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Scanner Highs and Lows: Is That a Hot Dog in Your Pocket or Are You Just Happy to See Us?

Emily Farris — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 20:35:00 GMT

Because we're happy to see you, too...

Oh, sorry. We were actually talking to the hot dog. We're really excited to see the hot dog. Aren't you? That's why we'll keep this highs and lows business short this short week.

Highs:

We began our countdown of the 50 sexiest albums you must own (50-41, 40-31, 30-21, 20-11)

We learned why our areolas are so pale.

We learned that sex is really good for you. And can even save your life.

Lows:

We crushed on Pete Wentz (and his huge penis!).

We let ourselves get involved in a celebrity clusterfuck.

We finally found one part of our body we never want to get tattooed.

Sloppy Seconds: The Pregnant Man is No Longer Pregnant

Emily Farris — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 20:02:00 GMT

We have to admit, we'd be pretty fucking scared if Hulk Hogan was stalking us, so we feel you Linda. We do. [People]

We don't know what you're doing this weekend, but we're going to the vagina spa. [NYT]

Rachael Ray's people want you to eat lots and lots and lots and lots of hamburgers this weekend. Or else you're fired. [TMZ

Michael Lohan sure does like stage moms. Apparently the mother of his "secret love child" is already shopping around a record deal for the 13-year-old. [dListed]

How do we get an invitation to Lindsay Lohan's gay wedding? Because why else would she be shopping at Cartier, right? [PopSugar]

What would happen if a 500-kilometer meteorite hit Earth? For starters, we'd be fucked. [Neatorama]

Mandy Moore is single again. And oh so pretty. [GabbyBabble]

Thomas Beatie, the "pregnant man," gave birth to a healthy baby girl on Sunday. [ABC]

Who Would You Rather: Founding Fathers Edition

Emily Farris — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 19:37:00 GMT

Before we feel comfortable celebrating the Independence of our great nation with hot dogs, beer and debauchery, we have to settle one very important matter: which Founding Father would you fuck, if you had to fuck one?

Pictured above are James Madison and Thomas Jefferson, but we imagine if given the choice, we'd go for someone a little more schlubby, like Ethan Allen.

The 50 Sexiest Albums You Must Own (20-11)

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 19:02:00 GMT

We're into the Top 20 now, which had damn well better include the Godfather of Soul Sex all right!

Anyway, as always, we welcome your suggestions...

To catch yourself up, check out 21-30, 31-40, and 41-50.

20. Hard Again – Muddy Waters

Yard work + shirtless + "Mannish Boy" blasting out of the garage stereo = guaranteed action.

19. A Melody of Certain Damaged Lemons – Blonde Redhead

Despite being an arguably more enticing singer, Kazu Makino has never achieved the same level of sex symbolism as a Liz Phair or a Jenny Lewis, but maybe that's because she's stayed in the indie underground... and, well, hasn't dated Jake Gyllenhaall. But anyone who has ever seen Blonde Redhead in concert can tell you they usually find themselves lost in a trance for the entire show, especially when Kazu and the guys play this album's best cut, “In Particular.”

18. White Blood Cells – The White Stripes

Guys across the world are in love with Meg White's large breasts, major cuteness, and apparent total shyness, while girls appreciate guys who sigh in agreement with “I'm Finding It Harder to Be A Gentleman,” and everyone loves the Lego video.

17. The Velvet Underground & Nico – The Velvet Underground

The greatest and most influential band to never make the big time, they arguably invented noise rock, punk, hard rock, drug songs, and having Warhol's Factory Girls whipped on stage. S&M anthems like “Venus in Furs,” even near-monotone vocals on songs like “Femme Fatale” are worth the price of this album-- hell, the 5-CD box set-- alone. By the way, the cover of that box (as well as the first album) features the famous peel-able banana designed by Andy Warhol. It reveals, ahem, a very pink phallic symbol underneath...

