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• As If I Haven't Pissed Off EVERY Christian Reader of This Site...

  In no way is this an attempt to alienate our Christian readers. This falls under "Today in WTF," in the sense that we don't entirely appreciate the sentiment of this, the Inflatable Jesus Sex Doll. In fact, my gut reaction is that it goes far beyond satire and into pointless offensiveness-- which I'm guilty of on a daily basis, but that's another post. I warn Christian readers that you are going to hate this thing-- but, as with the racist Obama cookies and other insulting garbage we've posted, just because it's here, it doesn't mean anyone condones it. Read More... Posted May 12 2009, 03:13 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: religion, god, scanner brian, jesus christ the exclamatory, jesus christ, Christian, Christianity, today in wtf, the bible, wtf?, superstition, sacrelige

• Apparently, Florida Doesn't Want You to Learn How to Have Great Sex

  A few weeks back (or thereabouts), we told you about the Melbourne, Florida church that rocked the conservative community by promoting a new series of sex workshops. Unsurprisingly, most everyone in the area has decided that this is their cross to bear and each of them, individually, will try to prevent Christians from getting nailed properly... Read More... Posted Apr 27 2009, 12:52 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: religion, sex, school, florida, church, Christian, Christianity, getting laid, sex life, sex advice, sex acts, great sex, sex addiction, church and state

• Sloppy Seconds: Another Woman We've Never Heard of is FHM's Sexiest Woman in the World

  Waterboarding: Bad. Waterboarding Sean Hannity? Eh. For charity? Ahhh, maybe?No. No. Waterboarding is bad. [Huffington Post] Vice, most recent employer of the Hipster Grifter, has launched a new series on the Vice Broadcasting System called "Beyond the Pages of Vice." It's basically filming them working on their articles, and the first is a look at the, uh, dangers of mixing aerosol hairspray and fire. No word yet on whether or not the Hipster Grifter or her boobs will make an appearance in future episodes. [VBS] We were just thinking about switching to a bra without underwires, because, well, we don't have much to hold up. But not now. A Detroit woman's underwire actually deflected a bullet! [2News] Read More... Posted Apr 23 2009, 06:32 PM by Emily Farris with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: jesus, sloppy seconds, torture, gay marriage, christians, sean hannity, Christianity, megan fox, waterboarding, vice, hipster grifter, Kari ferrell, beyond the pages of vice, cheryl cole

• Jesus Died For Somebody's Sins, But Not Mine

  This video has been making the rounds today. We love it because we love anything that exposes religion for the ridiculous waste of time we know it to be. Agree or disagree, you have to wonder why Jesus didn't turn deserts into fertile farm land. Or why God is such a jackass with an amusing accent. (By the way, another Biblical highlight from today's blogs.)   Related: Sloppy Seconds: TGIGF for @JesusChrist Sex Ed Class Enjoys Naked Man Parade Posted Apr 17 2009, 02:26 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: video, religion, funny, god, jesus christ the exclamatory, jesus christ, Christianity, New Zealand, religious wackos, religious fanatics, religious leader

• Gah! Don't Let Your Kids Play With Satan's Testicles!

  Forgive us for an Easter Bunny photo so frightening, your future grandchild will be traumatized in perpetuity. We were forced to show it due to the seriousness of this situation, in order to draw your attention, much as Strollerderby dramatically alerted us, to What Is REALLY Happening Here In US Americans. Sunday is Easter Bunny Hunting Day, and there will be eggs in your yard, eggs in your trees, eggs in your pants. But did you know these eggs are really... Satan's schweddy balls?  Thank Christ Landover Baptist is on the case and we have their full, dramatic warning for you here... Read More... Posted Apr 10 2009, 09:11 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: religion, books, wtf, balls, funny, Christian, Christianity, strollerderby, satan, easter, nuts, religious wackos, religious fanatics, testicles, easter bunny

• Christians Retaliate Against Atheists With Even Lamer Ad Campaign

  Last month's story about the atheism bus and subway ad campaign is far and away the most-visited post we've ever run. Fools on both sides of the aisle are still debating the merits of the anti-God argument and every other aspect of the article. As of now, there are more than 80 comments (hey, that's a lot for us) and no end to the debate in sight. Now, comes word that the Christians are striking back publicly, with their own counter-campaign to the counter-campaign... Read More... Posted Feb 05 2009, 01:02 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: religion, scary, george w bush, advertisements, god, John Kerry, terrorism, Christian, Christianity, marketing, billboard, advertising, the south, advertisers, atheism, advertising age

• All Aboard the Atheism Bus

  The biggest story in Britain right now is the "Atheism Bus" campaign, which involves the rental of 800 billboard-size spaces on the sides of London's double deckers. The backers raised more than $200,000, most of it in just four days, and are now moving in to subway advertising, which we were lucky enough to get a full preview of. Read More... Posted Jan 08 2009, 03:34 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 87 comment(s) Filed under: religion, advertisements, ads, england, god, australia, britain, Christian, Christianity, controversial, bus, religious, atheism, tasmania

