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• Who Will be Named America's Hottest Rocker Mom?

  They're moms, and they rock. To promote IFC's show Z Rock, about a kids' band by day/ rock band by night, IFC is holding the America's Hottest Rocker Mom contest. Entrants, like Claudia, above, describe their favorite bands, concert moments, and rock crushes, and make their case for why they should win. Says Claudia, "Because my son's classmates check me out and my son gets a kick out of it. I'm hot like that!" Winner gets bragging rights and $5K, and there's only one more day to submit photos for consideration, so hop to it, rocker moms. Here's some of the competition that rocker judge Sebastian Bach will look over... Read More... Posted May 13 2009, 09:34 AM by Colleen Kane with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: rock and roll, bon jovi, milf, moms, contest, mom, IFC, sebastian bach, americas hottest rocker mom, z rock

• Keith Richards Shows Us His Other Appendage... No, Not the Guitar, Silly...

  Last night, we attended the opening reception of the Not Fade Away Gallery in New York City, which is first hosting a treasure trove of unreleased photos of the Stones and Beatles in their early days. Uncensored behind-the-scenes photos of Ringo acting the fool, Brian Jones getting wasted on margaritas, and other general merriment dotted the gallery. We spent a good hour there just waiting for promised special guest Keith Richards to arrive, but eventually gave up. Before we took off, we loaded up on Blue Point beer and snuck several unauthorized photos of the photos, including this one of Keith Richards peeing in what appears to be an outdoor sink... Read More... Posted Mar 05 2009, 05:40 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: rock and roll, music, penis, photographs, albums, songs, penises, keith richards, rolling stones, mick jagger, photography, phallic, rock star, photographers, sfw, beatles, censored

• Bearded Men On Craig's List: Or, How We'll Get Scanner Emily To Move Back To NYC

  We're recovering from public nudity burnout after this morning's news and for some idiotic reason, decided that a sane refuge would be the Craig's List Missed Connection section. Based on what we've come across in the w4m section, a mysterious brand of man has taken over the city of New Amsterdam... Read More... Posted Feb 24 2009, 02:42 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: dating, rock and roll, warren zevon, music, missed connection, New York City, craigslist, scanner emily, bearded men, jim james, my morning jacket, relationship, bearded man of the week, beards are sexy, bearded men with bellies, beard vs. beard

• Crush of the Week: Carrie Brownstein

  Carrie Brownstein, let me count the ways: hot, lesbian, in a sexy lesbian hard rock band (currently on hiatus), blogger, indie, participates in hilarious podcasts for NPR's All Songs Considered, hot, hot, hot. (The fact that she dates women in no way affects our adoration one way or another. We just wanted to mention it as a way of explaining why we don't just shut up about her and use our connections to land a date.) If you still consider her to be "in" rock and roll, then perhaps you'll peruse these photos and agree she's one of the sexiest brunettes in rock and roll. Read More... Posted Feb 19 2009, 06:17 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: lesbian, crush of the week, rock and roll, music, indie rock, npr, album covers, the nineties, portland, sexy people, indie bands, cds, sleater kinney, carrie brownstein

• BBC Wants You to Know You'll All Get Sex Cancers

  Sex cancers are going to get you! Sex cancers are going to get you! Can you tell it's a slow news day all over the world, especially at the BBC? Read More... Posted Feb 05 2009, 11:27 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: rock and roll, stds, sex, texas, great britain, sexually transmitted diseases, cancer, BBC, HPV, the 60s, hippie rock, sex cancer

• Top 10 Bands That Twitter

  Celebrities are becoming addicted to this horrible twat service, Twitter. If Britney Spears (allegedly) breaks her Salinger-like silence by using the free website to communicate with humans (ex-husband K-Fed doesn't count, seeing how he is a zombie), then is there nowhere for Twitter to go?  Read More... Posted Feb 04 2009, 05:51 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: britney spears, rock and roll, music, kevin federline, drinking, celebrities, r.e.m., tom waits, willie nelson, rilo kiley, twitter, j.d. salinger, legos, pearl jam, guns 'n roses, jack white, ryan adams, dave matthews, bands, singers, beastie boys, tweeting, twat, death metal

• Today is the Day the Music Died

  On February 3, 1959, a small chartered airplane carrying rock 'n roll singers and virtual superstars Buddy Holly, Richie Valens, and the Big Bopper (alias of J.P. Richardson) crashed in an Iowa field, killing them instantly. While everyone knows this story, recounted in the famous tribute "American Pie," a #1 single by Don McLean, the so-called "Day the Music Died" is most interesting for all the many strange and unusual turn of events that led Holly, Valens, and Richardson to fly that plane... Read More... Posted Feb 03 2009, 09:49 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: rock and roll, airplane, music, dead people, death, concerts, winter, money, albums, minnesota, country music, money changes everything, iowa, rock star, dead, 1950s, weather, buddy holly, waylon jennings