16. My Funny Valentine – Chet Baker

This one's all about the title track, a #1 hit in 1952 that made the jazz trumpeter famous the world over. There are 13 other love songs on this disc, but this is the only one you'll put on repeat.

15. Baduizm - Eryka Badu

Metro Active's review noted "Badu's delicately trilling, snaky voice," which is a pretty apt description for why this smash debut album still plays on our stereo. That and our gay neighbor in Louisiana told us it almost turned him straight-- now that's sexy.

14. Horses – Patti Smith

An odd choice, we'll admit, but if any single album can make a lanky, androgynous woman with a thick Yankee accent dressed in men's clothes sexy, it deserves a place among the essentials. The opening line alone has been known to turn those not previously disposed to the ladies into fervent fans. Of course, we won't ruin it for you if you don't know it...

13. Best of – B.B. King

Yep, “The Thrill is Gone” can be sexy in the right context-- more importantly, B.B. is sexy in any context.

12. Loveless – My Bloody Valentine

Kevin Shields broke new ground with this album in 1991, mixing the sensuous, ethereal vocals at the same level as the feedback-laden guitars, although few have tried to copy the expensive and grueling process. It's a shame, because it makes for great listening, especially when you skip to track 3, crank up the lava lamp, and take it real slow, like you would in space.

11. Live At the Apollo – James Brown

While we wouldn't exactly consider a near riot and frantic 40-second songs your best choice for mood music, there is no doubting the incredible sexual energy on this legendary live album. With each scream, with each “Please, Please, Please,” you can actually hear Brown make incredible love to each audience member-- who respond with equally ecstatic howls, moans, and shrieks. This is one that can never be topped because it was done perfectly.

Previously:

The 50 Sexiest Albums You Must Own (31-20)

Scanner Survey: Are You Actually Working?

Emily Farris — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 18:36:00 GMT

Raise your hand if you're actually working at this point. Or if you're at work and not working. Or are we just typing away into the ether?

The A-Rod, Madonna, Lenny Kravitz Clusterf*ck

Emily Farris — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 18:06:00 GMT

We've been avoiding the news that Madonna's marriage to Guy Ritchie may be falling apart and that she may or may not be turning to Yankee's player Alex Rodriguez for sexual healing because, frankly, we don't care all that much. But then they had to go and bring Lenny Kravitz into the mix.

Now it seems that A-Rod's wife is dating Lenny Kravitz, who supposedly dated Madonna when he contributed to 1990's "Justify My Love."

Got it straight?

Okay, to recap (please assume that all of these "facts" have an "apparently" or "supposedly" in front of them):

Madonna and Guy Ritchie are headed towards splitsville.

Madonna has been sneaking around with Alex Rodriguez.

Alex Rodriguez's wife has been spending "cozy time" in Paris with Lenny Kravitz, who used to date Madonna.

Whew.

[Us: Report: Alex Rodriguez's Wife Seeing Lenny Kravitz, Madonna's Ex]

Related:

Hot or Not: Madonna's Hard Candy?

Who Would You Rather: Chrissie Hynde vs. Madonna?

Madonna's Sexlife Threatened By Keebler Elves

Lenny Kravitz Corroborates Adriana Lima's Claim to Virginity?

Video of the Day: What's German For Blow Job?

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 17:59:00 GMT

Ryanair wants you know that they are offering oral sex in business class. Oh, and ten-euro flights "across the Atlantic," but who cares about that, right?

This classic press conference courtesy of Gadling.

How to Dress the Baby With Six Moms

Nicole Pasulka — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 17:25:00 GMT

Invited to a polygamist party, but don't know how to dress the kids?

The New York Times reports that the Yearning for Zion ranch, the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints sect in the news after Texas child services took hundreds of children living there into custody, has its own clothing line called FLDS Dress. Because who wouldn't want their kids sporting these snappy numbers?

