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Top 10 TV Nipple Slips and Wardrobe Malfunctions

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 18:59:00 GMT

You know, because Janet Jackson wasn't the first one to lose her outfit live on national television...

It's difficult to imagine, we know, but even game shows in the 60s and 70s were famous for nipple slips. Luckily, YouTube, Google Video and other online sources have managed to salvage some of the most memorable moments. They're all pretty much two seconds long, but this will make you a better future Trivial Pursuit contestant... since you know that's all that we're going to talk about in 20 years, the way our Idiocracy is going.

Here are ten in no particular order...

Ron Jeremy's High School Play Video Leaked!

Tara Reid Wishes She Was Actually Listening To What The Little People Were Yelling About

Jennifer Hawkins (the 2004 Miss Universe) Returns to Australia to Moon Her Hometown

The Match Game (okay, this is more of a "nipple slip" of the tongue, but hey... break it up a bit, ya know)

Eva Mendes Was Really Asking For It This Time

N Is For Nipples - TV Show Host Flashes Kids

Haven't Seen This Janet Jackson Nip Slip Before... Is It New?

They Let the Wrestlers Beat Up the Refs, But An Ass And Nipple Slip Is An Ejection?!

As Bob Barker Says, "She came on down and they came on out!" [sfw]

And finally, Meredith Viera pulls a Justin Timberlake on Helen Mirren:

Related:

Top 5 "The Price Is Right" Clips

Beyonce Stuns Lone Oscar Viewer With Nipple Slip

Nipplegate II: The Russian Skater Shocker

Mischa Barton Can't Keep Her Clothes On

Caption This: Agyness Deyn And Her Friend's See-Through

Fox News Enjoys Your Big Butt

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 16:36:00 GMT

Fox News in Phoenix had one of its poor, long-suffering female correspondents file a report on big butts and why they're absolutely wonderful for your health. Okay, this we gotta see...

"Right in the ol' badonk?" Dirty Diane, clearly you are obsessed. Also, apparently, big butts are what made Beyonce and J-Lo famous and there's no need to work out that much if your ass is gigantic. Thanks, Fox.

We'll never look at apples the same way.

Via MyFoxPhoenix.

Yahoo Thinks It Knows Why You Never Make It To That Second Date

Our Favorite Stripper Wants You To Be Patriotic, Drink PBR

Hot or Not: The Doodle Bra?

Beyonce Stuns Lone Oscar Viewer With Nipple Slip

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 15:39:00 GMT

You know what would have made this ten-years-too-late "tribute to the musical" dance sequence, which Beyonce apparently lip-synched her way through? A nipple slip.

In fact, we would've gone in for any nipple slip, wardrobe malfunction, or giant crotch bulge-- even Mickey Rourke's-- if it had guaranteed the show was worth three-and-a-half hours of our time. It turns out, there was a nipple slip, although every single person in the world missed it... except for one photographer...

Click on the photo for a new tab/window with the full-size picture.

Ah... we were wondering why Hugh Jackman seemed so aroused during the dance... we had wrongly assumed it was because musicals are so sexy.

Via unknown photographer.

Related:

Brazilian Carnival Outdoing Itself Almost Daily With Risque Nudity

Mr. Skin's 2009 Naked Oscar Nominees, Free & Uncensored

Kate Moss Stocks Up On Beer, Strips For New York Magazine

New Female Railway Uniforms Are A Tid Bit Nipply

While You Were Sleeping: Barack Obama's Big Move

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 14:08:00 GMT

Alan Greenspan reveals the man responsible for the grave economic crisis we're facing: it's jazz musician Stan Getz.

Apparently, I, Brian Fairbanks had something to do with that Oregon stripper mayor getting stripped of her duties. We don't understand this link either.

This guy won't be able to accompany his 17-year-old wife to her high school dances...

Five pieces of facial jewelry may be all that is stopping a high school senior from attending any school dances with the 19-year-old man she recently married.
Casey Engstrom, 19, graduated from Hubbard High School in 2007. He has since married Brittany, 17, who is still a senior at the high school. The young couple now lives a stone’s throw away from the high school with Casey Engstrom’s grandmother, but Casey Engstrom will not be permitted to attend any school dances with his new wife. Casey Engstrom has been informed that he is banned from such school functions because of skin-stretching jewelry in his lip and ears. [Link]

Cynthia Nixon got involved in a debate about her kids' school, with video.

Send folk singer Odetta a card-- she's in critical condition in a New York hospital.

A man listed a beat up, useless automobile on e-bay for a few hundred dollars and then all but forgot about it. When the auction closed at well over $200,000, it became clear that the car was only one of six of its kind ever made.

Can someone explain to us why the TRL finale was on a Sunday night? Anyway, it featured a stunning cast of music stars, including Eminem, Justin Timberlake, and Beyonce.

And Barack Obama had a busy Sunday: he resigned his Senate seat, gave the Democratic radio address, and addressed the nation... all on YouTube.

Related:

Oregon Stripper-Mayor Stripped of Power: Let Freedom Reign!

Female Reverend Banned From Preaching After Drunken Swingers Weekend

It's About Damn Time The World Had a Black Wonder Woman

Hot Teacher Caught After Three-Year Affair With Female Student

While You Were Sleeping: Nude Photo Hoax

Sloppy Seconds: Photos of New Planets, Yay!

Why Beyonce Was In No Hurry to Marry Jay-Z

Emily Farris — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 18:03:00 GMT

We may not like her new single, "If I Were a Boy," but we do like the way Beyonce thinks about love and marriage. She married her rapper beau Jay-Z last April, but it was a long time coming... and for all the right reasons.

In a recent interview with Seventeen, Beyonce said she met Jay-Z when she was 18, started dating him at 19, but waited until her late twenties to marry him because...

