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• Sloppy Seconds: Keep Yer Areolae Off My Facebook, Mmmkay?

  While trying to find out if the double homicide I think I heard happen early yesterday morning really happened, I found out that Al Capone's home is for sale in Chicago for a mere $450,000. Still no word on the homicide. [Crime Scene KC] Suri Cruise may very well be the cutest baby I've seen, like, ever, but I cannot get behind Tom and Katie going for nine more. I imagine Katie's vagina agrees. [Us] I'd like to think I'm not the only woman out there who would bed Woody Harrelson. In fact, I know I'm not. He just got married. [People] Read More... Posted Dec 30 2008, 06:51 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: scanner, boobs, nerve, marriage, sloppy seconds, weddings, photos, facebook, crime, 2008, Woody Harrelson, scanner emily, tom cruise, katie holmes, pictures, suri cruise, scientology, vagina, celebrities, money, breasts, madonna, emily farris, Chicago, engagements, images, kansas city, nerve.com, murder, areolas, kabbalah, making babies, breastfeeding, pictures of boobs, pictures of breasts, scanner blog, sexy vagina, december 30, pictures of areolas, double homicide, won't you be my neighbor, philanthropy, al capone, mister rogers, areola, gchat, close-ups

• This Blog Has Been Rated NC-17

  See why after the jump. Read More... Posted Dec 30 2008, 10:14 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: porn, sex, scanner emily, penis, censorship, sexy, breasts, united kingdom, porno, religious wackos, ratings, sfw, nc-17, orgams, xxx, censored, sloppy second, abortionon

• Today in Studies that Freak Us Out: Breakfast and Sex

  We read quite a few news stories about studies here at Scanner. Generally, we pass them over, sometimes rolling our eyes, other times not even caring enough about the subject matter to waste the energy of actually moving our eyes. Today, however, we were intrigued by a headline and after reading the first paragraph—"that those who skipped breakfast in their early teens first had sexual intercourse at an average age of 17.5"— thought, "Holy Shit! That's us!" (Us, being me, Scanner Emily, natch). Read More... Posted Dec 26 2008, 12:01 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: boobs, virginity, 2008, japan, sex, scanner emily, virgins, studies, breasts, emily farris, sex studies, breakfast, technical virginity, december 26, average age to lose virginity in the united states, technical virgin, sex in japan, hating my father, breakfast in japan, average age to lose virginity, average age to lose virginity in japan, correlation, hating my mother, fried eggs, causation, breakfast in bed, the u.s., correlations, sex at 17, sex and breakfast

• (Bonkers) Woman Ejected From Giants Game For Big Boobs

  You may have heard about the crazy, fame-hungry Sondra Fortunato and her attempt to make a football game worth watching this week.  Sondra wore fishnets, a Santa Suit, and ginormous fake boobies to the delight of Giants fans both at the stadium and on TV. For her troubles, she was unceremoniously booted from the game. That's not her in the above photo, by the way. See her after the jump... Read More... Posted Dec 16 2008, 04:18 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: santa, sports, wtf, scary, football, model, breasts, weirdos, boobies, fake boobs, big boobs, fake body parts, santa claus

• Ashlee Thinks We Don't See Them...

  But we do... Read More... Posted Dec 09 2008, 01:46 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: pictures, breasts, ashlee simpson, huge breasts, breast feeding, ashlee simpson wentz, pete wentz penis pictures, bronx mowgli wentz, pictures of breasts, big breasts, pictures of big breasts, ashlee simpson's breasts, post pregnancy breasts, pregnancy breasts, huge boobs from nursing, breast feeind pictures, breasts enlarge when breast feeding, pictures of ashlee simpson wentz

• When Tina Fey Was "Fat," Her Cups Runnethed Over

  Everybody's favorite female Tina Fey was profiled by Barbara Walters last night as one of her Most Fascinating People of 2008. Also fascinating was when they showed old footage of Tina's Second City days, including two big, bouncing bits of her chunkier self. Read More... Posted Dec 05 2008, 03:21 PM by Colleen Kane with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: boobs, tina fey, breasts, barbara walters

