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• Scanner's Greatest Hits: The Top 10 Posts of 2008

  Ed note: Yes, we're running it every day this week. Now that we're settling comfortably into 2009, we have a little time to reflect on 2008. And what kind of seemingly professional blog would we be if we didn't compile our top ten posts of last year? With boobs, Mormons, abortion and booze we hope the list is everything you hoped it would be and more. Read more... Posted Jan 07 2009, 03:18 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: nerve, al gore, hillary clinton, tacky, amy winehouse, lists, gay marriage, bloggers, the UK, 2008, top 10 lists, scanner emily, nude beaches, mormons, drinking, new jersey, australia, abortion, scanner brian, roe v. wade, emily farris, sex scandal, Eliot Spitzer, ashley alexandra dupre, math, boobies, dick cheney, comments, top 10, bad movies, groupies, california, breast feeding, scanner nicole, rnc, scanner verena, sarah palin, prop 8, proposition 8, mail goggles, almost famous, client no. 9, client number 9, the room, 2009, nude sunbathing, the mormons, 10-year-olds, suckling at the teet, the u.k, douche bag, sunbathing, pop music, governor eliot spitzer, missy quinn, drunkenness, top ten, commenters, james blunt, tabloid news stories, le pequena, la pequena sarah palin, protesters, douche, mormons in california, grown children breast feeding, mormons against prop 8, high class call girl, republican national convention, top 10 scanner posts of 2008, roe vs. wade, 35 year anniversary, i had an abortion

• In Case You Missed It Yesterday: The Top Ten Scanner Posts of 2008

  Now that we're settling comfortably into 2009, we have a little time to reflect on 2008. And what kind of seemingly professional blog would we be if we didn't compile our top ten posts of last year? With boobs, Mormons, abortion and booze we hope the list is everything you hoped it would be and more. Read more... Posted Jan 06 2009, 02:02 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: nerve, al gore, hillary clinton, tacky, amy winehouse, lists, gay marriage, bloggers, the UK, 2008, top 10 lists, scanner emily, nude beaches, mormons, drinking, new jersey, australia, abortion, scanner brian, roe v. wade, emily farris, sex scandal, Eliot Spitzer, ashley alexandra dupre, math, boobies, dick cheney, comments, top 10, bad movies, groupies, california, breast feeding, scanner nicole, rnc, scanner verena, sarah palin, prop 8, proposition 8, mail goggles, almost famous, client no. 9, client number 9, the room, 2009, nude sunbathing, the mormons, 10-year-olds, suckling at the teet, the u.k, douche bag, sunbathing, pop music, governor eliot spitzer, missy quinn, drunkenness, top ten, commenters, james blunt, tabloid news stories, le pequena, la pequena sarah palin, protesters, douche, mormons in california, grown children breast feeding, mormons against prop 8, high class call girl, republican national convention, top 10 scanner posts of 2008, roe vs. wade, 35 year anniversary, i had an abortion

• Top Ten Scanner Posts of 2008

  Now that we're settling comfortably into 2009, we have a little time to reflect on 2008. And what kind of seemingly professional blog would we be if we didn't compile our top ten posts of last year? With boobs, Mormons, abortion and booze we hope the list is everything you hoped it would be and more. Read More... Posted Jan 05 2009, 04:07 PM by Emily Farris with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: nerve, al gore, hillary clinton, tacky, amy winehouse, lists, gay marriage, bloggers, the UK, 2008, top 10 lists, scanner emily, nude beaches, mormons, drinking, new jersey, australia, abortion, scanner brian, roe v. wade, emily farris, sex scandal, Eliot Spitzer, ashley alexandra dupre, math, boobies, dick cheney, comments, top 10, bad movies, groupies, california, breast feeding, scanner nicole, rnc, scanner verena, sarah palin, prop 8, proposition 8, mail goggles, almost famous, client no. 9, client number 9, the room, 2009, nude sunbathing, the mormons, 10-year-olds, suckling at the teet, the u.k, douche bag, sunbathing, pop music, governor eliot spitzer, missy quinn, drunkenness, top ten, commenters, james blunt, tabloid news stories, le pequena, la pequena sarah palin, protesters, douche, mormons in california, grown children breast feeding, mormons against prop 8, high class call girl, republican national convention, top 10 scanner posts of 2008, roe vs. wade, 35 year anniversary, i had an abortion

