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• While You Were Sleeping: James Franco and Sean Penn Go At It

  Doris Lessing, our Hero In Residence, on the teen pregnancy "craze": "I hear girls saying, 'Oh I'm not going to bring a child into this wicked world,' which means they are going to be pregnant next week." Happy 47th to Barack Obama yesterday. Unfortunately, his staff lost their big present to him. The Eva Mendes Calvin Klein ad has been banned from TV... Read More... Posted Aug 05 2008, 09:39 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: Lost, Barack Obama, james franco, cars, cnn, celebrities, doris lessing, sean penn, morgan freeman, actors, acting, car accident, montreal, iggy pop

• Sloppy Seconds: Poor Bernie Mac, Morgan Freeman, and... OJ?

  A man is in jail in Florida after calling 911 twice to complain about an incorrect sandwich order. We just can't picture it: Liv Tyler wants to launch her singing career.  In other news on this busy day... Read More... Posted Aug 04 2008, 06:04 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: China, health, engaged, celebrities, reese witherspoon, jake gyllenhaal, liv tyler, 911

• Morgan Freeman Seriously Injured In Major Car Accident

  Morgan Freeman is in serious condition following a devastating car wreck last night in Mississippi. The latest details, according to CNN, Google, and other sources...   Read More... Posted Aug 04 2008, 01:48 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: cars, cnn, celebrities, hospital, morgan freeman, actors, acting, car accident, Breaking News

• We Leaned Over A Fence In France To Snap These Photos Of... People Magazine's Photos Of The Jolie-Pitt Twins

  We spent our weekend in France, getting a $6 million set of photos by leaning over Angelina Jolie's fence. When it was done, we celebrated with a bottle of '51 Chelivouvelet and toasted to our v-- No, we didn't think you'd buy that. The truth is, we had to wait till People Magazine posted their cover shot like everybody else...  Read More... Posted Aug 04 2008, 11:41 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: babies, people magazine, brad pitt, france, paparazzi, celebrities, money, angelina joile, baby pictures

• Video of the Day: McCain's Running Mate?

  John McCain's ad attacking Obama for being a "celebrity" was hilarious because McCain's people had to then scramble to remove every reference to McCain's "fame" and "celebrity" from his campaign website. Read More... Posted Aug 04 2008, 10:19 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: politics, video of the day, britney spears, paris hilton, advertisements, Barack Obama, youtube, john McCain, celebrities

• Scanner Highs And Lows: Toplessness On Parade

  This week we highlighted the world's growing insanity, lawlessness, and preponderance for rampant public nudity... Read More... Posted Aug 01 2008, 05:27 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: porn, amy winehouse, relationships, highs and lows, porn stars, celebrities, scanner highs and lows, topless photos, topless model, parades

• 8 Honest (But Photoshopped) Celebrity Memoir Covers

  Celebrities have this nasty habit of writing autobiographies that really read more like a James Frey memoir. Holy Taco took it upon themselves to put mock up some covers for celebrity autobiographies that are, well, a little more truthful.   Read More... Posted Aug 01 2008, 12:16 PM by Verena von Pfetten with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: celebrities, mel gibson, mario lopez, celebrity biographies, celebrity books, ac slater, manny ramirez, stedman

• The Top 5 Hollywood Players Who Did Porn

  The Frisky has a new list out, this time running down ten former porn stars or porn makers who have gone on to bigger (though, in most cases, not at all better) things. We narrowed the list to five for several reasons, including the fact that theirs includes actual current porn stars (Tracy Lords doesn't count either.) Although we didn't leave out #5... did you know about the kid from The Christmas Story?! Read More... Posted Aug 01 2008, 09:45 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: Burt Reynolds, the seventies, tits and ass, porn stars, celebrities, cosmopolitan, nude photos, Dita Von Teese, thora birch, titanic, sylvester stallone, naked men

• Tom Cruise As Don Corleone

  Don't worry, we're not talking about the Godfather Part IV. It's actually the basis of a major, 250-million-dollar federal racketeering suit against the Church of Scientology that names Tom Cruise as the Don Vito of the modern era... Read More... Posted Jul 31 2008, 04:50 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: movies, crime, tom cruise, florida, celebrities, gays, Oprah, cults, lawsuit, mafia

• Vanity Fair's Best Dressed List: Perfect or Pathetic?

