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• Sloppy Seconds: Even Winning 'American Idol' Won't Help You in this Economy

  Say goodbye to our old friends at MollyGood and please cross your fingers and hope that your favorite Scanner bloggers still have jobs come next Monday. [MollyGood] Lynne Spears admits she was a bit of an enabler when raising Britney. [Jossip] Madonna is suing the Mail for publishing pictures of her wedding to soon-to-be-former husband Guy Ritchie. You know, so she can have even more money to flaunt in front of him when they split. [BBC] Read More... Posted Dec 08 2008, 07:02 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: scanner, lindsay lohan, sloppy seconds, divorce, scanner emily, lesbians, lynne spears, pictures, american idol, ryan seacrest, money, brooklyn, madonna, emily farris, Guy Ritchie, the daily mail, millions, samantha ronson, break ups, ed mcmahon, lindsay and sam, law suits, suing, greenpoint, sue, picture, mollygood, december 8, lindsay lohan and samantha ronson kiss, home forclosure, north brooklyn contamination, the mail, to sue, ten million dollars, the end of mollygood, exxon oil spill, fantasia, five million pounds, exxon, the most polluted waterway in north america, five million dollars, fantasia barrino, contamination, mollygood shutting down, newtown creek, the recession, madonna sues the daily mail

• Lou Reed's Classic Example Of How To Give An Interview

  With international leaders meeting today to discuss the growing world economic crisis, employees are spending more and more of their workday online, job hunting. Thankfully, Lou Reed is here to help with your next interview. Now, in honor of the release of his brilliant new record, the master teaches you how to relax and to not appear too eager when facing down those overbearing interviewers... Read More... Posted Nov 14 2008, 12:26 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: video, drugs, david bowie, jobs, youtube, berlin, funny, brooklyn, economic stimulus, lou reed, economy, iggy pop, interview, job listings, online, velvet underground

• Man Steals Underwear from Victoria's Secret, We Share Our Victoria's Secret

  I consider myself a novelty thief (a salt shaker here, a candle from the Heath Ledger bar there) but I have to give a guy some novelty credit for stealing a buttload of underwear from a Victoria's Secret in Dallas. And ever since my own unfortunate incident in a Victoria's Secret fitting room, I can't help but smirk a little at this. Read More... Posted Nov 05 2008, 10:36 AM by Emily Farris with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: underwear, Victoria's Secret, texas, scanner emily, Dallas, brooklyn, theft, casseroles, girldles, theivery, atlantic center, fitting room, novelty theft

• What's (Er Who's) Going Down In Your Hood?

  We've seen some interesting uses of Google Maps mash-ups but perhaps none quite as, um, utilitarian as Hook-Up Maps. Read More... Posted Oct 29 2008, 04:26 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: craigslist, missouri, brooklyn, casual encounters, kansas city is in missouri, google maps, hook ups, nixa missouri, maps, nixa, greenpoint, hook up maps

• Apparently We Were Supposed to Be Upset By This Poster

  Remember this poster—a recreation of a Joan Baez poster from the 60's—we posted yesterday? Well, we thought it was all in good fun, but apparently it's pissed off quite a few female bloggers, including some of our old friends. Read More... Posted Oct 24 2008, 10:51 AM by Emily Farris with | with 8 comment(s) Filed under: scanner, politics, feminism, Barack Obama, posters, sarah hepola, salon, brooklyn, offensive, scanner sarah, feminists, joan baez, yes girls, the sixties, 1960's, yes men, rebecca traistor, broadsheet, skinny jeans

• Today in F*ck Yeah: Pacman Halloween Costumes

  Since we already kind-of got Slutoween out of our systems, perhaps this year we should go for something just plain cool. Our friend sent us a link to these Pacman ghost costumes, and we have to say, they're pretty amazing. Our only concern is the "enclosed" aspect. We tried to be the mascott at a football game in high school once and freaked the fuck out after about five minutes of having the Indian mask over our heads.  Pictures and link for purchase (though we can't imagine these beauties are still availalbe) after the jump. Read More... Posted Oct 22 2008, 09:44 AM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: halloween, brooklyn, costumes, mascot, pacman costumes, pacman, slutoween, halloween costumes

• While You Were Sleeping: Human Evolution Ended

  You won't see a better headline all day: "ZZ Top regrets snake tour." And yes, it's worth reading beyond the title for the story of those snakes. Eric Clapton is selling 13 shotguns. The news here? Eric Clapton is a scary, scary mofo. Even when she finally got it together to get her own driver, Britney Spears still can't escape trouble on the road... Read More... Posted Oct 09 2008, 10:29 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: britney spears, music, science, guns, sex, evolution, lesbians, brothels, australia, airlines, brooklyn, british, car accident, snakes, honeymoon, recycling, zz top, eric clapton

