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• Give a Steamy Goodbye to CraigsList's Erotic Services

  We didn't think it was really going to happen, but the Powers that Be at CraigsList have folded under pressure to remove "erotic services" from the site. Read More... Posted May 13 2009, 04:39 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: new york, porn, prostitution, employment, craigslist, jobs, pornography, escort services, craigslist murder, erotic services, andrew cuomo, adult services

• We Interrupt This Regularly Scheduled Programming to Bring You The Best Craigslist Personal Ad of The Day

  Here. We'll be back in about half an hour.  Posted May 12 2009, 12:21 PM by Emily Farris with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: poop, craigslist, fetishes, Craigslist ad, personals, poop jokes, craig's list

• Iowa Politician Swears He Ordered the Massage Without the Happy Ending

  A City Councilman in Council Bluffs, Iowa, is on trial this week after ordering up a "sensual massage" via Craigslist. It turned out the masseuse was a police informant and the cops raided the hotel room before the happy ending. But check out the excuses Darren Bates offered on the stand yesterday: they're only making his situation more comical... Read More... Posted May 08 2009, 03:54 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: police, political, craigslist, arrested, massage, iowa, happy ending, trials, Craigslist ad, nebraska, politician, craig's list, erotic services, omaha

• Craigslist Erotic Services Aren't Going Anywhere

  In the wake of the "Craigslist killing"—an April 14 incident in which a Boston University student is accused of murdering a 26-year-old masseuse he met on the listing site—Connecticut's Attorney General called for Craigslist to get rid of the photos in the "erotic services" section, hire staff to screen the ads and fine users who violate the terms of service. But founder Craig Newmark has no plans to do any of that. Read More... Posted Apr 27 2009, 10:41 AM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: craigslist, pictures, murder, personals, boston university, craigslist killer, philip markoff, flagging, erotic services, craig newmark, craigslist murders

• Scanner Roundtable: Sugar Daddies (and Mamas)... Would You?

  I often joke about getting a sugar daddy, but underneath the humor lies some honest interest. Making a career out of freelance writing, I've sort-of condemned myself to a life of poverty, or near poverty anyway. I live paycheck to paycheck, pay my bills late most of the time and am not ashamed to admit I like to buy things—clothes, shoes, nice dinners. And the idea of a sugar daddy sounds sort-of great, doesn't it? Especially in this economy. Getting my bills paid, not having to worry about how anyone is going to finance a car for me with my terrible credit, all the clothes I want... and all in return for just showing an old man a good time? Sure, maybe it's a little like prostitution, but like I've always said, any mutually beneficial agreement between to consensual adults should remain between those two consensual adults. Read More... Posted Apr 24 2009, 01:41 PM by Emily Farris with | with 6 comment(s) Filed under: dating, scanner roundtable, the economy, relationships, sean connery, craigslist, ads, recession, sugar daddy, the recession, injuries, debt, sugar mama, medical bills, seekingarrangement.com, credit cards

• Livin' Large on Craigslist

  We can't imagine that anyone is jumping at the chance to meet a pathetic weirdo on Craigslist these days, what with the Craigslist murder and all, but no one can deny that times are tough. So, if you're looking for a place to live or an exotic getaway for "free" look no further than the New York City section of the site. We've rounded up a few of the best "freebies" after the jump. Read More... Posted Apr 22 2009, 02:51 PM by Emily Farris with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: craigslist, ads, cheap apartments in new york, cheap apartments, seeking arrangements in new york, arrangements, living arrangements, seeking arrangement, creeps, craigslist murder

• We F-ing Hate That There is F-ing Nude F-ing Hipster Grifter Sh*t We Can F-ing Get Behind

  We know you're sick to death of hearing about Kari Farrell, the hipster grifter, who conned men out of money and Vice into giving her a job (and showed us her boobs). Well, either you're sick to death of hearing about her or you're wishing you would have gotten some from her, even if it meant she ran off with your money. If you're of the former mindset, you, like us, really don't want to see all of this damn hipster grifter paraphernalia. Unless you, like us, really like one of her tattoos and are thinking of getting one of your own and might try it out as a t-shirt for a while.  Read More... Posted Apr 22 2009, 10:29 AM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: boobs, dating, tattoos, craigslist, t-shirts, pictures, online dating, hipsters, beards, Vice Magazine, pictures of boobs, scanner emily loves bearded men, scams, vice, hipster grifter, Kari ferrell, langhorne slim, kari ferrel, paraphernalia

