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• Take Him to Detroit: America's 11 Most Depressing Places

  This really ain't Michigan's week, is it? First, some dumbass ex-Mayor was arrested for having an extramarital affair in the middle of the street. Then, we made a mean joke about the Detroit Free Press and it's sex advice column, complete with a newspaper headline that says, "Detroit Blows." Now, comes word that Business Insider is further driving down the state's property values by including two MI cities on its list of the most depressing places in America. Cheer up and enjoy this sprightly little list... Read More... Posted May 14 2009, 03:46 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: dating, lists, cars, funny, florida, michigan, michael moore, travel, kansas, detroit, arizona, top 10, indiana, georgia, illinois, california, cities, auto industry bailout, auto industry

• Masturbate-A-Thon 2009 Champion One Horny Dude

  Did any of our Bay Area readers attend the 2009 Masturbate-A-Thon last week? We would've been there, but we were too busy getting laid-- ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha. Seriously, some guy named Masanobu Sato shattered his previous record for longest solo jerk at the annual event, with a cringe-inducing total of... Read More... Posted May 12 2009, 04:14 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: spank material, japan cannot be stopped, masturbation, japan, orgasms, masturbating, masturbation material, san francisco, masturbation month, california, virgin

• While You Were Sleeping: Sexually Incriminating Information

  Now you know why we voted for him (at least in part): Obama is redirecting all of the abstinence-only money, some $138 million, to the actually-effective methods of sex ed. Agree with almost every word of this list of the thirteen people/things that ruined it for everyone else, although Jersey could only have been helped by a show as great as the Sopranos. Fleshbot makes a case for those Rihanna photos-- the ones her people are so upset about-- being fakes... Read More... Posted May 12 2009, 11:17 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: oprah winfrey, rihanna, Barack Obama, fleshbot, sex ed, blogs, florida, journalism, nude photos, abstinence, ellen degeneres, sexual harassment, while you were sleeping, california, charlie crist, the sopranos, sfw, sarah palin, abstinence education, abstinence education in public schools, abstinence pledges, president obama, cute animal photos, deer, susan boyle, wildfire, bobcat, iraqi

• While You Were Sleeping: Sex Tape For Sale

  We were beginning to think he might actually get away with it: Drew Peterson was arrested yesterday and charged with the murder of his third wife.   John Mayer is playing a series of intimate concerts, featuring only his new material, for his staff. Gotta love this guy: A bar owner lit up a cigarette at the Ohio health department as a protest over the bar smoking ban. Of course, to top it off... Read More... Posted May 08 2009, 11:20 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: new york, movies, reality shows, 30 rock, john mayer, Kiefer Sutherland, berlin, concerts, parodies, drew peterson, probation, arrested, songs, Steven Spielberg, germany, murder, Stephanie Seymour, california, murderers, josh brolin, corey feldman, porn parodies, jon gosselin, the goonies, intimacy

• While You Were Sleeping: Mad Men Getting Fired Up

  Arnold Schwarzenegger is considering decriminalizing marijuana altogether in California, possibly for budgetary reasons. One of my celebrity crushes, Bebe Neuwirth, is now married. Dumber-than-that-Carolina-contestant Miss California is in danger of losing her crown... Read More... Posted May 06 2009, 09:53 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: marriage, mad men, rihanna, cross dressers, pregnant, gisele bundchen, 50 Cent, concerts, marijuana, arnold schwarzenegger, New Orleans, sex life, joe biden, california, jennifer hudson, sunglasses, president obama, rick ross, miss california, bebe neuwirth

• Sloppy Seconds: Free Boobs!

  Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has a penchant for pretty women (what politician doesn't?). And it's a source of "suffering" for his wife, Veronica Lario, she wrote in an open letter. [Yahoo!] Simon Cowell joked that he's "secretly in love" with fellow American Idol judge Paula Abdul. And we wouldn't be all that surprised if he jerked off to the "Cold Hearted Snake" video back in the day... or if he still does. [Us] After her double mastectomy, breast cancer survivor Christina Applegate says she still feels sexy, especially because her boyfriend, Dutch bass player Martyn Lenoble loves her "from head to toe." [People] Read More... Posted Apr 29 2009, 07:36 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: boobs, spencer pratt, heidi montag, the hills, sloppy seconds, masturbation, relationships, reality tv, videos, pictures, health, simon cowell, paula abdul, breasts, roommates, mexico, breast implants, jerking off, husbands and wives, homophobia, fake boobs, beauty pageants, politicians, gossip girl, Silvio Berlusconi, california, pageants, breast cancer, viruses, ed westwick, christina applegate, homophobic, cold hearted snake, fake breasts, married... with children, pretty women, bromance, open letters, wednesday, chace crawford, carrie prejean, cohabitation, the swine flu, mastectomy, breast cancer survivor, martyn lenoble, free fake boobs, double mastectomy, cancer survivor, free boobs, dutch, swine flu, april 29, veronica lario, head to toe

• Girls, Girls, Girls: World's Greatest Strip Club Reopens, Is Hiring Hundreds of Broads

  The Body Shop in West Hollywood, California, is the world's top strip club, hands down. It's not about class or style or even decent drink prices. It's about history. All those historic touchstones were burned away thanks to an electrical fire in 2008, but that hasn't ended owner Salah Almudarris' dream of dominating the entire state's strip club market... Read More... Posted Apr 27 2009, 02:15 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: stripper, nsfw, hollywood, naked people, boobies, nude photos, lesbianism, megan fox, topless photos, california, strip club, motley crue

• While You Were Sleeping: Facebook vs. Lesbians

  Don't forget to right-click the links to open them in a new window... The latest victim of Fox is Pedro Almodovar? We wonder why this worm sign fail isn't as common in Louisiana. And, by the way, we had a great first weekend of Jazz Fest. David Letterman wants to see Lauren Conrad's rumored sex tape... Read More... Posted Apr 27 2009, 10:06 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: lesbian, religion, spencer pratt, heidi montag, facebook, sex, scanner brian, madonna, social networking, getting laid, while you were sleeping, california, Google Trends, cell phone, hot sex, 2009, search results, fuck buddies, fuckbook

• The PETA Empire Strikes Back

  After a huge wave of justified negative press raked PETA over the coals last month, the activist organization has launched an all-out campaign blitch to redirect the attention to animal rights. The People For the Ethical Treatment of Animals, it was confirmed, is guilty of euthanizing 90% of the animals in its care every year. Ingrid Newkirk's group (of mostly white American women in their early 20s) struck back this week with Audrina Partridge, Mike Ness of Social Distortion, and a wave of nudity worldwide... Read More... Posted Apr 24 2009, 02:53 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: vegetable, london, PETA, missouri, england, Maryland, kansas city, vegan, protest, activism, nude photos, california, sfw, sexy people, audrina partridge, bikini contest, vegetarian, mcdonalds, audrina partridge nude, peta ads

• Desperate Housewife Calls in the Cops in Nude Photo Blog War

  All week, Real Housewives of Orange County star Gretchen Rossi has been at war with offensive website/blog The Dirty over photos the webmaster has been plastering his pages with. The questionable pics include two of Rossi on the toilet and another of her flashing an unnamed photographer, who happened to be operating a motor vehicle at that moment.  Rossi decided free speech has its limits and called in the sheriff... Read More... Posted Apr 23 2009, 02:10 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: police, TMZ, blogs, peeing, nude photos, desperate housewives, topless photos, california, real housewives, housewives, bimbo eruption, sfw, orange county jail, the dirty

• While You Were Sleeping: Teen Faces Prison For Having An Abortion

  A 27-year-old woman is upset that a 63-year-old man has threatened to post nude photos of her on the internet.  Mia Farrow plans to go on a hunger strike to raise awareness of the crisis in Darfur. This Wal-Mart employee may be the dumbest person alive: he stole a whole bunch of merchandise from the store, then Read More... Posted Apr 22 2009, 09:25 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: video, politics, thievery, college, genius, australia, abortion, children, prison, teenage girls, nude photos, while you were sleeping, supreme court, california, wal-mart, sfw, warrant, miss usa 2009, mia farrow, darfur, asthma

