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• You Parents Were Right About Strangers With Candy

  Finally, one of the things your parents warned you about during childhood has come true. Some weirdo in a white van was offering candy to kids in a residential neighborhood in Utah via a sign. Inside the van? Not candy, but a mattress and clothes. Couldn't get much sketchier than that without the prevert himself lurking in there. Outraged Utah moms contacted police straight away, who found that the perp was... Read More... Posted May 08 2009, 05:05 PM by Colleen Kane with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: pedophiles, perverts, pranks, utah, predators, preverts, warnings, strangers with candy, stranger danger

• While You Were Sleeping: The Spitzer Scandal Never Dies

  Remember that red-state porn craze we told you about? Apparently, Utah pays for it more than any other state. Typical: 16 people were arrested following violence at a concert held to promote non-violence. Hayden Panetierre may be heading toward a nervous breakdown. Yeesh... Read More... Posted Mar 10 2009, 09:08 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: porn, amy winehouse, sex scandals, violence, john lennon, concerts, sex trade, FBI, assassination, sex scandal, Eliot Spitzer, perverts, coachella, prostitute, albania, utah, hooker, eliot spitzer prostitution, hayden panetierre, craigs list, sex industry in the recession, nambla, visa

• 19th Century Women Stuck a Cork in It

  Everyone's heard that urban legend about some girl from their high school and the hot dog. As ancient as that story is, it turns out that women have been inserting foreign objects into themselves much longer that that.  A two-volume set of books from 1880, "A Treatise on Foreign Bodies in Surgical Practice," has gone up for auction on eBay, and its list of objects found in women's vaginas shocked even us. Read More... Posted Mar 05 2009, 06:43 PM by Colleen Kane with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: women, vaginas, ebay, weird, boing boing, perverts, wtf?, preverts, leech, 19th century, foreign objects in the vagina

• Today in WTF: Man Has Sex with or in a Dumpster

  The Journal Times in Racine, Wisconsin ran a story today about a 39-year-old man who was busted for "performing a sex act" in a dumpster. Steven Marcsis, as the paper was too "family friendly" to make clear, was most likely masturbating. In the dumpster. And it gets much, much weirder... Read More... Posted Feb 11 2009, 09:45 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: sex, school, Wisconsin, arrested, arrest, insanity, child porn, perverts, today in wtf, trash, trial, wtf?, court cases

• With Headlines Like These Who Needs Stories?

  If it happened in a Kansas Walmart, you know it has to be good... Read More... Posted Feb 06 2009, 02:19 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: headlines, animals, kids, masturbation, toys, children, walmart, white trash, masturbating, kansas, sodomy, perverts, wal-mart, beastiality

• Publix Parking Lot Blow-Up

  This Florida resident, George Bartusek, acted like a grade-A freakazoid yesterday, grinding on and making out with two blow-up dolls in his car in a Publix parking lot. But as The Smoking Gun points out in the man's defense, he was fully dressed and not harming anyone. So what did the authorities get him on? Read More... Posted Feb 05 2009, 12:31 PM by Colleen Kane with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: florida, perverts, blow up dolls, preverts, the smoking gun, crime doesn't pay, freakazoids, publix

• Teacher Shows Girls His Dick... In Class

  Unlike Sting, this young teacher was not the subject of schoolgirl fantasy. Crazy Cat Dude Jason Beaudry, a math teacher at Chicopee Comprehensive High School in Massachusetts, has been arrested after a January incident in which he showed three teenage girls, all of them underage, a picture of his pet. What's wrong with that? Oh, we get it now... his other pet was in there... Read More... Posted Feb 04 2009, 03:43 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: employment, teachers, jobs, teacher student sex, arrested, arrest, perverts, teacher sex, nude photos, penis parade, fast food, massachusetts, sfw, trial, penis pics, penis pictures, text message, arrest warrant

• Facebook Full of Refugee Pervs From MySpace?

