This year's April Fool's Day definitely topped 2008 for sheer ridiculous fake sex news.
Here are a few of our favorites, not including the Gmail Autopilot helper that Colleen and I both linked to earlier...
The best part is, that British MPs story is definitely true.
MSNBC ran a story that we immediately called bullshit on, but on reflection, it turns out it's probably at least partly factual:
Dr. Wang jokes with the new parents a bit and then says, "I understand you may want to have a circumcision for your baby."
Larry and Joy don't answer immediately. At last Larry says, "Well ... we don't know."
Dr. Wang smiles. He's familiar with the befuddled expression on Larry's face.
Circumcision,
of course, is the surgical removal of the penile foreskin from the
glans — the fleshy crown of the penis. It is one of the most commonly
performed procedures in American hospitals,
and except for abortion, it may be the most controversial. The
procedure has long been known to reduce the spread of a few rare,
serious diseases, and to prevent a few annoying, uncomfortable ones.
But in 1999, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) determined that
the risk of surgical complications, though small, nearly canceled out
the benefits...
A Google search for a Dr. Wang at Massachusetts General turns up several ancient article hits, so he's probably real. But that doesn't mean a story about a "Dr. Wang" and his penis obsession doesn't ring false on a day like today...
By far the best goof of the day and without a doubt the most interesting story we've come across in ages is actually a true story (we think) of the life of Alan Abel, a semi-unknown prankster, as reported in Esquire. In addition to being the first person ever to have his obituary retracted by the New York Times, he is known for incredible stunts like staging a mass-fainting epidemic in the audience of a live Phil Donahue Show taping and starting both the Society for Indecency to Naked Animals, which kickstarted a popular (though fake) movement to put pants on farm animals and pets, and most famous of all, Citizens Against Breastfeeding.
But we remember these from the interview:
ESQ: In 1994, you went on The Jenny Jones Show
with an actress playing your wife, and she said she had glued your
penis to your butt while you were sleeping. Was Jenny Jones in on that?
AA: Oh no, not at all. At first, she was furious, and then they got this great exposé in the Washington Post
and they were so pleased. The show was repeated over and over. The same
thing happened when HBO did a documentary on male genitalia called Private Dicks Exposed.
They had an 800 number and they said in the ad, "If you're interested
in talking about your private parts, call," so I did. I figured all
these guys were going to call in to brag about their size. So I said I
was the smallest in the world. One inch, erect. And they said: "You're
on the show!"
ESQ: Didn't they ever ask to see your goods?
AA: They did, when they were interviewing me for the
documentary. The director said, "Everyone's taken their clothes off
except you, Bruce." There were about twenty-five people on the crew,
including some very attractive ladies, and I said, "Only if we can have
group sex after the wrap." They said no. So I didn't have to take off
my shorts.
As we said, this is a must-read.
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