• Sloppy Seconds: Amy Winehouse vs. Norway

  All right, let's wrap up the new year with a deluge of crazy celebrity, sex, and celebrity sex news around: Charles Barkley, rumored to be gearing up to run for Governor of 'Bama, was arrested for DUI in Arizona. The list of the 19 worst Americans of 2008 is a hard one to dispute. Wayne Bent, the leader of religious sect, was sentenced to ten years in prison for... Read More... Posted Dec 31 2008, 03:17 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: naked girls, drugs, amy winehouse, drug addiction, teacher student sex, Charles Barkley, mayor, text messaging, governor, teenage girls, arizona, teacher sex, video game, cults, government, oregon, alabama, portland, flight of the conchords, drunk drivers, text message booty call, americans, sam adams, norway, wayne bent

• Famous People We're Afraid Will Die in 2009

  No one could have called Heath Ledger's untimely demise in 2008, but there are some olds who just take on that look of imminent death, as if their essence is draining away. It won't be long once someone takes on the death look, and no one seems to ever shake it off. Paul Newman had it this year. (RIP, Best Guy to Die in 2008.) The ones with the death look are dancing a tango with the Grim Reaper as we speak. Another dead giveaway is if you are reminded about an older celebrity and can't remember if they're dead or not. The ones in grave danger, a few wild cards, and an example of the death look, after the jump.  Read More... Posted Dec 30 2008, 09:40 AM by Colleen Kane with | with 6 comment(s) Filed under: amy winehouse, RIP, johnny cash, fidel castro, willie nelson, kirk douglas, patrick swayze, jimmy carter, etta james, ted kennedy, Peter O'Toole, jerry lewis, loretta lynn, celebrity deathwatch, mickey rooney, carol burnett, phyllis diller, weekend at bernie's, elizabeth taylor, olds, bea arthur, abe vigoda, kim jong-il, wino, merle haggard, fats domino, don rickels

• Sloppy Seconds: "I Don't Need Your Sex, I'll Masturbate"

  It's the end of the year as we know it... Self-proclaimed "sex kitten," singer ("Santa Baby"), actress and all-around cool chick, Eartha Kitt, is dead at 81. [AP] Our old friend Scanner Sarah, now Salon Sarah (Hepola) explores the death of the celebrity scandal in 2008—a year chock full of, well, celebrity scandal. [Salon] Jezebel rounds up their top eight Lezebels (girls who like girls who are liked by the ladies at Jezebel) of 2008. We have a hard time believing they couldn't have made it a top 10, though. Hello? Wanda Sykes? Maaaaybe Queen Latifah? [Jezebel] Read More... Posted Dec 26 2008, 01:21 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: scanner, nerve, gay, lindsay lohan, amy winehouse, masturbation, Heath Ledger, 2008, Usher, sex, sarah hepola, salon, scanner emily, lesbians, jezebel, hollywood, scanner sarah, emily farris, nerve.com, ellen degeneres, village voice, pharrell, queen latifah, lindsay and sam kiss, sam ronson, katy perry, wanda sykes, scanner blog, chinese food, december 26, 2008 round-ups, unnecessary ellipses, nickelback, the ugly, eartha kitt, i don't need your sex i'll masturbate, death of the celebrity scandal, the bad, unnecessary ellipsis, sex kitten, trading places, the good, worst lyrics of 2008, porti de rossi, lezebels, t-pain, gossip is dead, celebrity scandal, bad lyrics, people we've never heard of, santa baby

• Wino Goes Topless and We Say No No No

  Amy Winehouse is finishing out 2008 strong, if her goal was to transform into Keith Richards. Read More... Posted Dec 23 2008, 08:41 AM by Colleen Kane with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: boobs, amy winehouse, nsfw, keith richards, topless photos, year in review, say no to drugs