• Sloppy Seconds: Stripper Fight

  According to Jezebel, the love letter is dead but the breakup e-mail is strong with this generation. Michelle Rodriguez from Lost flipped out at a wedding-- if you believe this nonsense story. But what happens when the pants come off? Push-up underwear for men isn't expected to go over big with Croatian women. Read More... Posted Apr 21 2009, 06:21 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: michelle rodriguez, stripper, sloppy seconds, underwear, fox news, spoof, craigslist, connecticut, jezebel, seinfeld, wedding, paternity, blake fielder civil, arrested, love letters, porno, murderers, strip club, drunk drivers, killing, croatia

• Look at This F-ing Email From This F-ing Nude Hipster Grifter

  When the Hipster Grifter, Kari Ferrell, popped up on Scanner today we thought she looked familiar. And we thought, "I want to give you a handjob with my mouth" sounded way too familiar. Then we remembered that our friend had posted a Craigslist ad looking for a date to the Langhorne Slim concert a few weeks ago and an Asian girl with chest tattoos had responded to it and used that exact line. We opened up the email (that he had forwarded us, because we always forward each other our online dating prospects) to compare the tats. And we were right. Full text of the email after the jump. Read More... Posted Apr 20 2009, 04:53 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: boobs, dating, craigslist, online dating, hipsters, Vice Magazine, pictures of boobs, scams, vice, hipster grifter, Kari ferrell, langhorne slim, kari ferrel

• I Owe You a Good Leg Humping

  Hey, Scanners. Thanks to all of your votes, my missed connection won the Missed Tees t-shirt contest, which means I'm $200 richer and I owe you a good leg humping. It also means you can buy my t-shirt, printed on American Apparel of course, at the ridiculously cheap price of $13 (see? everything is cheaper in the Midwest) and for the rest of eternity, I get 10% of every sale. So if you buy it, it's almost like you're my sugar daddy, or mama. [Missed Tees] Related: "My dog humped your leg. I wanted to." I Still Want to Hump Your Leg Posted Apr 16 2009, 12:17 PM by Emily Farris with | with 6 comment(s) Filed under: contests, missed connection, craigslist, american apparel, scanner emily, money, kansas city, sugar daddy, clothes, stuff, missed tees, my dog humped your leg, tshirts, sugar mama, cheap, i wanted to, buying stuff

• More of the Best of "The Best of Craiglist"

  It's hard to believe it's been almost ten years since Craig's List officially took over the internet. Craig Newmark's baby has long since proved its staying power and questions about its eventual demise are considered silly since no end appears to be in sight. Another sign of its vitality is the continuing presence of wacky, original posts showcasing North America's admirable ability to not always take itself so seriously. These few posts prove the site will always be ridiculous, bizarre, unfiltered, and entirely readable... if only in the "Best of" section, which thankfully weeds out the dick pics and political maniacs. First, a personal ad that makes us wish we were lesbians... Read More... Posted Apr 14 2009, 03:43 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: marriage, wtf, internet, craigslist, nudity, funny, Wisconsin, wedding, gay sex, streakers, washington dc, hotel sex, toronto, Craigslist ad, sfw, naked men, montreal

• Today in WTF: An Omegle Love Connection?

  O, hai. Have we missed the point of Omegle, the site that lets you talk to strangers without even signing up? We thought it was to have a random chat with no strings, no worrying about what you say, no... nothing? But apparently, like every other aspect of our lives, we are still worse at finding love than everyone else on the planet. Or at least we're worse than this Chicago girl, who thinks she may have found her special someone on Omegle. Read More... Posted Apr 06 2009, 01:18 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: missed connection, wtf, craigslist, chat, Chicago, kansas city, today in wtf, kansas city is in missouri dot com, kansas city missouri, kcmo, omegle, pokemon, chat with strangers, looking for love in all the wrong places, sexy chat

