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• PA DA Threatening to Jail 11-Year-Olds For Sexting

  District Attorney George Skumanick Jr. Tunkhannock, Pennsylvania is in deep doo-doo after bullying and threatening the parents of a bunch of girls between the ages of 10 and 16 about their sexting problems. He threatened to imprison an eleven year old for something that isn't even a crime (wait'll you hear this) and is being sued by the ACLU on behalf of three furious families. Skumanick sat down with parents one day and showed them the lurid images and said that either the girls enter into a treatment program for their sexual problems or be forced to endure a trip to juvie hall, a trial, and possible jail time... Read More... Posted Apr 24 2009, 02:15 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: wtf, jail, scary, crime, law, prison, young girls, Pennsylvania, arrest, teenage girls, underage sex, lawsuit, bikini, aclu, trial, sexting

• While You Were Sleeping: Teacher Sex Never Gets Old

  The famous Calendar Girls are back... and sexier/older than ever, of course. Lindsay Lohan talked to saintly Ellen Degeneres about her breakup with Samantha Ronson. The verdict against The Pirate Bay has been thrown into question after the defense was able to tie the judge to "the copyright lobby." Read More... Posted Apr 24 2009, 10:51 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: lindsay lohan, prison, teacher student sex, shit, teacher sex, ellen degeneres, turd, calendar girls, sarah palin, true blood, evan rachel wood

• While You Were Sleeping: Teen Faces Prison For Having An Abortion

  A 27-year-old woman is upset that a 63-year-old man has threatened to post nude photos of her on the internet.  Mia Farrow plans to go on a hunger strike to raise awareness of the crisis in Darfur. This Wal-Mart employee may be the dumbest person alive: he stole a whole bunch of merchandise from the store, then Read More... Posted Apr 22 2009, 09:25 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: video, politics, thievery, college, genius, australia, abortion, children, prison, teenage girls, nude photos, while you were sleeping, supreme court, california, wal-mart, sfw, warrant, miss usa 2009, mia farrow, darfur, asthma

• German Pop Star Arrested for Spreading a Little HIV With Her Message

  A member of one of the most famous girl bands in Germany has been arrested on suspicion that she knowingly spread HIV to at least one man. Read More... Posted Apr 15 2009, 02:51 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: stds, aids, prison, German, sexually transmitted diseases, arrest, germany, HIV, public, s.t.d.s, public figures, crimes, dannity kane, no angels, night clubs, nightclubs, german aids help

• With Most Teachers Already In Jail, Principals Getting In On The Student Sex

  Yes, we're exaggerating a bit when we claim "most" teachers are in jail for sleeping with their students (or other underage kids.) But it's no great lie to say that it feels like at least twice a day now that we're hit with another rough set of allegations about teaching staff going hog wild in locker rooms, parked cars, or on classroom desks. Brookann Collier, a 32-year-old from Santa Maria, California, decided that she would be one of the few to get away with it... Read More... Posted Apr 13 2009, 03:10 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: lesbian, high school, jail, prison, teacher student sex, teacher sex, student teacher sex, principals, elementary school, lesbian sex, child molester, teacher scandal, teacher behaving badly

• While You Were Sleeping: Britney's In Prison

  If you're going to bribe a cop, it's wise to aim higher than $17. One of our strange/secret crushes, Chelsea Clinton, has gotten engaged.  Great, another reason for Nascar fans to hate Obama... Read More... Posted Apr 02 2009, 09:08 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: heidi montag, britney spears, obama, cops, pregnant, booze, engaged, Chelsea clinton, prison, joke, bjork, nascar, punk'd, kid rock, david cook, coldplay, kidney infections, trent reznor, april fool's day, natalie cole

• Spanking Judge Is Going To Have A Rough Ride in Prison...