  MySpace revealed today that they removed 90,000 registered sex offenders from the site over the past two years. But it's not like that can stop them from using social networking sites -- and where to go next? How about the social networking site that has profiles of everyone and their mothers: Facebook.  Read More... Posted Feb 03 2009, 03:19 PM by Colleen Kane with | with no comments Filed under: myspace, facebook, sex offenders, pedophiles, perverts, myspace is dead, preverts

• While You Were Sleeping: Morrissey Gets Naked For CD Sales

  The police used to have a fetish for busting dying dope smokers. Now, they're getting into busting up private dance studios that teach pole dancing. Here's your daily creep. Today, it's a driving school instructor. Can you believe Bon Jovi hadn't been inducted into the New Jersey Hall of Fame? These judges give the state a bad name... Read More... Posted Feb 03 2009, 09:12 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: porn star, police, bon jovi, pole dancing, marijuana, new jersey, teacher student sex, perverts, teacher sex, sasha grey, sfw, robber, naked man, drunk drivers, morrissey

• Today in "The Sun Made This Up": Raccoon Bites Man's Manhood

  Scanner is turning into the Castration Station today, what with this story and Emily's post. But what do you expect from monstrous feminists?   So, the British rag The Sun claims that a drunk man was trying to have a go at a racoon. You know, the old raping-the-racoon trick? According to the story, the fiesty raccoon fought back, biting the man's penis.  “He’s been told they can get things working again but they can’t sew back on what the raccoon bit off," according to a pal of the man.  OK, here's a few reasons why this story seems dubious. Read More... Posted Jan 26 2009, 01:40 PM by Colleen Kane with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: drunk, penis, russia, perverts, rape, the sun, accident, beastiality, preverts, raccoon, drunken antics, british rags

• Today in Teacher Sex: Louisiana and New York Pervs Reach New Heights

  Last year, there were well over four hundred reported cases of teachers having sex with underage students. So, it should come as no surprise that we're starting to get two of these creeptastic tales per day... Read More... Posted Jan 22 2009, 01:36 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: New York City, teachers, teacher student sex, louisiana, perverts, teacher sex

• Hooters Fires Physically-Abused Waitress For Not Looking Hot Enough

  All Sara Dye, 27, wanted from Hooters was her job back-- or, if she couldn't have that, the unemployment benefits she was due under Iowa state law. However, her ex-employer fought her all the way through trial, desperate to prevent her from receiving the few hundred dollars (we're guessing) she was owed.  Not only that, but Dye hadn't done anything deliberate that warranted a sacking-- unless you count picking the Boyfriend or Husband From Hell... Read More... Posted Jan 05 2009, 05:51 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: hooters, employment, court, abuse, sexism, restaurants, iowa, perverts, lawsuit, domestic violence, sexy photos, sfw

• Arousal Brings Out the Creep in Many Dudes

  We all know that alcohol can make men do stupid things. Now science has proven that boners are even worse for our judgment...  Read More... Posted Dec 30 2008, 12:10 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: books, drunk, drugs, science, drinking, studies, creepy, date rape, sex life, experimenting, perverts, older women, turn offs, turn ons, kissingng, hate sex, berkeley, aroused, sexual attraction

• Tampon Man: The Craziest Craziness to Ever Crazy up the Internet

  We at Scanner understand that it takes all kinds. But we at Scanner have not even begun the comprehension process after stumbling upon the following website, or as we like to call it, Blogging Gold. Tampon-Man's World appears to be a primatively constructed website written in Engrish and dedicated to, among other things, "using tampon without the purpose of menses...they may belong to your life style!" As you may have deduced by the name, it's also written by a man.  But first, let's let the Tampon Man website get one thing straight: "This is not a porn and fetish site!" "However, do not tell anybody about this web site!" Read More... Posted Dec 19 2008, 10:12 AM by Colleen Kane with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: fetishes, perverts, preverts, engrish, blogging gold, tampon, we at scanner

• Hostel-Owning Perv Learns to Shut His Spy Hole

  We didn't think it was possible, but hostel showers just got scarier. The owner of a New Zealand backpackers' hostel has been sentenced to 150 hours community service plus probation after filming female hostel guests as they showered. That isn't even the most disturbing part of the tale. Read More... Posted Dec 04 2008, 04:12 PM by Colleen Kane with | with no comments Filed under: porn, peeping tom, pornography, New Zealand, perverts, hostel, pervs

• MySpace Actually Good For Something After All...