• Now Sweden Has Its Very Own Orgasm Church

  A Swedish court handed down a decision last week acknowledging that The Madonna of Orgasm Church (the other Madonna) had a right to registration as a faith organization, which, according to news reports, is some sort of slap in the face to Christians... Read More... Posted Nov 21 2008, 11:46 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: religion, sexy, orgasms, church, sweden, court, ejaculation, Christianity, swedish, Europe, art porn, religious fanatics

• Priest, During Confession: "Hey, You Wanna Go Back To My Place?"

  A priest in Queens is being sued by a woman he picked up while she was confessing... in his confession booth. If you think that's choice, wait'll you hear what he did that made her decide to sue his dumb ass... Read More... Posted Oct 31 2008, 03:36 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: religion, dating, stds, lawsuits, church, sexually transmitted diseases, Christianity, confessions, pickup artists, cheaters, catholic church, lawsuit, religious wackos, religious fanatics, catholic

• Christian Nymphos: Giving It Up in the Name of Jesus

  For the past two days we have been totally obsessed with the Christian Nymphos website. Yes, that's right it's a website about how to keep married sex "spicy, the way God intended it!" Christian Nymphos is written by Christian women with names like "PeppermintGirl," "CinnamonSticks" and "CuminGirl"--we've yet to determine whether that double entendre is intentional. In other words, it really, truly, is a site for Christian nymphomaniacs, and it really, truly, does have advice on how to spice up your Christian sex life through things like role-playing which is totally OK for Christians to do, like, all the time!   Read More... Posted Oct 20 2008, 03:44 PM by Nicole Pasulka with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: Christian, Christianity, nympho, christian nymphos, nymphomaniacs

• Isn't It Ironic? Jonas Brothes Lurve Britney Spears

  "Jonas Brothers' Wish Comes True: They Meet Britney Spears Backstage At The VMAs," read the MTV headline. This makes us chuckle, you see, because just yesterday, we were discussing the Jonas Brothers' chastity belts purity rings.  And just yesterday, they were drooling all over Brit Baby and her "shimmery asymmetrical minidress." Read More... Posted Sep 09 2008, 11:33 AM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: britney spears, virginity, MTV, sex, Christianity, purity ball, pregnacy, jonas brothers, vma, chastity belt, purity rings

• While You Were Sleeping: The Madonna-Guy Ritchie Separation

  A teacher in Tennessee was fired by her school board, even after charges of child molestation were proven false, while a teacher in Georgia was arrested for stalking his underage girlfriend/ex-student by text. Oh, and one more: a 26-year-old teacher in South Carolina was arrested for getting her students drunk after hours. Ellen Degeneres and Portia de Rossi are now Mrs. and Mrs.  Speaking of celebrity couplings, Hillary Duff refuses to be overshadowed by Lindsay Lohan and the rest of the young starlets... Read More... Posted Aug 18 2008, 08:43 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: gay marriage, james franco, athletes, hockey, engaged, Los Angeles, madonna, naked people, wedding, teacher student sex, New Orleans, separation, South Carolina, Christianity, tennessee, arrest, Guy Ritchie, teacher sex, ellen degeneres, hillary duff, california, portia de rossi, prostitute

• Male Mormon Missionaries Go Topless For The Hell Of It

  Shocking-- men without their shirts on? And in the 21st Century? This is unprecedented, and certainly far to risque for a wall calendar... my God, what's next, Mormon Missionaries topless on a wall calendar? That pretty much sums up the typical reaction of members of the Mormon church to Chad Hardy (with a name like that, can gay porn be far behind?), who is about to launch the second smash edition of "Men on A Mission 2009: Mormons Mxposed," which is apparently riddled with similar wit... Read More... Posted Jul 15 2008, 11:02 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: mormons, calendar, families, Christianity, topless photos, topless model, missionary

• It's Always the Unsuspecting Girls Who Turn Out to be Crazy Christians

  And by "unsuspecting" we mean skanky attention whores. We don't really have anything against Christians. Or skanky attention whores for that matter. Without them, what would we write about? It's the combination of Christian and skanky attention whore that bothers us... Read More... Posted Jun 30 2008, 04:01 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: christians, reality television, Christianity, attention whores

• Ted Haggard: Busting Out of the Spiritual Restoration Center

  Praise the sweet baby Jesus Lord! Ted Haggard has been cured of his gayness... or has wisened up to the fact that he can't be cured of it. Read More... Posted Jun 26 2008, 05:02 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: homosexuals, church, gays, Ted Haggard, Christianity, but i'm a cheerleader

• The Father-Daughter Purity Ball Is One Party Scanner Will Not Be Attending

  This is the Father-Daughter Purity Ball in Colorado Springs where fathers pledge to "guard their daughters from what evangelicals consider a profoundly corrosive 'hook-up culture'" by escorting them to a formal function and talking endlessly about sex (Not having it--but still!). Whether abstinence is real or make believe, we think it's creepy when fathers obsessively fixate on their daughters' virginity. Read More... Posted May 20 2008, 04:00 PM by Nicole Pasulka with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: fatherhood, Christianity, purity ball

• Should Christian Science Monitor Be Fed To The Lions?

