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Babeland Launches The Erratic, Dangerous, Man-Eliminating Vibrator

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

Truth be told, our title was written in retaliation-- in fear, really, since if this thing actually works, it would mean the virtual end of the need for females to have sexual partners...

SaSi (pronounced "sassy"), is smart-ass vibrator, and does the following:

1) remembers what you like and knows how to repeat itself 

2) weilds a "smooth round massage head" like the tip of a tongue, "creating a soft kneading" of varying speeds, in an apparent attempt to replicate some hot oral sex. According to the website:

The SaSi is the closest (and we mean very close) you’ll get to cunnilingus from a vibrator, thanks to the undulating nub under the vibrator’s skin.

3) pleases the eye with its "iPod inspired interface."

It's availabe exclusively (in North America, at least) from Babeland. This NSFW video will perhaps tempt the ladies some more... and possibly lead to dismissive remarks from their lovers in the comments section...

Via Babeland.

Comments

Mandy said:

I misread this as "Smart,  Ass Vibrator."

August 11, 2008 4:35 PM

fitandfun71 said:

No vibrator will:

1) Hold your hair back when your puking;

2) Tell you that you don't look fat in a tone you'll believe;

3) Order flowers at your office for NO reason.

Those are my three of my top ten; not the best three, just three.  I have seven more ready to go if asked.

August 11, 2008 4:57 PM

biff said:

Yeah, there's no reason to panic. To paraphrase the movie, the OH! in Ohio, "the vibrator is not your competitor, the vibrator is your teammate."

August 11, 2008 6:50 PM

mhammondhambone said:

I must agree with biff...  one of the best sex tips I ever got was from a friend who told me to take my girlfriend on a date to the sex toy store, buy a vibrator, and go home and **** the hell out of her with it.

That SaSi thing looks awesome.  Take your lady from behind, put that thing up to her clit... Let the Wild Rumpus Start!

August 12, 2008 4:56 AM

Mandy said:

Haaaa!

"Let the wild rumpus start."

Great. I have to read that book to my kid tonight.

August 12, 2008 9:04 AM

larose said:

hmmm...

what are the other seven?

August 12, 2008 10:03 AM

saraswank said:

Wow, sign me up!

August 12, 2008 10:12 AM

liskula said:

now this is journalism at its finest....

good work Brian!

Just like I was told as a teenager... if all men died today, there wouldn't be enough batteries to last until tomorrow.

August 12, 2008 10:21 AM

fitandfun71 said:

Ask me personally about the other seven, larose.

August 12, 2008 11:47 AM

fitandfun71 said:

Two more things your vibrator won't do:

- Wash your hair in the tub or shower.

- Bring you soup when you're sick.

August 12, 2008 6:29 PM

meganco said:

hold your hair?  wash your hair?  what about *pull* your hair?  'cause that's way more of an issue.  i've got friends for the first one, and i could get a nurse for the second... maybe i could get a nurse to do the third, but i wouldn't really feel comfortable asking her, y'know, it just doesn't seem appropriate.

August 14, 2008 9:54 AM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Nerve, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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  • about the blogger

    Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one . . . so far.

    Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

    Nicole Pasulka is a Brooklyn writer and editor who's always on the lookout for the dirty. Her other virtual home is at The Morning News, where things are squeaky clean most of the time.

    Send us links! scanner@nerve.com


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