state policy. Perhaps it is time to cash in a favor from my friends at the Kremlin.

These consumables are contraband, comrade - your passage to the gulag is paid for in L’eggs Body Beautiful Smoothers Shaping Hosiery!

Do you mistake us for sincere?

We adorn ourselves thus to mock the capitalist sacrament of annual materials exchange…

Those were the ones we appreciated. Here are the rest.

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Kim Kardashian Bares All In Russian Playboy

Beauty Queen Drops Dead on Stage

Russian Recession Roast is One Piece of Meat We'll Not Eat

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Bearded Man of the Week: Justin Vernon

Emily Farris — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 23:37:00 GMT

We've heard Bon Iver's "Skinny Love" played all over the place for the last six months or so, always thinking we were listening to TV on the Radio. We should know better, considering Kyp Malone of TVOTR used to be our upstairs neighbor. But, apparently living close to coolness does not make one cool.

After discovering that the man singing was Justin Vernon we set out to learn one thing: does he have a beard? You fucking bet he does.

Watch these videos and tell us you're not in love with him, too:

We totally want him to put a baby in us. But just one.

Related:

Bearded Man of the Week: Dr. Jack Shephard

Bearded Man of the Week: Joaquin Phoenix

Bearded Man of the Week: Sam Beam

Bearded Man of the Week: Prince William

Bearded Man of the Week: There Could Only Be One

Bearded Man of the Week: Zach Galifianakis

We Finally Found a Beard We Simply Cannot Endorse

Emily Farris — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 17:01:00 GMT

Did you ever think that we'd meet a beard we didn't love? Well, kids. Today we did.

We understand there are spiritual issues behind the length of this beard and by all means if you think God wants you to grow a beard, who are we to argue? But we just can't, er don't want to, imagine getting our feet all tangled up in this thing during sex:

via videosift.com

Bearded Men of the Week: Unshaven Bartenders in New York

I Hate Myself for Loving You: "Men in Trees"

Bearded Man of the Week: Dr. Jack Shephard

Emily Farris — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 22:43:00 GMT

It's pretty obvious to everyone by this point that the LOST producers and writers have no idea what they're talking about. So we're not surprised that two of the producers last night called Dr. Jack Shephard's beard "gross." While we saw the beard in Season 4, it made a re-appearance in Season 5. And since stupid Ben Linus made Jack shave it off last night, we will honor the great beard that was, after the jump.

Yummy! Damn you, Benjamin Linus!

Related:

Bearded Man of the Week: Zach Galifianakis

Bearded Man of the Week: Sam Beam

Bearded Man of the Week: Joaquin Phoenix

Our Bearded Man of Last Week Has Some Issues

Emily Farris — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 19:07:00 GMT

So, we're starting to think we should just find a homeless dude to be our boyfriend. Because we're definitely not turned off by this picture of Joaquin Phoenix. In fact—well, never mind...

Anyway, that's not why we're posting it. The poor guy fell at a concert last week and after watching the video (after the jump) we want to just scoop him up and hug him. And maybe, just maybe, throw him in a shower to sober him up. But we're keeping the beard!

Related:

Bearded Man of the Week: Joaquin Phoenix

Bearded Man of the Week: Sam Beam

[via LadyThrills]

Bearded Men of the Week: Unshaven Bartenders in New York

Emily Farris — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 23:57:00 GMT

Last month, a slew of New York City bartenders decided to grow out their beards, just for the hell of it. Well, that and to make us rethink our rule against dating bartenders. And our decision to leave to leave New York.

Glorious hairy pictures after the jump...

[Time Out New York: Bear market indeed: Unshaven bartenders face off]

Related:

Bearded Man of the Week: There Could Only Be One

Bearded Man of the Week: Zach Galifianakis

Bearded Man of the Week: Sam Beam

Bearded Man of the Week: Prince William

Bearded Man of the Week: Joaquin Phoenix

Bearded Woman of the Week: Erin Dollar

Bearded Man of the Week: Joaquin Phoenix

Emily Farris — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 22:37:00 GMT

We've always like Joaquin Phoenix just fine. We loved him in "Walk the Line" and even, shamefully, in "The Village." But we've never wanted to, you know, shove him into the nearest bathroom stall and rip his clothes of. Well, not until now, anyway. Joaquin grew a beard!