• Joss Stone Had An Ass Slip At Coachella

  Joss Stone, the 22-year-old British soul singer, was added to the lineup of the Coachella just four days prior to her Saturday afternoon performance.  Perhaps she's now regretting not having had enough time to pick out an appropriate outfit for an outdoor peformance on an elevated stage... Read More... Posted Apr 20 2009, 11:08 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: music, concerts, nsfw, vagina, britain, asses, coachella, california, british, sexy people, ass slip, singers, festivals, vagina slip, singer songwriters

• Fired Cheerleading Coach Receiving Support From Unlikely Source

  More than a quarter of a million people read our story last week about Carlie Christine, also known as Carlie Beck or Becker, a cheerleading coach who ruined the lives of so many young innocents by posing for Playboy and then having the damn gall to get busted for it.  Carlie, as you may recall, was fired from her gig at Casa Roble High School after vindictive parents ratted her out-- they were upset that their daughters had skipped school and, therefore, had been kicked off the squad, so they decided to punish the one responsible for following the rules. But the story may not be over yet-- while a lawsuit isn't looking too strong, thanks to that pesky "no going out and doing Playboy behind our backs" clause in the contract she signed, Carlie may not be going gently into that good night... of teaching, that is... Read More... Posted Apr 20 2009, 09:27 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: movies, Cheerleaders, nude photos, california, sfw, cheerleader, scandal, protesters, teacher scandal, cheerleading

• Cheerleading Coach In Hottest Nude Photo Scandal Ever

  Channel 13 in Sacramento claims to have been "up all night" (you'll believe it when you see the photos) working on the story of Carlie Christine, a cheerleading coach at Casa Robles High School, who was outed as a Playboy and internet porn pinup yesterday after she got on the bad side of a bunch of bitchy wannabe cheerleaders. But unlike everyone else foaming at the mouth over this amusing tale of moonlighting gone wrong, we have the photographic evidence to prove it really happened... Read More... Posted Apr 15 2009, 03:20 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 90 comment(s) Filed under: high school, playboy, nsfw, naked people, sex scandal, nude photos, california, playboy bunnies, teacher, cheerleader, high school cheerleader, naked woman, pinup, nude woman, nude photography, teacher scandal, bad parenting, teacher behaving badly

• PETA Names the Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door...

  Back in February, we advised you to vote for PETA's Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door 2009. There were loads of hot men and women in the running, many of them pictured in their underwear with bulges or major cleavage-- but thankfully, never both. The People Eating Tasty Animals People For the Ethical Treatment of Animals have finally announced the winners and they're not who we expected... Read More... Posted Apr 08 2009, 02:26 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: crotch, underwear, neighbor sex, PETA, penis, lingerie, Los Angeles, minnesota, voting, penises, activism, photo essay, california, neighborhood, sexy photos, sexy people, erect penises, minneapolis, animal rights, sexiest, vegetarian, bulge

• Sloppy Seconds: Portia de Rossi Apologizes for Getting Gay Married

  A court in Los Angeles has issued a restraining order against a man who is apparently obsessed with "Dancing With the Stars" contestant and former Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson after he tried to break into the set of the show. [NYT] Newly-single Madonna plans to adopt another Malawian child. [Us] Nicole Kidman has joined the cast of the new Woody Allen film. [Yahoo!] Yet another magazine has folded. Read More... Posted Mar 26 2009, 07:01 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: video, the economy, gay marriage, nicole kidman, adoption, woody allen, madonna, magazines, comedy, dancing with the stars, jimmy kimmel, recession, ellen degeneres, blender, california, portia de rossi, shawn johnson, proposition 8, the recession, sloppy second, restraining order, march 26, malwia, dwts, prop8, malwian child, thursday

• The Gays Won't Save the Economy Either

  Gay couples don't all live in fabulous bungalows in California, spacious lofts in Chelsea or cozy one-bedrooms in Park Slope. Still, many of us, when we imagine the lifestyles of same-sex coupes—especially those who don't have children—think about all of that disposable income they must have. This dear readers, is the "gay affluence myth." While it is true that many gay couples in major metropolitan areas are more well off than their straight counterparts, a new study reports that same-sex families, as a rule are poorer. Read More... Posted Mar 23 2009, 03:11 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: gay, marriage, the economy, gay marriage, poverty, studies, gay couples, insurance, discrimination, recession, benefits, california, chelsea, the recession, same-sex couples, fabulous, park slope, lifestyle, same sex couples, poor