But despite the complete lack of detail, accessory or appeal, turns out the clothes are pretty damn pricey. According to the Times "a basic dress sells for $48.07 and a nightgown costs $31.81."

Dude, that's more expensive than Baby Gap. Somebody needs to tell the LDS about Marshall's, cause they're getting taken. We get that fundamentalist attire may require a bit more fabric, but we've seen burlap look more flattering.

Pardon Me, But You Seem to Have Some Amy Winehouse In Your Teeth

Emily Farris — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 16:41:00 GMT

We like tattoos. We really do. In fact, we're getting a new one this evening. But since having braces in the eighth grade, we've been really self conscious about having stuff in our teeth, so these tooth tats are probably not for us. They're interesting and all, but do you really want Amy Winehouse in your mouth? Forever?

Luckily, if you do choose to get a mouthful of celebrities, they can be "easily be removed in five minutes in the dentist’s office with just a little grinding with a rubber wheel."

Sounds fucking delightful, but no thanks.

[ToothArtist]

See, Dad? Having Tattoos Does Not Make Me a Drunk Slut.

Good Thing There is Absolutely Nothing Stupid About Unicorns

Star Wars Tattoos... and Shame

Teenage Scanner Loves Teenage LiveJournal Drawings

Village Voice/Naked City's Top Ten Sex Tattoos

Another Reason to Get Nerds Naked: Science Tattoos

This Week in Gayness: Virginia Accidentally Marries Gay Men

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 16:10:00 GMT

Many members of the transgender community are upset about the whole "pregnant man" thing. They seem to be almost equally upset with Thomas Beatie, who is due for a C section today, and the media for its giggling and dumbassed portrayal of him.

Hugh Hefner likes boys. Or at least guys. On occasion.

Straight marriage champions Larry Craig and David Vitter have decided that they, among men, are the ones to save the world's most successful institution.

Remember how we told you about the hilarious anti-gay vote in Arizona and how it fell one vote shy? Yeah, you knew Republicans were going to ram it home eventually. After one of the longest sessions in the state's record books, the Senate shoved an anti-gay marriage question onto the election ballot.

Backers of California's own attempt to block gay marriages, known as Proposition 8, have raised $2.3 million, which is a full one million more than the amendment's opponents.

A couple in Virginia, who somehow got married even though they are both men, will luckily not face criminal charges for thinking all men are created equal. The best part of all: one of the men has the last name of McCain.

Antonio E. Blount, 31, and Justin L. McCain, 18, faced misdemeanor false information charges, punishable by a fine up to $250.

Authorities said the couple applied for a license in Newport News Circuit Court in March and passed off McCain as "Justine." Officials realized later that McCain was actually born a man in North Carolina.

Hooray for McCain's Gay Marriage!

Previously:

This Week in Gayness: Gay Men Overdoing It?

Summer Camp is So Gay!

Emily Farris — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 15:33:00 GMT

As many of you know, we're a little obsessed with summer camp. In fact, we're taking off shortly to run the journalism department at a camp in New Hampshire for six weeks. So it's no surprise that we spend a decent portion of our lonely evenings Googling "camp."

And what did we find on this latest excursion? Camp Camp, a summer camp for LGBT adults.

We're of the belief that every adult should go back to summer camp, at least once. And if you're still afraid that you'll get teased for being a "gaywad" by the camp fire check out Camp Camp.

While many of the daily activities are reminiscent of the summer camp of yore (save massage), evening activities include "Gay Gaymes" and a pajama party. So, really, it's like summer camp with gay sex? Though just to be clear, it's not a sex camp:

While we certainly like to think of Camp as being sex-positive – our infirmary has condoms and dental dams available 24/7 – we are definitely NOT sex-focused. …C’mon – it’s a bunch of gay men and women running around together in the woods for a week, so we won’t lie to you and tell you the only activities happening are those found on the Activities Schedule. (There is a 24-hour hot tub, after all…!)

Can we go even if we're not gay? Because that sounds like fun and we'll be 'round those parts this summer, anyway.

