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• Scanner Highs And Lows: Toplessness On Parade

  This week we highlighted the world's growing insanity, lawlessness, and preponderance for rampant public nudity... Read More... Posted Aug 01 2008, 05:27 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: porn, amy winehouse, relationships, highs and lows, porn stars, celebrities, scanner highs and lows, topless photos, topless model, parades

• Scanner Highs and Lows: Is That a Hot Dog in Your Pocket or Are You Just Happy to See Us?

  Because we're happy to see you, too... Read More... Posted Jul 03 2008, 04:35 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: tattoos, sex, highs and lows, penis, celebrities, albums, clusterfuck, erections, penises, pete wentz, hot dogs, scanner highs and lows, areolas, music camp, sexy music

• Scanner Highs and Lows: In Which Our Minds Are Blown

  Bleebloobloop. So much happened this week our brains are on overload. We're about to crash. Go see for yourself what we mean. Read More... Posted Jun 27 2008, 06:27 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: boobs, dogs, amy winehouse, highs and lows, balls, sex tapes, ashley alexandra dupree, bears, rape, supreme court, mini me, george carlin, cockroaches, scanner emily's personal problems, dmx, princess bride, mastrubation, haiku

• Scanner Highs and Lows: The Week That Was All About The Ladies

  Well, it was about all of the ladies but one, and we were pretty okay with that. But seriously, if you like ladies, you'll love this week's Highs and Lows. Read More... Posted Jun 06 2008, 07:03 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: hillary clinton, lily allen, Sex and the City, Barack Obama, highs and lows, swingers, babeland, vagina, 2 girls 1 cup, voting, boobies, Dita Von Teese, john lajoie, rachael ray, break ups, booty call, salon sarah, scanner nicole

• Scanner Highs and Lows: In Which We Consider Prancing Around in Stripper Shoes to Survive the Recession

  It was a long, cold winter and nothing says fuck me (and tip me) like a pair of stripper shoes, right?  Read More... Posted May 23 2008, 06:01 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: stephen colbert, Barack Obama, highs and lows, R Kelly, penis, scarlett johansson, john McCain, mike Huckabee, new kids on the block, ellen degeneres, nkotb, Oprah, jon stewart, vegetarians, 90210, stripper shoes, hulu

• Scanner Highs and Lows: We See London, We See France, We See Everyone's Everything

  Spring must really be in the air, because we saw everybody's everything this week—including some we wish we hadn't. Read More... Posted May 16 2008, 05:42 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: boobs, lily allen, highs and lows, celebrities, angelina joile

• Scanner Highs and Lows: Can You Say Disappointment?

  Seriously, we thought we were going to get fingerbanged and then we didn't. How do you think our week went? Read More... Posted May 02 2008, 06:23 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: star wars, snoop dogg, highs and lows, hulk hogan, dildos, miley cyrus, scarlett johansson, billy ray cyrus, poor people, madonna, willie nelson, fingerbanging, chrissie hynde, meth, akon, brooke hogan, clothes, tpain

• Scanner Highs and Lows: Can You Say Boobies? No? How About Boobs?

  Maybe it's the warm weather, but we definitely experienced more boobs than usual this week. Let's make a little game out of it and see how many times we can use "boob" or "boobs" in one post. Read More... Posted Apr 25 2008, 05:49 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: boobs, highs and lows

• Scanner Highs and Lows: We Got Finger Banged at Summer Camp

  We can't think of anything in the world that compares to getting finger banged at summer camp. So we'll leave it at that sweet, sweaty, sticky thought. The rest of the stuff that happened this week is after the jump. Read More... Posted Apr 11 2008, 05:48 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: boobs, highs and lows, summer camp, wet hot american summer, madonna, ellen page, fingering

• Scanner Highs and Lows: It Hurts So Good

  This week was all about intensity, good, bad and, uh, injected. Read More... Posted Apr 04 2008, 06:44 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: boobs, video, lindsay lohan, richard simmons, highs and lows, new kids on the block, engagements, jimmy kimmel, joanna angel, Rickrolling, bathtub, giselle, pain, 40s, sweedish boobs

• Scanner Highs and Lows: It's All About You, And Boobs

  We like to think that in addition to showing you pictures of boobs, we're doing a public service here at Scanner. We want you to get dates and have sex and look at great pictures... of many things. Read More... Posted Mar 28 2008, 06:13 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: real dolls, lindsay lohan, britney spears, sex tape, helen mirren, amy winehouse, weddings, south park, highs and lows, julia allison, geeks, masturbating, jamie lee curtis, prostitutes, miss bimbo, men in trees, angels, uclAa, scanner highs and lows, undie run, kristin davis

• Scanner Highs and Lows: In Which We Say Goodbye to Boobs

  In our lifetimes many boobs will come and go. But every once in a while a pair like no other comes along (and, no, they don't belong to Ashley Alexandra Dupre). And just like that, they're gone. Read More... Posted Mar 21 2008, 06:14 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: boobs, halle berry, fox news, facebook, Iraq, highs and lows, katie holmes, boob envy, war, ashley alexandra dupre, Asia Argento, skin, spring, sportst illustrated

• Scanner Highs and Lows: In Which We Fall in Love With Ashley Alexandra Dupre

  There were a few things that happened this week that didn't have anything to do with soon-to-be-former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer's high class hooker, but we were all pretty much focused on one thing this week, and her name is Ashley Alexandra Dupre. Read More... Posted Mar 14 2008, 05:33 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: snoop dogg, toilet, highs and lows, Jessica Simpson, Joe Francis, girls gone wild, Eliot Spitzer, sally kern, ashley alexandra dupe