• Top 10 Cover Songs of All-Time

  A while ago, someone pointed out to us that every list of the best cover songs of all-time includes cuts like "Knockin' On Heaven's Door" by Guns 'N Roses or hits by-- gulp-- Cher. Hopefully, this will be at least a step in the right direction... Read More... Posted Jan 26 2009, 05:10 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 11 comment(s) Filed under: rock and roll, music, lists, top 10 lists, youtube, songs, album covers, the 60s, guns 'n roses, the sixties, woodstock, hiphop, nina simone

• Delusional Washed Up Rock Star, "The Crabs Won"

  Steven Tyler is 60 and his band,  who should have had the decency to break up or go down in a private jet by the late 80s, is 39-years-old. He did an interview with February's Elle Magazine where he openly talks about sex. But when his words of advice to all men are, "Lie till you die," should we believe any of the old man's stories? Here are some of the highlights from the interview... Read More... Posted Jan 15 2009, 03:39 PM by Scanner Matt with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: viagra, rock and roll, music, sweet emotion, 70s rock, steakven tyler aerosmith, old horny men, steve tyler brawl, old dirty men, joe perry, aerosmith sucks

• Tickle Me Emo: Male Rocker RealDoll

  You are likely already familiar with RealDoll, the disturbingly lifelike sex dolls, pictured above. But now pretend boyfriends come in RealDoll format-- even pretend rock 'n' roll boyfriends. Read More... Posted Jan 14 2009, 12:27 PM by Colleen Kane with | with 7 comment(s) Filed under: rock and roll, sex dolls, rock of love, realdoll, sex doll, emo

• C-Love in HEEB's Wasted Issue

  I retired the patent-leather Doc Martens long ago, but will always have a special place in my heart for Courtney Love. I've attempted to read her rambling, incoherent MySpace blog posts lately, to no avail, so I approached HEEB's new cover interview with Courtney by Karen Bookatz wondering if she has anything left to say that will make sense to the rest of us.  Turns out, she does. About one passage in the interview, actually. (I do not envy whomever had to transcribe those monologues.) Read More... Posted Jan 13 2009, 04:11 PM by Colleen Kane with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: courtney love, rock and roll, doc martens, interviews, 1990s, sleater-kinney, HEEB, grrl power, HEEB magazine, c-love, riot grrl

• Not All Swedes Are Hot

  You might not want to believe it, but evidence has just emerged indicating that Sweden did have some fuggs in the 1970s. As punishment for their genetic failure, these outcasts were put in dance bands and forced to dress alike in Technicolor Spandex versions of high-school band uniforms.  Let's take a look at some more! Read More... Posted Jan 13 2009, 11:20 AM by Colleen Kane with | with 6 comment(s) Filed under: fashion, rock and roll, sweden, internets, swedish, lol, omg, spandex, 1970s, dance bands, old photos, supergroup, please let this be real, this is what the internet is for, polyester

• This Week In Gayness: Straight Man Sues Over Homophobic Taunting

  Caroline Kennedy, who seems to be losing steam in her quest for the Senate, supports gay marriage.  There has been a 16% rise in violence against gays and lesbians this year, while 2007 had already seen a 16% rise over '06, according to the author of this story about a woman gang-raped in San Francisco for having a rainbow sticker on her car.  Strollerderby reported on the principal who censored a student's pro-gay rights paper... Read More... Posted Dec 23 2008, 09:44 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: new york, rock and roll, music, gay marriage, violence, senate, england, strollerderby, homophobia, arizona, sexual harassment, gay marriage ban, queen, gay activism, year in review, caroline kennedy

• "No Brown M&M's": At Last, The Truth...

  We always scoffed at references to and jokes involving the infamous story of Van Halen and "the brown M&Ms." If friends say, "No brown M&Ms, please," we always rolled our eyes. "Oh man, that's the oldest joke in the books," we'd mutter. "And it isn't even true." Turns out, the Smoking Gun has proof that the request for "No brown M&Ms" backstage was indeed real... and that the rest of the rock band's 53-page concert rider from 1982 turns out to be just as obnoxious... Read More... Posted Dec 15 2008, 09:42 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: rock and roll, music, concerts, bands, m & m, the eighties, high maintenance, the smoking gun, van halen

• Scanner Giveaway: Signed Elton John DVDs!