• Sloppy Seconds: The Curious Case of 130,000 Missing Breasts

  Sometimes headlines really do just write themselves: "Indiantown man accused of assaulting girlfriend with hot sweet potato pie." [Sun Sentinel] Patrick Swayze says that contrary to news reports he's winning the fight against pancreatic cancer. To those who reported otherwise, we say nobody puts Patrick's pancreas in a corner! [Yahoo!] Happy Britney Spears Day! Not only is she the most Googled person for four years running, it's her 27th birthday. Looks like she made it... [MollyGood] Read More... Posted Dec 02 2008, 05:47 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: video, britney spears, marriage, angelina jolie, sloppy seconds, dirty dancing, Barack Obama, violence, birthday, brad pitt, pictures, money, breasts, promotions, cancer, patrick swayze, gossip girl, tutorials, cum, ed westwick, domestic violence, engagement, guerilla marketing, bedsheets, pancreatic cancer, britney spears' birthday, superman a ho, assault with a pie, dallas airport, inflatable breasts, jessica szohr, pancreas, chuck and vanessa kissing, magazine, breasts lost at sea, sweet potato not pie, maddox jolie pitt, srsly?, assault with a hot sweet potato pie, what does superman a ho mean, 27th birthday, sweet potato pie, violence on super bowl sunday, violence on thanksgiving, ralph magazine, shiloh, supermans a ho, instructions, nobody puts baby in a corner, ralph, gossip girl talk, omg, lost at sea, supermanning that ho, how to superman a ho, soulja boy, britney spears' 27th birthday, barack obama still asking for money, barack obama scarf, donating money to barack obama, barack obama asking for money after the election, barack obama fleece scarf

• Which Would You Rather: Small, Natural Boobs or Big, Fake Ones?

  Every time I complain to my double-D mom about the breast injustice in my family, she reminds me that "men would rather have lemon drops on an ironing board than fake ones." Then Scanner Brian posited this this morning and no one answered. Now we need to know, is it true? Read More... Posted Nov 25 2008, 04:51 PM by Emily Farris with | with 13 comment(s) Filed under: who would you rather, wwyr, pamela anderson, scanner emily, pictures, scanner brian, which would you rather, breasts, kate hudson, who would you rather?, fake boobs, scanner emily's mom, scanner emily's mom's boobs, pictures of boobs, men and breasts, pictures of big natural boobs, which would you rather?, pictures of small natural boobs, small natural boobs, survey, breast survey, lemon drops on an ironing board, big fake boobs, pictures of big fake boobs, small boobs, boob survey, pictures of breasts

• The 50 Sexiest Movies of All-Time: 50-41

  This summer, we gave you the 50 Sexiest Albums of All-Time in an effort to help the music industry's sluggish sales numbers. Now, we present an even sexier compendium-- complete with a few NSFW scenes to warm up your November afternoon-- as well as background and trivia and everything else that we can think of to convince you to rent these the next time you want to seduce somebody... Included in today's list is a movie so hot, it made Susan Sarandon want to sleep with Tim Robbins for the rest of her life... Read More... Posted Nov 17 2008, 01:41 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: boobs, movies, sarah michelle gellar, james bond, divorce, lists, sean connery, incest, sex scenes, oscars, nsfw, dancing, academy awards, breasts, lesbian sex scenes, Marilyn Monore, baseball, gina gershon, susan sarandon, topless, ryan phillipe, the 80s, north carolina, uma thurman, dustin hoffman, jennifer tilly, kevin costner, dance, top 50 sexiest albums, jennifer beals, sfw, tim robbins, jon voight, television shows, bogart, rated x, skirt, 50 sexiest

• Sloppy Seconds: The Craigslist Crackdown on Hookers

  The awesome sounding Ghostbusters game, featuring the original cast and creators, will be out in 2009, thanks to Atari, who rescued the franchise. A heartbreaking post from a lesbian mom in California is here. Madonna, meanwhile, attacked Prop 8 in an LA concert and had Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake perform live with her, albeit at separate times. A male major in the Japanese air force was busted for shopping for women's underwear... Read More... Posted Nov 07 2008, 04:53 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: britney spears, japan cannot be stopped, kanye west, babies, underwear, hookers, gay marriage, craigslist, japan, Bill Clinton, concerts, pregnancy, Los Angeles, justin timberlake, breasts, madonna, surgery, video game, california, california gay marriage, breast cancer, japanese, christina applegate, Craigslist ad, naked man, california gay marriage ban, west virginia, ghostbusters, births, samantha who, human trafficking, michelle monaghan, beatles

• Kate Winslet Takes it Off for Vanity Fair

  We're still traveling but we can't wait to get home to our copy of "Vanity Fair." The lovely Kate Winslet is the cover subject, and though we think she's looking a little too thin for Kate Winslet (airbrushing?), she looks amazing. But, of course, Kate always looks beautiful—even if she's just out and about in a t-shirt and jeans. But, yeah, the naked pin-up look is good for her, too.  However, does anyone else think she looks a more like Angelina Jolie than Catherine Deneuve in the cover shot? Read More... Posted Nov 03 2008, 11:33 AM by Emily Farris with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: kate winslet, angelina joile, breasts, vanity fair, naked, naked pictures, ass, titanic, catherine deneuve, naked picitures of angelina jolie, naked pictures of kate winslet