We pulled this image from Dlisted. They didn't like his beard as much over there, just look at what the image was named: http://www.dlisted.com/node/29980/images/joaquinishideous2.jpg

That's fine D, we'll take him at Scanner.

Related:

Bearded Man of the Week: There Could Only Be One

Bearded Man of the Week: Zach Galifianakis

Bearded Man of the Week: Sam Beam

Bearded Man of the Week: Prince William

Bearded Woman of the Week: Erin Dollar

Scanner Highs and Lows: Auld Lang Syne

Emily Farris — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 22:02:00 GMT

It seems like just last year that we were doing this...

Highs:

Hey, apparently, we're going to get laid more this year. We hope. Please.

We discussed the pros and cons of oral sex, without you.

We took a few days off.

We learned that Scanner Brian has better hair than he used to.

Then he showed us some funny pictures.

And reminded us how creepy we can all be sometimes.

Speaking of funny pictures, we made a carrot feel a lot better about himself.

We contemplated time travel.

We were rated NC-17.

Lows:

We learned just what kind of crazy, obsessive society we live in.

We worried some famous people would die.

We didn't get everything we wanted for Christmas.

We looked back at the lessons learned last year.

We found yet another reason to be glad we left New York when we did.

Teachers continue to believe children are the future, show them all the beauty they posses inside.

We were disappointed by the updated "Joy of Sex."

Bearded Man of the Week: Prince William

Emily Farris — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 21:01:00 GMT

Sorry we're a little (okay, a lot) late on the Bearded Man this week. Believe it or not, we had a hard time coming up with one (send bearded men to scanner@nerve.com or straight to Scanner Emily in Kansas City!) until we saw this little headline: "POLL: What Do You Think of Prince William’s New Beard?"

Hot damn!

We think the beard is a vast improvement on his royal baby face. What do you think?

[People: POLL: What Do You Think of Prince William’s New Beard?]

Related:

Bearded Man of the Week: There Could Only Be One

Bearded Man of the Week: Zach Galifianakis

Bearded Man of the Week: Sam Beam

Bearded Woman of the Week: Erin Dollar

PapSmeared: The Cyruses Are Married... With Children

Emily Farris — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 23:19:00 GMT

[Image]

Because Yesterday We Watched Eight Episodes of "HOUSE" and Had Just as Many Gin and Tonics

Emily Farris — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 14:33:00 GMT

Because You Don't Have Enough Lolcats in Your Life, At Least Not Today

Back in Two and Two

Emily Farris — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 23:28:00 GMT

Well, really just two. We're taking the next two days off (well, most of us; we suspect Scanner Brian has to blog at least every other day to stay alive). Happy non-denominational holidays from our family to yours.

[Image]

Bearded Man of the Week: There Could Only Be One

Emily Farris — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 19:12:00 GMT

I was busy moving into my new apartment yesterday so I wasn't able to post the bearded man of the week. But come on folks, this week it could really only be one guy—the ultimate bearded man...

Santa Claus!

No one rocks the beard better than Santa. His is the biggest, the longest and for being the biggest and the longest it is, by far, the cleanest. However, we're more partial to the natural look on Santa.

You?

Related:

Bearded Man of the Week: Zach Galifianakis

Bearded Man of the Week: Sam Beam

Bearded Woman of the Week: Erin Dollar

Better Than Porn: Whiskerino

[Image, Image]

The Gamer Next Door Models Your Last-Minute Gifts

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 21:34:00 GMT

The best part about buying lingerie for yourself and/or your loved one is that it's a gift that gives and receives. Oh, and it's considerably more thoughtful than other clothing purchases.

Playboy's Gamer Next Door shows you what you need to know...

Poorly edited, written (or "ad libbed"), shot, and... good Lord... did she just say "innerestin'"? Indeed.

