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• Chimps Will Put Out for a Piece of Meat, And So Will We

  JUST IN CASE YOU MISSED THIS STORY WHEN SCANNER COLLEEN DID IT A WEEK AGO (BECAUSE SCANNER EMILY DID—FLUCK!) And by piece of meat we don't mean that beefcake from the elliptical machine—or the nearest tree if we're talking about chimps. No we mean delicious, bloody, iron-filled, gets-stuck-in-your-teeth meat. Read More... Posted Apr 14 2009, 01:09 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: food we'd like to f*ck, science, sex, studies, eating, blood, steak, meat, food we'd like to fuck, hamburgers, iron, chimpanzees, chimps, anthropology

• 14-Year-Old Girl Sold Into Marital And Sexual Slavery For $16 Grand

  If you had to name the Hick Capitol of the United States, where would you pinpoint its location? Alabama? Texas? Tennessee? Wrong. After reading this story on Greenfield, California, you'll agree that this town probably leads in local yokels... Read More... Posted Jan 13 2009, 10:50 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: marriage, beer, money, slavery, teenage girls, steak, sexual abuse, statuatory rape, teenage boys, california, tennesee

• How I Spent My Stimulus (dot com)

  If you're not a blogger, you probably got (or are getting) an economic stimulus check from the government. Must be nice. Melba, here, is putting hers into the bank, she believes no good can come from spending it. She's probably right. Read More... Posted May 15 2008, 11:43 AM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: the economy, money, wine, steak, the government, economic stimulus

• Have a steak and blow job today. No, really. We insist.

  Wow, Scanner readers. Earlier we asked if you knew what was celebrated today in addition to Albert Einstein's Birthday and Pi Day, and at least a few of you know what's up. We have to say we're a little shocked and disappointed that only a few people chimed in. We expected more from you, men of Scanner. Read More... Posted Mar 14 2008, 03:43 PM by Emily Farris with | with 9 comment(s) Filed under: holidays, valentine's day, blow jobs, steak and bj day, steak and blow job day, steak