• Sloppy Seconds: The Naked Lesbian Bubble Bath

  Barbara Walters hit on-- oh God, make it stop-- Michael Phelps. McCain continues to close in on Obama in the popular vote... at least according to CNN and other journalists desperate for an angle. Meanwhile, Obama is way ahead in the Electoral College. (By the way, don't miss this newly-resurfaced story from the Chicago Tribune, published in 2006, about the chances of an Obama Presidential bid... and the glorious response, in its comments section.) The Strollerderby shattered a myth about your boobs... Read More... Posted Oct 30 2008, 05:36 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: lesbian, reality shows, the view, America's Next Top Model, Barack Obama, reality show stars we'd like to fuck, crazy, john McCain, denise richards, election, breasts, gossip, insanity, barbara walters, website of the day, michael phelps, bathroom, breastfeeding

• Sloppy Seconds: Phillies Fan Gives Her Team A Big Boost

  Vietnam believes small chests are unhealthy and that thin people shouldn't operate motor vehicles. Believe it or not, this is a health initiative. T.I. voted in Georgia, despite being a convicted felon and a guy we didn't think would ever show up to vote. This top 10 list of "Things I Hate Absolutely Hate About Heteronormative Dating" doesn't always hit the nail on the head, but these entries we can agree with: Read More... Posted Oct 29 2008, 05:29 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: dating, sloppy seconds, drunk, sports, Barack Obama, lingerie, health, john McCain, breasts, voting, baseball, philadelphia, arrest, male enhancement, feministing, georgia, sexy photos, vietnam, sexy people, rappers, voting for obama, coed, felon, drunk dialing

• Co-Ed Magazine Picks The 52 Best All-Natural Breasts...

  ...in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, of course. Gotta love the shameless ploy... Here are our ten more-or-less SFW favorites... Read More... Posted Oct 09 2008, 01:52 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 6 comment(s) Filed under: boobs, heidi klum, CO-ED Magazine, keeley hazell, scarlett johansson, celebrities, breasts, Marilyn Monore, Rosario Dawson, boobies, breast cancer, anne hathaway, elizabeth hurley, america ferrera, salma hayek, sfw

• Boobs for Barack

  Because... why not? I've donated my modest chest space to Obama/Biden '08 but if you're not quite ready to put your money where your chest is (say, you work for a non-profit organization or you're the pastor of a church), you can be a little more, uh, general with one of these "LIBERAL" t-shirts; it's totally allowable to be liberal by 501(c)3 law. And, unlike my $30 Obama/Biden shirt which I had specially silk screened on American Apparel so it would look vintage, this can be yours for only $10.  Did we mention all of the money goes to Obama? Read More... Posted Oct 07 2008, 09:26 AM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: boobs, Barack Obama, t-shirts, breasts, liberals, boobs for barack, boobies for barack, liberal tshirts

• Caption This: Here Come The Boobs

  [via YBNBY] Posted Sep 30 2008, 02:04 PM by Emily Farris with | with 6 comment(s) Filed under: weddings, wedding dresses, caption this, boob envy, breasts, ybnby, wedding cake, yes but no but yes

• PETA Asks Ben and Jerry's to Admit that "Breast Is Best"

  Oh PETA! At it again! This time the rogue activists and media starlets are demanding that Ben and Jerry's begin making ice cream with slightly more humane ingredients.  Such as... Read More... Posted Sep 24 2008, 12:11 PM by Nicole Pasulka with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: boobs, PETA, breasts, ice cream, breast feeding, breast milk, ben and jerrys

• Mischa Barton's Nip Slip

  Misha barton had a little trouble getting out of the car at Fashion Week... Going, going... Read More... Posted Sep 18 2008, 01:34 PM by Emily Farris with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: boobs, nip slips, cars, mischa barton, breasts, fashion week, nip slip, mischa barton's nipples, celebrity nip slip, mischa barton's breasts

• Sloppy Seconds: Carla Bruni-Sarkozy's Rock Star Performance

  This is not a joke or a rumor we're trying to start about Sarah Palin, but apparently her personal email account (that she used to conduct government business) has been hacked. [techPresident] Is it bad to laugh at this headline? [Naked Man Running Through Traffic Dies] Okay, but we can laugh at this one, right? [R. Kelly says he was betrayed during porn probe] Whatever you do, do not send Brokeback Mountain author Annie Proulx your happy endings. [Defamer] Read More... Posted Sep 17 2008, 05:04 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: boobs, douchebag, porn, sloppy seconds, Sex and the City, cell phones, sex, email, R Kelly, Jessica Simpson, pictures, carla bruni, scarlett johansson, dane cook, vagina, brokeback mountain, breasts, BBC, satc, candace bushnell, hackers, sarah palin, live performance, scar jo, annie proulx, hacking, carrie bradshaw, sisters, kings of leon, carla bruni-sarkozy, probes, rock stars, metallica