• While You Were Sleeping: Kirsten Dunst Off the Deep End

  A very lame-looking Jim Carrey movie based on a superior autobiography opened with a mere $18 million. Teachers can't keep banging teenagers. The Letters to Santa operation was suspended last week because of a scary security breach... Read More... Posted Dec 22 2008, 10:49 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: amy winehouse, george w bush, teachers, drinking, autobiography, hollywood, alcohol, rehab, hospital, kirsten dunst, teacher student sex, the cosby show, sex offenders, tara reid, teacher sex, jim carrey, underage sex, drunk people, saudi arabia, santa claus, box office

• Sloppy Seconds: How Kanye West is Handling the Recession

  The nearly naked girl Michael Phelps has been spotted with his not his girlfriend. Mmmkay? [Us] Another one (of our potential future husbands) bites the dust. Sam Talbot, winner runner up from Season 2 of Top Chef got married in a secret ceremony last month, further increasing my chances of becoming the Crazy Cat Lady. [People] If you're selling pictures you took of Amy Winehouse smoking crack, it's possible you were also smoking (or selling) crack and might go to jail. [Radar] What does Harvey Weinstein have to say about yesterday's Golden Globe nominations? [Vulture] Read More... Posted Dec 12 2008, 07:41 PM by Emily Farris with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: fashion, anderson cooper, sloppy seconds, kanye west, cocaine, amy winehouse, facebook, Barack Obama, 2008, scanner emily, ryan gosling, golden globes, George Bush, pictures, lauren conrad, crack, harvey weinstein, prison, washington post, depression, emily farris, michelle obama, naked, olympics, recession, images, interns, the white house, crazy cat lady, swimming, michael phelps, malia obama, sasha obama, amy winehouse smoking crack, december 12, pictures of amy winehouse smoking crack, the blair house, golden globe nominations, are we in a recession, scanner emily is the crazy cat lady, fashion internships, the great depression, amy winehouse snorting cocaine, sam talbot, are we in a depression, donald graham, internships

• Caption This: Amy Winehouse Escapes from the Hospital

  [Image] Posted Dec 05 2008, 05:51 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: amy winehouse, caption this, crack, amy winehouse on crack, amy winehouse escapes from the hospital, amy winehouse crack pictures

• Sloppy Seconds: Obama's Brother From Another Mother

  Is Argentina crying for Madonna after she had to postpone a show there? Enh, probably not. [Yahoo!] We're not the only ones with "sloppy seconds." [MollyGood] Actor Mark Ruffalo's brother is "clinging to life" after he was shot in the head. [Us] Duuuuuuuuude. A 2,700-year-old weed stash was uncovered in the Gobi Desert. Wonder if it's still good? [MSNBC] Read More... Posted Dec 03 2008, 06:31 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: divorce, amy winehouse, jail, Barack Obama, mark ruffalo, marijuana, argentina, anna wintour, vogue, rehab, pot, elisha cuthbert, hospital, madonna, blake fielder civil, wives, shooting, blake incarcerated, sean avery, half brother, rachel hunter, the world's oldest marijuana stash, how to fly with pot, husbands, pot stash, nhl, shot in the head, how long is marijuana good, how to fly with marijuana, mark ruffalo's brother shot, how to stash pot, brother, evita, how long is pot good

• Sloppy Seconds: Divorce for Amy Winehouse?