  Pretend for a minute that you actually still use MySpace and care about its survival. After a week that ended with the near vindication of the horrible woman who drove her daughter's enemy to suicide-via-MySpace, you'd be forgiven for just wanting Tom & Co. to pack up and shut the servers down. But you might want to reevaluate the validity of the world's #1 social networking hub in the wake of this hilarious "WTF?" story from California. Today's tale involves two pranksters, a creepy teacher, and the beauty of the internet... Read More... Posted Dec 01 2008, 09:44 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: kids, myspace, employment, teacher student sex, social networking, arrested, teenage girls, perverts, teacher sex, teenage boys, california

• Scanner Highs and Lows: So Long, Good Luck, and Pass the Turkey

  This week, we said goodbye to Scanner Nicole... and a few turkeys, most of which were killed by Sarah Palin's henchmen. Read More... Posted Nov 28 2008, 02:22 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: porn star, thanksgiving, mustache, vigilantes, sex, elton john, sweden, celebrities, maggie gyllenhaal, perverts, thanks for the mammaries, nude photos, scanner highs and lows, kim catrall, jake gyllenhaal, san francisco, scanner nicole, Chipotle, photographers, turkey, naked woman, joe the plumber, hendrick's gin, dexter

• No Legal Remedies for "Upskirting" and "Downblousing"

  Technology definitely progresses faster than the law and the perves are taking advantage of the loop holes. Snapping a picture with a cell phone up a woman's skirt ("upskirting" ) or down her blouse ("downblousing") has become a world craze. Japan now requires cellphone cameras to come with a shutter sound to announce a picture is being taken.  Read More... Posted Nov 26 2008, 01:37 PM by Scanner Matt with | with no comments Filed under: nipples, sex, nudity, vagina, butts, sex offenders, perverts, camel toe, legs, naked woman, downblouse, breatss, shot of woman up skirt, cellphone porn, thanksgiving day pornography, privacy laws, cellphone pronography, saudi arabia, upskirt, nude woman

• Today in Sweden: Teen Sex For Booze On The Rise

  The percentage of people trading sex for booze is on the rise in the U.S. and Canada, especially among former Brady Bunch stars. Now a truly oblivious police department in Sweden wants to warn teens about trading sex for booze... as some guys would like to have sex with you in exchange for the booze. Thank you, Lieutenant Obvious... Read More... Posted Nov 26 2008, 09:40 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: prostitution, police, cops, teen sex, booze, drinking, sweden, world of warcraft, teenage girls, perverts, swedish, underage sex, prostitute, brady bunch

• Mom Films Her Boyfriend Having Sex with Her 13-Year-Old Daughter

  The Sun reports today on the case of a 46-year-old Perth, Australia mom (well, until they take the daughter away from her, of course) who allegedly videotaped a 29-year-old man having sex with the mom's thirteen-year-old daughter. And the video might have stayed under wraps, had the man not blackmailed another woman, a victim of his internet stalking... Read More... Posted Nov 21 2008, 03:55 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: sex tape, arrests, stalker, sex tapes, australia, creepy, sex offenders, child porn, Emma Watson, perverts, stalkers, stalking, australian, bail, internet stalker

• Sloppy Seconds: Photos of New Planets, Yay!

  Same-sex heart transplants are the just better. (We'll resist gay marriage jokes here.) Justin Long: from Drew Barrymore... to Tila Tequila? We're glad neither are divulging the make-out details. Democratic Senator Barbara Boxer's aide was arrested for... guess what? Read More... Posted Nov 13 2008, 05:18 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: gawker, space, tila tequila, making out, photo of the day, david letterman, drew barrymore, same-sex hookups, cnn.com, perverts, democrat, justin long, pregnacy, heart, planets, jamie-lyn sigler, russell brand

• Bestiality Bust Is Our Favorite Swedish Sex Story Ever

  We know Scanner Emily mentioned this yesterday, but it's way to good not to blog about in full. A 45-year-old father of two was exposed by the Swedish newspaper the Expressen for running a bestiality ring that allegedly includes thirty members. But it's not the sex ring or the fact that a newspaper was the one to blow the lid off this thing (instead of the cops, that is) that caused us to sit up and drop our bagels... Read More... Posted Nov 12 2008, 11:40 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: sex tape, scary, sex, funny, animal sex, sweden, creepy, perverts, bestiality, swedish, Europe, government, animal abuse