  An Alabama gent named Herman Thomas, known in the national news as "The Spanking Judge," was finally charged on Friday with a whopping 57 counts, including extortion, sodomy, kidnapping, and a host of ethics violations. Several hours later, Thomas was out on bond and told to have no contact with young people. So... how did ex-Judge Herman Thomas get his nickname? Read More... Posted Mar 30 2009, 12:25 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: spank material, wtf, arrests, scary, spankings, S&M, prison, sexual assault, arrested, sodomy, rape, judge, sexual abuse, spanking, alabama, sex crimes, arrest warrant

• 14-Year-Old Girl Arrested For Possession of Child Pornography

  A fourteen-year-old New Jersey girl faces up to 17 years in prison and lifetime membership into the Sex Offenders registry after police found her to be in possession of child pornography, including some graphic, full-frontal nude photos. Of course, there's much more to the story than just that... Read More... Posted Mar 27 2009, 01:54 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: myspace, justice, child pornography, new jersey, prison, arrest, child porn, teenage girls, teenage boys, sext message, sexting, sex offense, sex offender

• This Week in Gayness: Aubrey O'Day May Be Gay

  Ha ha-- Ken Starr is now forced to argue "whether it's legal to divest rights from a group of people." In this case, straight, married Californians.  Married Massachusetts lesbians made national news this week when one, clearly intoxicated, attacked the other with a turkey baster allegedly containing the attacker's brother's "sperm," in an attempt to impregnate her by force. The religious wacko Obama appointed is meeting with Concerned Women for America and the Family Research Council-- guess who they're concerned about? Read More... Posted Mar 17 2009, 01:36 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: Bob Dylan, lesbian, gay marriage, Barack Obama, prom, MTV, military, prison, this week in gayness, st. patrick's day, out of the closet, parades, massachusetts, nigeria, ken starr, aubrey o'day, wacko

• Ex-Detroit Mayor Gets All Sexy With the Texts

  Here's one of our favorites from Detroit Mayor (excuse us, ex-Detroit Mayor and now ex-felon) Kwame Kilpatrick: 6/23/02 Kwame (11:16 p.m.): I wand you to talk to me while I do you. ------- I want you to focus on making me make you come! ERASE. We wand you to click hard on the Read more... for the rest of these golden sext messages... Read More... Posted Mar 16 2009, 10:54 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: michigan, prison, mayor, extramarital affairs, extra-marital affair, detroit, sexual harassment, cheaters, felon, felonies, sexting, text message, husband, kwame kilpatrick

• While You Were Sleeping: Jen and John Redux

  The Iraqi shoe thrower was sentenced to three years in prison. Come on, even if this happened in Texas while Bush was Governor, he probably wouldn't have received such a lengthy prison term. Radiohead to a vindictive Miley Cyrus: shut up and "grow up." This mama monkey in Thailand shows her incredibly cute lil' monkey offspring how to floss with human hair. And they say evolution is a myth. Read More... Posted Mar 13 2009, 09:08 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: john mayer, rihanna, george w bush, HBO, Iraq, texas, Radiohead, miley cyrus, Broadway, prison, howard stern, arrest, Ashley Dupre, ashley alexandra dupre, Breakup of the Week, jennifer aniston, monkey, breakup, ashley dupre naked, will ferrel, shoe thrower george bush, russell simmons, chris brown, cute animal photos, ashley alexandra dupre naked

• Sloppy Seconds: Chris Brown's Mystery Woman Revealed

  Hillary Clinton told everyone about falling in love with Bill Clinton. Of course, they only want to hear about how she fell out of love with Bill Clinton. By the way, where did Rielle Hunter get the name Frances Bean from? Young women mistakenly think men want potential female partners to drink them under the table... Read More... Posted Mar 10 2009, 05:58 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: hillary clinton, love, New York City, rihanna, sienna miller, Bill Clinton, keira knightley, congress, prison, russia, dylan thomas, las vegas, conservative, men and women, rielle hunter, sarah palin, magicians, drunk drivers, chris brown, whistleblower

• This Guy Thought It Was OK To Sign Stepdaughter To Sex Contract

  An Australian man has been sentenced to a mere eight years in prison for molesting his stepdaughter, who consented to be his love slave in a signed contract. The contract, which is totally illegal, of course, is just one of several bizarre twists in this agonizing, widely-publicized trial. For starters, her mother was well aware of the goings-on... Read More... Posted Mar 06 2009, 11:51 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: babies, pregnant, pregnancy, australia, prison, teenage girls, mother and child divided, diseases, sexual abuse, underage sex, sex crimes, trial, pics, mother and daughter, child molester, court cases, stepfather