Also, she doesn't feel "very green" by donating books to the Salvation Army? My dear, that's known as "recycling." Other than that, we, um, enjoyed the costuming in this film production and the realization that Rayman's Raving Rabbits is the first game we can play with our asses.

Via YouTube.

Your Frenemy's Christmas Gift: The Artifical Virginity Hymen

The Day Hugh Hefner Almost Swallowed a Sex Toy

Italians Find Your G-Spot, Promptly Lose It Again

Your Christmas Will Probably Be Better Than This

Colleen Kane — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 16:23:00 GMT

No matter how much you might dread Christmas, at least it probably won't as bad as the following classic scene from John Waters' Female Trouble.

Here's to everybody getting those cha-cha heels, or whatever you may wish for this year.

Who Would You Rather: Chipmunk-Lusting Director or Discipline-Dealing Batman?

This Year's Most Annoying Christmas Commercial

The 10 Most Awesome Characters at the 1925 Office Christmas Party

Colleen Kane — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 16:09:00 GMT

I am mesmerized by this office party photo from the vintage photo blog Shorpy (view the giant hi-res photo there). The participants might at first glance look like a bunch of stiffs in front of the world's most tragic pre-Charlie Brown Christmas tree, but after careful study, I present the ten most outstanding people at this party.

Here we have a comedy duo of two schnockered gentlemen...or possibly ladies? Whatever they are, they are enjoying themselves.

Below, the woman on the left is the troubled black sheep of the group, her mind a million miles away, occupied with very heavy thoughts of literature and poetry that no one bothers to learn about anymore. Girfriend in the center there is the "it girl" of the crowd, the kind of gal fellas crooned songs about while strumming the banjo. Meanwhile, lady on the right is shooting beams of hatred from her eyes into the back of our black sheep's head.

This woman below is the wild fun intern I'd want to hang out with if I went to this party. She even brought props: her bear, her oil can, a little house, she's all set for whatever.

Say, this next fellow is the Robert Redford of the bunch. I didn't realize they made men's faces that handsome back then. Too bad about the hair, but a fedora will cover that right up.

Below left is the Rain Man of the bunch, who would be annoying as a long term office-mate but for the purposes of party tricks, he most likey can recite the sum of the ages of everyone in the room and various obscure statistics at will. Next to him, a dastardly villain!

And finally, this guy:

If only our office party had this lineup. If only anyone had an office party anymore in 2008.

Does the Establishment Clause Exclude Santa Claus?

Holiday Gift Guide: Nothing Says 'Merry Christmas' Like a Last-Minute Magazine Subscription

Most Repulsive Christmas Video of the Year

Scanner Matt — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 18:39:00 GMT

This is absolutely disgusting. We doubt you'll even be able to sit through the video that follows. Apparently this family has been making short Christmas videos about their dog since 2002. We're horrified. Why would someone do something so repulsive? The easy answer is: They're the Bush family.

This is definitely safe to view at work, though we must warn you not to eat anything while viewing the freak show as you are in danger of puking all over the place.

Happy Holidays!

Related:

**Bush: "People Voted For Barack Obama Because of Me" No sh*t!**

George Bush: From White House to 'Whites Only' House

Is this guy the Barack Obama of the GOP? Um, no.

[image]

Caption This: George Clooney Sees His Christmas Future

Emily Farris — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 14:47:00 GMT

(Ed Note: We write captions for these to 1. show off how clever we are and 2. give you the opportunity to be more clever than us. So caption this already!)

[Image]

While You Were Sleeping: The No Pants Ride

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 14:09:00 GMT

Idiots are already out with 2012 Presidential election polls. Thankfully, we have 2004 predictions to show you the futility of these fact-finding missions: Rudy Guiliani defeats John Kerry or John Edwards or Hillary Clinton in the 2008 race to the White House.

Meanwhile, the Electoral College named Barack Obama as the President-elect and Kerry is the new head of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee.

A major movie star from the past has turned to blogging to amuse himself...

Post Election
Current mood: hopeful

As you know, I urged the young people to vote. And I'm so gratified that we had the largest number of young people voting that we've ever had. Of course, I was careful not to sway their votes. But I must admit, I'm very happy that our country has made such a historical move. The world will be astounded that the United States has elected a black man to lead them. I never imagined that such an event would be possible during my lifetime. I think our country will now go on a course that permits us to work with other countries.