  We're dead serious. The man who played piano while wearing those giant sunglasses. The dude who told Lilly Allen he could snort her under the table. One of the baddest mofos of all time, or at least 1973, Elton John, has agreed to autograph copies of his new DVD documentary "Tantrums and Tiaras," which features behind-the-scenes craziness and excesses not seen since the Rolling Stones were still allowed within our borders. Like we said-- despite all this kidding around-- we're serious. We're going to give you autographed Elton John DVDs... all you have to do is... Read More... Posted Nov 25 2008, 02:52 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: movies, rock and roll, music, gay marriage, john lennon, elton john, lilly allen, aids, documentaries, rolling stones, dvds, scanner giveaway, the 70s, cd, autographs

• The Greatest Dive Bars: Mars Bar

  Every time we've been to Mars Bar we've seen a fistight, an ejection, and vomit. If that doesn't qualify this New York City establishment for Dive Bar status, nothing ever will... Read More... Posted Nov 21 2008, 01:01 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: new york, rock and roll, music, New York City, funny, dive bars, greatest dives, vomit, mars, review, punk

• Prince Has Something He'd Like to Talk to You About

  We are bursting with the news that Prince has been knocking on his neighbors' doors to spread a message near and dear to his little purple heart. What could possibly be so important that Prince would put down his guitar and talk to strangers? Read More... Posted Nov 17 2008, 01:07 PM by Nicole Pasulka with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: religion, prince, rock and roll, music, sales, religious wackos, religious fanatics, jehovah witness

• While You Were Sleeping: Bailon To Do Playboy For 100G's?

  The newest star on Obama's shortlist for a cabinet post: Hillary Clinton, with Secretary of State the likely job. Meanwhile, Obama will resign his Senate seat early (this Sunday) instead of waiting for the Constitution to push him out. Nebraska is in chaos, with all sorts of parents trying to drop off their rebellious teens under the Safe Haven Law. Finally, a talk show host who might actually be funny... Read More... Posted Nov 14 2008, 09:10 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: hillary clinton, rock and roll, music, john mayer, playboy, Barack Obama, teenagers, senate, singapore, money, nudists, country music, surgery, publicity stunts, oregon, nebraska, taylor swift, adrienne bailon, rod stewart, zoo

• The Saddest And Most Hopeful Story in Rock & Roll

  We've wanted to tell you this story involving the Go-Betweens for a long time now, but never felt it had the ending it deserved. The tale of this Australian band is one of the saddest in all of rock... and now, deservedly, one with a potential happy ending... Read More... Posted Nov 13 2008, 09:55 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: rock and roll, music, U2, Bono, death, Friends, heart attack, australia, famous people, sad news, songs, happy ending

• Led Zeppelin May Have A New Singer... And It's Amazin'...

  ...if it's true, of course. In the months since their first show in decades, Led Zeppelin has been the subject of dozens of rumors about billion-dollar tours, new lead singers, new albums, and in-fighting among its original members. Now all that appears to have been brushed aside and the band is about to unveil its actual new singer, which is great news for the music business... Read More... Posted Oct 27 2008, 01:23 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: rock and roll, music, Led Zeppelin, robert plant, concerts, the seventies, money, aerosmith, steven tyler, guns 'n roses, velvet revolver, axl rose, rock stars, singers, scott weiland

• Groupie Shocked To Find Out Pop Music Douche Used Her For Her Body

  An eighteen-year-old girl somehow managed to get backstage at a major pop music concert, apparently without knowing anything about what groupies are and what purpose they serve for selfish, misogynist, and decadent music stars. She apparently didn't know that the scenes backstage often involve drugs or sex... usually both and at the same time, if possible... Read More... Posted Oct 27 2008, 11:07 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: rock and roll, music, drugs, cocaine, australia, teenage girls, groupies, rock star, almost famous

• Looks Like Rock Music Does Cause Violence

  Don't believe us? Watch this awesome animation of iconic album covers brutalizing each other with guns, knives, lasers, even Chinese Stars. It's like a blood explosion in your dad's record collection. Billy Joel started it, but who will be the last album standing? Posted Oct 10 2008, 11:20 AM by Nicole Pasulka with | with no comments Filed under: rock and roll, blood explosion, billy joel

• While You Were Sleeping: Mike Myers Is An Inglorious Bastard

  Is there any reason to shoot yourself in the arm? For one man, not getting laid is reason enough.  If you happen to spot a tour bus belonging to The Kills, please contact the Feds. And the verdict on the Apple iTunes store's fate... Read More... Posted Oct 03 2008, 09:08 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: new york, movies, rock and roll, music, babies, guns, brad pitt, sex, school, florida, apple, angelina joile, drunk driving, racism, itunes, mike myers, quentin tarantino, bus, inglorious bastards, madd

