We're recovering from public nudity burnout after this morning's news and for some idiotic reason, decided that a sane refuge would be the Craig's List Missed Connection section.
Based on what we've come across in the w4m section, a mysterious brand of man has taken over the city of New Amsterdam...
...the beard-o. Jim James, pictured above, the lead singer of Kentucky rock band My Morning Jacket, is rumored to have made the city a second home. The hipsters in Williamsburg have all seemingly realized that, though they live in an urban area, the ladies will overlook the flannel shirts and generally disheveled appearance... as long as the dude's got a beard.
beardo stare - w4m (union pool)
ten thousand dollar stare, what was the even? giving someone "the look"
for so long that they begin to fear for their life certainly works, but
when you don't follow up with at least a half crack of a smile it still
just leaves them fearing for their life.
let's do this rattlesnake dance, you angel.
ps. one hundred bones says your clothes smell like campfire.
When we read the part about one hundred bones, it kind of freaked us out. Maybe it's because we were listening to Warren Zevon's "Excitable Boy," with its deliberately goofy melody and the terrifying lines: "And he dug up her grave/and made a cage with her bones/excitable boy, they all said."
L train making eyes and a laugh - w4m (brooklyn)
...Your beard was new, a month tops-- more like a shadow than a beard. ...I noticed you staring at me i think at Bedford. I stopped actually
reading my magazine so i could see if you were still glancing at me at
Graham. Surprisingly, you were still on the train at my stop at
Myrtle-Wyckoff. we smiled and you watched me leave the train. I turned
around twice and you were still looking. you seem fun. i liked your
eyes. and i want to know how that book is. are you a Halsey stop guy?
Want to go on a hike? I think my camelbak and your hiking boots will
get us far enough in the treacherous terrain of Mccarren or Central or
Prospect Park.
More choice beard sightings:
I was the brunette with my hair up in a bun, wearing a colorful yellow
& pink scarf and long black coat, talking to my friend. you sat
next to her and it seems like you kept looking over at us, maybe at me?
you had a beard and a hearing aid, were in sneakers and carrying a
sports bag. I think I've seen you on the train before.
You were the cute guy with the reddish-brown beard and a stocking hat
(that looked like maybe a chicago or cleveland team??) who got on the F... I was the brown eyed brunette
sitting a few seats away in a black peacoat and rain boots reading a
magazine. We caught eyes when you got on and kept sneaking looks until
I had to get off....
Piece of advice: if you aren't 100% sure which team it is your potential dude favors, best to refrain from even mentioning it. Haven't you people seen Diner?
Although all is not lost for you dudes without beards... as this lady suggests, you could always... grow one. (Otherwise, forget it.)
hey bud.. i was sitting to your left while you smoked a hookah at the
bar... could not stop thinking about how sexy you'd be with some scruff
or a full on beard. you have the hottest "bear" potential. hit me up!
Scanner Emily, better hurry back-- all these enterprising ladies are staking all the bearded territory...
Via Craig's List.
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