The comments that I received from other countries all tell me how much people have the same dreams and we must all work together in order to fulfill those dreams.

...so says Kirk Douglas on his MySpace page.

Anthony Pellicano received a whopping 15-year prison sentence.

This interview with Jon Hamm by our Bearded Man of (Last) Week is goddamned funny as hell.

The latest victims of the economic downturn: Marines and the kids they give gifts to.

That Follieri Guy, Anne Hathaway's most recent terrible boyfriend choice, owes $3.6 mil.

And the next No Pants Subway Ride in New York City is January 10th.

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While You Were Sleeping: Emma Watson To Get Naked?

Sloppy Seconds: Frisky's Ten Best Male Nude Scenes List

The 50 Sexiest Movies of All-Time: 30-21

You Missed Out on Santacon Again...

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 16:18:00 GMT

The first rule of Santacon is similar to that of Fight Club. So, instead of telling you all about the yearly, ultra-secret flash mob involving Santa impersonators in cities worldwide, we'll show you what it's like...

These two videos should tell the rest.

Via Santacon.com.

Related:

Holiday Shopping Tips From A Stripper

Tis the Season for Sexually Assaulting Santa

Santa Got Back

What's Red, White and Drunk All Over?

While You Were Sleeping: George W. Bush Under Attack

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 14:08:00 GMT

Apparently, bisexual men enjoy The Rock.

What are these parents going to tell their kids when they get beat up because they insist, even into their later years, that they clearly remember going to the North Pole, where they met Ronald McDonald and Santa Claus?

The producer of Don't Look Now's unforgettable sex scene clears up the "did they or didn't they" debate:

“My company had made it and it was the most beautiful lovemaking scene with Donald Sutherland [and Julie Christie.]

“[It was] beautiful visually and beautiful emotionally because it is in fact about a married couple who have gone through a terrible tragedy and they are trying to get themselves back together so it was a very strong, important part of the picture.”

However, Deeley insisted that contrary to popular belief Sutherland and Christie were merely acting.

As usual, Hollywood's shitty fare fell flat on its face at the box office this weekend.

At 33, Tara Reid finally checked into rehab.

A teenage girl had her party crashed by an obnoxious Facebook group. On the plus side, it might lead to a modeling contract for her.

And George Bush was nearly assaulted by two flying shoes at a press conference. They were thrown by an Iraqi journalist, who said something like "This is the end, you dog" and wanted to insult Junior.

Bush: "People Voted For Barack Obama Because of Me" No sh*t!

New York Mag News Flash: Women Drink Like Men, Except Not

Sloppy Seconds: The 69-Year-Old Pinup Dude

Top 5 Susan Sarandon Sex Scenes

Holiday Shopping Tips From A Stripper

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 20:35:00 GMT

It's been a couple of Fridays since we solicited expert advice from our non-resident stripper friend, Jocelyn Testes-Harder, the ex-lapdancer of Richmond, Virginny, whose MySpace status mood notes she is "horny." This week, we talk to Jocelyn about the problem that's been bugging us the most: Christmas shopping in today's hectic world...

Jocelyn: This season's supposed to be about fun... and not about spending money.

Scanner Brian: Absolutely. As far as we're concerned, Christmas is all about the holiday spirit-- in our case, gin. Oh, and Santacon. Speaking of not spending any money, did you do the Black Friday sales? Was that you at the Long Island Wal-Mart...?

J: You won't find me at those Black Friday sales until just after the stores open. I park my van in a handicapped accessible spot, and watch those first few lucky customers come striding out, smiling over the purchase of a few limited supply items. I follow them from that parking lot to wherever they shop next. Most of them head to the mall. Then, once they've gone inside, I perform a quick smash and grab out of their parked car. Nothing could be easier! Phil is really going to love his new 36" HD television!

SB: All right, maybe we should edit that out. We don't want to have to testify. So... we don't think we're going to make it home for Christmas this year and we're worried about shipping...

