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• Sloppy Seconds: The Abortion Donuts?

  While he chose to be overseas rather than attend the inauguration, Tom Cruise wants you to know he supports Obama. Captain Sully was at the inauguration. Afterward, he took his family to a restaurant called the Hudson. Diane Sawyer, who used to work for Nixon, really enjoyed herself at Obama's inaugural balls last night. This video clearly shows just how much she enjoyed it, if you know what we mean... Read More... Posted Jan 21 2009, 05:51 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: video, internet, rihanna, Barack Obama, tom cruise, concerts, Malaysia, Broadway, islam, Wisconsin, theater, mayor, strollerderby, Diane Sawyer, underage sex, drunk people, conservative, jonas brothers, nixon, donuts, inauguration, inaugural ball, inaugural, abortion policies, sasha and malia, patti lupone

• Clever Hipsters Re-Name Bush Street Obama Street

  Some clever kids in San Francisco found a creative way to celebrate Barack Obama's inauguration while sending a subtle "fuck you" to outgoing president George Bush.  Read More... Posted Jan 20 2009, 04:07 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: obama, Barack Obama, George Bush, bush, hipsters, san francisco, california, inauguration, CA, presidential inauguration, bush street renamed obama street, bush street, how to celebrate barack obama's inauguration, obama street

• Scanner Roundtable: What Are You Doing to Celebrate?

  So today is pretty much the biggest day in all our lives (except for falling in love and having babies and all of those other things other people do). What are you doing to commemorate it? Read More... Posted Jan 20 2009, 12:01 PM by Emily Farris with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: scanner roundtable, Barack Obama, cnn, missouri, kansas city, nancy reagan, tivo, inauguration, inaugural ball, 2009, january 20, celebration, cspan, celebrating the inauguration, dvr

• Chris Rock is Spending Inauguration Day in the Whitest Place in America

  On this historic day, Chris Rock won't be in Washington, D.C., but promoting a film at Sundance in Utah, or as he puts it, "the whitest place in America." Here's his explanation about why it's hard to make fun of Barack Obama.    Read More... Posted Jan 20 2009, 10:49 AM by Colleen Kane with | with no comments Filed under: obama, Barack Obama, chris rock, white people, jimmy carter, jennifer aniston, will smith, utah, inauguration, brad pittt, angelina joliee, sundance

• The Very Best Thing About This Inauguration...

  When the inaugural ceremonies kicked off on Sunday, HBO was there to document the whole thing, live. We saw Bruce and Pete Seeger, Beyonce and Bono, a bunch of Hollywood celebrities and even Joe Biden's million-dollar smile. We saw everything, that is, except the one thing we really, really wanted to see... Read More... Posted Jan 20 2009, 10:18 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: Bono, HBO, Barack Obama, television, hollywood, celebrities, President, beyonce, bruce springsteen, joe biden, televangelist, reverend, rick warren, inauguration, inaugural, pete seeger, reverend gene robinson, speeches

• Make Your Own Obama Inaugural Address

  Remember Mad Libs? Of course you do-- you received a stack of them for Christmas as a "gag gift," although you won't admit to anyone you plowed through a bottle of wine on Sunday night and filled up all but two of them. A new website will satisfy your cravings for trying to remember what adverbs and nouns are and then trying to make half-finished sentences funny. They've taken a generic Obama-style speech, removed a word or two from every line, and allow you to plug in your own snark at random.  See what we came up with and try your hand at composition, after the jump... Read More... Posted Jan 16 2009, 04:33 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: politics, Barack Obama, christmas presents, christmas gift ideas, inauguration, inauguration day, mad limbs, inaugural

• While You Were Sleeping: John Mayer vs. Jimmy Fallon?

  The new Iron Man 2 rumors say that there may not be enough money to include Samuel L. Jackson. Then again, they are somehow able to afford Emily Blunt for a role. We're a sucker for crazy bets like this: a Republican senator lost a gentlemanly bet on a college football game to a Democratic senator. His repentance? He had to serenade Florida politician Bill Nelson, a former astronaut, with Elton John's "Rocket Man." The Ex-BART officer who shot and killed an unarmed man on recorded video was found... Read More... Posted Jan 15 2009, 09:08 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: beer, john mayer, teachers, elton john, florida, Republican, amy poehler, nevada, the office, washington, teacher sex, brothel, Jimmy Fallon, california, emily blunt, vh1, legal, iron man 2, samuel l. jackson, inauguration

• This Week in Gayness: Being Gay Is A Choice, Say Repuglicans

  We're really sick of Tim Kaine. First, he botches the Democratic response to the State of the Union in a year when he could have turned the tide away from that dreadful President of ours; then, he decides he wants to be the next DNC chair. Now, this ass-backwards dweeb is going to help lead the party away from progressive values like, for example, marriage equality. Kaine, according to Queers United, "has endorsed an amendment banning same-sex marriage. Click here to ask why LGBT democrats should support a party whose chair is anti civil unions and more anti-gay than John McCain." The guy who stole the 2004 Presidential election in Ohio thinks being gay is a choice. We don't even know where to start with his fucking scoundrel. Speaking of elections, a gay bishop is to open Obama's inaugural weekend festivities. Read More... Posted Jan 13 2009, 10:17 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: lesbian, lgbt, angelina jolie, gay marriage, Barack Obama, brad pitt, florida, boycott, ohio, this week in gayness, democrat, gayness, dnc, presidential election, proposition 8, 2004, inauguration, inaugural ball, inauguration day, gay bishop