[CampCamp.com]

Related:

Scanner Highs and Lows: We Got Finger Banged at Summer Camp

Open Thread: What's The Dirtiest Thing You Ever Did at Summer Camp?

Video(s) of the Day: "Barbarian Movie"

"Wet, Hot, American Summer"... the Musical?

Michael Ian Black Recounts His Own Wet Hot American Summer

Top 10 Childish Things We Wish We Could Get Away With as Adults

Man Sells His Soul To Hell (Pizza)

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 14:59:00 GMT

We're not making this up (although CNN and the AP might be): a man named (Sir?) Walter Scott of Wellington, New Zealand, has sold his soul for $3,800... to a pizza place... named "Hell Pizza."

We hope Walter was joking when he shrugged off the country's collective moral outrage and noted in the auction listing

"I can't see it, touch it or feel it, but I can sell it, so I'm going to palm it off to the highest bidder."

After the sellouts at TradeMe (some sort of e-bay ripoff in Kiwiland) pulled the auction, the owners of the local Hell Pizza stepped in like Robert De Niro in "Angel Heart."

"The soul belongs to Hell, there is simply no better place for it," Allison told The Associated Press. "He was pretty delighted."
O'Donnell had said on Wednesday that Scott's auction complied with TradeMe's rules because a physical object -- the deed of ownership -- would change hands.
Allison said she would fly to Scott's home town of Wanganui on North Island Friday "to pick up the soul -- or at least the deed of ownership."

A kid tried this once on ebay, but it was pulled for the same reason-- the soul was not considered tangible by the site's management. (Back in '05, the Billionaires For Bush auctioned off social security to the highest Wall Street bidder for almost one billion dollars, but unfortunately that program remains in the hands of the unwashed masses.)

Via CNN.

Billionaire Pervert Turns Himself In To Face Jail, Butt Sex

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 14:25:00 GMT

Jeffrey Epstein, convicted of soliciting underage girls for sex in his Florida pleasure palace, started his 18 month jail sentence this week. A look at what brought down one of the country's richest men, who owns Manhattan's largest town house, and who, until Monday, was holed up at a tropical paradise known as Xanadu.

It is a stunning downfall for Mr. Epstein, who grew up in Coney Island and went on to live the life of a billionaire, only to become a tabloid monument to an age of hyperwealth. Mr. Epstein owns a Boeing 727 and the largest town house in Manhattan. He has paid for college educations for personal employees and students from Rwanda, and spent millions on a project to develop a thinking and feeling computer and on music intended to alleviate depression.

His crime? This friend of President Clinton's liked massages with happy endings. The happy endings were, of course, provided by teenage girls. (He paid the fourteen-year-old who ended up turning him in a sum of $200 for her services.)

Using his big connections (Ken Starr and Alan Dershowitz were both on his team), Epstein at first seemed to avoid jail time. But an attorney for the government's office in Miami wasn't having it, insisting that Epstein not buy his way out of jail like so many of the rich can do.

Now, Epstein's e-mail autoresponse says he's "on vacation." The future registered sex offender will, in a year and a half, return to Xanadu, where a new estate is being built for him.

The villa will occupy the island’s promontory, which offers views of the Atlantic on one side and the Caribbean on the other. It will have a separate library to house Mr. Epstein’s 90,000 volumes, a Japanese bathhouse and what he calls a “Ziegfeld” movie theater.
For now, however, those visions of a private paradise have been replaced by the cold reality of a jail cell.

Via the New York Times.

Obama, Soccer Dork, May Be Involved In Mortgage Scandal

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 13:51:00 GMT

There's a boatload of media coverage this morning on Barack Obama's daughter's soccer game in Chicago. Bo-ring! and yet, at the same time, kind of makes him look human instead of like a robot created by Kodos and Kang.

Meanwhile, the Washington Post and other papers have been circling the story of Obama's discount mortgage loan, a deal which many people think could become a major scandal...