• Scanner Highs and Lows: Michael McDonald Still Hasn't Called

  Damn, this was a busy week. We fell in and out of love, we traveled, we encountered racism, and as always, we saw some boobs. Oh, and story of our lives: he never called. Read More... Posted Mar 07 2008, 05:01 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: boobs, marilyn monroe, video, lindsay lohan, high heels, hillary clinton, hooters, saturday night live, Barack Obama, highs and lows, dildos, sandwiches, italians, ellen page, the wire, lindsay as marilyn, michael mcdonald, michael musto, coolio, sandwich porn, susan sarandon, glamour, the apocalypse, cooking, democratic primary, double dildos, outer space, crotches, teaxas

• Scanner Highs and Lows: A Whole Lotta Love

  We were full of love at Scanner this week. And, really, how could we not be? Read More... Posted Feb 29 2008, 04:48 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: boobs, tina fey, prince, kids, Sex and the City, natalie portman, highs and lows, oscars, scarlett johansson, crack, SNL, birth control, marion cotillard, brains, schoolol, ginnifer flowers, zubas

• Scanner Highs and Lows: The Week We Learned to Appreciate Our Bodies Just the Way They Are

  We spent the week contemplating our belly buttons, boobs, bellies and butts. And in the end, we appreciate what nature gave us a little bit more than we did when the week began. How about you? Read More... Posted Feb 22 2008, 04:57 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: boobs, sex tape, art, msnbc, christina aguilera, Barack Obama, highs and lows, dicks, france, butts, Gene Simmons, architectural porn, courtney cox, osana bin laden, penises, painting

• Scanner Highs and Lows: We Survived Another Valentine's Day and So Did You

  Valentine's Day has come and gone and we're all still here (except maybe the people who got heart-shaped suckers with scraps of metal in them). We may have gained a few pounds and had a few too many red hots while watching LOST alone in bed, but over all, it was an OK week. Even for those of us who aren't getting any (and that includes you now, New York Post readers!). Read More... Posted Feb 15 2008, 05:01 PM by Emily Farris with | with 12 comment(s) Filed under: video, britney spears, amy winehouse, nipples, highs and lows, valentine's day, cunt, grammys, readings, events, amsterdam, new york post, sex boycott, jane fonda

• Scanner Highs and Lows: We Like to Play Dress Up

  It's true, we like to put on high heels and feather boas and maybe, just maybe, we'll get dressed up to go to the theater. Read More... Posted Feb 08 2008, 04:57 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: anna nicole smith, high heels, police, dead people, Lost, highs and lows, scanner emily, wet hot american summer, captions, voting, peru, sawyer, burlesque, theater

• Scanner Highs and Lows: Bowls, Balls, Bugs, Boobs and Beads

  This week went by pretty quicky, but not without bringing to our attention many things that begin with the letter 'B.' Frankly, we're glad the week is over. We're going to go crawl into a hole, then watch the Super Bowl, and we'll be back on Monday.  Read More... Posted Feb 01 2008, 04:12 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: boobs, halle berry, babies, highs and lows, George Bush, state of the union, new kids on the block, breasts, isabella rossellini, bug porn, super bowl, friday

• Scanner Highs and Lows: You Take the Good, You Take the Bad

  So much happened this week, we don't even know where to begin. It was sad week, and a happy week, and a fun week. We welcomed new people, said goodbye to others, and even tried to save some folks. As usual, we're spent.  Read More... Posted Jan 25 2008, 04:49 PM by Emily Farris with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: politics, britney spears, hillary clinton, amy winehouse, death, welcome, Heath Ledger, highs and lows, demi moore, George Bush, facts of life

• Scanner Highs and Lows: All About the Girl Parts

  Every once in a while we kid ourselves into thinking there's more to life than boobs. Read More... Posted Jan 11 2008, 04:48 PM by Emily Farris with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: boobs, politics, computers, highs and lows, granny panties, god, survivors, exercise

• Scanner Highs and Lows: Booze and Boobs

  T'was the last of the slow holiday weeks here at Scanner. We drank too much but still managed to learn one very important lesson in the New Year... Read More... Posted Jan 04 2008, 04:30 PM by Emily Farris with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: boobs, booze, highs and lows, week in review

• Scanner Highs and Lows: Christmas Slacker Edition

  It was a slow week here at Scanner, what with the Nerve Holiday Gift Guide coming to an abrupt stop and Scanner Emily stuck first in an airport, then in Christian County with a bad internet connection. But, hey, we learned some very important things about R. Kelly, ourselves, and unfortunately, our families. Read More... Posted Dec 28 2007, 04:01 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: highs and lows, R Kelly, christians

• Scanner Highs and Lows: The Jamie Lynn Spears Pregnancy Edition...and Other Stuff

  We came, we saw, wet got pregnant. Read More... Posted Dec 21 2007, 05:06 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: mfk, marry fuck or kill, bryan does something goofy, highs and lows, Jessica Simpson, elves, jamie lynn spears

• Scanner Highs and Lows: Puppies, Babies and Pole Dancing

  It's been a crazy week here at Scanner, what with our new Holiday Gift Guide and Ike Turner dying. Oh, and we drank too much, and offended people, all while finding the time to make remedial flow charts... Read More... Posted Dec 14 2007, 05:06 PM by Emily Farris with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: Christmas, highs and lows, week in review

• Scanner Highs and Lows

  We worked at an arts camp over the summer and every night we'd sit in circles on the floor of our bunk and each girl would share her highs and lows of the day. It was productive, on many levels, and something we took back into our real life in the big city ("Low: thinking I could go immediately back to drinking four Jameson's after a month of sobriety and feel fine the next day."). So, now we're going to try incorporating it here. Read More... Posted Dec 07 2007, 04:47 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: amy winehouse, Sex and the City, snoop dogg, highs and lows, week in review