  Be sure to go outside tonight. And then look up: A slender crescent moon, just 15-percent illuminated, will appear in very close proximity to the two brightest planets in our sky, Venus and Jupiter. Pretty! [Yahoo!] This article, exploring the best age for sex, rubs our inner fuddy-duddy the wrong way: "And here's another bombshell the survey uncovered with which Mr Hefner might concur: ditching your long-term partner for someone new when you turn 40 is said to guarantee that you'll cash in on the sexual revolution. In other words, by getting a new brawn when you're about to experience a mid-life crisis means you'll be happier in the sack than you ever were before." [Sydney Morning Herald] Is 30 Rock completely out of good guest stars? Let's let Larry King be the judge of that. [Vulture] Read More... Posted Dec 01 2008, 05:57 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: tina fey, 30 rock, crazytown, britney spears, sloppy seconds, divorce, drugs, amy winehouse, jail, kevin federline, larry king live, larry king, pictures, hugh hefner, australia, crack, rehab, prison, justin timberlake, blake fielder civil, arrest, alec baldwin, images, Venus, halfway house, old people and sex, larry king on 30 rock, stars on crack, stars smoking crack, australia the movie, smoking crack, amy winehouse smoking crack, amy winehouse on crack, crazy train, jupiter, pictures of venus, sex and old people, blake incarcerated, half-way house, sky, stars on drugs, night sky, mr. amy winehouse

• Sloppy Seconds: Joe The Plumber's New Homeland Security Gig

  We can't think of anything more unAmurrrican than George W. Bush pardoning an eagle killer. Okay, we can, but still... [Gawker] Hugh Jackman's wife was totally cool with him kissing Nicole Kidman. [Us] Who was totally not cool on David Letterman last night. [Jezebel] Read More... Posted Nov 25 2008, 05:52 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: sloppy seconds, drugs, kissing, amy winehouse, sexiest man alive, advertisements, Barack Obama, television, commercials, david letterman, talk shows, the olsen twins, nicole kidman, National Security, australia, john McCain, rehab, hospital, hugh jackman, the iraq war, meth, joe biden, baby daddy, full house, W, sarah palin, the real world, joe the plumber, unpatriotic, converter boxes, pardons, presidential election 2008, cody herpin, dtv transition, jodie sweetin, eagles, stephanie from full house, public safety, the war in iraq, people 2008, medication, digital tv transition, george bush pardons eagle killer, bob sagett, digital tv, president of the united states, candace cameron, Samuel Wurzelbacher, stephanie tanner, late night talk shows, george w. bush, election 08, unamerican

• Caption This: Amy Winehouse Gives Us a Wake-Up Call

  [Image] Posted Nov 19 2008, 09:07 AM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: amy winehouse, caption this, crack, Wake-Up Call, pictures of amy winehouse cracked out, cracked out, wake-up, amy winehouse pictures

• Sloppy Seconds: Blake-Fielder Civil Escapes (More) Prison (Time)

  Patrick Dempsey didn't dig the doc firing on Grey's Anatomy. Perhaps he knows something we don't about ABC's true motives? This guy will either be dead or a legend by 27. Eddie Izzard made the really dumb decision, as he is not a US citizen, to donate to Obama. He made an even dumber one when... Read More... Posted Nov 05 2008, 05:25 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: reality shows, beer, books, amy winehouse, jail, Barack Obama, 50 Cent, drinking, cnn, prison, jesus christ, authors, blake fielder civil, money changes everything, cancer, grey's anatomy, eddie izzard, patrick dempsey, michael crichton

• Caption This: Amy Winehouse Goes to Rehab

  Amy Winehouse on her way to rehab via Faded Youth. Posted Oct 27 2008, 12:50 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: drugs, amy winehouse, caption this, alcoholism, alcohol, crack, rehab, drug addiction, taxi

• Crush of the Week: Adele

  We had never heard of Adele before Saturday night. It's probable that most of the 17 million people who watched Saturday Night Live to catch a glimpse of Republican Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin last weekend hadn't either. Lucky for Adele, and for us, she happened to be on the most watched episode of SNL since 1994. And we were absolutely blown away by the British songstress.  Adele, who sounds like a sweet, controlled Amy Winehouse, studied at the same school as Winehouse (and Kate Nash). Except, she doesn't appear to be a crack head and she's absolutely gorgeous. But we're going to shut up now and let Adele do the talking singing. Video of Adele performing "Chasing Pavements," the first number she sang on SNL, after the jump. Read More... Posted Oct 21 2008, 05:09 PM by Emily Farris with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: video, crush of the week, amy winehouse, saturday night live, sarah palin, tina fey as sarah palin, british people, video of chasing pavements, video of adele, adele, video of adele singing chasing pavements on snl, british singers, kate nash, chasing pavements, adele on saturday night live, adele on snl, singers