• Support a Scanner or Two

  There are certainly beggars on the street who earn more in a day than Scanner Emily and I will today. And with that, a little begging: won't you vote for Scanner Emily's missed connection so she can win $200? She needs an average of 10 stars and right now she's up to 9. That one literally takes one second to do.  My favor takes more like 30 seconds, but the stakes are so much higher: if I get around 500 more votes in this photography contest by Friday, I'll be in the top 20, then will hopefully be selected to win $50K! The contest is called Name Your Dream Assignment, and here's mine: Main Street, Exiled: Disappearing Downtowns. You just have to sign in with a real email to prove you're not a robot, then click on PIC IT to vote. Thanks lovies!  Related:  "My dog humped your leg. I wanted to." I Still Want to Hump Your Leg Posted Mar 31 2009, 02:23 PM by Colleen Kane with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: craigslist, scanner emily, shilling, photography, humping, dog, contest, scanner colleen, missed connections, begging, we are poor

• This is Where Prostitution Might Move Once Kicked Off Craigslist

  I saw a commercial for a mating service called Online Booty Call, and at first thought it was a joke. Nope! 'Tis real. It's probably no different from Adult Friend Finder, but still...that name! It's just all right out in the open, isn't it? And to see it advertised on TV was a bit surprising.  A quick visit without joining reveals the above graphic done in Terrence- and- Philip- style animation, Booty Call Commandments, customer testimonials, and rather average-looking members with entertaining poses or user names... Read More... Posted Mar 12 2009, 11:01 AM by Colleen Kane with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: internet dating, internet, craigslist, online dating, adult friend finder, booty call, sext message, online booty call, hooking up

• Sloppy Seconds: Tyra's Abusive Relationship

  Ovarian cancer, which is known as the silent killer because it's so hard to detect in early stages, killed 15,000-plus women in the US last year. But now, doctors are a step closer to developing a way to screen for it. [Us News & World Report] Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams, who just got engaged last month, supposedly married in Savannah, GA this week. [People] Gisele would like her new husband Tom Brady to put a baby in her. Right now. [Us] Read More... Posted Mar 11 2009, 06:47 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: marriage, sloppy seconds, babies, gisele, rihanna, Tyra Banks, teenagers, craigslist, ads, talk shows, models, writers, engagements, abusive relationships, Tom Brady, mandy moore, domestic violence, making babies, ryan adams, 2009, caffeine, football players, screening, chris brown, wednesday, ovarian cancer, cancer screening, march 11, domestic abuse, stories

• Sloppy Seconds: Crazy Baby Lady Even Crazier Than We Thought

  The sheriff's department in Chicago's Cook County is suing Cralgslist, claiming the site is the largest source of prostitution in the United States. Um, yeah? [SunTimes] Dare we pick up Jonathan Littell's 1,000-page Nazi-centered novel "The Kindly Ones" which "manages to be a near-masterpiece of historical fiction and at the same time a bloated, overlong masturbatory fantasia of sex and violence?" We just might. [Yahoo!] Even Facebook is Twittering now. Sort of. [InformationWeek] Read More... Posted Mar 05 2009, 07:51 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: porn, prostitution, angelina jolie, sloppy seconds, masturbation, lawsuits, facebook, literature, craigslist, suicide, Nazis, twitter, novels, 2009, nadya suleman, march 5, crazy baby ladies, historical fiction, changeling, missing children, craig's list, cook county, 9-1-1, jonathan littell

• Stay Classyfied: Seeking Elderly Couples For A New Comedy Game Show!

  VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: Are you old? Do you want to possibly be humiliated? Then you'll love this opportunity... Read More... Posted Feb 27 2009, 02:35 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: craigslist, blogs, old people, nerve.com, the remote island, nerve blogs, game shows

• Bearded Men On Craig's List: Or, How We'll Get Scanner Emily To Move Back To NYC

  We're recovering from public nudity burnout after this morning's news and for some idiotic reason, decided that a sane refuge would be the Craig's List Missed Connection section. Based on what we've come across in the w4m section, a mysterious brand of man has taken over the city of New Amsterdam... Read More... Posted Feb 24 2009, 02:42 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: dating, rock and roll, warren zevon, music, missed connection, New York City, craigslist, scanner emily, bearded men, jim james, my morning jacket, relationship, bearded man of the week, beards are sexy, bearded men with bellies, beard vs. beard

• Hooking is the New Teacher Scandal

  Let's blame the economy for this, too: Teachers wishing to commit a crime have caught on to not give it away for free to students, when they can turn a trick and turn a quick buck. Only in the unfortunate case of Ohio teacher Amber Carter, it led to a felony charge. Read More... Posted Feb 12 2009, 11:22 AM by Colleen Kane with | with no comments Filed under: prostitution, craigslist, teacher sex, ohio buckeyes, crime doesn't pay, felony, super 8, blame the economy, teacher scandal, amber carter

