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• Alfie's DNA Test Results are In

  You remember this poor little bastard, Alfie Patten, the four-foot tall 13-year-old new dad. First came the news of the 13- and 15- year- old parents, then came allegations that the baby momma Chantelle had slept around with numerous other schoolboys. Alfie agreed to take a DNA test, once his mum explained to him what a DNA test was. We'd just been wondering ourselves what the results of the paternity test had been when this update hit the tabloids... Read More... Posted Mar 26 2009, 01:16 PM by Colleen Kane with | with no comments Filed under: UK, teen pregnancy, babies having babies, england, the sun, welfare, the dole, alfie pattman, chantelle steadman, maisie roxanne, dna test, paternity test

• UK Babies Have Baby

  It's all over the news today that two British kids, 13-year-old Alfie Pattman and 15-year-old Chantelle Steadman, have made a kid of their own, Maisie Roxanne. Wee Alfie is only four feet tall, his voice hasn't even changed yet, and he doesn't know what the word "financially" means. It gets more depressing-- won't you join us after the jump? Read More... Posted Feb 13 2009, 02:09 PM by Colleen Kane with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: UK, teen pregnancy, babies having babies, england, the sun, welfare, the dole, alfie pattman, chantelle steadman, maisie roxanne

• Crazy Baby Lady Skips Welfare, Goes Straight to TV

  We'd be bragging about calling this one last week, but you'd have to be an idiot not to think the mother of octuplets (plus another six) wasn't going to seek media deals to keep those kiddies fed. At first we thought she'd go for her own show on TLC, but apparently she knows she has blown Jon and Kate Plus 8 out of the water and is going straight to the media major leagues. Read More... Posted Feb 02 2009, 03:09 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: babies, cats, embryos, bankruptcy, Diane Sawyer, Oprah, crazy cat lady, welfare, TLC, reality show, woman who had eight babies, eight babies, woman who had octuplets, crazy baby lady, in vitro, multiple births, octuplets, in vitro fertilization, nadya suleman, jon and kate plus 8, jon and kate plus eight, john and kate plus eight

• Ex-Prostitutes In South Korea Have A Bone To Pick With Us

  Kim Ae-ran is a fifty-eight-year-old former prostitute living in South Korea. She's been reading in the news about how her country is seeking apologies and other reparations from the government of Japan and it's been pissing her off. Not because she disagrees-- she just thinks the U.S. government's involvement in her country's underworld should be addressed as well. “Our government was one big pimp for the U.S. military,” she says, and that's just the beginning... Read More... Posted Jan 08 2009, 09:40 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: prostitution, military, money, south korea, old people, america, government, north korea, prostitute, welfare, senior citizens, apology

• Even Sex Fairs Are Weirder In China

  Over the past few days, China held one of its "wildest" sex fairs, the Guangzhou Sex Culture Festival highlighted cultural artifacts like "condoms" and "sex toys" to the bafflement of many attendees... Read More... Posted Nov 11 2008, 11:08 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: sex toys, condoms, sex festival, China, children, poor people, weird, premarital sex, communism, promiscuity, sex show, sex acts, welfare, chinese, eugenics

• While You Were Sleeping: The Porn Collage

  Is eugenics still being practiced in Louisiana? A politician there wants to give women $1,000 to tie their tubes in order to reduce the welfare rolls. Although Shia LaBeouf's license is going to be suspended, he won't be charged with a DUI in his recent car crash. Which American celebrity is Damien Hirst's latest, humiliated subject? Read More... Posted Sep 26 2008, 09:08 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: sarah michelle gellar, paris hilton, porn, sex tape, police, HBO, pregnancy, planned parenthood, bankruptcy, painting, louisiana, damien hirst, art porn, cop, shia labeouf, dui, car accident, sarah palin, welfare, politician