• Video of the Day: La Pequeña Sarah Palin

  Sweet baby Jesus Lord in Heaven, our day has just been made. You've seen La Pequeña Amy Winehouse and La Pequeña Hillary Clinton. Now, the internets, and one very small man, have brought us La Pequeña Sarah Palin. Read More... Posted Oct 15 2008, 02:31 PM by Emily Farris with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: video, video of the day, hillary clinton, amy winehouse, sarah palin, la pequena

• Sloppy Seconds: Boy George's Plea to Amy Winehouse

  The BBC is defending a gay kiss on its hit show East Enders. [Queerty] Why are we so much more likely to believe that a shark had a virgin birth than a human? [Wired] Ha, remember when Lynne Spears wrote a book? [MollyGood] Read More... Posted Oct 10 2008, 05:01 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: sloppy seconds, drugs, amy winehouse, lynne spears, drug addiction, janet jackson, BBC, boy george, east enders, gay kiss, witchu

• While You Were Sleeping: Amy Winehouse's Scientology Cure

  Today in CNN discoveries: thrift stores get a lot of business from the middle class... and hipsters. Paris Bennett, who has something to do with American Idol, gave birth in the United States to a daughter she calls Egypt. Even Willem Dafoe is feeling the housing crunch... Read More... Posted Oct 07 2008, 09:59 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: new york, halloween, amy winehouse, Barack Obama, presidential candidates, cnn, scientology, american idol, john McCain, rehab, church of scientology, new york post, blake fielder civil, drew barrymore, vintage finds, housing, paris bennett, egypt, willem dafoe

• Amy Winehouse: A F*cking Disastah

  We all know that Amy Winehouse is a walking train wreck (perhaps walking on scabby toothpicks), but her latest stunt takes the cake... or whatever it was she happened to eat before returning the gowns she borrowed from a UK department store. Read More... Posted Sep 26 2008, 01:54 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: drugs, amy winehouse, cake, dresses, alcohol, clebrities, vomit, borrowed clothes, harvey nichols, mold, borrowed dresses, sick celebrities, borrowing, dirty clothes, vomiting celebrities

• Sloppy Seconds: How Did DJ A.M. and Travis Barker Survive Their Plane Crash?

  Chef Jamie Oliver (probably known as the Naked Chef) is expecting his third child with wife, Jools. [Us] Following in the footsteps of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Steven Spielberg and his wife, Kate Capshaw, have donated $100,000 to fight a California referendum seeking to ban gay marriage. [Yahoo!] It's probably a safe bet not letting Sarah Palin anywhere near reporters while she's unscripted, right? [Radar]  Read More... Posted Sep 23 2008, 05:21 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: sloppy seconds, amy winehouse, jail, pregnant, brad pitt, perez hilton, George Bush, survivors, angelina joile, blake fielder civil, Steven Spielberg, homophobia, california, california gay marriage, plane crash, travis barker, d.j. a.m., dj am, donation, naked chef, $100 000, gay marriagegay marriage ban, kate capshaw, jamie oliver, reahab, halfway house, blake incarecerated, half way house

• Blake Fielder-Civil Sends Amy Winehouse A Pic Of His Dick

  What do you do if your husband sends you a picture of his dick from prison? If you're Amy Winehouse, you immediately post it to your Facebook profile... If anyone has the uncensored version (how is it that only one person saw it and has neglected to offer us a NSFW version?), please send it to us... Read More... Posted Sep 17 2008, 10:02 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: music, drugs, amy winehouse, jail, penis, celebrities, prison, camera phones, blake fielder civil, weird, penises, sfw

• "Paris Hilton's Vagina Bites Penguin" And Other Classic Celebrity Spam Headlines

  Mainly because it's Friday and we're burnt out from a romantic concert by Dean & Britta last night, we found this Top 10 List of Celebrity Spam bizarrely hilarious... Read More... Posted Aug 22 2008, 12:17 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: michael jackson, lindsay lohan, britney spears, paris h