• We're Just Not That Into... The Outdoor Lovemap

  The Outdoor Lovemap is the "international guide to places to make love outdoors." Unfortunately, "international" does not equal "ultimate." While it's a good idea in theory, it's a little, uh, sparse. When we typed in our zip code, the closest result was the St. Louis Zoo, which is, like, 250 miles away. But we can think of plenty of beautiful outdoor spaces within walking distance where we could make sexy time. We'll stick with the map that at least helps us find someone to hook up with and take care of finding a place to do it on our own. Related: What's (Er Who's) Going Down In Your Hood? Teenage Sexual Awakening Via Google Maps and Polaroids Look Both Ways Before Walking The Streets, 'Cause Google Maps Might Be Watching Posted Feb 09 2009, 03:28 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: craigslist, missouri, brooklyn, casual encounters, kansas city, kansas city is in missouri, google maps, he's just not that into you, hook ups, st. louis, nixa missouri, maps, nixa, greenpoint, hook up maps, st. louis zoo, sex outdoors, we're just not that into, outdoor sex, 64111, 500 miles, google maps mashups, we're just not that into..., outdoor lovemap, 250 miles

• Website Tracks the Worst Personal Ads From Desperate Dudes

  Why Women Hate Men is another one of these websites/blogs designed by guys who are trying to impress women by how much they, too, "despise all the loser single dudes out there so pick me pick me!"  We must point out that, like all men, the individual purporting to be this site's webmaster is a dangerous degenerate. And if you think I'm being sarcastic or "humorous," you are sadly, sadly mistaken. (See above photo of owner for explanation.) See the horrifying evidence, after the jump.... Read More... Posted Feb 05 2009, 06:32 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: dating, viagra, relationships, breakups, craigslist, website of the day, we are dumb and possibly lazy, Craigslist ad, erectile dysfunction, ex-girlfriends, sfw, girlfriends, erect penises, ex-boyfriends, personal ads, relationship, craigs list

• Single Ladies (Put a Used Ring on It)

  While there are a few things we will always buy new (vibrators!), these days, we're getting most everything second hand: furniture ($50 Craigslist couch!), clothes and cookware (vintage Pyrex!). And if we ever got engaged, we imagine we wouldn't mind a second-hand ring, especially if we could verify that said ring had a conflict-free diamond. So when someone from I Do Now I Don't—an eBay-like auction site for wedding and engagement rings—wrote us, we thought it was a great idea. Sellers post their rings and bidders get better-than-retail prices. But then superstition kicked in and we wondered why anyone would want to wear a ring from a broken marriage or engagement. Read More... Posted Feb 04 2009, 11:24 AM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: vibrators, craigslist, ebay, shopping, pyrex, recession, websites, online jewelry auctions, getting engaged during a recession, getting married during a recession, conflict-free diamonds, karat diamonds, having babies during a recession, karats, what is a karat, affordable engagement rings, used jewelry, weddings during a recession, affordable wedding rings, i do know I don't, fairly-traded diamonds, wedding ring auctions, how big is a karat, jewelry auctions, used rings, conflict-free engagement rings, buy engagement rings, engagement ring auctions, what size karat should i get, how to tell how many karats are in a diamond, recession shopping, buy wedding rings, recessionistas

• Girl Claims to Have Slept With 200+ Strangers, Thanks to Craig's List

  We say: "Is that all?" Just kidding-- we don't sleep with strangers, as a rule, so this specie is baffling to us... Read More... Posted Feb 02 2009, 02:05 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: craigslist, england, bars, great britain, anonymous sex, anonymous, sex life, Craigslist ad, craigs list

• Sloppy Seconds: Ted Haggard Speaks

  President Barack Obama (we love typing that!) overturned the Global Gag Rule today. [NYT]  We're not ones to let a little salmonella come between us and peanut butter, so we ate our peanut butter sandwich Girl Scout cookies before we even knew they were safe. [The Republican] Also, we spent too much time on Craigslist today, but we found these gems: This Kansas City gent wants a skinny girl, the kind other girls hate because she's so skinny. But only if "U R asked by other people if you have an eating disorder." [Craigslist Kansas City] Read More... Posted Jan 23 2009, 06:41 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: sloppy seconds, relationships, facebook, HBO, craigslist, sex, friday, Ted Haggard, gay sex, sex scandal, kansas city, crystal meth, girl scouts, cookies, meth, austin, scandal, 2009, too thin, girl scout cookies, thin mints, skinny girls, corpus christi, salmonella, january 23, peanut butter, peanut butter sandwiches, bad spellers, gay sex scandal, skinny women, peanut butter girl scout cookies

• Hey, Cheap Rent! Oh, Wait... The Fine Print Is Pretty Insane...

