Sloppy Seconds: Joaquin Phoenix Fights His Audience

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

Clive Owen doesn't really enjoy sex with Julia Roberts. Honestly, we don't blame him.

Don't listen to that stupid conservative's argument that James Carville is just as bad as Rush Limbaugh.

Helen Hunt may be engaged. Remember that show Mad About You? Ah... you youngin's. 

Church sex is the best sex. Just sayin'.

Twin doctors-- is there anything creepier (if you've seen that Jeremy Irons movie, that is)? This guy and his twin were involving in molesting young boys in their offices.

Isn't it time Joaquin Phoenix admitted his stupid Casey Affleck documentary is a mockumentary? His diving into the audience to fight someone in Miami at 2am this morning is the dumbest celebrity story since the last one we ran about Paris Hilton, whatever that was.

We reported on this sex scandal at a Jersey high school, but the Rolling Stone story (via the Times Online) is essential reading.

Anne Heche gave birth to a boy with another lover we won't be able to remember.

 

Related:

Sloppy Seconds: Did Barbara Walters Out Whoopi Goldberg?

A Date With Jeremy Piven is a Very Bad Thing

Sloppy Seconds: Nicky Hilton Takes the Law Into Her Own Hands

While You Were Sleeping: Westboro Stoops To New Low...


Comments

allfathersdotter said:

That Rolling Stone article was amazing, and disturbing - I also say it's a "must read"

March 12, 2009 7:04 PM

Monique said:

I don't care what you say. Julia Roberts is hot.

March 14, 2009 1:08 AM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Nerve, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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