The LA Times, via the WaPo, breaks it down for us commonfolk:

"The freshman Democratic senator received a discount. He locked in an interest rate of 5.625 percent on the 30-year fixed-rate mortgage, below the average for such loans at the time in Chicago. The loan was unusually large, known in banker lingo as a 'super super jumbo.' Obama paid no origination fee or discount points, as some consumers do to reduce their interest rates. Compared with average terms offered at the time in Chicago, Obama's rate could have saved him more than $300 per month."

Sources inside the bank say the loan was entirely proper and Andrew Sullivan, conservative blogger and Obama supporter, has noted that unless the Washington Post somehow obtained Obama's FICO score (which is not mentioned in any news story), it must be assumed that it was good enough to qualify him for the discount. After all, he says

I would think that the Obamas were exceptionally creditworthy.

Via the Washington Post, via the LA Times.

Chinese Student Understands That Charity Starts With a Little Titty Flash

Nicole Pasulka — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 04:16:00 GMT

Adorable Chinese 19-year-old Xiao Yun has come up with a brillant way to both overexpose herself on the Internet and help Sichuan earthquake relief efforts. So, what's her master plan?

Putting racy pics on her website with a pledge that the more you give the more she'll take off. In her words:

"It's encouraging to see people donating to help - I will release more photographs of myself to encourage more people to donate."

But not everyone is thrilled with her charity. According to Fleshbot, police in Thailand have been monitoring Xiao's posts to make sure that none of them leak onto the Internet in Thailand where pictures of girls stripping for natural disaster relief (or any other reason) are not permitted.

Thai police are monitoring the site...or waiting on pins and needles? Wonder if they've donated any money yet...

Sloppy Seconds: Who Is Brit Dating Now?

Emily Farris — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 21:23:00 GMT

Now, this is just starting to get a little sad. Is there anyone from the original cast of Beverly Hills 90210 who's not returning? [Us]

Hey remember when Tatum O'Neal was caught trying to buy drugs and then claimed she was doing research for a part? She has pleaded guilty in court. Way to step up, Tates. [Yahoo!]

Women like porn, too. But, yeah, it's complicated. [Jezebel]

Happy Birthday, Lindsay Lohan. Sorry your dad is being such a dick. [Jossip]

Angelina Jolie is still pregnant with those twins. [FameCrawler]

It looks like Britney Spears is back together with her paparazzi boyfriend, Adnan Ghalib. Yeah, that's exactly what she needs right now. [MollyGood]

Related:

Lindsay Lohan: Lies My Father Told Me

Sloppy Seconds: Is Brenda Back on 90210, Too?

Why Don't Famous People Just Have Their Drugs Delivered?

Adnan Tries Unsucessfully to Visit Brit in the Looney Bin

Adnan Ghalib's Two Million Dollar Deal to Screw Britney?

Bone Your Way to Better Health

Kelly Deerson — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 20:51:00 GMT

A study published in this month's American Journal of Medicine is reporting that dudes who frequently get their rocks off are less likely to have erectile dysfunction problems in the future.

Researchers at the Tampere University Hospital in Finland analyzed nearly 1,000 men during a five year period, and found that those who had sex less than once a week had twice the incidence of Limp Dick Syndrome than their counterparts who were getting busy once a week. If the dudes had sex more than that, their risk went down even further.

In addition, the researchers in this study found that the participants' incidence of morning wood was a good predictor for the development of erectile dysfunction. Those who woke up hard less than once a week had an "approximate 2.5-fold risk" compared to the guys who had morning erections 2-3 times per week.

So, to all our male readers, don't be ashamed of that tent you're making in the morning. It's a just sign of more good things to come.

via EurekAlert [image]

Mark Zuckerberg to China: Let My People Poke!

Emily Farris — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 20:09:00 GMT

Social networking behemoth Facebook launched a Chinese-language version last month, and already some of the site's approximately 250,000 users are having problems exercising their right to poke.