  Forgive the controversy-baiting title: it really is necessary to draw your attention to the most offensive article written this year in the English language. The article, written under the name Shireen K. Burki for the always suspect Christian Science Monitor (hell, that's almost a triple negative), is so ghastly, so offensive, wrong, and off-base in its attacks on Barack Obama, that not only will Hillary supporters be outraged, McCain himself might end up weighing in on it... if he can locate his missing moral compass, that is... Read More... Posted May 20 2008, 11:21 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 10 comment(s) Filed under: Barack Obama, john McCain, offensive, Christianity, Muslim, democratic primary

• Christians Having Better Sex Than You

  Don't you love the sacreligious pic, via PhotoDisc? Created in 1997, the site covers topics like anal, oral and phone sex; masturbation and role-playing; fetishes; bonding; and spanking. No, they're not talking about Nerve, silly. It's actually the website of Pastor Paul Byerly of Salem, OR, entitled TheMarriageBed.com. And it's just the latest sign that Christians are opening up to the idea of exploring sex and enjoying some hot anal action in the name of Lord Jesus... Read More... Posted Apr 16 2008, 03:01 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: marriage, sex addict, nudity, Christian, Christianity, Conservative Christians, progress, sex addicts

• This Week in Gayness: E-Harmony Doesn't Want You

  Two lesbian mothers are fighting over custody of thier child; one of them is using an anti-gay law to skewer the court's favor.  This, plus Ewan McGregor, Dita Von Teese, Sally Kern, the anti-gay t-shirt case heads to the Supreme Court, and more... after the jump... Read More... Posted Apr 04 2008, 10:04 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: internet dating, lesbian, gay marriage, american gladiators, Chelsea clinton, gays, nudists, Christianity, this week in gayness, sally kern, e-harmony

• Top 10 Spam Euphemisms For Your Small Willy

  "Would you like to have a larger, fuller, stronger tool?" We all love it when Gmail makes a funny and leaves some amusing spam in our inboxes. For no good reason, we've put together highlights of recent spam e-mails, which you must admit are getting more eye-catching as e-mail filters grow slightly more sophisticated. Read More... Posted Mar 31 2008, 02:30 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: spam, internet, funny names, comedy, Christianity, christian singles

• This Week in Gayness: Gay Marriage Heats Up

  Sally Kern's son was arrested for oral sodomy in 1989. Nevertheless, he denied being a homosexual. Then someone realized he would've been twelve that year and now we're just all confused-- mainly about what oral sodomy is. Read More... Posted Mar 20 2008, 01:20 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: gay marriage, republicans, oral sex, missouri, civil rights, Christianity, civil unions, baltimore, the simpsons, sodomy

• Vampire Lestat to Get Religion in the Near Future

  Interview with the Vampire author Anne Rice's pants are totally on fire! Three years ago, she swore up and down that since she'd returned to the church -- oh, you didn't know? -- she'd never be able to write another one of those sinfully homoerotic bloodsucking romps. "I would be a fool for all eternity to turn my back on God like that," she said back then. And now? Well, maybe God's not reading so much these days? Read More... Posted Feb 25 2008, 12:00 PM by Bryan Christian with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: books, Christianity, the vampire lestat, anne rice, broken promises, vampires

• On Our To-Do List: Charles Barkley

  We're totally, full-court press, crushing on Charles Barkley after hearing him slam the Christian Right for being fake and hypocritical on CNN. Like so many crushes, Charles had us at "[Conservative] Christians... they're not supposed to judge other people, but they're the most hypocritical judge of people we have in this country." And hearing Charles say "I feel very comfortable saying I'm pro-choice and I'm for gay marriage" made us feel very hot and bothered. In case you're reading this, Mr. Barkley, we just wanted to let you know that if you wanted to drive us to the basket, box us out or double team us, we wouldn't call a flagrant foul. Read More... Posted Feb 20 2008, 03:07 PM by Katie Halper with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: basketball, cnn, conservatives, Charles Barkley, WWJD, What Would Jesus Do, Wolf Blitzer, fake Christians, To-Do List, Slam, Christianity, Barkley, slam-dunk, Conservative Christians