• While You Were Sleeping: Sex Tape Blackmail

  Spinal Tap confirmed they will play an acoustic tour that will hit Vancouver, Seattle, New York, and several other North American cities. Eddie Murphy will finally get what he always wanted? No, not an Oscar-- it's the chance to play Richard Pryor. Last year, we brought you the story of a man who had sex with a park bench... Read More... Posted Mar 03 2009, 08:56 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: sex tape, drugs, amy winehouse, New York City, Cracked, prison, ebay, seattle, gay sex, blake fielder civil, strollerderby, extra-marital affair, blackmail, while you were sleeping, cheaters, vancouver, toilet humor, sharon osbourne, inanimate objects, spinal tap, eddie murphy, jokes, richard pryor, bartering

• Thing #457 Not to F*ck: A Car Wash Vacuum Cleaner

  If you've just been paroled after a somewhat lengthy prison stay, one that featured no conjugal visits and no reported sex with any female administrative assistants, you're probably about forty times hornier than the average male, who is, on average, forty times hornier than Jacques Casanova after three hits of ecstasy. So, it's almost-- almost, we emphasize-- understandable that Jason Leroy Savage did something unspeakable with an inanimate object after his release... Read More... Posted Feb 27 2009, 01:57 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: dating, police, wtf, michigan, prison, arrest, sex scandal, vacuum cleaner, today in wtf, trial, wtf?, thing not to fuck

• Someone Should Really Name This Johnny Cash Week...

  Pop quiz: two of the most memorable moments in the life of Johnny Cash occurred during the last week of February, one in 1969 and the other in 1932. Can you guess what they are?   Read More... Posted Feb 26 2009, 03:41 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: music, dead people, johnny cash, birthday, concerts, funny, albums, anniversaries, prison, country music, songs, album covers, california, singers, june carter, shel silverstein

• Sloppy Seconds: Women Know When Men Are Turned On

  Life in prison for consensual sex with a 16-year-old boy? That's a big WTF. North Dakota fired another salvo in the war against the morning after pill and other "abortions": they passed a law stating that life begins at conception. Speaking of conception, it's the reason a big celebrity couple recently broke up... Read More... Posted Feb 20 2009, 07:01 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: new york times, wtf, rihanna, Heroes, pregnancy, celebrities, prison, protest, underage sex, teenage boys, bikini, brain, north dakota, men and women, Milo Ventimiglia, hayden panetierre, nyu, chris brown

• Sloppy Seconds: What Do David Lynch and The Dalai Lama Have in Common?

  Porn: it's where your tax dollars are going. [KMBC-TV] A Rod—or that dude Madonna was fucking, depending on what kind-of news you follow—has admitted to using performance enhancing drugs. You know, for baseball. [Jossip] It has been confirmed that Rihanna was the woman Chris Brown assaulted on Saturday, resulting in both of their absences at yesterday's Grammy Awards show. [FadedYouth] How many times does Jodie Sweetin have to tell you she's no longer a Meth addict? [People] Read More... Posted Feb 09 2009, 06:33 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: porn, sloppy seconds, jail, rihanna, david lynch, assault, prison, madonna, twitter, judge, weapons, politicians, taxes, meth, steroids, full house, break ups, alex rodriguez, a rod, battery, prison sex, jodie sweetin, tweets, twittering, tweet, twat, meth labs, meth addicts, dalai lama, chris brown, meth house, car accidents, performance enhancing drugs, trunk, car, why do i pay taxes, prisoners, where does my tax money go, tweaking, chris brown attacks rihanna

• Enterprising Teenager Amasses Collection of Solicited Nude Photos

  If you were to read only that headline, you would be forgiven for mistaking this tale for one of those "heartwarming" Good Morning America segments about the teens that turn their jewelery hobbies into multimillion-dollar online businesses. Unfortunately, that's decidedly not the case with this creepy story... Read More... Posted Feb 05 2009, 09:44 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: facebook, prison, sexual assault, Wisconsin, child abuse, child porn, teenage girls, blackmail, nude photos, rape, sexual abuse, teenage boys, sfw, milwaukee