While nobody really knows exactly where the problems lie (we're not sure if poking is really the issues), censorship was expected to be an issue when Facebook founder Mark Zuckerbeg decided to launch the site, and will certainly become more of an issue when the international community (and by "international community" we mean international Facebook community) descends upon China for the Olympics next month.

Someone should start pitching around a book proposal for censored Facebook updates from the Olympics.

[Radar: Chinese Facebook Users Can't Get Their Poke On]

Teenagers Can't Even Go Swimming Without Facebook Anymore

How Facebook Proved Mom Right

Top 10 Things We Didn't Need to Waste Time Doing This Year But Did Anyway (File Under: Facebook)

Hooters, Like Cockroaches, Will Survive the Apocalypse... And The Olympics

"Lust, Caution" to Blame for New Chinese Film Restrictions?

The 50 Sexiest Albums You Must Own (30-21)

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 19:33:00 GMT

Our list continues with part three, #30 to #21, featuring the usual videos and full song clips. Today, Rilo Kiley, picture above, are among the chosen few...

As always, we're taking suggestions...

The Sexiest Albums You Must Own (40-31)

The Sexiest Albums You Must Own (50-41)

30. The Genius of Ray Charles

Get it on vinyl. If ever someone spends the night that you want to stick around, play it for them in the morning. Works every time. (To achieve the opposite effect: Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" has worked for us.)

Don't Let The Sun Catch You Crying (Remastered Version) [Remastered Version]

29. Take Offs And Landings - Rilo Kiley

Bested by their latest release, which has sold infinitely more copies, this is nonetheless the sexiest album in their discography thanks to how Jenny Lewis' voice sounds here. (We'll give a hint: it sounds hot.) The rock goddess has never been more appetizing than on cuts like “Science vs. Romance,” where she subs in the word "sex" in place of "science."

28. Astral Weeks – Van Morrison

The title track is the most poetic song in rock, so majestic that critic Lester Bangs wrote rock's most memorable essay about it. Check out the song about a guy named “Madame George,” just for the hell of it. Choice lyric: “Would you find me/and would you kiss-a my eyes/and lay me down/in silence, easy/to be born again?”

Read the Lester Bangs essay, then buy this album

27. Eighteen Greatest Hits – Smokey Robinson & The Miracles

Sarah Vowell once wrote that seeing Smokey Robinson in concert was a major turn on. You'll find anything and everything here, straight from the man who wrote “My Girl” and almost half of all the great Motown tunes.

26. In The Wee Small Hours of the Morning – Frank Sinatra

Never has a megastar come off as more vulnerable without being a shaved-head Britney Spears. Are you a ladies man and want to get in touch with your real, much more sensitive side? Get it.

25. Grace – Jeff Buckley

A guy even a straight dude could fall in love with, Jeff Buckley released only one album in his lifetime-- and damn it if it wasn't all that he needed to remain immortal. Grace features heartbreakers like Nina Simone's “Lilac Wine” and Leonard Cohen's “Hallelujah” (the definitive version), but it's an original song, written en route to its recording, that keeps us coming back: the epic slow jam “Lover, You Should've Come Over.” “Because it's not too late.”

Jeff Buckley performs in Chicago, not long before his tragic death at the age of 30.

24. Orange – The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion

Another one of their albums features the line “baby, baby, you sure like to fuck!” shouted repeatedly, but somehow this one turns us on more. There's something about that cocksure swagger, rollercoaster drumming, and dirty guitar work that landed this on our “Get Motivated” iTunes playlist.

23. Let's Dance – David Bowie

This was the most successful, surprising, and diehard-confounding album of the glam pioneer's career. Featuring a slew of great 80's dance night staples (including, of course, “Let's Dance”), the album boasts many of Bowie's sexiest vocals, particularly on “Modern Love” and the Iggy Pop collaboration “China Girl,” which contain lyrics yelled, growled, and moaned. If you're still reading this list and are bored by the idea of that or anything else you've read so far, we hear the monasteries and nunneries are hiring...