  How many of you would move to Manhattan if you landed an apartment for less than $3,000 a month? Now, how many of you would take the place if it was in the happening East Village for $325, rent stabilized? Put your hands down, because as you may have suspected, this one's a ripoff even at those prices... Read More... Posted Jan 02 2009, 09:45 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: marriage, scary, New York City, craigslist, rent, apartments, money, couples, roommates, sex life, Breakup of the Week, extra-marital affair, cheaters, Craigslist ad, younger men, breakup

• RIP Newspapers

  We apologize for yet another Daily Show segment, but this short video seems to wrap up the fate of gray paper with words printed on it. Take a moment of silence in your blog hopping out of respect for the death of palpable journalism then laugh at this funny video. Read More... Posted Dec 10 2008, 12:50 PM by Scanner Matt with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: new york, new york times, politics, craigslist, daily news, comedy central, new york post, journalism lite, jon stewart, colbert report, newspapers, chicago tribune, print journalism, fate of newspapers, daily show with jon stewart, chicago tribune bankrupt, c.c. sabthia new york yankees, soulth park

• Filmmaker Skips the Glass Eye, Goes Straight for the Webcam

  This is by far the creepiest, and coolest, thing we've heard of in a long time. Rob Spence, a filmmaker, has one prosthetic eye. But instead of some fake eye, he'd rather have a web cam put in that socket. Read More... Posted Dec 05 2008, 05:01 PM by Emily Farris with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: craigslist, Los Angeles, hidden cameras, artists, prosthetics, san francisco, prosthetic eyes, eyeborg, tanya vlach, cyborgs, glass eyes, fake eyes, strap on, web cam eyes, prosthetic parts, camera installed in an eye socket, fake body parts, filmmaker, rob spence, filmmaker who wants a web cam for an eye, sex with fake body parts

• "Step Right Up! Enter Our Prostitution Raffle..."

  An adviser at Ohio State was arrested in his friend's home for organizing and operating a $10-a-ticket raffle for a night with a young prostitute.  This is one of those stories that just improves with every emerging detail... Read More... Posted Dec 02 2008, 02:44 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: police, sports, craigslist, college, children, stupid, arrested, ohio, sexual abuse, prostitute, Craigslist ad, university, sex acts, coed

• While You Were Sleeping: Who's #1 on Yahoo?

  Our server had some issues this morning, but we're up and running now... A woman showed her daughter's friend how to have sex. You know, liberal-sex-ed style. Did you miss Hillary Clinton's historic moment? Darwin couldn't be happier: two guys stole a car, got into a shootout with the po-po, and ended up in a high-speed chase on the wrong side of the highway, where they rammed another car head on. The other car? Read More... Posted Dec 02 2008, 10:07 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: britney spears, hillary clinton, sex scandals, craigslist, yahoo, history, sex scenes, sex, penis, cars, darwin awards, Ray Winstone, fantasty, stealing, colorado, while you were sleeping, teenage boys, teenage sex, nigeria, mother and daughter, jaime winstone

• Sloppy Seconds: The Craigslist Crackdown on Hookers

  The awesome sounding Ghostbusters game, featuring the original cast and creators, will be out in 2009, thanks to Atari, who rescued the franchise. A heartbreaking post from a lesbian mom in California is here. Madonna, meanwhile, attacked Prop 8 in an LA concert and had Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake perform live with her, albeit at separate times. A male major in the Japanese air force was busted for shopping for women's underwear... Read More... Posted Nov 07 2008, 04:53 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: britney spears, japan cannot be stopped, kanye west, babies, underwear, hookers, gay marriage, craigslist, japan, Bill Clinton, concerts, pregnancy, Los Angeles, justin timberlake, breasts, madonna, surgery, video game, california, california gay marriage, breast cancer, japanese, christina applegate, Craigslist ad, naked man, california gay marriage ban, west virginia, ghostbusters, births, samantha who, human trafficking, michelle monaghan, beatles