• eBay Removes Kerry Katona's Breast Implant

  Kerry Katona did two things right: one, she went on MTV in the UK and had her 34-double-G's removed. Those fake boobs were ridiculous and very unattractive (to our minds.) The second thing she did was even more inspired-- she autographed one of those implants and put it on eBay for The Breast Cancer Campaign... Read More... Posted Mar 18 2009, 01:04 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: charity, MTV, england, britain, ebay, breast implants, united kingdom, governor, boobies, Europe, california, breast cancer, sfw, meg whitman, kerry katona

• Caption This: Christina Ricci Looks Up to Her Man

  Christina Ricci and her super-tall new fiancé Owen Benjamin stroll through Studio City, CA yesterday. [Image] Posted Mar 18 2009, 11:41 AM by Emily Farris with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: marriage, christina ricci, pictures, caption this, engaged, engagements, images, california, CA, fiancee, fiance, owen benjamin, adams family, studio city

• This Week In Gayness: America vs. Fred Phelps

  Is the fact that many voters know Gavin Newsom as the Mayor who married the gays more likely to help or hurt him with California voters? A former Governor and the current Mayor of Los Angeles both lead the Mayor of San Francisco in early polling. Equality California and Marriage For All, which works on bringing minorities around to the left's view of the discussion, are working behind the scenes to reinforce any ruling in favor of gay marriage in the state. And, of course, they'll continue to work on equal rights regardless of the outcome. Meanwhile, the whole Prop 8 nightmare continues... Read More... Posted Mar 10 2009, 09:44 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: gay marriage, fred phelps, seattle, gay sex, vermont, kansas, this week in gayness, sexual harassment, Gavin Newsom, gay rights, california, 911, prop 8, gay activism, marriage equality

• This Week In Gayness: Sean Penn vs. Arnold Schwarzenegger

  Is former New York City Mayor Ed Koch gay? Does anyone even care at this point? Scariest hate crime suspect of all-time? This guy: "So I killed somebody - that makes me a bad guy?" We're against the death penalty, so let's hope he gets brutally beaten in prison every day for the next fifty years. Lesbians in Massachusetts are suing the US government... Read More... Posted Mar 04 2009, 12:31 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: lesbian, texas, mormons, arnold schwarzenegger, gay sex, focus on the family, civil unions, governor, rape, murder, sean penn, gay bars, milk, illinois, california, closeted, hate crime, prop 8, harvey milk, death penalty

• Sloppy Seconds: Wanda Sykes Says "I Do"

  We usually wait until we have a mid-week lull to watch Flight of the Conchords (On Demand, baby!) but we're going to watch it as soon as we're done writing this post just so we can see the "Garfunkeling" in better quality. Also, why is it that Jemaine is the only one ever getting laid? [Jezebel] A woman who was pulled over for breast-feeding her baby while driving gave a TV interview about it while breast-feeding her baby. She said the baby wasn't willing to wait for the milk at that time (when she was driving, and apparently also when she was giving the interview). Um, okay. [WLFI] Umm... Skittles are now Twittering. Taste the rainbow? (Is this how Twitter is going to make money?) [TechnologyExpert] Read More... Posted Mar 02 2009, 08:11 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: gay, lesbian, lindsay lohan, marriage, angelina jolie, sloppy seconds, divorce, gay marriage, HBO, brad pitt, technology, on demand, twitter, marketing, jennifer aniston, california, breast feeding, bad parents, flight of the conchords, wanda sykes, breastfeeding, prop 8, proposition 8, advertising, 2009, death watch, gay marriage ban in california, breast-feeding, breast-feeding while driving, skittles, child endangerment, brett, bad parenting, garfunkeling, march 2, hbo on demand, simon & garfunkel, car seats, jemaine

• Someone Should Really Name This Johnny Cash Week...