22. Small Change – Tom Waits

Possibly the best line-by-line set of lyrics in human history outside of the recordings of Bob Dylan. And the sexy? We only need to mention one thing: the cover features Waits in a stripper's dressing room... with the stripper, played by none other than the future Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.

Pasties And A G-String (At The Two O'Clock Club) (LP Version) [LP Version]

21. Songs in the Key of Life – Stevie Wonder

If your love is in need of love today, you can't go wrong with this one from the Young Master. There are so many classics on these two CDs, you'll swear you put on his Greatest Hits album.

We're more than halfway-- tomorrow will feature the 20-11 portion of our list... until then, feel free to post suggestions in the comments section...

Previously:

The Sexiest Albums You Must Own (40-31)

The Sexiest Albums You Must Own (50-41)

Turns Out 'Shrooms Are Good for More Than Just "Getting" 2001 - A Space Odyssey

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 19:28:00 GMT

According to science, magic mushrooms can benefit your outlook and well-being. A study of 36 men and women who ate mushrooms in a lab and then hung out for 8 hours revealed that:

Fourteen months after taking the drug, 64 percent of the volunteers said they still felt at least a moderate increase in well-being or life satisfaction, in terms of things like feeling more creative, self-confident, flexible and optimistic. And 61 percent reported at least a moderate behavior change in what they considered positive ways.

One participant who sounds suspiciously like our college roommate reported:

"It was ... like taking off, I'm being lifted up," she said. Then came "brilliant colors and beautiful patterns, just stunningly gorgeous, more intense than normal reality."

And then, the sensation that her heart was tearing open.

"It would come in waves," she recalled. "I found myself doing Lamaze-type breathing as the pain came on."

Yet "it was a joyful, ecstatic thing at the same time, like the joy of being alive," she said. She compared it to birthing pains. "There was this sense of relief and joy and ecstasy when my heart was opened."

This confirms what we've always suspected: scientists get the best shit. We're through giving that one-eyed guy who hangs out at the park our cash.

NY Times Videos Delve into the World of People Who Love to Talk About Their Relationships

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 19:02:00 GMT

The New York Times "Vows" videos make us thank God they've expanded their multimedia section to include videos on the tedious and intimate details of courtships between people we'd run screaming from in a dark alley.

Carrie really likes hammocks and Chris who, despite spending all his pre-Carrie life touring with bands, does not seem like much fun--oh, well, maybe it's because of that.

Meanwhile, Catholic Anna cannot believe that she ended up with fellow children's theater performer Alan who is--gasp!--not blond and not Catholic. He plays a mean Mother Goose, however, and readily cites Star Wars to clarify moments in his own life. Definitely a keeper.

Natalie is hell bent on documenting every single moment of her relationship with Russell on her video camera. The two met at Harvard where an article on why Senior girls should date Sophomore guys inspired Natalie to really start liking Russell. Ah the media's power of persuasion. We're off to get engaged to someone white, overly-educated and interminably dull so that we can make a video for you about our LOVE. Ain't it grand?!

Hilarious Sex Advice From Your Mom

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 18:31:00 GMT

Our Moms are pretty funny, too, but thankfully they don't get involved in our sex lives...

We can't embed the video, but it's worth linking to. Check it out, even if you don't have speakers-- besides the moaning, there's very little sound. Just remember that it's still visually NSFW.

Here are some screenshots to tide you over, in case you can't watch it now...

A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words

Kelly Deerson — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 17:59:00 GMT

We just came across this nifty little thing, which should've been created like five years ago, but is just now coming about. It's called an InfoCanvas, and we totally want one.

While it's basically just a picture that you hang on your wall, it's hooked up to a computer and little elements of it change when something of note happens in your world.

