While You Were Sleeping: Oscar Upsets?

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

As Emily would say, with a headline like this, you don't need a story: woman stops bullet with her hair weave.

We saw a surprisingly riveting and ultimately transcendent Leonard Cohen concert last night, his first in 15 years. If you have any interest in seeing him, he'll be at Coachella, as well as a string of U.S. and Canadian venues, in April and May.

A photo of Rihanna taken shortly after Chris Brown's arrest seems to confirm the original, horrifying story. (Note: This is not a direct link to the photo. To do that, click on the word TMZ when you get to MTV's story about the photo-- but don't say we didn't warn you.)

Can Melissa Leo pull off an upset at the Oscars? Can Meryl Streep... or anyone? Seriously, in any category. Surprise us-- Werner Herzog takes the Best Documentary statue... Milk takes the top prize from that enjoyable, predictable, far-from-art picture Slumdog Millionaire.

Speaking of the Oscars, the guy who sells pills to Mickey Rourke's character in The Wrestler has been arrested on a similar charge. Prior to his capture, he rammed three cop cars-- now, that's what we call "roid rage." Har har.

What's worse? Our story about the fifth-grade girl who traded sex with a drug dealer for some of his pot or these kids, busted at the age of eight for heroin possession? 

Dita Von Teese lied: she was never celibate after her marriage. We knew all along, from personal experience, of course.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers will continue their hiatus, while Simon and Garfunkel are getting back together.

Let's end on a feel-good story for a change. How about these generous and wonderful New Mexicans, eh?

 

Related:

Kate Moss Stocks Up On Beer, Strips For New York Magazine

Florida Pastor Wants Us to Have Sex!

Sloppy Seconds: Kanye West Dresses Better Than the Gays

Today in WTF: Man Has Sex with or in a Dumpster


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About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Nerve, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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