• While You Were Sleeping: Kate Hudson's Latest Prize

  A teenage girl sent 14,528 text messages in one month-- proving that actual, human conversations, even ones over the telephone, are dead. (And yes, her family had her on an unlimited SMS plan.) We're pretty sure George W. Bush's final news conference will go down in history as his most memorable. Check out the full text here. Can someone explain to us why Megan Fox thinks she looks like this guy? Read More... Posted Jan 13 2009, 09:08 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: dating, george w bush, Barack Obama, Usher, youtube, congress, celebrities, kate hudson, teenage girls, bruce springsteen, Shakira, beyonce knowles, megan fox, alex rodriguez, stevie wonder, sheryl crow, mail goggles, cell phone, inauguration, text message, drivingng, transvestite

• Bust Out the Blue Panties and Curl Your Hairs: We're Having Our Picture Taken with Obama on Inauguration Day

  Did that last $25 you gave to Barack Obama not pay off? You know, the donation you made with the hopes of maybe, hopefully, prettyprettyplease being one of ten donors "randomly" picked to attend the inaguration? Are you certain that your dream of having your picture taken with America's first black president on such a historical day is crushed forever? Well, it's time to turn that "no we can't" into a "yes we can." Because thanks to some clever Brits, yes we can. Read More... Posted Jan 07 2009, 11:23 AM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: the UK, Barack Obama, michelle obama, oval office, tourists, inauguration, 2009, the u.k, tickets to the presidential inauguration, tickets to barack obama's inauguration, u.s. citizens, wax museum, donation of $25 or more, inauguration day, wax barack obama, president elect barack obama, madam tussads, plane tickets, january 20, how to get into the inauguration

• Sloppy Seconds: Kate Winslet's Secret

  Things seem to be looking up for Jennifer Hudson this year. Rumor has it, she may be singing the "Star Spangled Banner" for Obama's inauguration. [Radar] Matt Dillon is facing a possible three months in jail if convicted for driving 103 miles an hour in a 65-mph zone. [Us] John Travolta's son, Jett, is dead at 16. [Gawker] Read More... Posted Jan 02 2009, 04:33 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: marriage, larry craig, sloppy seconds, dead people, lily allen, jail, Barack Obama, sex, john travolta, babies having babies, babble, pregnancy, kate winslet, mile high club, airplane sex, famecrawler, senator larry craig, sex scandal, gray hair, alaska, birth, sarah palin, bristol palin, levi johnston, jennifer hudson, speeding, gym, inauguration, 2009, bathroom sex, january 2, look good without going to the gym, lily allen's boyfriend, why is mph not capitalized, matt dillon, gray-haired mystery man, lose weight without going to the gym, pilates, minneapolis-st. paul international airport, soliciting sex, miles per hour, mph, jett travolta, kelly preston

• Sloppy Seconds: Which "Dancing With the Stars" Star Will Pose for Playboy?

  How many things are wrong with this picture? Britney Spears' dad Jamie has been making about $10,000 to "look after her," but  he just got a raise of $51,000 a year, making about $75 an hour to babysit his daughter. [People] Barack Obama has chosen to use Abraham Lincoln's bible for his swearing in. [Radar] If you were an editor at the New York Times and the mayor of Paris sent you a letter criticizing the prospect of Caroline Kennedy taking over Hillary Clinton's Senate seat wouldn't you just check to make sure it was really from the mayor of Paris? Maybe? Oops. [Jossip] Read More... Posted Dec 23 2008, 06:06 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: new york, new york times, britney spears, sloppy seconds, playboy, Barack Obama, 2008, youtube, Paris, videos, billy bob thornton, music videos, celebrities, jamie spears, abraham lincoln, artists, dancing with the stars, pants, inauguration, caroline kennedy, lisa rinna, inaugural ball, high paying jobs, bertrand delanoë, u.s. senate

• While You Were Sleeping: Update on the Pole Dancing Video Game

  Check out this fake police I.D. card a man made for himself. You'll note he didn't completely paint over Chipotle's logo...  Mindy McCready capped off a horrible year with a visit to the psych ward following a suicide attempt. Let's hope the new year presents her with a clean slate. Here's a great robbery story... Read More... Posted Dec 18 2008, 09:01 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: stripper, lindsay lohan, stalker, Wii, Barack Obama, money, psych ward, robbery, country music, Chicago, Nintendo Wii, stealing, crazy people, mindy mccready, stripping, fast food, Chipotle, funeral, stevie wonder, suicidal, rick warren, inauguration, lindsay lohan and samantha ronson