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New Miley Cyrus Photo Scandal Already Exaggerated Beyond Belief

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

Oh my God! A fifteen-year-old girl posed for private pictures of herself wearing clothing! Call in the Catholic League! Have her parents executed in a public square by a man in a black hood! 

Jesus, save us! One of these pictures features Miley Cyrus, who is a role model to seven-year-old girls in every rich white town in Connecticut and in select other regions, was found to have been acting like a fifteen-year-old girl in the presence of her own personal cellphone camera. Miley Cyrus, who has an obligation under the law to go to church seven days a week, keep her head bowed at a 45-degree angle while in public, and marry the first man who kisses her on the mouth, scandalized the nation with these two shameful, shameful photos.

Miley Cyrus has been caught up in yet another photo scandal after an internet hacker accessed her phone's memory and found a series of saucy snaps.

The new pictures allegedly show the singer posing seductively in the shower with only a wet t-shirt covering her modesty, as well as a photo of her showing off her stomach in a skimpy top.

The snaps were reportedly downloaded from the star's personal picture phone memory by a hacker calling himself the Digital Gangster.

According to celebrity [asshole] Perez Hilton, who has the controversial new photographs on his website [complete with moronic, tasteless, offensive, inappropriate, uncalled-for, and cruel "graffiti" on each snap], the hacker is shopping the snaps around to several publications

The second, more "offensive" pic:

Via WENN/IMDB

Related:

Miley Cyrus Proves Once Again That She Is--Gasp!--a Regular, Old Idiot Kid

Quote of the Day: "The more you stomp in poop, the more it stinks."

Where Was Daddy When Miley Cyrus Was Taking Topless Photos for Vanity Fair?


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About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Nerve, is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker/The Consumerist. He will be first against the wall, come the revolution.

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  • about the blogger

    Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one . . . so far.

    Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

    Nicole Pasulka is a Brooklyn writer and editor who's always on the lookout for the dirty. Her other virtual home is at The Morning News, where things are squeaky clean most of the time.

    Send us links! scanner@nerve.com


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