• While You Were Sleeping: Mickey Rourke's Wrestling Career

  John Landis, the director of the Thriller video, is suing Michael Jackson, who wants to do a Broadway musical of the hit song. This is the funniest prisoner escape story we've yet come across. Here's how we really do not want to die... Read More... Posted Jan 29 2009, 10:58 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: michael jackson, mickey rourke, death, Iraq, toilet, oscars, pregnancy, paparazzi, Broadway, prison, songs, rumor mongering, michelle obama, masturbating, Wrestling, while you were sleeping, sean penn, the wrestler

• Sloppy Seconds: Job-Sanctioned Sex

  This Mom threw such a hardcore kegger for her son and his friends that the cops found the air at her residence was running a .03 alcohol level. The members of the Atlanta band The Black Lips are lucky to not be rotting in an Indian prison. The truth about Joaquin Phoenix should have been obvious to everyone... Read More... Posted Jan 28 2009, 05:59 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: 30 rock, police, cops, strike, television, India, alcohol, prison, work, alec baldwin, sex life, netflix, post office, japanese, meryl streep, atlanta, joaquin phoenix, mom of the year, casey affleck, the a-team, kegs

• Cringeworthy Story of the Day: Inmate Tries to Cut Off His Own Penis With....

  A convicted murderer in Santa Ana insists that he is "a good person who made some really bad choices." In addition to murdering a Newport Beach couple in order to steal their yacht and slashing another man in a "murder-for-money" scheme, Skylar Deleon tried to cut off his own penis while in prison. You might be thinking, 'but prisoners can't have knives or scissors.' And you're right. Read More... Posted Jan 26 2009, 01:09 PM by Emily Farris with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: penis, China, prison, girls, murder, boys, castration, castration in prison, bic razors, santa ana, tried to cut off his penis, triple murderer, bic, single blade disposable razors, digging a hole to china, self mutilation, what kind of razors do prisoners use, boys who feel like girls, skylar deleon, orange county jail, cut off his penis, disposable razors, cringeworthy, self castration

• This Week In Gayness: Two Major Male Movie Stars Make Out

  As we've already mentioned, Boy George was sentenced to 15 months in prison for having sex with a male escort.  Strangest headline of the week: 'No son, your school can't have that new computer because gay people eat soup' Stan Lee supports the gays... once more... Read More... Posted Jan 20 2009, 05:01 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: headlines, prison, gay sex, comic books, this week in gayness, jim carrey, ewan mcgregor, rick santorum, gayness, boy george, prop 8, proposition 8, gay activism, escort service, sundance film festival, stan lee, bromance, dan savage

• Sloppy Seconds: Ellen Degeneres is on the Prowl

  Ellen Degeneres is set on finding Anne Hathaway a new boyfriend. Um, can she find us one while she's at it? [People] Oh! R. Kelly was married? Could have fooled us. [Us] What did Martha Stewart say when she walked in on some lesbians having sex in prison? [DailyIntel] Read More... Posted Jan 08 2009, 06:15 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: marriage, divorce, lawsuits, senate, al franken, R Kelly, lesbians, r. kelly, pro-life, prison, minnesota, conservatives, birth control, ellen degeneres, Pro Life, martha stewart, portia de rossi, anne hathaway, plan b, anti choice, anti-choice, adage, advertising age

• The Facebook Pages of the Italian Mafia

  We always suspected La Cosa Nostra had infiltrated Facebook from prison but, until now, we haven't had the proof... Read More... Posted Jan 08 2009, 01:29 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: dead people, death, facebook, crime, facebook applications, prison, social networking, italy, murder, Italian, criminals, murderers, mafia, gangstas, gangs, kill

• Teens Identified In Robbery After Mom Walks By

  Here's your dumb criminals of the month: not only were they caught preparing for the robbery, chased out of the targeted store by a woman with a flyswatter, but after being tackled by a random security guard who was on to them before they even put on their "masks," one of them realized his Mom was one of the gawking bystanders. The weirdness continues below... Read More... Posted Dec 19 2008, 09:02 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: wtf, security, prison, robbery, stupid criminals, racism, arrested, weird, arrest, New Zealand, teenage boys, racial profiling, Korea, criminals, mothers, robber, robberies

• Dad Uses Cheapo Supplements To Treat Daughter's Infected Heart, Girl Nearly Dies

