Did you guys know that Wil Wheaton has a groovy and unsurprisingly well-written blog? (Full disclosure: Stand By Me is the greatest movie ever made.) Many people of all sorts of unknown backgrounds are aware of and have read this excellent blog. However, Wil Wheaton has made a grand faux pas that his readers may never forgive: reiterating some nasty rumors about Hillary Clinton.
From the WWdN blog (What Would Will Wheaton do? No, that's not right):
At times like these, when it would be easy to despair, I find comfort in humor, like this post I saw on Reddit this morning: Hillary Clinton: The Psycho Ex-Girlfriend of the Democratic Party.
Mr. Wheaton found this salacious gossip funny?! We frankly did not. No, we were too disturbed by the possibility that we might actually agree with this name-calling to laugh. Perhaps we might actually read this nastiness to find out what was so horrifying that Wil Wheatonites had to write him politely-worded hate mail?
It's 2:31 AM. The Democratic Party is sleeping peacefully when it hears
its phone buzz on the night stand. It rolls over and sees "Hillary" on
the caller ID. It pauses briefly, considering pushing "END" and not
dealing with this shit tonight. The thought is appealing but the
Democratic Party knows that if it doesn't take this call, another one
is only minutes away.
DEMS: ...Hello?
Hillary: Hey baby.
DEMS: C'mon Hillary. Enough with this.
Hillary: Don't you get it? You NEED me.
DEMS: No, I don't. It was fun while it lasted but I'm with Barack now. I made my choice, it's done.
Hillary: You can't really mean that. How can you say that after all the good times we had?
DEMS: To be honest, I started hanging out with you because Bill's pretty awesome.
Hillary: But I'm just like Bill!
DEMS: No, you're not. Bill is charismatic, inspiring, and gets me really good weed.
Hillary: Fuck you. You're elitist!
DEMS: I'm going back to sleep.
Talk about a low blow... after all, this woman is going to President, as of January 2013, so we better be nice to her now... okay?
As for Wil, he appears to have triumphed and moved on to posting about Seattle Comic Cons, so we're not too worried about him... in fact, this post's orginal and completely tasteless title was to be "Triumph of the Wil." Too much?
Via Wil Wheaton's blog, WWdN: In Exile.
Photo courtesy of Austin's Alamo Drafthouse.