For instance, you could choose a lovely beach scene, right? Now, if your boyfriend emails you, the beach towel lying on the chair will turn red. If your stock portfolio is doing well, the bird in the picture will be flying high. If it was the year 2000 and you invested in a bunch of dot coms, though, that bird would be taking a nose dive right into the ocean. If the road you take to work on your morning commute is congested, there will be lots of stripes on that beach ball, but if everything's movin' smoothly, it'll be stripe-free. If the weather's expected to be gorgeous today, there will be a bright sun in the left corner. If it's supposed to be a little more gloomy tomorrow, there'll be a picture of a cloud in the right corner. Basically, this little bugger tells you like 20 different things about your day by just glancing at it. If you want more information, there's always the good ol' internet, but if you just want a quick update on your world, you've got your totally sweet InfoCanvas.

We are so glad we’re living in the future. You have no idea.

via GTResearchNews

Video of the Day: Inside the International Space Station

Emily Farris — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 17:24:00 GMT

This video looking at life inside the International Space Station was made well before the station's toilet broke in May and wee particularly enjoyed the dining scene at the end.

The two-and-a-half-minute video (set to “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” by the Tokens) shows the crew performing everyday tasks that look amazing in the weightlessness of space: shaving, getting ready for bed, throwing floating food, and putting the serious responsibility and danger of space exploration aside in favor of just having fun. It’s exhilarating, amusing, and more than a little bit awe-inspiring.

[YouTube via Yery Short List]

Related:

Somebody's Been Having a Bit Too Much Space Fiber

I Love Myself for Hating You: Outer Space

Sloppy Seconds: And You Thought You Wouldn't Live to See a Gay Space Wedding

A Walk in the Sexy Park

Emily Farris — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 16:50:00 GMT

We love parks. And we love sex. So we're super excited about Jeju Land, a sculpture park in Korea dedicated to sexual pleasure, which has 100 works on permanent display — many of which are after the jump. We'd say they're not safe for work, but if you get caught looking, just belittle your boss and accuse him of having no cultural appreciation.

[Next Thing via YBNBY]

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Lindsay Lohan: Lies My Father Told Me

Emily Farris — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 16:12:00 GMT

We've made fun of Lindsay Lohan in the past, but now we just feel sorry for her. Her family fucking sucks.

Not only is Lindsay's mom exploiting the family on reality TV, her dad — who has been in and out of jail and blabbed to the press once Lindsay finally found somebody to love — has proven himself to be an even bigger asshole than we could have possibly imagined.

Gawker somehow got their hands on a copy of a recent voicemail Michael Lohan left for Lindsay. In said voicemail we learn that Michael is a liar and that the timeline of his relationship with his daughter revolves around her movie roles.

Read the message after the jump.

Or listen to it here.

"I've been trying to reach you for a week now. I know that you were annoyed that I gave an interview and my need to comment about the people you are around, and obviously you took offense to it. Honey, I'm sorry. I am telling you, I just love you. And I promise you, I absolutely promise you, I will not mention your name in the press, at all, ever again.

One of the reasons why I got so concerned is because we used to talk all the time. We were always texting, and then the texting was sporadic. You weren't returning phonecalls, so I was concerned. Look, I love you honey. Please, please don't do this anymore. Pick up the phone and talk to me. Everything from now on is between you and me. And I promise you, I will not go back on it, I will not break my word...

I promise you, I'll keep questions out of the press, when it comes to you I promise. Just please, please, honey, call me or pick up the phone. You need to promise me.

Back when everything was going in the right direction, and so a lot of the same things happening and you end up very worried about it. (And the whole reason why), when how things were, (......) were together, when you were climbing, and Mean Girls and ever since Herbie, when I was out of your life, everything started to unwind—all these things didn't do well—and so on, so forth. And how people are blaming me because you're not getting roles or something? (End Of Message)

[Gawker: Papa Lohan's Voicemail Lies: 'Everything from now on is between you and me']

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