J: I bought the cutest little UPS girl outfit a few Halloweens ago, and it's becoming an indispensable part of my holiday routine. Nobody even notices me when I'm out on my lunch break, hitting up front stoops of houses for a "pick-up". It's nice when the companies put their logos on the shipping boxes so you know what you're getting. I hope my three year old enjoys her new laptop computer!

SB: All right, let's go off the theft tangent for a second. With the economy in the toilet, are you cutting back? Getting some handouts this year?

J: I apply to those programs with falsified information so my kids can get a few extra gifts out of it. You should see the look on those volunteers faces when they have to deliver that stuff to our well furnished townhouse! But this method doesn't allow you to select what types of toys they bring. So go out earlier in the month and rummage around in their donation bins at the front of stores, and in office buildings.

SB: Thanks, Jocelyn. All right, everybody, make sure to check out Jocelyn's website, it's seriously the only thing worth reading besides Nerve. Or the Rod Blago transcripts...

Via Filthy Richmond.

Related:

Tips From A Stripper: On Saving The Environment

Tips From A Stripper: Dating

Natalie Portman & Rashida Jones Issue A Sobering Holiday Message

Colleen Kane — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 18:21:00 GMT

We are knee-deep in that magical time of year when we reflect about the true meaning of Christmas, and maybe there really IS a Santa after all, and that Christmas comes but once a year, and dreidel dreidel dreidel made of clay, and so on.

Natalie Portman and Rashida Jones have another message of grave importance to contribute at this contemplative time, and you can watch it after the jump.

NATALIE PORTMAN & RASHIDA JONES Speak Out Once More by Natalie Portman

The Results Are In: Who Would You Rather, Scarlett Johansson or Natalie Portman?

Who Would You Rather, Boleyn Girls Edition: Scarlett Johansson or Natalie Portman?

Sloppy Seconds: Paris Hilton's Pussy Cat, Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman Talk Politics, Ethan Hawke's Belly, Porn and Snow

Image: aceshowbiz.com

Sloppy Seconds: Giving Vibrators To Teenage Girls

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 22:31:00 GMT

Michael Lohan can't beat up any celebrities until his parole ends.

Mac users, rejoice: a compendium of shortcuts to the rescue.

You may be jealous over who Emily Blunt has shacked up with... we'll remain positive by saying he's at least cooler than Michael Buble...

A source tells the magazine, "They ordered room service, took long walks and spent every second together. John really cares for Emily - he totally fawns over her. And she's loving the attention. She's a down-to-earth girl, but it's nice to be treated so well."

It's John Krasinski, who is one of the few guys we wouldn't hate for getting to have breakfast in bed with Emily Blunt...

Carrie Fisher's mother Debbie Reynolds gave her and Carrie's grandmother vibrators for Christmas... when Carrie was 15... and other highlights from Fisher's latest memoir.

Eva Longoria's diet plan? Get rid of meat and stick with the fish.

We can do better than some of these Famous People's Personalized Credit Cards, can't we? Although we dig the Michael Vick one.

A hockey fight so brutal, we blew off some steam just watching it.

Lou Reed's Classic Example Of How To Give An Interview

Having Painful Sex? The Men of New Jersey Would Like To Help

Your Next Significant Other Should Be...

Hot or Not? Cindy Crawford at 42

Merry Christmas... From the KKK?

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 17:43:00 GMT

What does that look like to you?

You wouldn't be the first to say: "burning cross." However, as Gizmodo points out, it's actually a 210-LED light holiday cross from the American Family Association and not at all affiliated with the KKK. Not at all...

As the season for joy nears, people are already getting ready for their Xmas lighting decoration. And if you are a store manager at the American Family Association, that means a burning cross in your doorstep. Because nothing says "Let's celebrate Jesus' birthday" better than the symbol of his dead in glowing LED glory, 210 of them. [Gizmodo]

Who the hell came up with this? Doesn't the AFA focus group all their new products? Wait, never mind... the problem is that they probably did market test this cross and it was give the A-OK by Middle Americans...

More scariness here.