• Scanner Contest: Name The Celebrity Packages

  Ah, the timeless rainy day game... Guess The Penis has been around since the time of Macbeth or possibly McCain... today, we're going to see City Rag's "Moose Knuckle Safari" and raise them one more... Be the first to name the famous packages correctly (or name the most) by Monday, 10/6 at 9am and you'll win... Read More... Posted Oct 02 2008, 02:15 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: rock and roll, sports, packaging, penis, condoms, john McCain, celebrities, penises, golf course, actors, golf, rock star, shakespeare, package, visible penis line, lube, the pleasure chest

• Richard Wright Went To That Great Gig In The Sky (sorry for the obligatory obituary title)

  (What about: Richard Wright: Wish You Were Here... or Richard Wright Is Dead, Here Come The Wor-- no, too offensive.) Richard Wright, who made his final on stage appearance with the reunited, core Pink Floyd at Live 8 three years ago, and who wrote Us And Them and The Great Gig In The Sky for Dark Side of The Moon, succumbed to cancer today. Here he is playing Comfortably Numb and leaving the stage with the other members for the final time... Read More... Posted Sep 15 2008, 04:14 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: rock and roll, music, dead people, obituaries, death, concerts, england, the beatles, pink floyd, the 60s, the 70s, ringo starr, live 8

• I Hate Myself For Loving You: Ryan Adams

  Ryan Adams is an incredibly talented artist who has made at least three CDs worth every penny we paid for them. Unfortunately, despite this immense talent, he has very little concept of what makes a cohesive, flowing, tightly-packed album. Even those three great records (Gold, Cold Roses discs one and two, and even Heartbreaker) have so much filler that they are 45 minute masterpieces turned 75-minute wobbling opuses.  This inability to see his own limitations has carried over into Adams' personal life, giving Gawker and gossip rags a million stories to goof on him with. Someone this good looking, grungy, and totally "rock star" (often in the worst sense of the term) would attract this unwanted attention even if he wasn't accused of... Read More... Posted Sep 02 2008, 01:34 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: rock and roll, music, I Hate Myself for Loving You, indie rock, indie culture, rock star, ryan adams

• While You Were Sleeping: Anne Hathaway and the Cops

  Arnold Schwarzenneger took 200,000 people hostage today. It sounds like one of his terrible movies from 1980s but actually, it's part of an ongoing budget crisis in California. Blah. Headline of the Day: Alba Bans Honor From Acting. If you've ever seen Dark Angel, you will agree with us in saying she may have also banned Talent.  Who is Michelle Williams seeing now that the media won't pounce on her for it? Read More... Posted Jul 24 2008, 10:25 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: lesbian, daily show, jessica alba, rock and roll, MTV, michelle williams, arnold schwarzenegger, ex boyfriends, Breakup of the Week, anne hathaway, lewis black

• Video of the Day: Rush Plays Rush... In Rock Band

  We always thought Rock Band and Guitar Hero were the best video game ideas ever, not to mention long overdue, and then end up disappointed that one just ends up pushing buttons on a guitar-shaped controller — instead of a guitar with some strings on it that one could fake-play, sort of like air guitar but with strings, making the game about how well you mimic the song for real. (Does that make any sense?) This seems to be the same problem the band Rush has when they tried to play "Tom Sawyer" on Rock Band: they wanted to play the song as it's really played, not just push a couple of buttons... Read More... Posted Jul 24 2008, 09:37 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: video of the day, daily show, rock and roll, guitars, comedy central, video game, rock band, rock star, guitar hero

• 20 Hot Women of Rockabilly

  Kim Lenz, the redhead from Dallas, Texas... definitely on this list There's a great new YouTube video compilation making the rounds: 16 Hot Women of Rockabilly, which sounds ridiculous and maybe too narrow a cultural institution (what's next, the 14 Sexy Dudes of Krautrock?), but the video really woke us up on this dreary, muggy Monday... After the jump, we round out the video with four lovelies of our own...  Read More... Posted Jul 21 2008, 02:24 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: video of the day, rock and roll, music, lists, youtube, hot women, vintage, rock star, classic

• The 50 Sexiest Albums You Must Own (10-6)

  We're wrapping up our list with a two-part Top Ten, featuring, obviously, the Legendary Sam Cooke. We'll have a list of your favorties tomorrow, along with the Final Five... for now, here are another five sexy albums you must keep in the ol' disc changer... Catch up on the Top 50: 11-20, 21-30, 31-40, 41-50 Read More... Posted Jul 07 2008, 04:36 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: rock and roll, music, lists, mood music, top 50 sexiest albums, sam cooke