  The 2008 Vanity Fair International Best-Dressed list includes Ivanka Trump, Michelle Obama, and 8 other classy ladies, plus ten gentlemen, fashion professionals, couples, and more... Are they missing anyone? Should Ivanka been vetoed for her mere affiliation with the Donald? And just who in blazes is  Count Manfredi Della Gherardesca? He sounds like Don Novello's replacement character for Father Guido Sarducci, and no, that wasn't mean to be derogatory. Fill us in, after the jump... Read More... Posted Jul 31 2008, 09:28 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: fashion, anderson cooper, george clooney, saturday night live, fashion shows, brad pitt, demi moore, victoria beckham, david beckham, project runway, ashton kutcher, nicolas sarkozy, carla bruni, Lenny Kravitz, celebrities, SNL, angelina joile, vanity fair, Donald Trump, michelle obama, renee zellweger, tilda swinton, princess, ivanka trump, damon dash, tiki barber

• While You Were Sleeping: Madonna's Breakdown?

  This creepy Boy Scout leader was charged with six sex offenses. Guess what they involved? FoxNews and other sources are confirming the John Edwards Love Child story, with the former ready to present an interview with a hotel security guard who will allegedly back up the Enquirer's shock saga. A model is facing four years in prison after riding bareback (and bare-ass) on a horse... with the Peru national flag as a saddle. Lindsay Lohan had a rough weekend: first, she had a panic attack when a mob of fans surrounded her at Sam's DJing gig. Then, early Saturday morning, she was clipped by a motorcycle while crossing an intersection... Read More... Posted Jul 28 2008, 08:49 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: politics, sperm, hillary clinton, marriage, amy winehouse, love child, john edwards, john McCain, celebrities, prison, models, madonna, drunk driving, Wisconsin, wedding, arrested, extra-marital affair, democrat, Italian, shia labeouf, dui, mafia, car accident

• Eva Mendes Calvin Klein Photos Almost As Good As Having Friday Off

  Every company in the United States is in a meeting right now, saying, "Why didn't we think of this first?" Read More... Posted Jul 25 2008, 05:16 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: movies, underwear, eva mendes, model, lingerie, celebrities, calvin klein, sexy photos

• Somebody Wants To Invade Our Vaginas

  At around 5:00pm Eastern time yesterday, we received a very disturbing e-mail. We're not even sure who to report this to-- the New York Times, perhaps? Naw, we're probably just overreacting, but like George W. Bush and his friendly Terror Alert System, we take every threat seriously, so seriously that an unattended and empty McDonald's cup is a danger to the Freedom (fries) of Mankind... Sorry, we're getting carried away. Perhaps, like we said, we're overreacting to this latest threat...  Read More... Posted Jul 25 2008, 08:52 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: politics, amy winehouse, george clooney, spam, internet, Heroes, Barack Obama, violence, brad pitt, sex, vagina, john McCain, celebrities, rape, jon stewart, e-mail, iran war

• Scanner Highs and Lows: Is That a Hot Dog in Your Pocket or Are You Just Happy to See Us?

  Because we're happy to see you, too... Read More... Posted Jul 03 2008, 04:35 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: tattoos, sex, highs and lows, penis, celebrities, albums, clusterfuck, erections, penises, pete wentz, hot dogs, scanner highs and lows, areolas, music camp, sexy music

• Shocker: Bill Clinton Has Extramarital Affairs

  We haven't heard from the President of the United States in a while. (No, not including George Bush-- the person last elected President was Bill Clinton.) While his wife is wrapping up her campaign with a final 24 hour push, concluding sometime around midnight this evening, Bill himself has been plenty busy. Busy getting busy, that is, at least according to anonymous sources and speculation on Defamer, via Vanity Fair.  [F]our former Clinton aides told me that, about 18 months ago, one of the president's former assistants, who still advises him on political matters, had heard so many complaints about such reports from Clinton supporters around the country that he felt compelled to try... an "intervention..." "Clinton was apparently seeing a lot of women on the road." One of those women was apparently the Los Angeles-based star of one of Nerve's top sex scenes, and the hottest lesbian one this side of Mulholland Drive... name that movie star and sex symbol! Read More... Posted Jun 03 2008, 02:41 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: hillary clinton, sex scandals, Bill Clinton, mile high club, celebrities, Democrats, lesbian sex scenes, extramarital affairs, gina gershon, nude photos, bound, presidents, jennifer tilly, nerve sex scenes

