No, not in that way...
An 11-year boy was arrested for armed
robbery... at a Florida Walgreen's... Apparently, our boy took after
our favorite Charlie Scene movie* and tried to rob a convenient store
last night.
According to FoxnewsOrlando:
The incident started around 3:30am
Monday when the youngster entered the Walgreen’s. Police said the
boy was able to make it out of the store with a backpack with an undisclosed
amount of cash.
“Officers were able to locate
and arrest the child approximately five minutes after the robbery occurred.”
Unconfirmed reports has it that the
boy led police on a high-speed chase through the playground on his bicycle,
no word yet if he was able to have sex with a girl* while riding however.
First of all, what is this kid doing
out at 3am? In a sane society we’d also ask why he had access
to BB guns, but this is Florida we’re talking about.
The good news is that, according
to the police, the boy “did not steal any prescription drugs or medication;
only cash.” For a second we were worried he might have an OxyContin addiction.
[Full disclosure: Before
you load up your Netflix queue, The Chase is only my favorite
Charlie Sheen movie because of a similar experience late one night on
the way home from a country bar in Jersey (don’t ask). I was
driving my girlfriend’s 1985 Dodge Charger down some dark highway
when she decided to hike up her skirt, zip down my fly and climb on
top of me. By the time we finished I looked down to notice that
my foot had the pedal floored and we climaxed together at 110 mph.
I have an affinity for Grease 2 for similar reasons. Otherwise
both films are rather forgettable.]
VIDEO: Police: 11-year-old
child robbed Walgreen's
-this post was written by substitute blogger Byron Dafoe
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