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Sloppy Seconds: Topless Chicks Arrested At KFC

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

Miss USA fell down during the evening wear competition at the Miss Universe pageant.... for the second year in a row. USA! USA! USA! 

A student protester in Iran was beaten, tortured, and imprisoned there after appearing on the cover of The Economist. Two things: People actually read The Economist? And how did the guy get from Iraq to America? The followup doesn't say-- he just escapes from Iran, then makes it to Iraq and... the next thing you know, he's here. Does anyone smell another Bush Administration manipulation here? 

Kate Moss, topless on vacation, is apparently trying for the Amy Winehouse-Doing-Kate Moss look these days. Make it stop!

Princess Anne apparently enjoys something called "lighthouse bagging." We read the whole article and still can't get our original idea of what that means out of our heads. 

A twenty-eight-year-old female sheriff's deputy has to register as a sex offender in Colorado after getting it on with a prisoner. Who was a man. A man, as in, he was well over the age of 18. 

Best spam headlines of the day: "Moulin Splooge," "Tiffany accessories at never before prices," and, from a Capt. Mr. Chidpong: "ASSIST ME OUT OF IRAQ URGENTLY." Good luck, Captain, but I think George Bush wants you there until we die of old age.

And then this:

The topless women from animal rights group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) were arrested on Monday afternoon while protesting outside the CBD restaurant over KFC's alleged treatment of chickens in factories and slaughterhouses.

The women - naked apart from lacy, yellow bikini bottoms - were inside a large cage, holding signs that read "Chicks Agree: Boycott KFC".

One of the protesters claimed they were "roughly-handled" by police...

Not that we're condoning police brutality, but is anyone surprised that a bunch of cops manhandled (what a sexist term) a bunch of naked activists?


Comments

Abram Nichols said:

hahahahah, "Agree" and "KFC" - that rhymes!  Those clever "chicks!"

July 14, 2008 6:41 PM

LydiaSarah said:

Brian, the story about Ahmad Batebi was covered extensively in the New York Times yesterday, including more details about his escape from Iran, his entry into the United States and his desire to not be used as political leverage for a U.S. invasion of Iran (which he opposes.) The link is too long to post neatly but just search the archives and you should find it easily.

I'm all about calling the Bush administration on it's bullshit but let's not forget that Iran being a pretty fucked up place right now is not something made up by the Republicans, and, also, we Bush-haters don't look very good when we don't even research our attacks.

July 15, 2008 3:39 PM

Nikki said:

It does read like a straight up propaganda article, the way they play up the part about how his attourney cried because  of his unscarred his arms in the photo.

Plus how the hell did he have a cellphone?  From 1999?  Did they give him one in jail to record his escape because my cellphone from 1999 was a brick that could only call people.

July 15, 2008 9:00 PM

K said:

Jesus, the guy was tortured and managed to escape, that's a good thing, regardless of who helped him. How could you write about this story _without_ taking the side of the innocent man?

July 16, 2008 11:21 AM

Equazcion said:

Yeah, if you're gonna poke fun at an administration, don't try to use the fact that they saved a kid who was tortured. That's just not cool.

July 23, 2008 6:23 AM

Equazcion said:

PS Am I the only one who took one look at that KFC photo and figured the protesters would've made some use of the breast pun?

July 23, 2008 7:44 AM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Nerve, is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker/The Consumerist. He will be first against the wall, come the revolution.

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  • about the blogger

    Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one . . . so far.

    Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

    Nicole Pasulka is a Brooklyn writer and editor who's always on the lookout for the dirty. Her other virtual home is at The Morning News, where things are squeaky clean most of the time.

    Send us links! scanner@nerve.com


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