The Detroit Free Press has always been one of our favorite parts about the Motor City. It's only natural that their sex advice column would do what no other paper does-- actually have intelligent conversations, many of which don't necessarily pander to the readers who just want a giggle-ready piece of entertainment.
This week, the Press tackles real topics like Viagra for women, lopsided boobs, and lies and the lying liars who tell them...
The column is hosted by the great and amusing Isadora Alman, who wrote
that book "Doing It: Real People Having Really Good Sex," which is
hidden in your bookcase behind the Charles Dickens box set. She's a
certified sexologist (I'd love to have been at that meeting) and has
done some psychotherapy, which helps when people ask you questions like
this (emphasis added):
Dear Isadora: Why can't the drug manufacturers find something
that will work on women the way Viagra does on men? For that matter, do
Viagra and the other pills like it ever work for women?
Answer: Viagra does seem to work for some women. The reason is
that it sends blood to engorge the genitals. Where that creates an
erection on men already feeling desire, for women it simply sends blood
to the area, which can feel like arousal to some women, but doesn't for
most. Viagra and its like do not affect desire in men either, just the
ability to have sexual intercourse. Because most women always have that
ability (excluding painful conditions such as vaginismus), creating
desire is what's complicating the creation of a magic pill. For many
more women than men, the desire for sex is bound up in relationship
issues and beliefs about appropriate behavior, and there can be no
magic pill to deal with those psychological factors.
Dear Isadora: Is there any way to tell for sure whether your partner is lying to you?Answer:
For sure? No. There was a rumor that one could tell always when a
certain politician was lying. It was whenever he moved his lips! In all
other cases you have to rely on what you know of the person's record of
truth-telling...
Dear Isadora: My daughter's breasts are beginning to grow and
they are coming in lopsided. Are they likely to even out when she is
through maturing? She is 11, by the way. Isn't that early?Answer:
Young women are maturing much earlier these days. The average age for
first menstruation in the 19th Century was around 16; now it is 12.
Better nutrition is one probable cause. If you look carefully at your
own body, you will see that things that come in pairs are not exactly
equal. ...
What do we think about her view that, for women, "the desire for sex is bound up in relationship issues," etc.?
You can read her full responses to these questions here.
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