• How The World Watches Porn Now

  Elmhurst, Illinois, you perverts! Today, we were alerted to Internet Pornography Statistics, a website devoted to compiling mildly outdated info on how the world searches for porn. Among its most interesting revelations: China makes billions more on porn than the United States does... Read More... Posted Nov 03 2008, 02:14 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: google, porn, kim kardashian, internet, teen sex, sex, connecticut, surveys, China, pornography, perverts, america, illinois, california, sfw, porn addiction, adult dating

• Trick or Treat, Give Us Something Good to Eat

  If you could give us one piece of Halloween candy tonight, what would it be, and why?  And when we say "candy," we really mean candy, pervert. [Image] Posted Oct 31 2008, 05:17 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: halloween, 2008, candy, perverts, halloween candy, corn candy, saltwater taffy, candy corn, trick or treat, reese pieces, salt water taffy, kit kat, trick or treating, october 31

• What Kind of Sick, Psychosexual Experiment Is Going On at El Modena High?

  High school teacher Carlie Rose Attebury, a music teacher, was arrested after a sexual encounter with one of her male students. Unfortunately, there's a lot more to this story than Attebury's alleged conduct and subsequent apprehension... Read More... Posted Oct 30 2008, 11:58 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: high school, music, wtf, sex, sexual assault, teacher student sex, arrest, hot teachers, perverts, teacher sex, sexual abuse, california, psychology, crazies

• Thing #7,859 Not To F*ck: A Metal Rod

  You would think it would be a woman (or, if was a guy, then a guy simulating some anal action) that would be the one to try having sex with a metal rod. As insane as the idea is, we'd at least relate to it if someone stuck a long, sturdy tube in their private parts... but only if those parts were the ass or the vagina... ...certainly not if they stuck a long, study tube anywhere else... Read More... Posted Oct 17 2008, 03:46 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: fucking, masturbating, perverts, underage sex, park sex, things that look like penises, sex acts, thing not to fuck

• No Surprise Here: Democrat Who Defeated Mark Foley Is A Perv

  Tim Mahoney, who only won his Congressional seat because Mark Foley's name was still on the ballot, is already in danger of losing it because of his own boneheaded sex scandal... Read More... Posted Oct 14 2008, 03:10 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: politics, sex scandals, Mark Foley, florida, sex offenders, extra-marital affair, perverts, democrat, idiots, cheaters, politician

• Today in WTF: Virtual Boob Groping

  Now that boob groping is available for the iPhone, can sex with our cell phones be too far off? Seriously, yesterday we joked that since our Nokia phones tear hair off our heads when we're speaking on them, it makes sense that they could be equal if not better vibrator/shaver devices than the new vibrator combo. We didn't seriously think that cell phones could be sexual devices... until we saw this... Read More... Posted Sep 25 2008, 12:21 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: boobs, wtf, nerds, groping, boob envy, apple, perverts, iphone, breast, sfw, steve jobs, naked woman

• While You Were Sleeping: Posing Nude For Fun Or Charity

  Jude Law's new girlfriend is posing nude for the upcoming edition of Playboy in France. If this guy keeps winning elections, maybe there isn't any reason to vote. A conservative Canadian mayor is finding out that just because those nude photos of her made headlines over five years ago, people are still going to bring them up when she runs for higher office. Uncensored photo after the jump... Read More... Posted Sep 22 2008, 09:09 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: new york, stripper, beer, playboy, charity, canada, nsfw, france, florida, strippers, england, cheapdom, election, camera phones, arrested, Jude Law, mayor, sex scandal, perverts, detroit, nude photos, lawyers, stripping, conservative, strip club, girlfriends

• Woman Busted For Videotaping Her Underage Sex Crime

  Hey, just because R. Kelly was acquitted doesn't mean we should all run out and find jailbait to have sex with. More importantly, if we're dumb enough to do all that, we should probably not film the sex with our cellphone cameras. Well, that's just what one 31-year-old Florida woman did... and was caught because she all but asked to be... Read More... Posted Sep 18 2008, 03:12 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: jail, florida, prison, camera phones, arrested, jailbait, perverts, idiots, teenage boys, older women