"I really don’t believe that you will love the same thing when you’re 20 as you do at 30," Beyonce, now 27, told the magazine. "So that was my rule: Before the age of 25, I would never get married... I feel like you have to get to know yourself, know what you want, spend some time by yourself and be proud of who you are before you can share that with someone else."

Now, if she could just apply that same reasoning to pop songs, the world would be a much better place.

[Us: Beyonce: I Was in No Rush to Marry Jay-Z]

Related:

It's About Damn Time The World Had a Black Wonder Woman

Caption This: Euro Beyonce

Breaking News: Beyonce Is Now White

While You Were Sleeping: Beyonce Is One Sexy Cop

Caption This: Euro Beyonce

Emily Farris — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 18:07:00 GMT

Beyonce performs "If I Were a Boy" at the 2008 MTV Europe Music Awards.

Video after the jump.

[Image]

While You Were Sleeping: Beyonce Is One Sexy Cop

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 13:59:00 GMT

If you're out walking your dog naked, watch out for tasers.

No one should be surprised that the oil companies are corrupt, least of all Chevron.

A man heard noises in his daughter's bedroom and crept in, lead pipe in hand. He saw a naked male he did not recognize standing on the bed with his back to the door...

[The father] swung a metal pipe. He then chased the teen out the front door and called police.

The boy [who turned out to be the daughter's secret, yearlong boyfriend] was taken to the hospital where doctors closed a head wound with staples. Colon was charged with aggravated battery on a child and bonded out on $10,000. [Local 6]

You know, we kind of feel bad for the Dad... maybe we wouldn't have whacked the naked man with a pipe, but we probably would have at least tried to take the guy down... no?

A man threw a $10,000 bar mitzvah for his beloved thirteen-year-old. In most places, that would be on the cheaper side, if not for the fact that the thirteen-year-old we're referring to is his dog.

lvis Best’s “bark mitzvah,” held last August, was attended by more than thirty of father’s friends (including Dr. Ruth and Patti LuPone. The festivities, held at Sammy’s Roumanian Steakhouse, featured many traditional moments—including the reading of the torah—and plenty of dancing. Elvis even got a Louis Vuitton dog collar as a gift.

Shoot us now. In other news:

46-year-old intellectual/author/footnote dweeb David Foster Wallace committed suicide by hanging himself.

Who'd complain about a hot sex scene with Thandie Newton? Not Gerard Butler, star of Guy Ritchie's upcoming film...

Beyonce was in New York filming her new video the other day (it's for her lead single "If I Were A Boy," which we hope is as hot as the title makes it sound)

Thanks, Immora!

Related:

Breaking News: Beyonce Is Now White

"This Is The City's Response To A Penis"...

75 Nude Bicyclists Rally Around Dad And His 3-Year-Old

Hot Or Not: Skinny Actresses

Starpulse's Celebs Who Should Go Nude: Who's Missing?

We Call B.S. on Super Sexist "Daily Mail" Article

Sloppy Seconds: Kirsten Dunst Goes Off The Deep End

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 16 May 2008 21:17:00 GMT

Relax, everyone, Halle Berry is not engaged to her baby daddy Gabriel Aubry. (P.S. ...yet.) Thank God, since she's one of the last hotties still almost not-quite available; as for Beyonce, she may be pregnant... and we heard she might be married.

Perhaps inspired by the Barbara Walters book and her startling reveleations, other elderly people are getting in on the dated-a-future-famous-person memoir. And we might actually read it.

MTV wants you to "meet" the R. Kelly jury. What do we care? He's going to get off, one way or another...

Kathie Lee Gifford is back and pissed that The View is more tolerable than her own show.

And finally, have a great weekend, but try not to have the weekend Kirsten Dunst will have:

[She] was allegedly seen drinking and dancing with pals - including The Strokes' Fabrizio Moretti - at a local bar. A source tells U.S. magazine Star, "She got worse as the night went on. She started out pretty chilled, but hours later she was dancing and jumping like a crazed animal. She indulged in any guy who would have her attention. She also went up to several guys and started flirting with them hard-core. She was just completely out of it. It was obvious that whatever happened in rehab didn't stick." [IMDB]

Who The Hell? FHM's Sexiest Woman in The World

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Maybe we are falling behind, but we had only barely heard of FHM's #1 Sexiest Woman In The World before today's announcement. Does that make us bad bloggers... or heroic ones, since we did not have to subject you to our musings on her until now?

And the winner is...

Megan Fox!

Megan who? Apparently, she was in Transformers, which we still cannot believe was actually a theatrical motion picture and, even funnier, that thinking people actually paid up to $11 to see. We wouldn't be surprised if the new Indiana Jones movie bombs because it's too intelligent and doesn't have enough robotic explosions for people to shit their pants over.

But that's beside the point.

The point is: who the Christ is Megan Fox? We understand almost all the other entries on the list (#4 Elisha Cuthbert, #11 Hayden Panettiere, #20 Beyonce, etc.), although we're not sure why other guys continue to drool over boring chicks like Jessica Alba [#3} and Jessica Biel [#2], or anyone named Jessica, for that matter, without the last name of Lange. However, we would put in the earplugs and do Simpson in a heartbeat.)

Anyway, check out FHM's list, if the damn page ever loads...

Top Photo: FHM; Bottom Photo: GQ

Piss-Poor Photoshoppers Add Third Arm To Beyoncé

Bryan Christian — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:14:00 GMT

We don't care how bootylicious you are; it's a tough look to pull off.

[Photoshop Disasters, via BoingBoing]

Previously on Scanner: When Re-Touchers Get a Little Magic Wand Happy We All Suffer, Especially Scanner Emily