  When she was admitted to the hospital, one Australian girl was described by a doctor as "the sickest girl I've ever seen" and was running a temperature of 42 degrees Celsius. (For those of you keeping score in crazy America land, that would be about 107 degrees Fahrenheit.) Her mouth was peeling, black, and she could barely breathe thanks to her throat being stuffed with pills. Now that she's confined to a wheelchair and suffering from brain damage, the eleven-year-old girl's father is off to six months in prison. But what is his crime? Read More... Posted Dec 17 2008, 12:52 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: pills, divorce, drugs, wtf, scary, australia, children, prison, medicine, hospital, doctors, families, sick, america, medical, doctor, alternative medicine

• Sloppy Seconds: How Kanye West is Handling the Recession

  The nearly naked girl Michael Phelps has been spotted with his not his girlfriend. Mmmkay? [Us] Another one (of our potential future husbands) bites the dust. Sam Talbot, winner runner up from Season 2 of Top Chef got married in a secret ceremony last month, further increasing my chances of becoming the Crazy Cat Lady. [People] If you're selling pictures you took of Amy Winehouse smoking crack, it's possible you were also smoking (or selling) crack and might go to jail. [Radar] What does Harvey Weinstein have to say about yesterday's Golden Globe nominations? [Vulture] Read More... Posted Dec 12 2008, 07:41 PM by Emily Farris with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: fashion, anderson cooper, sloppy seconds, kanye west, cocaine, amy winehouse, facebook, Barack Obama, 2008, scanner emily, ryan gosling, golden globes, George Bush, pictures, lauren conrad, crack, harvey weinstein, prison, washington post, depression, emily farris, michelle obama, naked, olympics, recession, images, interns, the white house, crazy cat lady, swimming, michael phelps, malia obama, sasha obama, amy winehouse smoking crack, december 12, pictures of amy winehouse smoking crack, the blair house, golden globe nominations, are we in a recession, scanner emily is the crazy cat lady, fashion internships, the great depression, amy winehouse snorting cocaine, sam talbot, are we in a depression, donald graham, internships

• Vegas Is Boring, So Thank God Atlantic City's Still Sleazy...

  Have you heard about the insanity that's going on in Atlantic City? And no, we don't mean the usual drug-related shootings, OD'ing schoolkids, or half a dozen brothels being raided. We're talking about the City Council corruption scandal, which is finally over, having exposed ministers getting blow jobs from prostitutes, backroom deals, and entire families going down in an amusing public bonfire... Read More... Posted Dec 08 2008, 10:46 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: politics, sex tape, hotel rooms, new jersey, sex tapes, prison, arrest, atlantic city, blackmail, corrupted mind, las vegas, prostitute, hotel sex, dj, trial, blow job

• Sloppy Seconds: Divorce for Amy Winehouse?

  Be sure to go outside tonight. And then look up: A slender crescent moon, just 15-percent illuminated, will appear in very close proximity to the two brightest planets in our sky, Venus and Jupiter. Pretty! [Yahoo!] This article, exploring the best age for sex, rubs our inner fuddy-duddy the wrong way: "And here's another bombshell the survey uncovered with which Mr Hefner might concur: ditching your long-term partner for someone new when you turn 40 is said to guarantee that you'll cash in on the sexual revolution. In other words, by getting a new brawn when you're about to experience a mid-life crisis means you'll be happier in the sack than you ever were before." [Sydney Morning Herald] Is 30 Rock completely out of good guest stars? Let's let Larry King be the judge of that. [Vulture] Read More... Posted Dec 01 2008, 05:57 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: tina fey, 30 rock, crazytown, britney spears, sloppy seconds, divorce, drugs, amy winehouse, jail, kevin federline, larry king live, larry king, pictures, hugh hefner, australia, crack, rehab, prison, justin timberlake, blake fielder civil, arrest, alec baldwin, images, Venus, halfway house, old people and sex, larry king on 30 rock, stars on crack, stars smoking crack, australia the movie, smoking crack, amy winehouse smoking crack, amy winehouse on crack, crazy train, jupiter, pictures of venus, sex and old people, blake incarcerated, half-way house, sky, stars on drugs, night sky, mr. amy winehouse