Boy, we sure had a fun time playing that “Hottest Person in
the Worst Movie” contest with you guys. It was tough to pick a winner (though
we did, and it shall be revealed soon). The ladies you see above you are our
runners-up in the female category. It’s not fair that there can only be one
winner, it’s not fair all of you can’t get vibrators and/or T-shirts, and it’s
not fair (while we’re on this jaunt) that we will never sleep with Jonathan
Rhys Meyers or kiss his pale, pillowy lips. What can we do? We can marry, fuck,
or kill.
Milla Jovovich deserves to be here, because it’s possible she’s
never actually been in a GOOD movie. (Dazed and Confused? She had no lines!). Gina
Gershon in Bound was Angelina back when Angelina was still playing-acting her nutty
goth girl schtick. (Though we must clarify that Bound,
while campy, is a good movie.) Keira Knightley in Domino? Well, let’s just say
we have a soft spot for Keira, and the way she uttered that ludicrous tagline, “I
am Dome-eeh-noe.” So now, without further ado.
Marry, fuck, or kill?
- Milla Jovovich in Resident Evil
- Gina Gershon in Bound
- Keira Knightey in Domino