• Rosario Dawson: In Your Face

  Rosario Dawson looks beautiful in this picture, but before we cropped it we were having a really hard time focusing on her face... Read More... Posted Sep 17 2008, 03:24 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: boobs, breasts, Rosario Dawson, cleavage, nip slip, rosario dawson's breasts, boob shot

• Scanner Highs and Lows: Even Sarah Palin's Breasts Want You to Vote for Barack Obama

  Oh, those aren't Sarah Palin's breasts? Well, with all the nude pictures of the Republican veep nominee floating around the Interwebs, you could have fooled us. Read More... Posted Sep 12 2008, 06:01 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: boobs, masturbation, bra, fox, Barack Obama, Christmas, highs and lows, penis, photoshop, breasts, masturbating, ellen degeneres, portia de rossi, lindsay and sam kiss, sam ronson, sarah palin, loud not proud, ellen and portia's wedding, selling out, sarah palin's breasts, linsdsay lohan, penis slide, crackzy cat lady

• CNN Video on Hooters Is Actually "Mammary Aversion Therapy"

  Cracked.com points out the subtle ways that CNN causes their viewers to hate the sight of breasts. Mainly this involves juxtaposing video of Hooters waitresses with shots of dogs being neutered. The images fuction like a cold shower, or a quick snip below the belt. Honestly, video of dogs getting surgery is gross whether there are boobs around or not.  Posted Aug 20 2008, 02:21 PM by Nicole Pasulka with | with no comments Filed under: video, hooters, dogs in the news, cnn, breasts

• Grope The Sculpture, Live Forever

  First, they unveiled the oversized tribute to the enema in a town square. Now, Russia is trying to one-up itself with this latest piece of public art.   Read More... Posted Jul 10 2008, 10:59 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: art, sculpture, groping, russia, breasts, perverts, misogyny, public

• Stem Cells: The Next Miracle Cure for “A Cup-ism?”

  Want wrinkle-free skin, big lips, and even bigger tits, but afraid of silicone and botulism? Well, science may just have the answer. Read More... Posted Jun 26 2008, 03:37 PM by Kelly Deerson with | with 7 comment(s) Filed under: boobs, science, plastic surgery, breasts, stem cells

• Breast Motion Finally Good for More Than Just Moving Pasties in Circles

  Earlier, Scanner Brian told you about the hiker who used her bra to signal for help. Well, it turns out that tittie carriage could not only save your life, but also power your iPod. Read More... Posted Jun 24 2008, 02:37 PM by Nicole Pasulka with | with no comments Filed under: boobs, ipod, breasts, slate magazine, boob, tits, breast motion

• Scanner Roundtable: Boobies

  We've had more than our fair share of civil discussions and total blowouts over breasts here at Scanner. So we're interested to know, what kind-of breast does the average Scanner reader prefer? Read More... Posted Jun 17 2008, 09:14 AM by Emily Farris with | with 14 comment(s) Filed under: boobs, boob envy, breasts, bra size, big boobs

• Five Things Women Think They Know About Men (But They're Wrong)

  At the risk of turning into Cosmo for the day, we're going to set the record straight about some things, since all of them are getting out of hand.  5) We are freaked out if you want to cook us dinner... on the second date. Read More... Posted Jun 13 2008, 03:00 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 13 comment(s) Filed under: fashion, dating, women, men, breasts, food, ron paul, george washington, aliens, fake boobs, std

• Sloppy Seconds: How Christina Will Maintain Her Ginormous Breasts

  We enjoyed Courtney Cox's show Dirt, the few times we saw it. Too bad, though, it's been canceled. [Fox News]  Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan are doing just fine, thank you very much. [Us]  Yes, showing your dick in the "Sex and the City" movie sure will open a lot of doors — in your career, of course.. [Yahoo!]  Raising a baby chimp might actually be a good way to figure out if you really want kids. [Telegraph] Read More... Posted Jun 10 2008, 06:12 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: lindsay lohan, the view, sloppy seconds, Sex and the City, christina aguilera, R Kelly, breasts, courtney cox, penises, Regis Philbin, samantha ronson, p diddy, puff daddy

• Me, Myself and My Breasts

  BBC America is airing two news specials about breasts—one big, one small. Read More... Posted Jun 03 2008, 10:42 AM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: jezebel, boob envy, breasts, BBC, bbc america

• The Life-Saving Power of Breasts

  We love breasts as much as the next guy, or gal, but let's all remember that they serve a much greater purpose than sexual entertainment. Breasts can save lives — especially in China, where one police officer has been nursing babies who have been orphaned or separated from their mothers after the massive earthquake that struck the country nearly two weeks ago. Read More... Posted May 23 2008, 09:54 AM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: China, breasts, earthquake, breast feeding, nursing