• Two Celebs We Haven't Heard From in a While Suck Face in Public

  One is famous for his smashing good looks, acting abilities and for being a man slut. The other is famous for being the daughter of someone famous and doing stuff that non-famous people do to be famous.  Maybe they were both in need of some press? We've been known to make out with random people just because we hadn't made out with anyone in a while, but maybe in Hollywood it goes a little something like this: HIM: "I have a movie coming out. I need to make out with a girl. That one over there hasn't been in the tabloids in a while, I bet she'd do it." HER: "Making out with him over there would get me some press. And I'm really only famous because I get press for not being very famous." So what two celebs make up the lucky couple? Read More... Posted May 20 2008, 03:06 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: making out, celebrities

• Scanner Highs and Lows: We See London, We See France, We See Everyone's Everything

  Spring must really be in the air, because we saw everybody's everything this week—including some we wish we hadn't. Read More... Posted May 16 2008, 05:42 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: boobs, lily allen, highs and lows, celebrities, angelina joile

• Top 10 Celebrity Pets

  On April 12, Martha Stewart announced the heart-breaking news that her beloved dog Kublai Khan Paw Paw Chow Chow Chow had passed away (Check the perfectly tied ribbon on the doggie body bag). Paw Paw, may you rest in peace and receive a slightly less humiliating name in the afterlife. Martha’s news brought to mind some of the other pets who share the limelight with their celebrity owners. And so, a list was born: the Top 10 Celebrity Pets. You can tell a lot about a person by his or her pet, be it garishly groomed, pathetically spoiled and puppy-farmed (Ahem—Tinkerbell), or unique and adorable. Since we’ve already covered number 10-- Kublai Khan Paw Paw Chow Chow Chow, we’ll move on to the rest of the list. Read More... Posted Apr 23 2008, 04:51 PM by Nicole Pasulka with | with no comments Filed under: britney spears, paris hilton, jessica biel, george clooney, snoop dogg, nicole richie, celebrities, martha stewart, jake gyllenhaal, celebrity pets, jennifer aniston

• The Last Days of Chris Farley

  "Heidi was hired for Farley by a friend for $2,000. She joined Farley at a party in Lincoln Park (in Chicago) at 11 AM. There were drugs going around..." Read More... Posted Apr 03 2008, 11:30 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: dead people, drugs, saturday night live, celebrities, SNL, drug addiction, heroin, Chicago, lorne michaels, chevy chase, patrick swayze, david spade, chris farley

• April Fools: The Prankster's Prankster

  He goofed on the Queen of England. He had the media following "Michael Jackson" and his bizarre antics for days. He Punk'd Ashton Kutcher and Bruce Willis. He violated Wal-Mart. And he proved Charles Manson is a better person than Angelina Jolie. John Hargrave is a man for all April Fool's Days... Read More... Posted Apr 01 2008, 12:30 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: michael jackson, oprah winfrey, Bono, demi moore, ashton kutcher, parodies, england, comedians, celebrities, bruce willis, angelina joile, punk'd, pranks, charles manson

• Woody Allen Sues American Apparel For Exposing His Jewish Heritage

  Woody Allen is suing American Apparel for a billboard that steals an image of him for their own nefarious purposes. As other sources have pointed out, AA usually gets served for its founder's constant sexual harassment of staff members and models and for his hilariously bad taste. This time, it's because of an ad above a Los Angeles K & K's Donuts, seen after the jump... Read More... Posted Apr 01 2008, 11:30 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: movies, advertisements, piracy, american apparel, scarlett johansson, hollywood, woody allen, celebrities, media, jewish, sexual harassment, billboards

• Celebrity Ink: Angelina Jolie's Tattoos Look Really Great Next to Her Breasts

  Tattoos: you're either like Scanner Emily and you love them, or like Scanner Brian and think they're "distracting." Maybe you're somewhere in between, and want one, but can't commit to anything just yet. We've found the two easiest things in life to commit to are tattoos and cats, so maybe just go for it? Either way, US Weekly rounds up some celebrity tattoos (and we show you ours) to help you decide. Exhibit A: LiLo. We're kind-of "enh" on that one, but we're kind-of "enh" on LilLo these days.  We've always thought Angelina Jolie's tattoos were nice, and they look even better right next to her beautiful cleavage. Exhibit B: Read More... Posted Mar 26 2008, 11:17 AM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: lindsay lohan, tattoos, sienna miller, brad pitt, scanner emily, celebrities, angelina joile, Jude Law, ink

• Starpulse's Celebs Who Should Go Nude: Who's Missing?