• Sloppy Seconds: Pete Wentz Puts His Money Where His Penis is Not

  With word that Candace Bushnell will pen a novel telling the story of Carrie Bradshaw before she starting having sex in the city, people are already buzzing about who would play a young Bradshaw in the movie version. Can you guess who? [Yahoo!] Who knew Bridget Jones had such influence over British families? [Jezebel] Helen Koss, championed women's rights in Maryland and was the first female committee chairperson in the Maryland General Assembly's House of Delegates died of lung cancer at the age of 86. [Washington Post] Read More... Posted Sep 30 2008, 05:09 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: gay, sloppy seconds, books, Sex and the City, New York City, the UK, brad pitt, sex, penis, miley cyrus, teeth, Maryland, britain, brooklyn, billy ray cyrus, food, pete wentz, Steven Spielberg, novels, satc, pete wentz penis pictures, baking, carrie bradshaw, cooking shows, helen koss, enid's 6th annual apple pie competition, cablendace bushnell, apple pie, brideget jones, cities, california gay marriage ban, pie, competition

• NYPD Tase A Nude Man To Death

  At about 1pm yesterday, the NYPD responded to a complaint in Brooklyn about a naked man standing on an awning. About an hour later, after he waved a long fluorescent lighting tube at officers, the man was tased... ...and fell to his death. We have video of the incident, sfw and without the actual landing (don't worry), after the jump... Read More... Posted Sep 25 2008, 11:48 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: video, dead people, shock videos, death, youtube, brooklyn, ron paul, NYPD, sfw, tasered, naked man

• Sloppy Seconds: Is Jessica Simpson Headed for a Life of Bad Clothes and TV Dinners?

  Bangkok Dangerous star Nicholas Cage just settled with the IRS and agreed to pay hundreds of thousands in back taxes. Will you pay ours while you're at it, Nick? It's only a few hundred. [Forbes] Josh Hartnett has filed a lawsuit against the UK's Daily Mirror after the paper ran a story claiming he had sex in the public area of a hotel. [People] Are we seriously still talking about purity rings? [MollyGood] Read More... Posted Sep 09 2008, 05:19 PM by Emily Farris with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: new york, michael jackson, sloppy seconds, tv, New York City, scanner emily, Jessica Simpson, pam anderson, brooklyn, country music, food, taxes, josh hartnett, nicholas cage, purity rings, band clothes, tv dinner, the daily mirror, the real world, bangkok dangerous, the irs

• Sloppy Seconds: New Apprentice Set To Be Worst TV Show Ever

  If you're a woman in your late twenties and going to have sex with your seventeen-year-old lover, please don't get drunk first. Also, please don't get drunk with your teenage lover, have sex in a train station, and refuse to leave when you are loudly asked to stop fucking each others' brains out over the public address system... Despite the operator’’s pleas for them to get dressed and desist, the woman of 29 and her boyfriend aged 17 carried on. In fact... Read More... Posted Aug 26 2008, 04:42 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: public sex, Barack Obama, london, canada, Joe Francis, england, military, brooklyn, the apprentice, nude photos, anne hathaway

• Artist Steve Powers Is Waterboarding at Coney Island

  Step right up and catch a glimpse of Coney Island's "Waterboard Thrill Ride." Artist Steve Powers has created an installation at New York City's Coney Island beach and amusement park depicting the act of waterboarding on dummies in a freak show cage... Read More... Posted Aug 18 2008, 12:38 PM by Nicole Pasulka with | with no comments Filed under: torture porn, art, brooklyn, coney island, amusement parks, waterboarding

• Calling All Wannabe Patrons of the Arts

  Brooklyn-based artist James J. Williams III is selling off piles of random crap from his apartment. This is "The Goodbye Box." Retailing for $100, items include:   Read More... Posted Jul 21 2008, 02:58 PM by Nicole Pasulka with | with no comments Filed under: art, brooklyn, james j williams III

• The 2008 Mermaid Parade Rocked Our Partially-Nude World

  Wait, you've never heard of the Mermaid Parade? You need to get up (or down) to Coney Island next year, for sure. No wonder Mayor Bloomberg wants to turn the whole area into a Disney World of the Northeast, or at least Condominium World: he's too much of a stuffed shirt to appreciate Brooklyn's wildest day for what it is: an excuse for rampant pasties, men in diapers and thongs, and transvestites to come out for a day of fun in the 102-degree sun... Read More... Posted Jun 23 2008, 11:47 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: New York City, mermaids, brooklyn, weird, nude photos, photo essay, parades

