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We Boiled Mena Suvari's Sex Movie Down To Its Most Watchable Moments

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

Translation: we present, so you never have to rent this straight-to-DVD film due out in October, the three-minute graphic sex scene that probably helped keep Stuck out of most movie theaters...

Stuck actually sounded promising. In Europe, this would have been dark and disturbing and probably would've been robbed of a Best Foreign Film nod at the Oscars. Check out an Amazon.com review of the DVD, due October 14, probably written by a publicity hack but still worth checking out...

In it, the reviewer mentions how Stuck is about a nurse that hits a man on her way home (while, of course, popping ecstasy and talking on her cell phone, the greatest crime of all.) Unfortunately, the man does not die and in fact, remains-- yep-- stuck to her windshield. Instead of saving his life,

she pops more Ecstasy, has sex with her boyfriend, and wonders how the accident might affect her promotion at the retirement home where she works. This is not good, she figures. So instead of saving Tom, she pleads, "Whay are you doing this to me," and then whacks him with a board whenever he regains consciousness, hoping that he'll just die already so she can dispose of his body. Re-Animator Stuart Gordon's satirical film is ultimately about an American culture that has become so self-absorbed that it is easier to refuse assistance to a dying person than to inconvenience oneself. Brandi's refusal to believe the accident was her fault, instead blaming the homeless guy for the sticky situation, works as priceless comedy. Stuck is rich in sex, drugs, horror, and graphic grindhouse gore. 

It would've been great... if it didn't obviously suck! Here are the only three minutes you'll ever want to see:


Mena Suvari Sex Scene

 

Related:

Top 5 Sex Scenes Involving Food

Top 10 Places To Have Sex... This Week

UPDATE: A Plethora of Penis Photos

Top 5 Kate Winslet Sex Scenes

While You Were Sleeping: All The Harry Potter Kids Are Getting Naked


Comments

asb76 said:

Why does it "obviously suck?"  Just wondering if you've seen it because I thought it was well done.

August 29, 2008 6:52 PM

Brian Fairbanks said:

Well, we were kind of joking around... but we're also setting low expectations for ourselves because it sounds like our kind of movie: dark comedy, satire, sex scenes... hell, Stephen Rea's in it. Isn't there a rule that says Stephen Rea is never in terrible movies?

Thanks for the review, now we'll rent it after all.

August 29, 2008 7:05 PM

That Fuzzy Bastard said:

I haven't seen it, but the smarter critics seem to have loved it (and the dumber critics hated it), Stephen Rea's in it, Stuart Gordon's directing---it sounds terrific.  I dunno, man---I understand that y'all are trying to be hip and snarky and Gawkeresque, but your habit of ironically praising crappy movies and ironically dissing good (and especially indie) movies is... not as ironic as you seem to think.

August 29, 2008 9:34 PM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Nerve, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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  • about the blogger

    Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one . . . so far.

    Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

    Nicole Pasulka is a Brooklyn writer and editor who's always on the lookout for the dirty. Her other virtual home is at The Morning News, where things are squeaky clean most of the time.

    Send us links! scanner@nerve.com


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