  Eva Longoria's obvious. For those of you into that kind of thing, apparently Milo Ventimigla is on their list as well. But what about who was left to languish in the slums of decency? PLUS: We vote for Scarlett Johansson, here depicted in the hottest photo ever. Read More... Posted Mar 21 2008, 02:15 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 6 comment(s) Filed under: movies, jessica biel, jessica alba, brad pitt, sex scenes, Eva Longoria, Daniel Craig, scarlett johansson, celebrities, nude photos, thandie newton, taye diggs, nude scenes, james marsden, amy adams

• Sloppy Seconds: The Truth About Tori Spelling

  Finally, someone with some ethics is stopping all this celebrity snooping-- not that we're going to. Staffers at UCLA Medical Center in L.A. had the pain brought to them when it was revealed employees had been illegally accessing Britney Spears's records. At long last, the breaking news you've been waiting for: Gary Busey apologizes for giving mouth-to-mouth rescucitation to Jennifer Garner's neck during the Oscars. His excuse: "I got very excited." We thought it was pretty exciting ourselves-- we didn't know our testicles could so quickly retract into our stomachs. Read More... Posted Mar 17 2008, 05:20 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: britney spears, sloppy seconds, music, jennifer garner, oscars, condoleezza rice, brian fairbanks, celebrities, Los Angeles, 90210 Beverly Hills, tori spelling, gary busey, bruce springsteen

• Shocker: Tom Cruise And Katie Holmes Marriage A Sham!

  A former member of the cult of Scientologists has outed Tom Cruise! Okay, not in that way... but tipster Marc Headley, formerly of L. Ron Hubbard's alternate universe, has been speaking to the press, confirming the rumors we know to be true about Tom's marriage to Katie Holmes... Read More... Posted Mar 10 2008, 11:00 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: gay, marriage, sex, tom cruise, katie holmes, Liars, scarlett johansson, scientology, bisexuality, celebrities

• Dolly Parton In Weight Gain Scandal

  After years of gaining and losing weight at a wilder rate than Jared from Subway, Dolly Parton has agreed to cease and desist and simply let the pounds pile on. Read More... Posted Mar 05 2008, 01:00 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: Dolly Parton, celebrities, weight gain, starpulse, weight loss

• Eva Mendes Having A Helluva Day

  It's hard to find an unflattering photo of Eva Mendes, without question one of the hottest women on the planet and, therefore, in America. But it really hasn't been her day: even though she's just been announced as the new face of Calvin Klein Fragrances, it turns out she's actually been in rehab for several weeks! I guess TMZ and the rest of the gossip rags have been too busy jumping into Britney's car and engaging in wild orgies to pay Eva much attention. But several weeks?! For more on this shocking story, click here. If you just want to see half-naked pictures of the movie star, try here.   Posted Feb 01 2008, 02:40 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: eva mendes, TMZ, celebrities, rehab, drug addiction, gossip, calvin kline

• That Clearinghouse for Viagra Gossip You Ordered Is Finally Here

  Thank God we're currently at our dayjob babysitting Christian pre-K's at the Department of Homeland Security, otherwise we would probably lose hours looking at this amazing webpage linking exclusively to Viagra-centric celebrity gossip. Where'd I Put That Crystal Buttplug? Yanni's ex-girlfriend tells all about the New Age muzak guru's kinks, sex toy collection, and his jones for Viagra. Normally we do this in a parenthesis, but seriously: thank you, "News"! You're directly responsible for bringing the first smile to our face since yesterday. [Img via ICanHasCheezburger]  Posted Jan 23 2008, 02:07 PM by Bryan Christian with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: viagra, celebrities, yanni, crystal buttplugs