Related:

"The Real World: Facebook" or Scanner Emily vs. The Mormons

This Baptist Minister Thinks You Should Be Having More Sex

The Second Life Divorce Gets Funnier After The Split

Cheating Wife Claims To Still Love Her Husband... After 18 Month Affair

Scanner Highs and Lows: Even Sarah Palin's Breasts Want You to Vote for Barack Obama

Emily Farris — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 22:01:00 GMT

Oh, those aren't Sarah Palin's breasts? Well, with all the nude pictures of the Republican veep nominee floating around the Interwebs, you could have fooled us.

Highs:

We learned to love Matt Damon. A little.

We helped spread some rumors about the Palin kids. And that was fun.

We did what we could to help the giant penis man.

We got super sappy over Ellen Degeneres and Portia de Rossi's wedding video.

We just can't get enough Photoshopped pictures of Republicans.

We found the most ~~inappropriate~~ amazing slide ever.

We know what you're getting for Christmas.

We learned some new ways to talk about masturbation.

Lows:

Sam Ronson and Lindsay Lohan reminded us that yesterday was September 11. And then it got worse.

We learned the war on sex may last longer than the war in Iraq.

We were completely overwhelmed with nude pictures of Sarah Palin.

We saw our future flash before our eyes, and devised a plan to change it.

Minnie Driver still won't tell us who her baby daddy is. But we have some ideas on the subject.

We sold out on our local Fox station.

[Image]

Sloppy Seconds: Kim Kardashian's Cheap, Sexy Christmas Underwear Guide

Emily Farris — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 16:57:00 GMT

New York's free newspaper brings us Sexy underwear for every budget (including Scanner Emily's favorite poor-girl's Target line).

The Jamaica Observer shares The Single Woman's Guide to Surviving Christmas and New Year's. Click through to get started on that "sexy ritual" ASAP.

Kim Kardashian used to pray her boobies would stop growing... while we're still hoping to get ours.

Alterna-Santas, Making Christmas a Little Less Special for Kids Everywhere

Emily Farris — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 17:30:00 GMT

For "a country where no two people can order the same coffee drink," Wired brings us a round-up of Alterna-Santas, including the Objectivist Santa, The Athiest Santa and the Parent Appreciation Santa:

Let's face it: Santa is kind of a jerk. He swoops in once a year and lays a bunch of presents at your children's feet, and they love him even more than you and Ronald McDonald. Where was Santa when your kid had an ear infection? Sitting around smoking a pipe and drinking Coca-Cola, that's where. Parent Appreciation Santa understands your position, and that's why he shows up not with presents, but with pictures of you slaving away at work, cleaning the house and standing in line at 3 in the freaking morning to get a Wii. "I didn't bring anything," he explains, "but let's open the presents your parents got you, because they love you more than any hairy, polar-dwelling creep could."

That sounds about like the Santa we knew and loved.

Wired: Alt.Santas Put the X Back in Xmas

Video of the Day: "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town" and it Freaks Me Out!

Bryan Christian — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 16:20:00 GMT

We don't remember a single thing about the animated Christmas special Santa Claus is Comin' To Town, even though it was on the other day and we caught about half of it while we were making dinner. Certainly we don't remember Jessica, the future Mrs. Claus, being such a betty. But the main thing we don't remember? When she up and joined the Carrie Nations. Do "In the Long Run"!

Actually, we seeing a few reports that this is a deleted scene that's maybe been put on the web from the DVD or something. Anyone out there watch this special a little more closely than us when it was re-aired by CBS a few weeks ago? Did this trippy number make the cut?

[Via Star 102.1 FM -- Knoxville's #1 Station for Demented Christmas Treats]

Dancing Elves: Curing Holidayitis One Click at a Time

Emily Farris — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 20:03:00 GMT

It's only Wednesday, but with Christmas coming up and the Nerve Holiday Gift Guide filling up Scanner, it feels a little like the Friday before a holiday in elementary school when the teachers would just give us word searches and coloring sheets because they didn't want to do actual work any more than we did. That's why we've spent much of today doing stupid shit, like turning ourselves into dancing elves.

P.S. Send tips!