• We Missed Out On The Hipster Olympics

  Taking place in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, of course. Not that we would've gone, lest we were so uncool as to be associated with hipsters. Thanks, Marco. Posted Jun 03 2008, 01:30 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: youtube, parodies, brooklyn, olympics, hipsters, williamsburg, hipster olympics

• This Week in Gayness: Vito Fossella Sister Shocker

  This week it's an endless parade of discrimination and bigotry... although there is a plethora of positive news, such as: Voters in the state of Virginia elected for the first time ever a gay black person to statewide office. Can civilization be too far off in Virginia's future? Illinois bigots will have to try another GOTV tactic for McCain after their anti-gay marriage ballot initiative failed.  Walt Bayes, the same Republican candidate for the Idaho State House who went on a two-month hunger strike to "end abortion" has come out in favor of segregation. Yep, the big assface wants gay students isolated from the rest of the populace... Read More... Posted May 15 2008, 03:27 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: republicans, brooklyn, virginia, this week in gayness, Idaho, politicians, vito fossella, staten island, illinois, gay rights

• The Vagina Tree

  Brooklyn, where four of your Scanner bloggers live, is full of sexually suggestive trees. First it was the Mighty Bukkake Tree, and now the Vagina Tree, found in Scanner Emily's neighborhood. You can call it the Vulva Tree if you want, but we think Vagina Tree sounds better. (Note the brown leaves. We actually found this tree a long, long time ago but just found our camera cord today. Maybe we're due for a picture of the Vagina Tree in the spring?) Posted May 12 2008, 12:21 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: scanner emily, trees, vagina, brooklyn, bukkake, bukkake tree, camera, vagina tree

• Vito Fossella Promotes Family Values... Two Families At A Time

  As we suspected, Vito Fossella is not the goody-two-shoes, family-values, conservative, Dad of the Year winner the Republican Party made him out to be. The New York City Congressman, already the worst person in the world for bringing his best friend Dick Cheney to Brooklyn and Staten Island to fundraise for him, has outdone himself again. Read More... Posted May 09 2008, 12:40 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: cheating, scandals, arrests, republicans, brooklyn, drunk driving, arrested, extramarital affairs, Eliot Spitzer, ashley alexandra dupe, dick cheney, cheaters, vito fossella, secret family, staten island

• Last NYC Republican Congressman Busted For DWI!

  The Democrats have been trying to oust New York City's only Republican member of Congress for several electoral cycles. After a boneheaded move on Vito Fossella's part, they have their best chance for a pickup since his first term... Updated, with new revelations...  Read More... Posted May 05 2008, 12:30 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: New York City, republicans, elections, brooklyn, drunk driving, vito fossella, drunk people, dwi

• Visitors to Brooklyn Should Not Miss the Anime Jizz Sculptures

  Wired brings us a rundown of the new Takashi Murakami show opening this Saturday at the Brooklyn Museum -- featuring this little number, which we would probably call "Dragonball XXX" but is actually named "My Lonesome Cowboy." We haven't really been to the Brooklyn Museum since Sensation was such a, well, sensation, but if you haven't noticed, 80% of your humble correspondents live in the 4th largest city in the country -- sorry, Scanner Katie! -- so maybe one of us will make the scene! If so, we'll let you know -- and you do the same! Posted Apr 04 2008, 02:01 PM by Bryan Christian with | with no comments Filed under: wired, brooklyn, Sensation, Takashi Murakami, Scanner Katie lives in Manhattan poor thing, Brooklyn Museum

• Scanner Bryan and Scanner Emily Meet in the Real World, Take Bad Camera Phone Pictures

  Can you believe that the royal we had never met? Scanner Emily was beginning to worry that she only existed on The Internets and not in the real world, so we decided to meet for $9 cocktails and document it. There are just more bad camera phone pictures after the jump. In the end, Scanner Bryan took the phoneputer from Scanner Emily and got both of their heads in the final shot, so if you've been dying to see Scanner Bryan's forehead in its entirety, today's your lucky day. Read More... Posted Jan 25 2008, 11:33 AM by Emily Farris with | with 9 comment(s) Filed under: scanner bryan, scanner emily, the internets, pictures, drinking, brooklyn, fuzzy pictures, bars, phoneputers, the royal we, cameras