  Pop quiz: two of the most memorable moments in the life of Johnny Cash occurred during the last week of February, one in 1969 and the other in 1932. Can you guess what they are?   Read More... Posted Feb 26 2009, 03:41 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: music, dead people, johnny cash, birthday, concerts, funny, albums, anniversaries, prison, country music, songs, album covers, california, singers, june carter, shel silverstein

• This Drummer Will Be Your Cabana Boy...If the Price is Right

  This is Josh Freese, a session drummer and member of Devo, A Perfect Circle, and the Vandals, and formerly Nine Inch Nails and Guns n' Roses.  As part of the promotion for his new record Since 1972, Josh created a menu of sorts, indicating how much Josh Freese and assorted rock ephemera your money will get you, and the prices go up to $70,000. Starting with the $50 package, you get a personal phone call from the drummer, where he suggest you can ask such Qs relating to his experiences as "Which one of Sting's mansions has the comfiest beds?" For $250, you get a bunch of album-related junk and a lunch date with Josh to P.F. Chang's or the Cheesecake Factory. Read More... Posted Feb 26 2009, 03:08 PM by Colleen Kane with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: california, guns 'n roses, nine inch nails, stunt, marilyn manson, devo, a perfect circle, twiggy ramirez, cabana boy, buy me love, josh freese, the vandals

• California Introduces Bill to Legalize Marijuana

  The tanking economy has to have some positive results, and this could be one of them. California Assemblyman Tom Ammiano held a press conference yesterday to introduce his marijuana legalization bill, which would decriminalize the cultivation, transport and sale of marijuana and paraphernalia to adults over 21, and levy a tax on all sales at $50 an ounce.  But that's okay, stonies, because they're saying legal pot would cost about half of what it costs now. Read More... Posted Feb 24 2009, 01:36 PM by Colleen Kane with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: marijuana, pot, california, blame the economy, legalization

• Top 10 Worst Places to Live in the U.S.

  In these trying economic times, you can at least be thankful you don't live in one of these ten horrendous U.S. metropolitan areas. Wait, you don't actually live in these places, dear readers, do you? Read More... Posted Feb 11 2009, 10:17 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 11 comment(s) Filed under: crime, guns, florida, michigan, karaoke, michael moore, Chicago, strollerderby, kansas city, detroit, miami, illinois, california, st. louis, cities, pavement, memphis, auto industry bailout, tennesee

• 12-Year-Old Girl Forced To Do Something Horrible At Teacher's Behest

  And no, it's not have his baby... Read More... Posted Feb 10 2009, 02:28 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: kids, wtf, pregnant, school, pregnancy, children, young girls, child abuse, lawsuit, california, underage, teacher, young adult sex, slut

• Video of the Day: Don't Divorce My Dads!

  "Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo. This video, set to the tune of Regina Spektor's 'Fidelity' is put out by the Courage Campaign.... and it breaks my heart. [Via BUST] Related: "The Real World: Facebook" or Scanner Emily vs. The Mormons This Week In Gayness: Two Major Male Movie Stars Make Out Posted Feb 09 2009, 06:07 PM by Emily Farris with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: video of the day, divorce, vod, gay marriage, gay marriage ban, california, gay divorce, prop 8, proposition 8, regina spektor, courage campaign, fidelity, breaks my heart

• Tommy Lee's Drunk Pilot Is A Boob

  You would think it couldn't get any weirder than an arrest photo, taken by the accused drunk helicopter pilot, in which he and the arresting officer mug for the camera with a bottle of vodka and the arresting officer's shirt slightly undone... ...oh... but it does... Read More... Posted Feb 04 2009, 11:57 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: police, cops, internet, scary, TMZ, Los Angeles, boobies, tommy lee, topless photos, drunk people, california, sfw, drunk drivers

• Butt is it Art?

  Vice magazine's website spotlights sculptor Randy Polumbo, who created this giant flower Buttercup out of dildos, with an enormous butt plug in the center. It makes an enchanting luminescent view at night with the help of solar power.  Surprisingly, some religious people have gotten upset at the sight. Read More... Posted Feb 02 2009, 02:32 PM by Colleen Kane with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: Vice Magazine, california, censored, fundamentalists, randy polumbo, art queen